red | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

Season 23 Ep 14: Workaholism, Valentines Day, The Two New Yorks

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 14:51:03 -0500

Show: #549
Length: 30:04
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

The Valentines Day is coming
I won't forget, baby
Anniversary, yes. This, no.
Cards with hearts, what?
You do work, work but I do the rest
My workaholism smells like vodka
While I watch reality shows
Threatening them to go to bed
If I could work at VH1
You call that brainstorming
The art of casting them?
You are so flawed
But I love you
Working the ASPCA
You lured a stray dog into your car?
Ruining fast food forever
The franchise agreement
The two New Yorks
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: aspca collecting cans valentines day VH1 reality shows

Season 23 Ep 14: Croncast Sampler

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 14:47:47 -0500

Show: #549-Sampler
Length: 4:02
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

Tags: aspca collecting cans valentines day VH1 reality shows

Season 23 Ep 07: Green Pants, Entering the Scene, Chicagowaukee accent

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 18:40:15 -0500

Show: #542
Length: 30:33
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

I walk out on the stoop every morning to pick up the Times
I have on my robe, bunny slippers
You wish you could afford the Times
That's true
Or had a stoop of my own
Trampled by clicking heels heading out of the building
What I like about New York is you can count on people
You can trust them
However, you can't trust the New Yorkers that wear green pants
They will slam doors on you
Push you off the curb in front of a bus
The have an alliance with leprechauns
It's true
Trying to transcribe your kids homework from accented folks
We couldn't understand each other
You're accented now too, baby
You've toured the midwest
They can't understand you
Your Chicagowaukee accent
It's all about dominance in NY
Passive dominance is the flavor of the relationship
It's like entering an improv scene
Costco in the city experience
99/100 emails are for you
We did get noticed on the street
We handled it horribly
The kids were like what?
Really you know who I am?
The walking class is stuck during the NYC marathon
Only people left were us and the runners

Tags: Chicagowaukee leprechaun bunny slippers NYC marathon

Season 23 Ep 06: The Night Out, Black Coats, Greasy Spoonage

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 14:32:47 -0500

Show: #541
Length: 32:33
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Leaving the comments
Sexy Betsy
That is all that I am calling you from now on
Like Galore Vixen
I went out with a new friend
It's hard to know what to dress like with new friends
She's a cool, cool kind of chick
Got pink streaks in her hair
She's a mommy, she's a nice lady
Guilt laden Bear speech
What?
Like wearing laundered clothes?
You gotta fill in the gaps
Had to put in earings
Always, but that is gaps of two years
Cough, cough
You didn't sound awful before
There are plenty of other folks that take 5 photos of themeselves a day
Maybe, they do
Let it hang there
Everybody here wears black
All winter coats are black
They all want to melt, it's like camo
Fast food is a class issue in NYC
If someone could ship me a chili cheese burrito from Taco Bell
The greasy spoon with Rolls Royces parked out front
It's a friggin greasy spoon
Park it in the cross walk
The kind you want to be!!
Driver will play on his iPhone while he waits
Angel the pitbull that attacked me
What kind of tool knows the name, got attacked and puts up a flier?
Talk of the NYC rub and tug joints
I was too busy doing the farmer's daughter

Tags: betsy smith night out pink streaks farmers daughter

Season 23 Ep 02: The Penthouse, Bedazzled Shirts, Purse Selling Zombies

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 15:44:52 -0500

Show: #537
Length: 28:09
Format: mp3

I can't tell you the story off the show
There is safety on the show
A good tight story
Directors cut?
Just tell me the story
Three undred people waiting to get in . . .
And then us
Yeah, with you I don't think club with a 'K'
It looks like John Goselin fell from an airplane and exploded
All too much
The 6'8 400 lbs bouncer comes over
Failed arena football player
Heading to the penthouse party
Yes, I'll take you up right now
I don't fit at all
The head neck move dance all together
We make our way in
Turns out it is a Penthouse part
Not a penthouse party
Was TMZ there?
They see you the music stops and they ask who let this guy in
Schlumpy midwestern guy, who let him in?
I was on the of the line
Sure the Pussy Cat Dolls were doing there show
Did they say i gotta go to the bathroom
No, but they did let me know I might not get in
Leave you outside?
Yeah, but I totally understand
Gonna make it happen
I know that you know that I am impressed
You aren't making eye contact with me
We get into the VIP area
That was it
Didn't know what to do after that
Then the free drinks began
They brought out the Cristal
It was a cliche of cliches
Everyone is loving it
The AVN awards ends and the adult stars start showing up
Every Ed Hardy design was represented
Bouncers couldn't figure out who or why we were there
Let me tell you what we were doing while you were partying
I took Maggie to a craft shop
Where?
On Canal Street
Nice
Yeah, I was attacked by purse selling zombies
I would call you from hell, but not bother you from heaven
That's marriagr
The store was half empty
Right, cuz all the embroidery thread was needed for the shirts in vegas

Tags: Pure Las Vegas VIP Penthouse Party schlumpy Ed hardy

hundred year plus beard

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 19:32:09 -0500

Tags: beard plus year hundred

stored life

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 19:50:03 -0500

Tags: life stored

Season 22 Ep 08: Naperville Buh Bye, Speedy in pocket, Flying over tornados

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 14:15:12 -0400

Croncast - 2009-08-31.mp3
Show: #534
Length: 30:18
Size: 27.8 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Let the reboot begin
Still don't have the studio set up the way we would like
Whatever, don't leave a comment on the old shows
Seriously, a mummy might crawl out of your ear buds
Betsy breaks down why the shows stopped
It's the real deal
They heard the show
The offer was pulled
It pre-dated even their interest in our home
So much conflict from it we had to stop
Hard finding buyers
You guys knew all about the crazy
They didn't just call up
She furnished a transcript
Thanks to social media you can't feed the trolls offline
They knew we were in a bind
How can you be special when the whole world knows?
You're not on the inside when it's public knowledge
Enough of this crap
Picking back up where we left off . . .
Leaving Naperville
The car arrives to take us way
You can't tell that story yet
The New York story has to wait
"I am a rock star," Elliot
What do we move with - 6 suitcases
Getting on a jet plane
House hadn't closed yet
No place to live
Not a job offer
Finding new homes for dogs
Missing the four legged family members
Betsy has Swiffered her way out of the house
Grabbing Speedy
I didn't get a chance to say, "good-bye to the house."
Wasn't that weird for me
Airport hotel
I'm thinking holy shit I have nothing
I had a four bedroom house
Now I am moving across country wth 6 suitcases and a hermit crab

Tags: Naperville limousine hermit crab speedy

Structured Data: Follow-Up to Palegroove Blog Post

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 12:02:54 -0400

In the my previous post at Palegroove, "Improving your SEO with RSS in 3 easy steps," I shared some insight about how to setup your RSS feed URL's so that they are search engine friendly. After reading the post again, well, I missed explaining why search spiders like feeds so much. The answer is structured data.

PC Magazine defines structured data as, "Data that resides in fixed fields within a record or file. Relational databases and spreadsheets are examples of structured data. Contrast with unstructured data." I'm sure a future revised version will include XML or RSS ;-).

When your content is placed into feeds it has the benefit of being described by a template - structured data. It is described by elements in the feed the same as mine, CNN.com, Apple, Microsoft or anyone else with a RSS feed. RSS is the ubiquitous, defacto standard for syndication. The simplicity of RSS as a standard to describe your content's title, description, dates, content, enclosures, etc makes it a magic API for search engines, developers and database administrators. Your website doesn't do this. It is full of unstructured data.

On your site the post titles could be in a h1-6 tag, div or a legacy table cell with a style applied to it. This makes it harder for search engines to understand your content. Sure, there are insanely engineered algorithms that are in place to create associations between the content on your site and the code that is used to display it, but RSS makes it uniform and much easier for search companies to cache, categorize, rank and re-syndicate your ideas. The primary reason is that the feed describes the data types instead ot telling a browser how to display it.

So, like I said in the last post, "Treat your feeds with the same care that you do your pages," with the caveat that maybe you need to treat them better because the next iteration of the web is being built on structured data.

Tags: RSS SEO structured data feeds seo

Bundle of flowers or bale of hay?

Sat, 23 May 2009 10:05:19 -0400

I am trying to be cute here. After testing out the Google Reader Bundle feature yesterday I came to the quick conclusion that it is a step in the right direction but closer to a bale of hay than a bundle of flowers.

Do you know what goes into a bale of hay? I learned in my years of small town living . . . a 100 plus pounds of unorganized hay and two brown pieces of twine. They're heavy as hell to lift from the bailer, the machine that scrapes up the hay from the field, and only those with the patience to wear long sleeves, jeans and gloves in 90 degree heat are allowed the privilege of participating while they are fresh.

Google Reader's Bundle feature has more similarities to this analogy than I would care to admit. And, yes, when I demoed it I made sure to put on a flannel shirt, Lee jeans and some mittens - the closest thing I now own to leather workman's gloves.

So, here's what I've got for you - there's plenty of room for improvement.

People don't want whole feeds combined to make one massive feed filled with content from the highest level filter that exists, publishers. Well, maybe they do if that is all that you offer. Granular access to content isn't the Holy Grail or what is next . . . it is simply how it should be.

And besides, there have been utilities to combine feeds like this for years. Do you know any of these product names beyond Yahoo Pipes? Remembering Pipes is easy because the last time you used it you told yourself you would never do it again.

A Google Reader Bundle has a web page and a feed . . . an Atom feed, not an RSS feed. Enough said here, it needs a RSS feed. The Atom feed itself is missing critical meta data like title, description, pub date, source, feed item origin, publisher, etc.

As a publisher, my concerns about this initial release of the bundle feature are the missing RSS feed and the lack of associated meta data for the content that makes the bundle. Which begs the next question of what metric is available to know how much additional syndication my content is getting once it has entered the Google Reader Bundle ecosystem? Currently there isn't one that is publicly available and I would venture to say that not for a very long time, if ever, there will be one offered.

With some more work Google can bring new features and hopefully a full set of tools that users and publishers can both use. But in this current state it is still in an insular silo of Google user nerdom. Yes, it still is a walled garden of content, of sharing and privileged consumption. It is a bale of hay.

Tags: Google Reader Bundle RSS feeds bale of hay Atom feeds

Season 22 Ep 05: Red Streak, Hamster Flu, Wackadoos

Fri, 01 May 2009 14:03:07 -0400

Croncast - 2009-05-01.mp3
Show: #530
Length: 32:06
Size: 29.5 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Hit up Croncast and leave comment
Online they're called trolls
In the real world they're called haters
Thanks for asking people to tell you something nice
You were having a rough day
Dude's can't call you beautiful
Why are you in public without your mask on?
I ended up with a red streak on my finger
Again!
Back down the sewer drain
No care for the scrape or cut
I'll be fine
Now my finger is throbbing and swelling up
Hello, urgent care
Attacked your meat hook viciously
Everyone in their was wearing a mask
All the wackadoos think they have swine flu
Stay safe while porking
I am worried for their mental health
They could have hamster flu
We're gonna be in NYC next week
Meetup on Thursday night 6'ish not sure on location
Will share that today

Tags: lemon lime gatorade hamster flu wackadoos red streak

Think differently about RSS and its uses

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 09:18:54 -0400

It's been quite a while since I wrote a blog post and it was time to get down with the reality that some things can't be said in 140 characters or less.

Over the weekend, as some of you may of you noticed, I live photo blogged my Saturday afternoon date with Betsy and our trip to Goodwill. For me it was a time to watch Betsy as she navigated her adopted habitat and to see her operate in a way that is far from the norm in our everyday lives.

I knew this was going to be an interesting experience. Why not share it in as many ways as possible (distribution to: Flickr, Twitter, blog and RSS) with as many people as possible? One input with multiple outputs across the various Croncast audiences.

Making it happen is a lot easier than you think with email and RSS.

First. it is the camera phone that takes decent photos. Second, is the phones ability to send email with photo attachments. Third, is a place to email the photos that has an RSS feed or other API connectivity to other applications. Tons of sites like Flickr, Seesmic and Tumblr offer these and can even do some of the distribution for you. Get these three things in place and sharing your experiences in near real-time has never been easier.

Currently, it does take a little more skill to distribute the photos to Twitter. However, if you get creative you can breathe life into photos that wouldn't normally have existed after it was consumed/viewed in a photo sharing site or through an RSS reader. It is worth the effort to figure this out, it's the next stage of content distribution online.

How do I know? Google Reader shared feeds are the perfect example. Typically once someone reads a post in their reader it has reached the end of the line. But if someone shares it with Google Reader it then gets added to the individual users shared RSS feed and resyndicated. A new life for that content. The same goes for photos that end up in Flickr or a Flickr RSS feed.

In my case, live photo blogging and my ability to cast a wider net wouldn't be possible if it wasn't for the Flickr RSS feed from my account. It is the magic API that feeds (pun intended) the river of resyndication that allows me to give that new life to our content.

Here's how it goes down:

1. Upload photo from phone to Flickr with subject line used as image title
2. In the body under the photo begin with an asterisk (*) if I want the photo, title and description to be a blog post also
3. In the body under the photo begin with a carat (^) if I want the title and a link to be a tweet
4. Add both asterisk and carat (*^) for blog and twitter
5. A PHP script grabs the Flickr RSS feed and reads it for asterisks and carats every two minutes and sends the photo, title and description where it needs to go
6. If it goes to the blog the title and description will be run through a keyword generations script
7. If it goes to Twitter only the title is sent and a shortened url is created to link to the photo

What all of this does is allow me to create multiple channels of distribution that can reach the different audiences that follow us. There is a bit of overlap with multiple audience members subscribed to the same services but quite a few are not. We have the Twitter audience, the blog audience, the flickr audience and the RSS audience. We also have our podcast audience but they are not really a part of this type of delivery

Summary: Look for ways to utilize sites like Flickr as a content management portal, if even from your mobile phone, to cast a wider net across your network. Work to find that one point of contact that has the lowest threshold for allowing you to get your media and thoughts online with the ability to resyndicate your content without having to lift a finger. Well, too many fingers. And make sure that it has an RSS feed!

Tags: flickr live photo blogging RSS as API seesmic tumblr twitter

Make better RSS feeds by not making them

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 08:00:20 -0400

Did you pick the content of the RSS feeds that you are syndicating from your site right now? Or did you let your readers pick?

Within reason my guess would be that most of you answered, yes then no. I know on my sites, even this site, I would have answered the same.

The solution isn't to create more feeds. The best solution is for publishers to create no feeds at all. Let your readers make their own.

Here are a couple examples why this is a better method for content syndication than relying on your own editorial skills.

Example 1: How not to do it.

Don't get me wrong on this, CNET is offering nearly all of its content up for syndication. This is an excellent strategy to create value from older content. However, do readers really need the option of subscribing to 100 plus predefined RSS feeds? Simply, no.

Finding feeds for the topics you are interested in is difficult. The worst of it is that you can only access them individually, i.e.; you want 10 of feeds, copy and paste them one by one into your feed reader. Sounds like a party to me. If you have more skills you might use a service that rolls all of them up into one feed for you. I would guess that about three people have done this.

Why overwhelm your readers like this? And besides, it is pretty intimidating for someone new to the RSS game. Shouldn't they be able to access your content in a way that makes it relevant to them?

Example 2: How to do RSS right.

What you see above is one of two flavors of how to let your readers pick what they receive in RSS feeds. It's a simple and easy to use text input that allows readers to enter keywords and phrases that they want in their feed. There's nothing fancy, easy access to old content in the straight-forward way that RSS is delivered; updates of the newest items first and set number items in the feed, usually twenty-five.

What the second screen shot shows is the magic of thinking differently about RSS feeds. This image demonstrates what happens when someone clicks on the 'advanced' link. The reader is then given control over every aspect of the RSS feed. They choose the content, when it is delivered, how much content, in what order (none of this newest stuff first mumbo jumbo - great use for episodic content) and how many updates to get at a time.

Who is better to choose than the person doing the consuming? RSS needs to be like Burger King where a customer can have it their way.

When this concept is applied to large volumes of content the value of it increases with each new article or podcast. Imagine if you could have this type of access at the NY Times or with your local paper. Even the obits from 30 years ago are now of value again. Value to the reader and value to the publisher with ad inventory.

The future of content syndication isn't in prescriptive channels created by publishers. The future is in the subjective choices of the consumer. They neither need or want every product that you have to offer.

We need to be smarter about our syndicated content via RSS and take into consideration how to make that user experience more satisfying. Whether it is by allowing users to pick topics or order of updates, something needs to change. Why? Because it is all about attention; the premium of which is measured in subscribers, influence and the influence of those subscribers.

Tags: RSS CNET readers consumers interaction

Season 22 Ep 02: Gothar, Alaskan Nomads, Ham Ketchup Sandwich

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 11:26:05 -0400

Croncast - 2009-04-17.mp3
Show: #527
Length: 24:15
Size: 22.3 mb
Format: mp3

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Bringing it on the Friday!
That's a post, this is a post I know that I am fabulous
Helps promote the show
Give these people a chance
Then the audience swells
My kids can't sleep
More popular than Wired magazine daddy's
I can make a super sandwich
For your daughter
The ham and ketchup sandwich
Fulfilling her need "Scooby Doo Style"
That's on you
Appaloosa is where I am going
Let's count down your shiny chasing skills
Glad you can admit them
You are my little raccoon
Betsy is going to be on the Radio Shopping Show
Gotta give the back story
Rubeeen had been there to show us
Pet a lizard Sure he'll bring the salmonella to your front door
This is my favorite lizard, Gothar
Sure, he's gotta pack the lizards
It's totally worth two hundred bucks
The party phenomenon
Turn it all into a party
What kind of burner are you?
Pipeline or bust
They were on the bust side
We have a token listener in Alaska
Don't even try
Nomad in some populations, transient in our community
I was just that good

Tags: lizard food gothar alaska wired ham sandwich

Season 21 Ep 24: The Mexico Part 3

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 11:52:03 -0400

Croncast - 2009-03-30.mp3
Show: #524
Length: 41:24
Size: 38 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

When, when, when, when
This was supposed to go out Friday
Maggie has been insanely sick
What happens when you read all of these Oprah books?
It should come with a six pack of Xanax
Difficult times?
Write a book
You need to change your name to Kristina
Sending email as Kris Smith
People would respond to me as a woman<
br> So I had to make it Kristopher Smith Wait, Mr B
I have to give a shout out to Carrie, thanks for coming to my show
The Mexico Part 3 begins now
Betsy, you are at the buffet, go . . .
If I had known that they served guacamole breakfast, lunch and dinner
Standing at the buffet
A woman sidles up next to me
"What part of Canada are you from?"
I speak like that because I lived in Milwaukee for a few years
Where's that?
Wisconsin
Is that a big city?
All the push ups that you do
They could throw a rock at it
She was wearing the crocs
Then I scanned the room and it was covered in crocs
That is he face of colonialism
Later . . .
I'm the only American
What is the most expensive shit you got behind this bar?
Grand Marnier on the rocks the entire trip
Do you want to know how to cook the guacamole?
He was like a bull fighter
Super hot
Fellas watch out for this
They will whisk you wife away
The Italian says, "You mean this prison"
You must leave this compound
They will take you to the jungle
They get electricity for 2 hours a day
It is wonderful
Deciding to go deep see fishing
How did you get over the shark fear?
We were stuck at the front gate
How many signs do you need?
It was like a road block
We were there on a gift certificate
I'm thinking that this will be so nice
The authentic Mexican experience awaits
We get to the place
Sure, it would have have been authentic
But didn't the charter company name tell you all you needed to know?
Captain Rick's
It should have
Yeah, if it were Captain Ricardo's
On the boat with a Canada
They start swearing at us in Spanish
Turns out I am the only one that knows it
I kept my mouth shut
Betsy catches Dory (see photo in post)
"Chocha Grande"
How is the fish doing?
Mas muerto
They pull it back into the boat
Cut up Dory and turned her into chum
We had Captain Bicho
More protected species were caught
Chopped and chum
Chocha account is over 11 at this point
I'm the bloke, right
Don't be a chocha Mr B

Tags: Crocs Canadian Tourists The Mexico GrandMarnier

Season 21 Ep 23: The Mexico Part 2

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 14:55:13 -0400

Croncast - 2009-03-25.mp3
Show: #523
Length: 33:08
Size: 30.4 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Introducing our driver, Rueben
Pronounced Rue - been
You'll understand why shortly
We're on the homepage in iTunes podcast store
In the parenting category
You're the whip cream
I am the pie to your whip cream
Does that mean we are getting divorced?
Rueben has discussing the directions that the Montana girls gave him
Nervous like Mom telling me, "Let's go to TJ to buy school supplies"
Sterling silver bangles
Hurling off into the middle of nowhere
The jungle begins flying by
Look at that, it's great
Is it abandoned?
Right, just like central Illinois
Look at you, getting all metric
Jungle was 20 km away
Fine, how about 20 clicks?
Betsy gets scared and starts talking
The Montana girls want you shut up
Actually, it was Erasure
Luggage in my lap
Moobs are getting damp
Rueben rolled up all the windows the moment we got in
4 adult Americans and one Mexican adult
Our bodies use more energy, seriously
They throw the old road next to the new road
You might need a chunk later
It'll have the rebar in it right away
Betsy asked to see the girls' directions
Oh my, God
"OK, like this is going to be so great. Take a left I don't know where, crappy town and it has a number 4."
Betsy's rendition of this is priceless, you have to listen
Around the crappy town, around and around
Forty minutes later we're still circling the town
Weaponry was at full blaze in plenty of places
Security is tight at Goodwill but not like this
Rueben speaks three words of English - yes, no and maybe
And he doesn't know what either of them mean
Don't fly to a foreign country without the address of where you are going
If I were on this trip with Jeanie
No Mrs. and Mrs. Montana it would have been safe!
The highlight of my trip was passing the local airport
I think it's called . . .
Rueben whips around, "Nooooooooooooooooo"
We were 20 clicks from were we supposed to be in the opposite direction
He hands the directions to the armed guard
We find the joint
The girls tip him like $1.50 USD
Rueben peels out in reverse
We hit our heads on the back window
But we arrived in one piece
Colonialism is alive and well
You can't tell me that you didn't breath a sigh of relief
Happy to be alive and I need a burger
The next four days became a huge pain in the ass
Look at these awful white people and their destruction of paradise
While, asking me to rub aloe on my back

Tags: Mexico Vacation Dreams Tulum Rueben the montanas colonialism

Season 21 Ep 22: The Mexico Part 1

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 14:51:06 -0400

Croncast - 2009-03-23.mp3
Show: #522
Length: 32:12
Size: 29.6 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Back from the Mexico
This here would be part 1 of a multi-part series
This is where we take you on our vaction with us
I think I've been drinking excessively
She sweats the daiquiri
For those of you caught up, you know that we weren't around last week
We were on Betsy's Wheel of Fortune vaction to Mexico
Best part - it was free
I'll get to the parts where you nearly broke down
Props on the plastic plants you bought
Excellent investment for returning home
Growing up in a silk jungle
Dusty cornflower blue carnations
These flowers are special
They will be here forever
At some point you know that your mother-in-law will show up
Thank you for admitting that you didn't want to go with me
You can't relax for your life
Right, I can't do it
My biggest concern was the webernets close at hand
I had to have wi-fi
And your gear
One laptop, a netbook, iPhone, Treo, Camera and tons of cables
There you are a big nerd
That's just the way that it was
I don't want to take him on a vacation
What happens if you don't have them and need them?
Getting on Facebook drunk is a bad idea
They have an international speaking doctor on staff
Mayan vs Spanish vs English
He had watched 6 seasons of ER
The Swedish Slenders came up with Continental airplane designs
Hulking massive dude in the cramped seat typing on a toy computer
The women sitting behind you Mr B inspired them
They had their own "Baby Daddy Con '09"
Loose women? Is that what you are trying to say
The entire flight "My Baby Daddy..." the entire trip
The way they talked about them you would expect their baby daddies to be titans of industry
Best job I ever had was working at the shrimp hut
Needless to say that they didn't have any kids with them
Was excited she got to run cash register
Maybe in 2010 Baby Daddy Con '10 will be on your next flight
Keynote speaker will address "fertility in tough times"
If Jeanie were here
We would have started drinking and laughed at the girls
The best in flight entertainment
I am fixated on the Mayan the thing
It's a cultural thing
Continental bathrooms in the terminals, good god
I needed a ladder to get down to the urnial to pee
Not on the plane, baby
They were out to make you out to feel like 7'5
Continental "Making you feel like a big man."
Mexican customs
Betsy comes to a complete stop and follows directions
Abiding by the rules while no one else is
Move it, chocha
Chocha is now my new middle name
Why didn't we plan for a ride to resort?
Jumping on the newbies
Look, fat people on spring break
Kris gets into protection mode
We roll outside to get on your Grey Line minibus
Only two people heading in our direction
The girls from Montana
We're out there chatting for an hour as we wait
They pull up in a baja raced VW Jetta
Us and the girls pile in
The driver waits outside reading the directions the girls gave him
Twenty minutes later he gets back in the car
Little did we know what was written on that paper
If they had given to me, I would have kicked them to the curb
Find out what was on that paper on Wednesday

Tags: Mexican Vacation Dreams Tulum Baby Daddy Con daiquiri mix chocha

No show today

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 19:43:20 -0500

Hey guys, pretty sure you figured this one out but there is no show for today. Things around casa de Smith have been pretty nuts since Monday and for the immediate future it will probably continue.

With that said, you can expect a Friday show to follow Betsy's opening night at the Comedy Shrine here in Naperville. I'm sure it will follow our example of 'life is show prep'.

Tags: Comedy Shrine Naperville Besty Smith improv naperville

Season 21 Ep 9: Copies, Chicken Chutes, Cheap Divorces

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 13:02:22 -0500

Croncast - 2009-02-06.mp3
Show: #509
Length: 29:41
Size: 27.3 mb
Format: mp3

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This show brought to you by Affordable Promotions
I'm on the wellness train
Gary Shilts cheap divorces window scraper
Betsy's host read
I didn't know that you background in radio?
Your dating a of DJ
I got this gig through FFA
I wasn't gonna check chicken chutes
Feta is for farmers
Chemists making cheese
I was the hottest chick in FFA
They could break walnuts with their thighs
You know, those girls
They smelled like hog shit at school
Which farm implement to have sex in for comfort
What else are the going to do?
It laid fallow long enough
See you didn't get to do that
They would have given you the bullhorn one morning
Get your feral cat poison by the gallon. Two for one!
Corn based economy
Flat tire again
Buy wine and bottled water for earthquake
Better if it was a Croncast poster
Join the department of health
"You probably have hep c. Brought to you by Croncast.com"
We could find tons of new listeners
Small town video store All the labels were black and white
Quality of my relations was my credit

Tags: goat cheese FFA wellness train cronast ads corn based economy

Season 21 Ep 04: Shivering and Grumping, Venereal Stimulant, Life Plan

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 13:30:32 -0500

Croncast - 2009-01-21.mp3
Show: #504
Length: 24:07
Size: 22.1 mb
Format: mp3

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This show brought to you by Podiobooks.com
Of those last week and yore
Kris, I've noticed that you've gotten chilly today
My body is cuddling itself trying to keep warm
I turned off the heat to try to force you out of the house
The cold isn't bothering me
So this was part of your master plan
A cocoon of The North Face goodness
All this little spoiled babies
Kids why don't you go see your dad
Shivering and grumping
I eat like I'm a seal
Get out, see some people
Skinny folks listen up
The chubby friend gets to make the salad jokes, Not you
The fat jokes are for me
Fattitudes about the chunky
Of course they're going to order the fries
When I lost weight I felt like a spy
Listening to people talk about the people
It's not blubber, it's a 42 in waist
The size I come is thick
I'm like a cylinder
You could benefit from some manternity clothes
My tummy isn't that protrusive
With the beard I wouldn't be a venereal stimulate any longer
Your mom probably called you that
I caught from my Buick
Someone was eating donuts in my car again
It's a medical term
Life Plan '09
Credit cards are all paid off

Tags: the north face venereal stimulant manternity clothes life plan

red record

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 14:34:41 -0400

vinyl is hot these days.

Tags: days hot vinyl record red

duvel high gravity

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 14:14:09 -0400

i put away two of these on an empty stomach. can you say instantly slurred speech? they were quite tasty.

Tags: slurred speech quite tasty instantly

Thank you for letting us entertain you!

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 12:38:57 -0400

Most of you knew that we were putting the brakes on this beast, but for those of you that didn't or are catching up . . . we hit our 500th episode and are putting Croncast to bed.

We've had a great time since November of 2004 putting out shows. The rewards from doing this show are too numerous to list but the few that stand out are meeting so many great listeners and fellow podcasters through the years. You guys have shared many insights with us and let us know that our experiences aren't so dissimilar from your own.

The best part is that we aren't done creating shows!

Starting on June 27th, 2008 we will still be cranking them out 3 times a week at Life in the Can, but with a special twist. We'll also be producing a weekly episode that is the best of all three shows from that week, with a special twist.

Yep, I wrote that twice.

The weekly episode will use the previous three episodes like they were brainstorming sessions and we'll pick the best bits and re-record them. We want to push ourselves in another direction and utilize the same skills that I have used for years producing audio for clients. It's time to try something new with our own show.

For the next few months you'll be able to get the new shows through the regular Croncast RSS feeds so that you won't have to resubscribe to the new show right away, though, I'd recommend it. You'll be able to decide which of the shows you'd like to receive.

One last thing, our entire Croncast archive will remain online for the foreseeable future so that anyone can enjoy the shows.

We hope that you'll join us over at Life in the Can in a couple weeks and get your laughing fix with Betsy and Mr. B.

Thanks to you for making this so much fun!

Tags: Croncast 500 shows Kris Smith Betsy Smith Life in the Can

bmx'n boys

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 21:48:27 -0400

these are on display in the room i shared with my brother for 18 years along with our patches for being ranked number one at the end of the year for our ages in the state of illinois.

Tags: end number year ages illinois

the last one

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 21:25:24 -0400

when i was a kid the whole of this grassy expanse was littered with the rusted frames of these old Fords. this one appears to the last one to be hauled away.

Tags: old fords appears hauled frames