retriever | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

Season 24 Ep 14: The Croncast Shorty

Wed, 14 Apr 2010 09:12:38 -0500

Episode: #613 The Croncast Shorty
Length: 4:03
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

Kicking it in the San Antonio
ASPCA cat eating the bed
Not a new animal
A shitzu mouth is not cleaner than a humans mouth
The hospital people told me so
The cat watcher
Why would you want to leave NY?
Buying all of the balloons at the fair
Rickshaws pulled by dogs
That would rule
15 sexy golden retrievers
Doddering bus surfers
Old people swearing is wrong
They're too cute or too old
The comics
Partying at the G
Winning your way to the Upper East Side
Trying harder to be fabulous
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: ASPCA cat doddering bus surfer upper east side san antonio

Season 19 Ep 4: Volvo Petting Zoo, Butter Dish, The Wheel

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 08:20:21 -0600

Croncast - 2008-01-14.mp3
Show: #450
Length: 38:50
Size: 26.7mb
Format: mp3

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New intro music keeps on rolling along
Posts are the items in the site
I think you lost dad at upload
That could be the catch phrase from a nerd movie
"You had me at upload"
Having the love of a nerd is like that of a Golden Retriever
The red in their eyes
Like the bloodhounds
We'll get your's fixed someday
You can get side by side
And then I'll get you plastic surgery, the both of you
We do dis and dis, but not dis
I should have bitten his face
We took the dogs to the groomer
Changing deaf dogs name every three weeks
What does it matter?
You know what happens to 15 dogs right?
Sure, they die
No
The dog is walking around with cancer and a 13th nipple
Dog groomers should know better and look for lumps
The number one thing that gets skipped is the finger in the butt
No one wants to drain a dog
Let fail you
Betsy likens web designers with Goodwill
The two handed dog shave
Like she was swinging a bat
The last time they cut off a mole
It was like a half-dollar size
Don't feed her by hand
She wants to even the score
How many times has this dog been to the pound?
Thirteen times
Mom is nuts when we go to vet or groomer
Sure, your dog is big and he pees on your knees
When we hit the door little deaf dog freaked
I didn't realize she was that aware
Of course she is
Then my mom takes on the trauma of the dog
I know from the Dog Whisperer that is not how to act
The dog wants someone to lead
First of all, she's deaf
I want you to write that in big block letters
She needs to be drained, I can tell
Then she feels guilty for bringing in the dog
I know how this goes
Then my mom will decide to put the dog to sleep
It only has one duty . . . eat what Maggie drops
I swear Shih Tzus were designed to catch spaghetti on their head
Just do what is least invasive
Gonna put in a Jarvik .021?
In six months we'll be Shih Tzu shopping again
Your mom is the Kevorkian of the dog adoption world
I got Wheel of Fortune auditions today!!
I know you are so excited
The sounds you were making when you got the email
If I win money I'm buying a goat
This here is the only petting zoo in the entire nation delivered to you in a Volvo
Designer outlet mall parking lots would never be the same
Two dollars, don't touch my goat
You need to be comfortable
What not to do
I was freaking because I thought from your yell something was happening
Sure, like Maggie went face first into a hot stove
Nope, just The Wheel
Eeyor tells you how to overcome your fear of success PBS special
What happens when Betsy is on and knows it?
You get too over the top . . . just catch yourself and reel it in
Kris, quit with the analogies
I say this as your number one fan
I have been there for every party where you hold court
You'll be fine
Marcus hits my cart
He says, "who the hell are you?"
I ask where the butter dish is at
His reply, "Oooooooo oooooOOOO"
The manager walks up and taps me on the shoulder, "did you see that doll house?"

Tags: dollhouse Shih Tzu dog groomer butter dish Kevorkian

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 30, 2007

Fri, 30 Nov 2007 09:30:13 -0600

Croncast - 2007-11-30.mp3
Show: #440
Length: 25:32
Size: 17.5mb
Format: mp3

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Short short notes today. If you listen you'll know why.
It's Tell a Friend Friday!
Get out there and tell somebody
Even my son points out that I am allergic to lady bugs
I have to stop saying the word seriously
Costco salmon with dill
I can't take it anymore
Shout out for support to Marisa and Jason!!
Check out Jason at NCN Podcast Thank you guys so much . . . you rock!
Betsy will be breeding goats and golden retrievers
Horned and it eats all your stuff
Goriever products to follow soon
Folicular drift

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Tags: Costco Gorievers goat eyes Marisa NCN Podcast

Mr Gorgeous the gold digging retriever- husband of LDD

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 13:47:25 -0500

I like older ladies.

Tags: ldd older ladies husband retriever

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 17, 2007

Fri, 17 Aug 2007 08:45:47 -0500

Croncast - 2007-08-17.mp3
Show: #398
Length: 29:56
Size: 20.5mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 17, 2007

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I'm losing my voice again
Thanks to your children
Serves you right!
Mr. "In a minute"
Hitting refresh is not a job
Doing who is queries all day
The fact that you know what a who is query is . . . time for love love
The pitter patter of Gigi upstairs
Don't spray that in your eye
Maggie locked me in the basement
Every woman in this house locks me in the basement
Once she realizes I am on one side and she is on the other she freaks out
Daddy, daddy dadddy
I begin to stress because I hear the crying
It activates that parental thing in me
There is one way out other than crawling out
A big man in a small window
Yeah, it is like fat women and little dogs
I begin yelling for the other one to come and unlock the door
The dogs start barking
I'm screaming at the top of my lungs
I start yelling up the vents hoping Elliot would hear me
Why didn't you just stick one man titty at a time out the window and ease out
You need to get out of the house Mr. B
I really wish we could spend time together at things like the Great American Yard Sale
You could be my wing man Mr. B
Anyways, I got you
Who wants to play with plushies with you
Betsy does improv class night two
It will make me a better listener, Kris
It has brought insight into your life
I have learned what it is like to be a man
Someone will redirect you in the moment and you can move on
I just think you've got a brain like golden retriever
I don't have to be a tree at home
We should have a family game night with improv games
Oh, wait I have an idea . . . how about family HTML programming night right before dessert
The new dude walks in to class and he is a programmer
I thought you were a coder
I can smell it on your breath
What does it smell like?
Your mother's basement
It was super fun
I had a near death experience Mr. B
How does that happen when all you do is go and get coffee and hit up Goodwill
I put down the mocha latta
I'm parked next to a big shiny Lexus
Maggie freaks and I open my car door into the car
Then I see that the car is occupied
Fuck you and your fucking small car
The woman gets out of her car very slowly
I don't know what you are supposed to do in that situation
It's a Volvo, it's bullet proof, don't touch me
It gets worse
I did what any self respecting mommy would do
I lick my shirt and rub the mark off her car
She makes eye contact and says, "Stop licking my car"
My ass was grass
Get your lips off my Lexus
I had successfully removed the scratch with my magic eraser finger
I hit your car but I successfully slimed off the mark
The dust of Elk Mountain
I would get arrested for that
I know what I am going to do
I ran
I ran away from her
I picked up Maggie and ran
If she hits my car, well, it is insured
I wasn't going to wait until she popped out my eye teeth
Betsy will minimize anyone else's shit
Just because you don't care about your car doesn't mean other people don't
The Dust of Montrose
Was my greatest vacation ever
Your not helping me out Mr. B
The Great American Yard Sale has moved to a mall parking lot
Westfield shopping center won't know what hit
Welcome to camp Junk Ass
One legged box races
There are some one legged people that can gallop
I need you to help me out
I'll get there at four in the morning and it will give me a 10 minute head start
They stole my Jaguar off my hood
What it the whole point of owning the Jaguar is the stupid little shiny thing
Yeah, now it is next to some kids tee ball trophy
Dealership says none in stock
Ornament $211, labor $78 and with tax it will be about $330
Didn't you have any markings on it?
Thanks to Bernadette for this review and write up!

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Tags: Black Lexus Great American Yard Sale improv class Dust of Montrose Jaguar hood ornament

Betsy and her husband Kris May 16, 2007

Wed, 16 May 2007 07:25:07 -0500

Croncast - 2007-05-16.mp3
Show: #363
Length: 26:52
Size: 18.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris May 16, 2007

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Betsy is in selling mode and looking around all crazy
Even my Wheat Crisps from Trader Joe's is looking marketable
Elliot's got his IEP (some mumbo jumbo for meeting about your child) today
We're dropping Gigi off at her sisters so we can be childless and focus
Flyers under the shield at Wal-Mart for illegal slaughter house
Not since becoming a suburbanite have I seen a huge plunky dunky goat
They got the crazy eyes
Sitting there licking it's cloven hooves
"Moma, pet"
When goats attack
Oh, my god you have to call 911
There's a goat in front yard!
It's unusual, but a goat in your yard is an emergency
The goat hunkered down behind the cozy coupe
Could be injured and vicious
The goat had to come from the crazy farm on 87th
I'm putting goats on my front lawn
And next to that RV parking for off season parking
I'm ok with it
More people being held at Gitmo than the town I grew up in
Yeah, you are crazy Betsy
Here's the part that makes you crazy
Elliot's IEP . . . Betsy starts telling the goat story
"Guess what I saw this morning . . . a GOAT!"
We were there for 45 minutes and you told the goat story 4 times!
Elliot's special education teacher even got the goat story
In the meeting with 5 teachers she busts it out again
In the meantime Vickie's got 3 kids and a goat in her yard
It could have had babies
It could have had sex with a golden retriever and made gorievers
Animal control shows up and says it belongs to the farm
They said, "Stand back. Goats are dangerous."
I may go and apply for it, Kris
We could do a freelance goat retrieval business
I want a uniform with a patch
They wander the forest preserve
Evidently the goats freak if they hit the pavement
They go "bo honky" . . . coined by Betsy
All the neighborhood kids show up to watch
Can you imagine having a baby in you with horns?
Duct tape that fence together
"You may want to cover the children's eyes"
What did you say to Maggie?
She can't say 'goat' so she was saying 'doat'
Where's the 'doat'?
Now the environmental clean up company needs to come back and clean up pooh
The hobby farm guy doesn't want to come and get his goat
Betsy won't let me have the drink I ordered
Thanks for the call Dave about tickets for the live event . . . The Comedy Shrine will not be selling tickets for the event it is up to us to get it set up. We will have something ready by next Monday and let you know!

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Tags: escaped goat goriever cloven hooves The Comedy Shrine IEP

Betsy and her husband Kris Feb 26, 2007

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 06:51:04 -0600

Croncast - 2007-02-26.mp3
Show: #342
Length: 36:07
Size: 24.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris February 26, 2007

Betsy cranked out some more Resale Queen posts
I added a little widget that pulls you posts into Croncast
At least you can pretend
You're like my management
No I haven't seen the scissors, just the knife
Dog head collar in a homemade envelope
There's only two things shipped in that style of envelope . . . dope or anthrax
Sending packages through USPS media mail
Only books but nothing you wrote yourself
You're gonna tell me that you pay some ogre to open dirty books?
Any likeness to the real guy "One Eye" Pete is unintended
Are postal jobs hard to get?
We're not talking about Jeanie's mom
Taking disability and as a result you can have a post office job
Kris hired the crazy guy that worked at the post office
Yes, Betsy, he talked to his soup and giggled all the time
Little white guy, glasses
Yes, he had his car stolen three times a week and refused to move
He was a Vietnam Vet
Great guy
The Boulder Vet with his Duke's of Hazzard uncle Jesse look
So he was the Boulder information booth
Maybe he was on his lunch break
The FedEx people . . . I like them a lot there more laid back
Anything beyond a lobster
Did you know that you can ship 60,000 chickens through the mail
"I gotta get these chickens to Detroit in a week. Can you ship them?"
Putting the dog on the APC at the post office
Our 16 lbs. golden retriever arrives at our destination
I want that to be us
I want to be the old couple in the RV at Cracker Barrel and watch you walk our Pomeranian
Kris standing in his overalls and shiny sports jacket embroidered with "Betsy's Bitch"
My vision is you dressed super puffy cuff with a baby bjorn with the dog in it
Point of contention and Kris's car
It's what you are doing to my car
You're destroying my car
I'm just not into details
When I pull up into the resale shop in your Jag and I have to think twice about where to park it
You need to be driving the Volvo
Fancy schemlly coffee that has spilled all over in it
I'm calling you out on the show finally to make my point
I'll fill my car up tomorrow with your money
Betsy scraps with the loose cannon owner of the local gas station
He's an asshole . . . baby no he's not
Your card is no good
Crazy eBay lady just leave
I wanted to throw a donut at him
I got men to take care of
Soap, razors . . . those are expensive Mr. B
Can't you go with a single blade?
You'll get a rough more manly look
I have been converted to the more blades the better crowd
Why don't you use the power stuff?
Coming Wednesday . . . blowing a lot of dough, Kris comes clean

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Check a news post for a new RSS feed for getting archive shows on weekdays one at a time
Send us a message or comment on the blog post soon to follow with the day of your favorite show for running in March "Catch up with Croncast in 22 days"

Tags: Resale Queen blog USPS media mail FedEx people Cracker Barrel 60,000 chickens

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 29, 2007

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 07:14:36 -0600

Croncast - 2007-01-29.mp3

Show: #332
Length: 39:16
Size: 26.9mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 29, 2007

He is a golden . . . retriever . . . he brings stuff back
Zeus cannot be tricked
The noise distracts me
Genius like this takes concentration
We missed Friday's show
Kris felt depressed for a bit
It was his fault
It was a good nerd outing (spot a Kris) that was a success I talked to someone new
TECH cocktail is evolving
"My mother is in cancer treatment," attendee. Kris, podcast laugh follows
She was 4'11 and dressed like a flapper
Is she trying to start a scene
"Flappers" the movie to come
Betsy is going to continue to yawn through this
Baby, the time is right to talk about this
Once of these days I am just going to put a meat grinder on the desk
Betsy just push push push
Man, it is hard to talk about this . . . for Betsy now
I'm just gonna do it
Here's the back story
"You're going to be publicly humiliated"
1994 back in our dorm room, underage drinking and all the sudden . . .

To get the rest of this story you're gonna have to listen.

This story starts at 6:10.

Tags: Golden Retriever Volvo of Lisle Jeanie Bowen Goodwill Husband Zeus podcast laugh

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 15, 2006

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 06:59:09 -0600

Croncast - 2006-11-15.mp3

Show: #302
Length: 35:56
Size: 24.6 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris November 15, 2006

Betsy drinks a 3 day old Clausthaler
Her shirt tastes like Golden Retriever
Another fake beer night on the show
The contorted face that yacking built
Betsy's mom comes to the basement for the first time ever
Kris has things to do and they're shopping QVC online
"I live with Michael", yes we know honey
Floor length fo-fur mink
Racks full of them at Goodwill
Betsy blushes through the entire story
It is such a thoughtful design
There is nothing that is fashionable with work 'reverse' in it
What a year? I'll buy it on eBay
Her mom already bought it from the TV version of QVC
Betsy's eBay skills
Crazed lunatics . . . oh the madness of the bargain gene
"I . . . I . . . IIIIIII . . . I have a shopping disease Mr. Puffy Cuffs," Betsy
Betsy is going to make my own Puffy Cuff shirts now
We finish each other's sentence
Kris is hanging in the car eating Arby's while Betsy shops Goodwill
Now it is time for Kris's madness
Walking out with a gigantic store credit
Microphone fiasco
Shut up, I'm having my little moment of I told you so!
Betsy unloads
Was a bit late since Kris already has reached his rock bottom
I'll be in San Francisco this Saturday for PodCamp West
Maggie has pre-school next year
Looking in the mirror and husbandry responses
Let me tell the people what I got at Goodwill today
Baby you just need me to be honest . . . an honest Mr. B
Kris, you gave me a wrinkle . . . look at this side of my lip
$100 bucks from Anonymous for the kids

Tags: Clausthaler QVC Coats for plus size Puffy Cuffs shopping rock bottom Goodwill toys

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 16, 2006

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 06:37:13 -0500

Croncast - 2006-08-16.mp3

Show: #263
Length: 33:33
Size: 23.0 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris August 16, 2006

1) Fill out the appropriate form for you - *New* Listener or Get a Handle (current listener)
2) Verify your email address (Activates and qualifies those with a "Handle")
3) *New* listeners get activated and qualified by using their special RSS feed
4) 300th new listener and the person whose Handle they use win iPods AND
5) A drawing for 2 more iPods from everyone who entered!

As you can see by the graphic and the stuff on the site we are starting the 300 by 300th listener drive and contest today. I am in a huge hurry so I can't say more now.

Listen to that sweet new voice "Welcome to Palegroove Studios"
The long intro with email addresses in it
Kris welcomes the new people and talks more about the 300 by 300th
Betsy says that she wants "thesmithmall" as a Handle
Sometimes she goes to sites and it is taken
As of this morning 9 people
Betsy says that the Easter bunny gives out iPods
Betsy wants to change the dog's name to Mack
He needs propecia on his belly
They are confusing his gender by calling him "she"
He can't walk on stairs
Slowsky now has a mascot, Zeus
The seats are a Golden Retriever width apart
He touches the seats and it makes Betsy feel good
Betsy says the dog doesn't pee in the house . . . lie!
He pees on me
Not in fear pee but I am soooo happy pee
Let me pee on your shoes
Betsy gets attacked by Zeus
Chubby then thin chubby then thin pregnant and chubby chubby and thin
Betsy has a rip in her skin
Betsy took the dog to the vet today
My anniversary gift was a clean garage . . . all set on the side of the house and bee infested
Betsy sacrificed to the Gods for The Great American Garage Sale
It was time to clean the garage
Betsy was finally sick of it after 2 years
So Betsy says it is the hookup
Goodwill is getting picky about what it is taking
We're not gonna take that crap even if it was bought here
No hassles about the quality
Betsy charges the gate and then just drives in
"No Entrance" sign doesn't mean anything to Betsy
"Are you really gonna turn away more stuff"
This is going to be me in 40 years
These are Betsy's people
Betsy says they were like carnies and I reminded her that I told her that already
Over the big stuff on eBay and the great american garage sale messes that up
Betsy's mom told her that last year that "a pack of gypsies were working the purses last year"
Sleeping in the parking lot
Getting clocked with a Gucci by a gypsy
In their own gyspsy conversion van with Fendi's flying out the back
Kris has a revelation
Glistening from his rearview mirror
Kris realizes that he knows nothing, really
Who am I to kid?
Vets are not doctors
The best vet waiting room story ensues

Tags: The Great American Garage Sale Goodwill eBay thesmithmall gyspies