sad | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

Season 20 Ep 23: Cotton Candy Salad, Keep the Archive Alive

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 12:19:01 -0500

Croncast - 2008-06-13.mp3
Show: #498
Length: 25:41
Size: 17.6mb
Format: mp3

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Keep the Archive Alive Suport - Send your's today!
Thanks to Jen Stibi for Keeping the Archive Alive
We Jen upheaved and happy at work
Here's a podcast hug for you
You can't miss the banner
It's another Friday the 13th show
I wouldn't get out of this set of shows without it
Many, many things are going wrong today
How can you be freaked out about today?
Yesterday should have done it for you
Glad to be getting to the expert level
I didn't say it like that
Oh, really
Well, I don't know
Let me ask Betsy
That should be my motto
The common sense psychic
He told you it was Father's Day this weekend
Kris is happy in his squirrel nest downstairs
Keeping it as a secret
Having a surprise party
Betsy's Blue Mountain Alerts
I knew we were being invited to a jamboree
Waldorf salad vs. apple salad
Some might say they are the same
Like the hotel?
They wouldn't think hotel
I gotta be nice
You can do that, you know Improv
Not sure you can pull it off
Raised in a hamster cage
Not sure the kids can pull it off
Elliot might not be able to get passed grams smoking in the backyard
Don't get uppity, you're ignorant
It's pronounced "ig-nernt"
You shouldn't talk about that
What is your practice face?
You are a sad, sad human being
Making a new dessert - cotton candy salad
Did you try that new spicy chicken sandwich at Wednesday?
Diet and the correlation between behavior
Doctors can't fully help you
Why?
They have businesses to run
It is the truth
They are just people who need jobs
He'll eat it, it has apples in it

Tags: apple salad common sense cotton candy salad squirrel nest

Season 20 Ep 22: Sunny World, Community Improv, Archive Alive

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 15:52:05 -0500

Croncast - 2008-06-11.mp3
Show: #497
Length: 29:51
Size: 20.5 mb
Format: mp3

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What was that?
Keep the Archive Alive?
Yes, it was
Support future listeners and the new show by sending support
How?
The banner above
Let's keep it trucking along by supporting the past
That is, the past, for the future

Tags: show name sad portraits grandma's glamour hard and shiny

Season 19 Ep 20: Ant Races, Co-working, Apologies

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 14:56:49 -0600

Croncast - 2008-03-03.mp3
Show: #467
Length: 18:12
Size: 12.6mb
Format: mp3

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Man!
First off, apologies for not getting the shows last week out.
We are close to reaching a stasis in our lives
Balance is needed so that we can get the shows out on time and back into our routine
Oh, boy
Little tension here
I am really interested in co-working type of setup
Rooms for rent
That isn't the same
What do you need space for?
What people like about co-working aspect is similarity
We got stuff in common
I don't want a cubicle
I used to spray paint when I was a kid
Ant races

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

Tags: spraypaint colored ants saddles website building apologies

Season 19 Ep 11: Walzer A., Buffalo Days, The Coffee Drinker

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 10:51:22 -0600

Croncast - 2008-02-01.mp3
Show: #457
Length: 26:13
Size: 18.1mb
Format: mp3

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The Resale Queen Podcast is now here!
Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

About the Wednesday show
We were recording and the phone was ringing off the hook
Call from Walzer A
So this is Wednesday's show
Yeah, it was your sister calling
Brother-in-law lost his job
And the three mother hens showed up at his house
I did not envy him at all
It is getting more and more crowded in this boat
Your mom told you that you need to take care of this
I couldn't think of a more depressing situation
I wouldn't have come home
I would have went out at 8 am and got a beer
Where? This isn't Milwaukee
I would have waited that shit out
You are telling me that I am a born leader
I was telling myself that I glad you all weren't here
This is how it goes down in my dysfunctional family
My entire life I have had to be the man
What?
You shoveled in the middle in a snow storm
You can't even tell you shoveled
Doing it repeatedly doesn't make sense
At 4:30 am our neighbor fired up his snow blower
Ridiculous
Some men wake up with motivation, Kris
What would you do if it were a chainsaw?
Then he started cutting down trees
Well, hell he was motivated
Oh, baby
I tossed pup pup in a snowbank
What for?
To send to the TV station
Are you serious?
Well, I did send it
The auto response email was "Thanks for sending to KABC 7 Los Angeles"
Your snowy dog will be on in LA
You dogs suck
Jorge would be restricted to humane society
Ass end up in a garbage can
That is what we should have called the Resale Queen show
Yesterday, I almost slipped and died
Good things that dumpsters are heavy
How come they don't shovel by them?
I am going to open Dumpster Land
A theme park for you and your people
The dangers that you face everyday
It can't be packing peanuts
There is no Calvin pissing on nothing
What stickers would the truck have?
Did the new trucks ever roll out to La Moille?
I though i shouldn't ask because it would be sad
There was a time that they did come out
No one can tie a knot in this town
Ending up in the county jail
Swanson's baby
Onions in the peas
They came to town for Buffalo Days
The quaint small town festivals in movies, lies
There's no tax base to support that
Basketball game in a gravel pit
I grew up across from a buffalo pasture
Did you ride buffalo instead of ponies?
Did they chain them to a claw foot tub to slow them down?
From kindergarten to graduation at 14
Let me run the tilt-a-whirl
I would be right there
Ending up with a corn cob in his bibs
Might be dangerous but in a small town that's fun
Being pulled on sled behind cars
Watching the console in a lawn chair
I have sat in the back of a Chevy and bounced across fields
We didn't do donuts in a Wal Mart parking lot
It was a small town
Ok, K-Mart
That would have been a 30 mile commute
I know you rode in the back of a pickup truck on the way to a K-Mart
Yes, I did
CB radios in those days, figuring out who the coffee drinker was
Your mom would have a handle

View Kris's resume or download it

Tags: buffalo snowy dog LaMoille Resale Queen sledding

Season 19 Ep 3: Wheel of Fortune, Mailmen, Mrs. Coach

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 08:56:44 -0600

Croncast - 2008-01-11.mp3
Show: #449
Length: 28:23
Size: 19.5mb
Format: mp3

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Leave us a comment anytime
After reading the comments I am starting to feel sad
Kris, don't feel sad . . . you'll change your mind
Real reasons
We just do it, it's become part of our day
We've become part of that
It's like a radio station
And they are playing Rod Stewart
What? Kris you have lost your mind
Would you rather I say Nazareth "Hair of the Dog"?
What are you talking about?
You should pre-screen your thoughts
Like a celebrity does
Wive's would love these things
Coming back from the long break
Saying things as opposed to telling stories
It was your birthday it made for a weird show
I have to go to the bank
I noticed you didn't buy your own cake
Yes, I needed to step it up and buy one
The bank was a ruse
Turns out the cake was frozen
Much like you
I couldn't really cut it
I told the kids it was an ice cream cake
I forgot to buy candles
Yeah, you made me blow out a lighter
It wasn't just a Bic
This is why being married to you is difficult
You should just say what I think
Kris starts telling Elliot about the lighter
All I can think is shut up, idiot
He doesn't need to know that stuff
I thought about the house burning down
You gotta pull the thing back and click
Mr B. I am so worried about the Wheel of Fortune audition
What am I going to wear?
What am I going to do with my hair?
I think you are projecting a bit
I am going to start combing my eyebrows over my forehead
I hit 33 and my eyebrows are out of control
Big eyebrows are creepy
I didn't say mono-brow
You think the producers are looking for middle America
A mom with pizzaz
I'm not sure I buy that
Maybe you should watch the show
Men wear suits . . . the same on that they wear to funerals and weddings
All the women wear pins
That reminds me of the coach story when you were helping Andy shop
Leave it up to your mom
She'll just buy it off QVC for you
The UPS man, the mail man and the garbage man all have our numbers
QVC delivered twice a day around here
The mail man knows everything that goes on in your life
She's got QVC on the tv and the laptop
The guy from the Queer Eye show is on, she yells
We wake up every Wednesday morning to breaking glass
The garbage man hates us
The QVC bags all end up scattered around the cul de sac
When I was a kid we got the neighbors mail for a week
I knew that he wasn't paying his bills
Water is a luxury
He spent all of his money on Jaguars and software
Baby, you got unfinished projects everywhere
It's typically the man
Feigning the CWI to watch prison shows
It was a very serious sledding injury
I can wear chest pads
Keeping up with the IRS
Just one of those things
Monday you be blinded by my bespangled sweater and snow man pin
I need to seem charming and wholesome
Don't tell them about the podcast
I already did
Well then you need to be yourself
Jeanie said I won't be funny in a pant suit
I disagree you would look very funny in a pant suit

Tags: Nazareth QVC Rod Stuart Wheel of Fortune Mrs. Coach

We're Back. Yes we are. Part 2

Mon, 07 Jan 2008 17:53:32 -0600

We're back with what we are calling 'Season 4'. It's completely arbitrary since we have never had another 'season'. They've all been Croncast!

For those of you that have listened to today's show or read the show notes, the following won't be a surprise - Betsy and I have made the decision that we will be ending Croncast when we hit the 500 show mark in a few months. The 500th Croncast will happen sometime in late April or early May.

Don't be sad! That is 50 more shows. More than most podcasters ever produce.

For the last two weeks we have been discussing our options with the show format and frequency and it seemed to make sense to us to move forward the same way that we have for the last few years. This way the chemistry stays intact and at the end of the run we've got a cohesive library of work.

So for the next few months we'll be here like clockwork every Monday, Wednesday and Friday like usual but once we hit 500 the lights will go dark on Croncast as we know it.

Our goal is to make the next fifty shows some of the best that we've ever done. We don't want to fade away or end on a sour note. We want it to be the the same Croncast that we all enjoy, you and us.

What's next?

Starting Saturday, January 19th we will begin releasing The Resale Queen Podcast. Each week the show will focus on a couple of topics that make Betsy's resale world go round and how they might help anybody with a resale gene become a better junker or clean that newest find for sale on eBay.

I'll be co-hosting with Betsy and acting as her manager. Somebody's got to make sure she records a show each week!

We'd like to thank you for supporting us, listening to the shows and making us a part of your lives. Cheers!

Tags: resale Croncast Resale Queen podcast

McDonald's TV Commercial song Cha Cha Slide

Sat, 05 Jan 2008 08:57:00 -0600

It is shameful. I am a thirty-three year old father of a seven and two year old and I am writing this post.

That is my rationalization for how this McDonald's commercial got me hooked. The kids have it in DVR saved shows and I've seen it a at least 300 times in the last two months.

Corporate America you win on this one! You got to my juicy fruit-filled center, as a starving grizzly bear might call it. It's sappy and sad but damn if I don't love this commercial!

I like it so much I had to find it online and the song from the commercial for the kids, ahem. The artist is DJ Casper or Mr C depending on the sources I found and the song is called "Cha Cha Slide".

More than you wanted to know but I'm ok with that.

Tags: McDonalds DJ Casper Mr C Cha Cha Slide commercial songs

Stepping out of Room 214 into the hallway

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 09:49:34 -0500

In January of this year I took the position, VP, New Media with Room 214, an internet and search engine marketing company. I brought with me Castlock, the podcasting and rss metrics platform that I developed in early 2006.

This was an exciting opportunity. I had built a solid relationship with the founders of the company over the previous year working closely with them to produce podcasting and new media campaigns for the Alltel Racing podcast (NASCAR driver Ryan Newman), four podcasts for NFL Pro Bowl players during 2006 season and many other client podcasts; all the while holding a position as Associate Director, e-Learning for another company. Many of you might remember us talking about this last January.

The last ten months working for Room 214 have been great, but the time has come for all of us to move on.

What will I do now?

I'm not sure. But I do have quite a few options . . . probably more than I realize. There are a couple that leading the pack right now.

My first option is to make sure my resume is up to the task of assisting me gain new full-time employment. It is pretty amazing how over the last three years podcasting and rss have transitioned to "new media" and are being welcomed into the corporate structure. All that bickering about every company being a media company seems to be coming true!

My second option is to put more energy into my podcast production company, Palegroove Studios, and get back in the saddle for podcast production, consulting and licensing of Castlock. When I started with Room 214 I put it on the back burner since I was doing the same work as my "day job".

My third option, and least viable as a solution, is to go all out Croncast. I would love nothing more than to be doing the show full time and bring video into the mix but this doesn't seem to be the right time.

That's it, that is what's been up around here.

Like any time of transition this is an interesting and exciting time. I am already wondering which path I will end up going down and where the choice(s) that I make will lead my family next.

If you've got any thoughts send them to me from the contact page, email kris[at]croncast.com or send them the old fashioned way and give me a call on my GrandCentral line (thanks Rick!) at 630.445.1719.

Update: I should have added this the first time around (it was in the show notes from Monday!)

Feel freed to check out my Linkedin Profile

Tags: Kris Smith Room 214 VP, New Media Palegroove Castlock

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 05, 2007

Fri, 05 Oct 2007 09:24:12 -0500
Croncast - 2007-10-05.mp3
Show: #418
Length: 30:21
Size: 20.8mb
Format: mp3
Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 05, 2007

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

It's TFF . . . Tell a Friend Friday
Here's what we got going on
Tons of comments coming in
Today will not be typical show . . . we're reading comments
Lots of entries in my haphazard Google contest
Finding the ones that were for the contest were hard
Now we need to figure out who the hell these people are
Not like your legs are broken
Just your Jaguar
It is the saddest looking thing
Tags are expired, hood ornament torn off, license plate holder Magic Erasered and leaking oil
Did I mention I haven't driven it for about 3 months?
The voting at Blogger's Choice Awards is difficult
Thanks to everyone who visited
We're gonna read the comments and contest entries
Comment - You parents can find you if they want.
Saggy Balls 101 wants to party
Comment - No need for video
He's a purist, like a biker
I would do it as a three camera shoot
5 minute wrap up of week
Comment - The karma comment
I full well expect it
Since I didn't swallow the scope I am not on same page
After they listen to about 3 of these shows, guaranteed
We've had this discussion
Bottom line, I expect it and would respect their decision
Keeping grammy close enough to make things normal
You never cared about me
Let's move on before we bore everyone
Comment - Curl that gun hand into a fist
Comment - Kid getting picked on
Same thing that they were doing already
Mob of gigantic kids jacked up Captain Crunch and Cartoon Network
While he is eating his Kix and watching PBS Sprout
Not to say that my kids are any different
You were picked on as a kids too
Yeah, it made me funnier
Hope your kids use it as material later
When I wrote it on my folder I meant it
Grunge stick figures
You're psycho
Move forward please
Our whole meeting . . . there were many times
I would have caught you slow driving in front of my house
Lesson in beatup karma
The pom-pom squad is not the delicate flowers
Doubt there was delicate flower that hadn't been had in your school
Vickie got her ass kicked by this girl
What brought this on? I know you sister
I'm not saying that it was provoked
My parents came together and went to school
Vickie is now planning class reunion
She gets a hunk of the class list
I tried to find the girl . . . but couldn't after her last arrest
She was offering sexual favors at the court house to pay her tickets
Attorney's are perfect
There is no client, paternity privaleg
Comment - When exactly were you two cool?
Part of my psychosis thinking I have been cool since birth
Probably a social disorder
I proved that I am not cool by taking you to nerd convention
Elbow deep in the back of a goat
Don't you remember goat cervix bangles?
I invented those
My dad was on Montel
And my baby sitter was Cindy Crawford
People have know me for 20-30 minutes before I tell them
We both have a lot of self-confidence
We went through crazy shit together
Captain of the pom-pom squad is not cool
Maybe in Sycamore
They went to drink out of the cow tank

Contest entries - if anyone of these is yours leave a comment with your email and I will get back to you to get your address for stickers

We read all of these on the show and tell some stories in between

1) croncast geek star kris and smoking Betsy are you still doing that? How are you going to locate a winner? by name? Robert
2) kris smith a man who can survive betsy
3) kris smith a man who gets locked in the basement by his loveing family
4) kris smith living the dream in naperville
5) croncast rockin to van halen
6) kris, this is your mom, I have a knife to send to maggie! give me your address!
7) worm farm sex
8) croncast betsy cow print
9) croncast betsy loves dawn
10) croncast Kris -"How are you going to know who submits the search?" -Kore Peterson -"The first to leave a comment for you via google."
11) croncast Kris get out of the basement and live life
12) croncast Kris loves John Elway Dodge
13) pics of sweet ASS street racing cars
14) betsy hates blue hair death to dawn
15) kris, out of puffy cuff goodle ideas
16) puffy cuffs are sexy
17) nerd bearded kris
18) +croncast Leave the comedy to Betsy
19) (kris betsy croncast) -"The blubbery bald bear's brawny baby batter befouled the bountiful, bodacious, bouncing boobies of betsy"

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
Look for the graphic on "Audience Survey" on the main page

STICKERS!
Here's what it will look like . . . inside the red area with rounded corners
To get your sticker send $2.00 support from the site or get 3 stickers for $5.00

Tags: Cartoon Network Magic Eraser TFF Evo Terra goat cervix bangles

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 15, 2007

Mon, 15 Jan 2007 06:54:42 -0600
Croncast - 2007-01-15.mp3
Show: #327
Length: 29:45
Size: 20.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 15, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by Daniel Broad.
Daniel may be trying to kill me
"Tomorrow, your close call with crumpets," Betsy
The audio fidelity of Croncast
I'm a free man
No more corporate job
Now I can talk all the shit I want about my office mates . . . Betsy, Elliot, Gigi
And since you're my wife no sexual harassment suits
But if you keep up with the broken monitor thing
You go this geek cry baby phase
The water cooler moment
I hope this isn't how our conversations aren't going to be
Today starts podcasting job full time
Where did that weird conversation guy go
The new monitor screen is brighter than the sun
This monitor makes Kris happy
The screen real estate . . .
It is shooting geek happy rays from the screen
Gateway is working to chemically alter nerds
Elliot vs. the salmon
Kris, "Maybe tomorrow we can look for salmon flavored candy . . . salmon flavored yogurt."
Elliot, "I am going to puke."
Vomitus a lotus commences
Fish floater story
Do fish really have floaters
I never did eat the brussel sprouts as a kid
The sound of the electric knife
That is how I knew it was time to eat at Grandma's during the holidays
Betsy is sick and so are the kids
The foreigners are trying to kill me
That four letter word that starts with 's' that drives Betsy . . . sale
Betsy can't find a sales person
The bar stool dance
Now the German chocolatier are after Kris
Choked with a Riesen chocolate
Pluses of being a chubster, strong throat hole
Evidently I hadn't been breathing for a bit
Sunday night is back for HBO with Rome

Tags: Elliot vs. salmon screen real estate fish floater Riesen candy Rome on HBO

Final Handle Moxie numbers

Fri, 10 Nov 2006 21:25:33 -0600
That's it. That's all. But Philip asked to see the final numbers for the Handle Moxie . . . good idea. Statistically the contest was nearly a dead heat for chances to be victorious with the winner Tom from Webfeed Central.

Thanks to all of you who participated and signed up for a Handle and spread the good karma.

Final Handle Moxie

Handle Peeps

webfeed
87

PhilipZ
86

gizmo
23

tinaseamonster
11

Rheba
7

MelSullivan
7

sommer
6

DollyDagger
6

triad
6

bwitt
6

Bert
5

ShawnMilo
5

Mommymack
4

Garrick
4

cemseller
4

Mike
3

JamPod
3

kidswifeworklife
3

JuanBadHombre
3

NCN
3

Cheesenub
3

BASSMAN
3

lynanne
2

theheat
2

Frick
2

LisaLisa
2

podfink
2

Harold
2

RVCMathGuy
2

LauraO
2

SueBdynamo
2

GoldCoaster
2

OneMan
1

tripper
1

HiroZed
1

flack
1

QueenoftheDamned
1

Mohan
1

UUmike
1

agile
1

ladyj
1

mamaloo
1

admeyer
1

Buzzed
1

cohnjoyne
1

auntie_m
1

Sean
1

Abbi
1

sacwho
1

handler
1

Joggl
1

themaskedpeanut
1

HeyAnne
1

SadieGirl
1

regolith
1

srccoder
1

Hendeeillus
1

MichaelB
1

macs_rule
1

dharrisidiot
1

thetitaniumspork
1

madmari
1

acavert
1

Jodi
1

landisimo
1

StillPissed@Yoko
1

carynw
1

parz
1

hoper
1

Tags: 300 by 300th Croncast iPod contest Betsy Smith Kris Smith

Final Handle Moxie
Handle	Peeps
webfeed	87
PhilipZ	86
gizmo	23
tinaseamonster	11
Rheba	7
MelSullivan	7
sommer	6
DollyDagger	6
triad	6
bwitt	6
Bert	5
ShawnMilo	5
Mommymack	4
Garrick	4
cemseller	4
Mike	3
JamPod	3
kidswifeworklife	3
JuanBadHombre	3
NCN	3
Cheesenub	3
BASSMAN	3
lynanne	2
theheat	2
Frick	2
LisaLisa	2
podfink	2
Harold	2
RVCMathGuy	2
LauraO	2
SueBdynamo	2
GoldCoaster	2
OneMan	1
tripper	1
HiroZed	1
flack	1
QueenoftheDamned	1
Mohan	1
UUmike	1
agile	1
ladyj	1
mamaloo	1
admeyer	1
Buzzed	1
cohnjoyne	1
auntie_m	1
Sean	1
Abbi	1
sacwho	1
handler	1
Joggl	1
themaskedpeanut	1
HeyAnne	1
SadieGirl	1
regolith	1
srccoder	1
Hendeeillus	1
MichaelB	1
macs_rule	1
dharrisidiot	1
thetitaniumspork	1
madmari	1
acavert	1
Jodi	1
landisimo	1
StillPissed@Yoko	1
carynw	1
parz	1
hoper	1