sears | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

Season 19 Ep 28: Caterpillar Eyebrows, Good Cop Bad Cop

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 09:56:37 -0500

Croncast - 2008-04-02.mp3
Show: #475
Length: 29:23
Size: 20.2 mb
Format: mp3

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Butterfly eyebrows vs. Caterpillar Eyebrows
Like a monarch flying to Mexico
I got invited to the beard appreciation group on flickr
Oh, no Mr B
I thought it was a manly man thing
Yes, it was very manly
Betsy, you have to quit calling me 'Bears'
Please, call the people off
My queer friends, help me
It's not so bad Kris
If you loose you job we could wrap you in
We could cover your moob nipples and sell photos
It's like telling people your whole life Kris with a k
And everyone thinks you are a chick
You should let this slide
Every 5 minutes you are making another joke
I am uncomfortable with being hit on
If the strippers were hitting on me you would be freaking
There are bear strippers
Baby
I need to shave off my goatee
You dress like you are twelve
I'm not talking to you
I don't remember this story
How would he know?
Wearing the wrong size of pants
It was your fault, Betsy
You bought my pants
My needs were beyond Merona brand
The Sears catalog isn't something special
Betsy you are fighting with me instead of telling a story
Yes you are
No I'm not
Yes you are
You didn't tell a story
I'll tell a story
This is why we don't have passports . . .

Tags: Merona Target bears irs cops sears catalog

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 16, 2007

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 07:56:06 -0500

Croncast - 2007-07-16.mp3
Show: #387
Length: 16:37
Size: 11.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 16, 2007

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The morning be "one of those" already! I gotta roll out to work so there will be a lack of full show notes. Here's five notes to sum it up.

Betsy has had the kids by herself for a week at this point
Crazy Betsy's fantasy about a need to drive to Colorado again
Speaking to your child repetitively to get there attention
The movers show up with new appliances and shame Kris' manliness
Firemen with axes and condoms on their belts

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Tags: sony vaio sears kenmore appliances Goodwill illinois resale shops

Betsy and her husband Kris May 21, 2007

Mon, 21 May 2007 07:09:50 -0500

Croncast - 2007-05-21.mp3
Show: #365
Length: 33:43
Size: 23.1mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris May 21, 2007

Tickets are on sale now for the live show . . . get your's or find out more
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New intro/outro music . . . something from 2005 that I never used
Think of it as looking into a pool of water
I'll ask the audience to do the intro with me at the live show
You are pure saccharine Mr B
I'm the guy that the ladies date and I tell them I'm gonna marry them
Was Elliot born when I was making pizzas at the gas station?
What was that timeline?
Then you started making pizzas
Wasn't even in a place where I could get a job at a gas station
You want me clap for you because you are making pizzas at a gas station?
Motivation for really moving on . . . being called a loser
"I just want a job working with computers"
And look at me now!
Yeah, your forehead has burn in
That was one crazy time in our lives
I like how you set me up tonight
Oh, yeah the cell phone message
The IRS is finally coming?
Nope it's an invite to hang with Kris's family
Oh, you are such a drama . . .
I didn't say it . . . you are putting words in my mouth
That makes you a bad person Betsy
That is really unfair
I was expecting you to just hang not even listen
But yet the social worker in you piqued it's interest and you had to listen
If you want to go, Kris, it is fine with me
Asked the man if he wanted to see where his dad grew up
I know how this plays out
"We can take pictures"
The corvette will rumble out of the garage
The part of Kris that wants to trust them will come out
The Sopranos and my life
You are talking about your mother
Oh, god . . . somebody fast forward
If you need help . . . go and get it!
Setting boundaries is a good thing
Yeah, I have "sucker" written all over me
And second, if you family wasn't the way that it was we wouldn't be together
The muted male point of view of what happened in his life
I was born, I had sex for the first time at 13, I graduated from high school
The start of the first time I touched something
I had the skateboard from Sears
It was a fat one, not that thin shit
So you were now riding that around in the gravel
Interesting happening on your Route 34 45 mile long garage sale
We lived at the Lake Holiday not Sandwhich
That is a long way for garage sales
I do have to think ahead
The don't have anything post-WWF
Everything is so cheap
Mark those free and put them at the end of the driveway
You are going to attend event
My cellphone is at the bottom of my purse under dirty diapers and crackers
OK daddy I'm not going off the path
ADHD under control through bugs
Our grill that caught fire is taken for salvage by brother-in-law's pops
Oh will I miss last summer's fiasco reminder to clean our grill
Kris will get rid of it
Taking pictures of ourselves . . . shit, we are fat
It was that point of looking at them and realizing that those people are us
We can't take pictures of ourselves at any angle
I look like a grizzly bear trying to hump a rabbit
My stomach doesn't stick out that far . . . no, it's real . . . it does
In that photo she's lifting up my shirt
There is no plus that can come of it

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Tags: Lake Holiday Route 34 garage sales Croncast Live post WWF corvette

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 13, 2006

Mon, 13 Nov 2006 07:07:29 -0600

Croncast - 2006-11-13.mp3

Show: #301
Length: 33:02
Size: 22.6 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris November 13, 2006

Sending email and comments by sharing
It's your birthday Kris . . . how about some home repairs
My osteoporosis kicks in and dust flies from my lungs
Listening to eat Bears is like listening to a one man band
He's not hot he's geriatric
Digging through saggy skin to find
Betsy, are you one to be talking about that
Fake beer night on the Croncast
Betsy is drinking Clausthauer and I have the Beck's N/A
You were late for your own party Kris!
What about your gifts? Shampoo is a winner
What is going to happen when Betsy reaches 31 in two months?
The wonderful thing is that you'll always be older Mr. B
Betsy is a vicious ageist Cycling through topics
A rehash of the making it to 300 and doing shows everyday
Filling our lives with craziness again for donations
Not like the NPR $1 million bounty for Morning Edition
Even the Germans are in on this one
Concerns about the donations
Slowsky at the dealership
She sits like the Sears tower in Nebraska
Betsy admits to being a conservative . . . in some cases
She may be a moderate now
Voting your conscience and not your tax dollars
The bathroom is falling apart today, see above photo
So happy birthday Mr. B now fix the house
The plan: we will be taking off the month of March 2007

Tags: Kris Smith birthday Clausthauer Beck's NA Slowsky Weight Watchers

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 03, 2006

Mon, 03 Jul 2006 08:20:54 -0500

Croncast - 2006-07-03.mp3

Show: #244
Length: 44:36
Size: 30.6 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris July 03, 2006

I blew it on this show . . . our guest Carla has super low volume. Why? Well, the head technician sort of didn't check her mic and it was turned around. You can still hear her but quietly.

Besty continues to mock me through the intro
Betsy intros her special friend Carla
The conversion van story to come
And the true story of the home made BMX trailer
The halloween that Betsy and Carla played cruise ship ladies
Talking the Uplander way
Bedazzled sweat suits
BCBG will be carrying them soon
Sunday night is HBO night
We break down the reason why we turned it down
Carla's just catching up
The Slowsky update
Carla can't believe that Betsy bought her
Betsy wants to wrap her arms around it's big grill
Then Kris makes a Nell Carter references
Broken piece of wood that Jared said would not need to be replaced . . . needs to replaced
Slowsky will look like roller rink inside
Betsy wants to tear out the carpet in the van and pergo it
Carla refuses to ride in Slowsky now
The conversion van story begins with BMX references
My brother raced his big wheel
Building the DIY trailer from shelving units and plywood
BMX boys stenciled on the side of it
It is now full of feral cats
Uber skanks of today bow down . . . Kris was there before you
Finding porn in the van at 12 and figuring that I couldn't get out of the van with it
Sears sold conversion van parts back in 1986
Purple plush valure seats with purple carpet
The sweet ass candy apple paint job with a tan racing stripe
Googling the BMX stats from the 1980's
Chop from King of Cars . . . Betsy thinks he's hot
Betsy really thinks he's hot. I got competition
She really doesn't want the moldy rose
Betsy makes a correction from a previous story at request of story subject
What not to wear couples
Betsy needs to be on the show
The amount of money that Betsy spends at Goodwill and stuff she could shop at Von Maur
Kris is a therapist

Tags: conversion van Carla BMX King of Cars feral cats

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 156

Mon, 06 Mar 2006 07:30:01 -0600

Croncast - 2006-03-06.mp3

Show: #200
Length: 11:37
Size: 7.9 mb
Format: mp3

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 156

Show Notes

It's a Monday show but a short one, you'll hear why very quickly.

Gie Gie has a fever
Tossing Kris's watch
Massive emergencies
Betsy would take the kids out in a tornado
Having kids
Jumping off the Sears Tower on to a bed of nails
Betsy gives a garage sale update

Tags: betsy kris croncast gie kids

Croncast - Richie and his friend Kris Ep. 1

Wed, 08 Dec 2004 10:15:03 -0600

Croncast - 2004-12-08.mp3

Length: 55:16
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64k
Size: 25.3 mb

Croncast - Richie and his friend Kris Ep. 1. Today's guest is Richie Carey from www.careyinternet.com. We talk about using blogs for business solutions from small to large to engage customers. Of course that is the intended focus but the meandering began early.

Mixed with technical difficulties with Skype I was able to get the show together. We should have done a Dawn and Drew double ender but instead I opted to record everything locally. My soundcard has a lot of extra noise that I didn't hear when recording the show. At one point I commited sin of messing with audio levels wjile recording . . . you'll know when!

This show was a lot of fun to record. Thanks again to my new friend Richie Carey who will be a frequent guest on the show, I hope.

Today's Show

Intro
Breakdown on the recording process
Why did Richie get into podcasting?
Everyone should podcast quality doesn't matter
Lots-o-devices
Mobile podcasting from Sears
Business blogging
It is not your speakers - I fucked up audio levels
Business blogging rap up
Stop the record
Start the record
Jolie Holland
Signed talent
Robust podcasting clients will have their day
Podcast.net and Feedcast.com (I called feedcaster)
Stream it from your site
What to do with all the stuff
Get podcasting into your portfolio
Money?
Firing up the name drop - Tony Kahn (way too surreal)
Early dot-com days
This is a conversation
When will musicians get in?
That's a wrap

Tags: richie podcasting record croncast recording