sick | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

Season 21 Ep 24: The Mexico Part 3

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 11:52:03 -0500

Croncast - 2009-03-30.mp3
Show: #524
Length: 41:24
Size: 38 mb
Format: mp3

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When, when, when, when
This was supposed to go out Friday
Maggie has been insanely sick
What happens when you read all of these Oprah books?
It should come with a six pack of Xanax
Difficult times?
Write a book
You need to change your name to Kristina
Sending email as Kris Smith
People would respond to me as a woman<
br> So I had to make it Kristopher Smith Wait, Mr B
I have to give a shout out to Carrie, thanks for coming to my show
The Mexico Part 3 begins now
Betsy, you are at the buffet, go . . .
If I had known that they served guacamole breakfast, lunch and dinner
Standing at the buffet
A woman sidles up next to me
"What part of Canada are you from?"
I speak like that because I lived in Milwaukee for a few years
Where's that?
Wisconsin
Is that a big city?
All the push ups that you do
They could throw a rock at it
She was wearing the crocs
Then I scanned the room and it was covered in crocs
That is he face of colonialism
Later . . .
I'm the only American
What is the most expensive shit you got behind this bar?
Grand Marnier on the rocks the entire trip
Do you want to know how to cook the guacamole?
He was like a bull fighter
Super hot
Fellas watch out for this
They will whisk you wife away
The Italian says, "You mean this prison"
You must leave this compound
They will take you to the jungle
They get electricity for 2 hours a day
It is wonderful
Deciding to go deep see fishing
How did you get over the shark fear?
We were stuck at the front gate
How many signs do you need?
It was like a road block
We were there on a gift certificate
I'm thinking that this will be so nice
The authentic Mexican experience awaits
We get to the place
Sure, it would have have been authentic
But didn't the charter company name tell you all you needed to know?
Captain Rick's
It should have
Yeah, if it were Captain Ricardo's
On the boat with a Canada
They start swearing at us in Spanish
Turns out I am the only one that knows it
I kept my mouth shut
Betsy catches Dory (see photo in post)
"Chocha Grande"
How is the fish doing?
Mas muerto
They pull it back into the boat
Cut up Dory and turned her into chum
We had Captain Bicho
More protected species were caught
Chopped and chum
Chocha account is over 11 at this point
I'm the bloke, right
Don't be a chocha Mr B

Tags: Crocs Canadian Tourists The Mexico GrandMarnier

Season 21 Ep 14: Rat Poison, SHE Squad, Followed Home

Fri, 20 Feb 2009 13:23:38 -0600

Croncast - 2009-02-20.mp3
Show: #514
Length: 26:43
Size: 24.6 mb
Format: mp3

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Missed the Wednesday show
Besty's been sick
Must be the path
Never buy rat poison, Gatorade and get a passport photo at same time
It's no just my paranoia, I was followed home by a black mercedes
Sure, Kris, they sent the SHE Squad after you
Right after they finished shooting a show on Lifetime
Bret Michaels mouth
Yes, Betsy, the dogs mouth is cleaner and he eats his own poop

Tags: Lifetime SHE Squad rat poison black mercedes Bret Michaels

Season 21 Ep 08: Where is everybody, Blue Book, Not well

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 10:42:21 -0600

Croncast - 2009-02-04.mp3
Show: #508
Length: 23:57
Size: 22mb
Format: mp3

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This show brought to you by Podiobooks.com
No show notes, I'm sick
I'm heading to bed
Glad I built scheduled posting into this thing!

Tags: kelly blue book dealership chipotle economy

Croncast Listener Survey Results Continued

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 18:27:16 -0500

The results continued. These were the likes and dislikes of fellow listeners.

What Listeners Like
Date	Comment
01/30/2008	Its hilarious attitude
01/10/2008	The way they talk about their lives, it is hilarious and endearing all at once.
01/07/2008	The chemistry between Kris and Betsy and the humor.
01/02/2008	Betsy and Chris are funny and real people.
12/31/2007	Very funny.
12/29/2007	real
12/28/2007	They are ""My People""
12/26/2007	Betsy & Kris are great together! The fact that they talk about ""nothing"" & can create a funny show out of it reminds be of Seinfeld. You guys ROCK!!Keep it up.
12/20/2007	The humor. They are normal people who actually like and support each other.
11/02/2007	Host are very entertaining
10/29/2007	Betsy!
10/23/2007	The hosts are great, its real life only funny
10/23/2007	Extremely funny
10/22/2007	it's hilarious!
10/22/2007	I like the hosts personally.
10/18/2007	This is the funniest podcast out there. I feel like they are my friends.
10/11/2007	they are so fucking funny!
10/04/2007	It is constantly entertaining, my favorite podcast out there.
10/03/2007	great banter between hosts
10/03/2007	Betsy and Kris do a wonderful job of airing out their lives on the air in a way that is real, funny, and sometimes even JUST A Little bit uncomfortable. Their lucky they got all that expensive equipment between them while their doing the show. In the future I see bullet proof glass..... LOL Just kidding. The show length is perfect, spot on, no waste on predetermined montages or business or reader mail or anything that's just filler to try and get a longer show. about 30 minutes or less is PERFECT. They're both Hilarious (a little respect for the Bear).
09/13/2007	I love the energy between the hosts
09/10/2007	they make me laugh out loud! and i can relate to them.
09/07/2007	lively realism
09/07/2007	the ""humaness"" of it
09/05/2007	Funny!!!
09/05/2007	Kris's laugh
09/04/2007	hilarious!!! Love Betsey and Chris, they are so funny and personable
09/04/2007	Kris and Betsy make me laugh out loud all the time.
08/29/2007	The interaction between Kris and Betsy
08/29/2007	The fact that I feel like I'm in a similar boat. Former cool guy/punk rocker turned daddy dearest.
08/29/2007	Betsy and Kris are so funny and entertaining.
08/29/2007	The real world approach to podcasting.
08/27/2007	betsy and kris
08/26/2007	Kris and Betsy are PRICELESS!!! I enjoy everything about this podcast. They are parents just like my husband and I and I can really relate to most of what they talk about. Keep it up!
08/22/2007	Honest, funny, and always entertaining.
08/06/2007	Betsy and Kris are hilarious. It's just a fun part of my week to listen to them.
08/03/2007	funny entertaining,
07/30/2007	The hosts are very entertaining.
07/29/2007	the humor. the hosts don't take themselves too seriously.
07/11/2007	The way Kris and Betsy interact.
07/10/2007	the hosts
07/09/2007	The humorous banter between the hosts. Hilarious!
07/09/2007	Great personalities, good audio quality, consistent and reliable.
07/06/2007	Betsy Smith
06/29/2007	They're a couple like me and my wife. Living vicariously through them, at times
06/19/2007	You guys are FUNNY! These questions are funny - I especially like the one that asks how much confidence we have in your ability to select cars... ;)
06/19/2007	The funny Hosts. Betsy is great.
06/16/2007	It's funny most of the time.
06/15/2007	The hosts
06/14/2007	Hilarious!

06/13/2007	FUN!
06/10/2007	They are funny and witty. Its a perfect combination of ornery and nice!
06/09/2007	I like everything about it. No special part. All of it. Takes me back to my young parent days!
06/08/2007	We(wife & I) and the podcast team are at the about the same place in life. I relate to what they normally talk about.
05/27/2007	Betsy! The real-life stories are extremely entertaining.
05/26/2007	I truly appreciate how Kris and Betsy allow me to share their lives. At times, Betsy make the mundane so hilarious that I've had to pull the car over. Thanks guys.
05/25/2007	Rapport of the hosts. Great conversational quality.
05/15/2007	Great back and forth banter between hosts. They are realistic, funny,and honest. Show reminds me of Seinfeld in that it's a show about nothing in particular just the quirks of life. I can relate with both of the hosts humor, and to Betsy's addiction to thrift stores. When Mr. B laughs really hard it's so funny!
05/13/2007	it's funny and charming to hear two people that like each other and are able to joke about each other.
05/13/2007	cool people
05/11/2007	The honesty of the hosts.
05/09/2007	Genuine Humor & the way the hosts mesh with each other
05/02/2007	Both Kris and Betsy. Their personalities complement each other perfectly. The interaction between them comes off as very ""Real"", They turn the mundane into entertainment consistantly. After all....life is show prep.
05/01/2007	Fantastic humor
04/30/2007	Chemistry between co-hosts and commentary on real-life events.
04/29/2007	It is entertaining and fun.
04/29/2007	Kris & Betsy sound authentic
04/28/2007	the day to day life of betsy
04/21/2007	The everday humor.
04/21/2007	Two people, funny
04/15/2007	The funny banter!
04/12/2007	They are the most ""real"" married couple on the planet -- absolute pure honesty and openness.
04/09/2007	The comedy aspect
04/05/2007	Chris and Betsy are very funny and creative folks.
04/02/2007	excellent humor, friendly hosts, good storytelling
03/23/2007	Croncast was a charming podcast in the early days; it becomes more difficult to listen to as Chris' ego expands. Betsy remains a joy to listen to.
03/13/2007	It's funny!
03/12/2007	The Hosts
03/07/2007	Hosts and everyday conversation that keeps me laughing.
03/07/2007	The interaction between the co-hosts and great story-telling.
03/07/2007	The hosts
03/04/2007	I have been listening since January of 2005 and I am totally hooked! Chris and Betsy are extremely funny and entertaining. When you listen to them, it is like having a conversation with your friends. I listen on my iPOD at work and I am constantly laughing out loud. The sound quality is excellent! It is definitely professional sounding. I took this for granted until I subscribed to other podcasts with poor sound (and ended up unsubcribing to them). Keep up the good work!
03/03/2007	FUNNY! (and real)
03/01/2007	Honest conversation
03/01/2007	They're my age and I can relate to the things they talk about. They make me laugh.
03/01/2007	Their relationship and how they both make me laugh: one by her stories and the other by his laugh! They are wonderful people and they have made me feel like one of the family.
03/01/2007	the hosts, content and audio quality
02/28/2007	very entertaining and fun
02/28/2007	They are just fun to listen to. Betsy is funny and so is Chris. I look forward to each episode.
02/27/2007	the hosts! The natural way they interact with each other and the hilarious things that come out of their mouths.
02/27/2007	The hosts are very funny. It reminds ne of sitting with friends in a social situation and discussing and making fun of various topics.
02/27/2007	Relationship between hosts
02/27/2007	It's fun to listen to... What else could there be?
02/26/2007	I like this podcast because I like to listen to people with lots of problems.
02/26/2007	It's funny. It's about every day life as a married couple and as a family. They pay attention to listener's feedback.
02/26/2007	Betsy
02/26/2007	Funny, good storytelling, reality based
02/26/2007	Hosts/content/Reliability
02/26/2007	I love the hosts - Kris and Betsy. They are very transparent and real and completely fun to listen to. They make the basic stuff of life hilarious.
02/26/2007	The interaction between the hosts. The stories about everyday life.

02/25/2007	The interaction between Kris & Betsy and their good outlook on life.
02/25/2007	lively, animated banter
02/25/2007	I just can't quit them.
02/24/2007	it is human and it is funny
02/24/2007	Good off-the-cuff humor.
02/24/2007	Kris and Betsy make me laugh and are just generally likable.
02/24/2007	Down to earth naature of the hosts, humor, excellent story-telling
02/24/2007	I'm an American living abroad and I listen to this religiously ... not for news, just to hear what everyday folks are up to. It's funny and interesting. This podcast rocks. Betsy and Kris are the greatest.
02/24/2007	Exceptionally engaging, funny hosts, warmth, interesting content, very high production values.
02/23/2007	the hosts
02/23/2007	Always funny and interesting
02/23/2007	Chris and Betsy are funny. It is very entertaining.
02/23/2007	Funny and comfortable
02/23/2007	the humor and interactions between the hosts
02/23/2007	I look forward to listening each week because Kris and Betsy are so entertaining. There is NO other podcast out there that gets me laughing the way they do.
02/23/2007	They are hilarious and personable. They amke you feel like you're listening to friends. But funny friends.
02/23/2007	this is the most awesome podcast that I listen to, Betsy and Chris are the best and incredibly funny. There shows are always entertaining, no if ands or buts
02/23/2007	I have no idea. It is infectuous though. They are good together.
02/23/2007	Rapport between Kris and Betsy. Overlap between my areas of interest and life issues and theirs. General witty and clever and funny outlook on life, even when it sucks.
02/23/2007	Chemistry of the hosts.
02/22/2007	they are just like us...but my goatee is shorter and i have hair on my head
02/22/2007	laid back, down to earth, Not a big production, can relate with hosts
02/22/2007	Kris and Betsy are extremely funny, down to earth, real.
02/22/2007	I really enjoy Kris and Betsy. I love their relationship and their interaction. They're very funny.
02/22/2007	Betsy is funny as shit... Kris is like robin to her batman
02/22/2007	Rapport between hosts.
02/22/2007	The ability of the Host's to play off of each other's humor. Play arguments.
02/22/2007	I really enjoy the fun the hosts have with each other. The closeness of their relationship comes through in each show.
02/21/2007	The hosts are great! Open, honest, funny and real. This is one of the five best podcasts in the known world!
02/21/2007	Nice mix of humor and serious topics. Nice banter between the hosts.
02/21/2007	Consistently entertaining
02/21/2007	They make me laugh everytime, in the way that my friends make me laugh...they are great fun and as a married person i highly identfy with some of the stuff they talk about.
02/21/2007	No ads. It is honest people talking, it doesn't have a staged quality to it.
02/21/2007	Hearing a married couple deal with similar issues that other 30-something couples face, but in thier own unique way.
02/21/2007	It is extremely funny and entertaining.
02/21/2007	the hosts
02/21/2007	Real people. Real situations. Funny as all get out.
02/21/2007	Kris
02/21/2007	the hosts
02/21/2007	Kris and Betsy are really funny and could be my next door neighbor except better.
02/21/2007	Life the Smith way!
02/21/2007	Lively private conversation between married folk
02/21/2007	I LOVE BETSY and Kris :)
02/21/2007	The dynamics of Kris & Betsy. They just have interesting conversations.
02/21/2007	The hosts are one of a kind. My wife and I can really relate to them. They are very enjoyable to listen to. I can't count the number of times I have laughed out loud while listening. They should get paid to do what they do.
02/21/2007	It's kinda funny sometimes. You can listen without really paying attention
02/20/2007	It is extremely intelligent and absolutely hilarious...very engaging!
02/20/2007	personalities
02/20/2007	The dynamic between Kris and Betsy is wonderful. Their relationship isn't perfect, but they obviously love each other and that's what makes it great. Plus they are both EXTREMELY funny.
02/20/2007	Content, Hosts,

02/20/2007	The realism. The bickering. Reminds me of my wife and myself. Just bickering sometimes to have something to talk about, pick a fight just to fight and get over it and have fun.
02/20/2007	The chemistry between Kris & Betsy.
02/20/2007	the humor of the hosts
02/20/2007	It's a slice of life that's clever and funny. The hosts have a wonderful rappor with each other and I love how they are able to make you feel like it's all in fun, like no matter what underneath it all they love each other and that's all that really counts.
02/20/2007	Honesty. Hilarity.
02/20/2007	The easy way that the hosts are able to interact with each other. Even when they are slightly ticked off - they will laugh easily and they project their relationship into the podcast. All technical details of the podcast are A+.
02/20/2007	honesty
02/20/2007	The personalities of the hosts.
02/20/2007	the humor. I can relate to them and the way they interact as a couple. I highly enjoy the banter and fun wacky topics.
02/20/2007	the frequency of podcasts, content, humor
02/20/2007	It's hilarious
02/20/2007	Comedy
02/20/2007	Kris & Betsy
02/20/2007	Reel life with real friends.
02/20/2007	Humor & relationship between hosts
02/20/2007	As half of a married couple living in the suburbs of Detroit with two kids, I relate to the content of the podcast. They make me laugh!
02/20/2007	It cheers me up.
02/20/2007	It makes me laugh
02/19/2007	Kris' laugh and Betsy's sense of humor
02/19/2007	The hosts - Betsy and Kris (the side-kick). They just brighten up my day.
02/19/2007	Betsy's ability to put up with her husband's interesting viewpoints.
02/19/2007	It's funny.
02/19/2007	very entertaining
02/19/2007	People involved it's the kind of show that only works with Betsy/ Chris so it's hard to pick anything you can do more of
02/19/2007	I like the banter back and forth between Betsy and Mr B - they argue like my husband and I do. Also, the frequency of the episodes. 3 times a week feeds wonderfully into my attention deficit disorder ;)
02/19/2007	The Hosts
02/19/2007	The chemistry between the hosts is wonderful. Betsy is hilarious. Kris seems like a completely genuine, nice guy. Together, they are entertaining and seem completely ""for real.""
02/19/2007	the great sense of humor and intimacy of the hosts.
02/19/2007	Chemistry between the hosts Quality of editing
02/19/2007	banter between the hosts.
02/19/2007	Kris and Betsy are terrific! Their conversations are the highlight of my week!
02/19/2007	everything
02/19/2007	it's fun to listen to.
02/19/2007	I love the chemistry that Kris and Betsy have. I also love how they can tell interesting stories that are funny as hell.
02/19/2007	funny, real life experiences oh, did I mentioned funny
02/19/2007	The hosts
02/19/2007	Tone and sense of humor exhibited by hosts!
02/19/2007	Betsy and Kris arguing
02/19/2007	Betsy, Betsy, and Betsy
02/19/2007	The hosts
02/19/2007	Life is show prep. they have very a similar lifestyle to us. They're local
02/19/2007	Hearing real stories about the everyday life of the hosts.
02/19/2007	The hosts are entertaining and work great together. I know when I listen to this podcast I will be entertained.
02/19/2007	Listening is like having a conversation with friends
02/19/2007	Various well told extremely funny stories, the consistency of new episodes, good quality.
02/19/2007	They are funny, real, and are a great couple

What Listeners Don't Like
01/30/2008	Nothing
01/10/2008	That they're stopping! Please, do something!
01/02/2008	I wish they were making big money from the podcast.
12/31/2007	When it's not on.
12/29/2007	the hosts are hostile to each other sometimes and the man laughs at nothing
12/28/2007	format changes but since the hosts have a real life I understand the necessity.
12/26/2007	The intro & outgo.
12/20/2007	They think we only want to hear about the good times. We want to hear about the trials, too.
11/02/2007	I like everything
10/29/2007	The way Betsy disses Kris' family. I mean come on...
10/23/2007	Occasional liberal/Democratic skew.
10/22/2007	nothing
10/22/2007	No complaints.
10/18/2007	There is nothing I don't like about it. I guess only that they are not getting rich doing it because they deserve it.
10/11/2007	kris's laugh
10/04/2007	Sometimes it is too short, I wish they had hour long podcasts.
10/03/2007	no reader from webpage?
10/03/2007	I can never catch up it seems always 2 or 3 behind.
09/13/2007	nothing
09/10/2007	that they aren't on everyday!!
09/07/2007	should be daily
09/07/2007	no video associated with it
09/05/2007	nothin'
09/04/2007	Just that I'm SO far behind in listening to episodes! (About 2 weeks behind)
08/29/2007	Sometimes it's too short
08/29/2007	It's too short!
08/29/2007	The sound of running water. It makes me have to pee.
08/27/2007	its too short sometimes but i guess kris and betsy can have a life
08/26/2007	Not one thing!
08/22/2007	Doesn't come out often enough!
08/03/2007	sometimes shows are not long enough, granted, they don't make a living off this!
07/30/2007	That they only put out a show 3 times a week.
07/11/2007	The episodes are over too quickly!
07/10/2007	i like it all, no complaints
07/06/2007	Kris Smith. He simply doesn't get how life works.
06/19/2007	Nothing comes to mind about the show. I do have a suggestion for you though - how about doing an idiot's guide to RSS feeds on the show? I haven't monkeyed around enough to get the episodes to download to my pc automatically so I can move them to my phone's memory card. I think that's what RSS is for, but I haven't had the time to mess around with it to figure it out. I know Kris knows how to do it - why not do a 5-minute tutorial on the show about how to do it? -Jennifer in San Diego (your alter ego, Dave's, wife)
06/19/2007	Life is sometimes a little boring....
06/16/2007	The new intro music.
06/15/2007	Nothing
06/10/2007	can't think of a thing
06/09/2007	There is nothing about it I don't like. Keep up the great work.
06/08/2007	They interupt each other during stories and go off on tangents, and sometimes forget to finish the original story.
05/27/2007	I have very little that I dislike about the show.
05/26/2007	I would not change a thing. I was glad to see the music between segments go.
05/25/2007	That is isn't every day of the week.
05/15/2007	Not much I don't like about the show, but one time they had a guest on, a female family friend who they were trying to find a boyfriend for and she had the worst east coast accent. It wasn't kind on the ears at all, especially for west coast listeners. It sounded like nails on a chalkboard.
05/13/2007	Kris annoys me sometimes. I think he thinks he's funnier than he is.
05/13/2007	sometimes weird edits
05/11/2007	Beginning music, abrupt ending, the bits of music throughout (nice idea, but they don't work).
05/09/2007	Way to much bad language

05/02/2007	Since the return of the show it seems like something is missing. I'm not sure exactly what it is. Also some of the shows seem to be rather short.
04/30/2007	Sometimes a little too much time is spent examining the clammy white underbelly of middle-American life.
04/29/2007	the language makes it difficult to listen to around my kids
04/29/2007	Can't think of anything
04/21/2007	Nothing, I love everything about it.
04/15/2007	The fact that they feel they need to edit themselves for us.
04/12/2007	Nothing.
03/13/2007	The cussing.
03/12/2007	It is too short
03/07/2007	Wish it was more often ;=) I think the website is a bit confusing.
03/07/2007	there's not really anything i don't like.
03/07/2007	nothing
03/04/2007	Not much to dislike. Maybe a show one or two times per week instead of three.
03/03/2007	nothing negative, really
03/01/2007	Episodes too frequent, twice a week would be better. Don't have time for 3 episodes a week
03/01/2007	I've just started listening and I caught a couple episodes where Kris was sick so it was 85etsy and that just didn't work as well. You need the calm of Kris to even out the excitability of Betsy.
03/01/2007	They don't podcast 2x's a day every day forever and ever and ever..duh!
03/01/2007	I can't listen to it around my kids.
02/28/2007	nothing
02/28/2007	not much
02/27/2007	I dont expect everyone to like everything but it bothers me occasionally when Kris gets adamant on how much he dislikes bicyclists or pets.
02/27/2007	Sound of mother-in-law's bath water running in background.
02/27/2007	Unnecessary use of strong language in an otherwise pretty family-friendly show.
02/26/2007	The cussing!!!
02/26/2007	sometimes, not always it can be a bit long.
02/26/2007	Not much to dislike
02/26/2007	Pretty much no complaints.
02/25/2007	The times when I want to scream at them when they're about to do something really stupid with their money again (cf. Slowsky, calculating eBay earnings but ignoring the fees)
02/25/2007	would like more frequent shows
02/25/2007	I just can't quit them.
02/24/2007	The host's sometimes frustrating inability to see how they sabotage themselves in reaching their goals.
02/24/2007	It makes me very uneasy when Kris and Betsy argue.
02/24/2007	Not often enough
02/24/2007	Hosts occasionally talking over each other.
02/23/2007	nada
02/23/2007	I wish it were every day. :)
02/23/2007	nothing...
02/23/2007	I wouldn't change a thing! My only worry is that someday they'll burn out and stop podcasting. :)
02/23/2007	huh... nothing...
02/23/2007	that it isn't everyday.
02/23/2007	The fact that I can't put my finger on why I can't stop listening to it.
02/23/2007	Month-long breaks ;)
02/23/2007	When they have to take time off. Though I understand.
02/22/2007	strange women lying around in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government, supreme executive power comes from a mandate from the masses, not from some farsical aquatic ceremony
02/22/2007	Sometimes they skip around topics alot
02/22/2007	Its not a daily podcast.
02/22/2007	When it ends.
02/21/2007	I just wish there was more, more, more!
02/21/2007	Hosts occasionally step on one another
02/21/2007	wish shows were either more frequent or longer, although wouldn't want to see what happened to nick and jess happen to them...therefore, frequency and length are fine - lol

02/21/2007	that they are taking a break soon!
02/21/2007	The upcoming podcast boycott, er, break they are taking !!!! :(
02/21/2007	Sometimes the hosts do crazy things and I want to jump through my iPod and snap them out of their decision to do something irrational.
02/21/2007	nothing
02/21/2007	That I can't listen more.
02/21/2007	Taking month off.
02/21/2007	John Elway Dodge
02/21/2007	Kris rags on Betsy too much.
02/21/2007	Kris' angry rants. I don't like when he threatens the dog.
02/21/2007	Nothing. Croncast is great. Wait, the podcast name is little too geeky.
02/21/2007	I hate it when Kris builds some big thing up for a future episode, then it turns out he just got a new job.
02/20/2007	There is nothing that I do not like about this podcast.
02/20/2007	nothing
02/20/2007	I have nothing to complain about regarding their podcasts. Never been unsatisfied.
02/20/2007	Too short
02/20/2007	The fact that they're taking a month off. You bastards. I'm just gonna have to argue that much more with my own wife to make up for the lack of you bickering. :P
02/20/2007	Not applicable
02/20/2007	the length and frequency, would love longer shows more often (sorry guys, but I love you and it's true!)
02/20/2007	I guess it's allegience to the glossy surface of popular culture without acknowledging or investigating the bredth of possibility below that surface - but that is just a token issue, I had to think about it to come up with something I didn't like.
02/20/2007	It's not a travelling vaudeville show.
02/20/2007	Sometimes I wish the hosts would seek the help of some financial planning professionals. They could then be more confident in the choices they make - and relate on the podcast.
02/20/2007	making a big deal about something that is boring?
02/20/2007	The fact that there aren't 5 podcasts per week!
02/20/2007	only complaint is that it's not daily!
02/20/2007	There is nothing I don't like about this podcast
02/20/2007	Sometimes Betsy is too mean to Kris!
02/20/2007	Not much...
02/20/2007	A live event would be interesting to hear.
02/20/2007	Swearing / foul language
02/20/2007	Sometimes Kris and Betsy's real life interupts their ability to get shows out. But... that's life.
02/20/2007	sometimes the same topic gets discussed over and over again
02/20/2007	I like everything
02/19/2007	That Kris and Betsy aren't making any money on it! They are hysterical, I would pay for that!
02/19/2007	That Betsy and Kris sound like they are about to give up doing the podcast.
02/19/2007	Chris' political views.
02/19/2007	Not much.
02/19/2007	i wish it were every day
02/19/2007	Same as above, jsut hard to think of what you can do less of
02/19/2007	hmmmmmmmm...I wish each episode was longer? Because I'm greedy like that?
02/19/2007	Nothing
02/19/2007	Nothing! It's fabulous the way it is!
02/19/2007	sometimes repetitive subjects, and episodes just to churn out more episodes even when they don't have too much to say
02/19/2007	swearing
02/19/2007	I wish there was more!
02/19/2007	I really don't have any complaints about this podcast.
02/19/2007	nothing
02/19/2007	the dog
02/19/2007	Very little. I'm not thrilled that the hosts are taking a month off, but I know this is a big time commitment for them.
02/19/2007	Betsy and Kris talking about the dog
02/19/2007	Sometimes the hosts are braindead.

02/19/2007	Nothing
02/19/2007	Would like to have more episodes per week.
02/19/2007	That they are on only 3 times a week. But that is me being selfish.
02/19/2007	Nothing comes to mind.
02/19/2007	Only 3times a week, :)

Tags: Croncast Survey Kris Smith Betsy Smith Advertising Croncast Demographics

Season 19 Ep 26: Kick Ass Mustache, Spilled Coffee, Toe Rings

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 10:54:07 -0500

Croncast - 2008-03-28.mp3
Show: #473
Length: 11:17
Size: 7.84 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Shout to Mike Dunn
You are digging yourself a hole Kris
Walking in NYC is not like walking anywhere else on the planet
Like a mommy in the morning?
Putting on deodorant walking down the block
Not one person looked at me sideways
Don't ask him for money
I love New York
I want to live someplace with a goat
They won't let me have a goat in New York
Well, when it poops they would see it
People just might want to eat your goat
It would poop and you would chasing chocolate marbles on the sidewalk
She had toe rings
That was it getting on the plane
The kids keep going ape
I knock her Starbucks down and spill it
I am in row one, so I can get out quick
I really wanted to help this woman
Especially, when the chubby hamster next to you spills your coffee
She says, "Let me clean it up"
She put on her toe rings thinking today would be different
Did you get a toe ring to the face?
Turns out to be Billy Bob Thornton?
No
He was four Billy Bobs
Did you put on deodorant before you got on the plane?
When the person next to you seeks comfort
She starts weeping
I felt like such an asshole
It was not just the coffee it was the culmination of lots of things
We really need to go
And that is it. This is such a short show.
The kids are wired
Spilled Coffee
Kris is sick
Regular shows and show notes Monday.

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

Tags: New York City toe rings Mike Dunn mustache spilled coffee

Season 19 Ep 23: Omniscient Nerd, Void Your Warranty, Ferocity

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 09:42:29 -0500

Croncast - 2008-03-21.mp3
Show: #470
Length: 15:41
Size: 10.8mb
Format: mp3

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We keeps it short today
Maggie is sick with croup and flu with fever
It's one half of a show
So I was at Goodwill
What story you tell doesn't start this way?
My pockets were loaded
I don't trust my purse
You shouldn't
We haven't told the story of your purse being stolen yet?
Nope
Another day
Not to be disgusting
Sure
I had to go to the bathroom and leave my cart outside the door
I pulled up my pants with ferocity
As soon as I left my pockets felt lighter
Oh, Baby
I go back in and my cell phone is in the toilet
Multi-use public toilet
I had to decide which hand to stick into the toilet
Baby, I gotta tell ya
You should have just left it
Goodwill urine water would do it
You could have sold it with your personal information
What are they going to steal? Your skype number?
This person could use more friends
Lists of potential friends
I love the idea
How much is a list of friends from a cell phone found in a toilet at Goodwill?
You're right
Kris, I need you to get me a new phone
I want a penny phone
Cheap flip phone?
Cell phones say a lot about people
It's like getting out of prison and wearing the same clothes from 20 years ago
I want a phone that I can dial and drive
If you hit the shift key you can dial numbers
It isn't a smart phone
They call that insurance fraud
I gotta hit the red dot
Sure, if you crack the head open you will void the warranty
It's funny you say that
Two months ago I had brain surgery
I felt like I was an inch tall
Omniscient nerd

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

Tags: smart phone Verizon voided warranty Omniscient nerd

Not so much under the weather

Thu, 01 Nov 2007 11:51:10 -0500

Just realized how strange that euphemism for being sick is because 99.9 percent of the time we are under the weather.

I been sick people!

Now that things are above the weather it is time to get some work done. All those awaiting email . . . await no longer.

Tags: euphemisms illness under the weather

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 12, 2007

Fri, 12 Oct 2007 08:58:34 -0500

Croncast - 2007-10-12.mp3
Show: #421
Length: 30:19
Size: 20.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 12, 2007

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Tell a Friend Friday!
Tell'em all about it
This is a rocking show . . . starts slow, Betsy is sick, but fires up
Thanks Mexico Mike/Susan, seriously?
Proxy commenters need not hide
User your real information
I know who it is, Bears
Who?
You mom
She got a WebTV
Through a proxy
My perfect job would be the skipper on a boat
The skipper of a sailboat
So, I went and bought a Jamocha shake from Arby's
Now I want to throw up
Speaking of Goodwill . . . Mike and Liz just had a baby today!!!
Congratulations to the Marusin's and Poppy Ann
Wait until you get your Goodwill gift
No way Kris, I will them something nice . . . like a store display
Going to Ben Franklin to get some paint
Unless a blind person comes and runs their fingers over it no one will know
We are really talking about a $160 present
We should get them something new
Yeah, Kris, we will get them some diapers
You need not to nerd out on strollers, explain
Why don't they call it the platform stroller?
You can sit or stand . . .let's call it the platform stroller
Special place for them to hold on
They always want to stand in the cart
What kind of vitamin deficiency makes your skin fall off?
I mean like peel on your hands
One year of hands down the pants
Baby!
That is all about moisture, Kris
Maybe you need to get sick more often
Improv round two started last night for Betsy
Not just the core group, time to move on
Betsy and her ego
I love, love this class
Yeah, it is controlled psychosis
You are nuts
The crazier the people the better
Crazy people find each other
Giving off the crazy vibe
You find out later you have it in common
Kicking it at Bar Louie with my posse
I can't believe you are still going back
Of course I am
You don't want to profit from my sexual harassment?
This is your joint now . . . your cheers
They listen to the show now
My mom paid children to teach me to ride a bike
I don't know if I ever told you this before, Kris
Told me what?
I was born dead
What?
I was blue and not breathing
That explains a lot
What else you hiding from me?
Object work in improv
They reply to me . . . "It's not a radio show"
Well, let them come in and try this
That's right . . . dead air bitch
When is it a good time to bring up being born dead?
I don't know.
Who are you? Where is my wife that was born alive?
The doctor left with a blue baby
Came back with a pink baby
Don't go to Arby's and buy a Jomacha shake

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Tags: Jamocha shake Poppy Ann Marusin Goodwill improv psychosis Bar Louie

Show should be up by 3 pm CST

Fri, 21 Sep 2007 10:03:37 -0500

Dearest people, the train that the show was on is going to arrive later than usual at the station.

It should be pulling in around 3 pm CST.

Betsy was sick last night and today she's making money by getting her stuff off to the twins and triplets sale for the weekend. She loves her junk and money.

Tags: late show twins and triplet sale show train 3 pm CST

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 06, 2007

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 08:24:48 -0500

Croncast - 2007-08-06.mp3
Show: #394
Length: 36:42
Size: 25.2mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 06, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

Early intro to explain this show has lots of the electric popping noise in it. I thought I had this figured out for the show recording but I didn't. However, I did find a solution after today's show was recorded . . . clear shows from here on out.

My windscreen smells like a pack of condoms
What you got in your suitcase?
Yeah it has packed since I left for Colorado
OK Kris, mine smells like a today's sponge left out for four days
It's been 3 weeks since we have done a show with just us
The untold story, I almost didn't go to Colorado, Kris
Is this like Slowsky?
We fly in the face of karma
I preemptively heed the warnings
Four days out from leaving for Boulder it begins
Like the Volvo won't come out of park again
OK Blackwater Betsy
They drag the old decrepit bitch in
Volvo of Lisle has repaired it for the 4th time
They give me a Hyundai
We know what the problem is mam . . . you dripped some soda in there
No, look at the record . . . this is the 4th time
If I can't drink soda in my car remove the cup holders
The problem is that everything in the gear shifting area has been replaced
Splenda is not sugar, it is a secret ingredient in concrete
Now I owe the dealership $300
That is one less cool experience at Elk Mountain Resort
How am I going to help you out? I will be in San Francisco
That would be cash at hand
Your guilt and negativity goes both ways
I get to the DMV with Gigi on my hip to get new plates
Line to another line to another line
Boss Hog will drag you out by your ear
Don't get out of hand Ms. Mommy pant
Can we get a supervisor over here?
I know that is the auditor
Mam, your plates are illegal!
Oh, now I am going to be arrested at the DMV
I end up in a line with bikers
A line full of the scariest men
They all keep trying to talk to Goo
I've never seen a baby give that look
She's not going to ride bitch to anybody
She'll be leading your gang in 10 years
I know exactly what the problem is
There is only one man in Springfield who can take care of this
The bikers, Skanky and Skanky
It turns out that Skanky wants to sell his car to Skanky
Maggie hears the guy yell and she freaks out
Now I am freaking out
All your fault Mr. B
Your likability was going down by the day
The plates from Slowsky moved over to Volvo
I don't own the Volvo, you do Kris!!!!
What if I want to hit the road in peace?
Thanks Oprah
I was in there for 53 minutes
I got sucked in to other peoples drama as I waited
Betsy gets attacked by a tick
Now she needs to tell the neighborhood
The neighbor tells her that she just got back from New Jersey
She was there to help out a family member that got sick from a tick bite
The ticks in New Jersey know your name before they attack
This is all happening the night before you leave
Thank god the Elk Mountain staff is released early every morning to remove all ticks and flea dip the deer
I will never have a vacation as good as this because I am married to you
Oh, you are too kind baby
I was holed up 30 miles from Boulder in a hotel by the highway
They call themselves suburbs, but they don't know
Working late at night doing the nerd thing
I get to the hotel late
You're supposed to have a non-smoking . . . don't have it
You're supposed to have king . . . don't have it
The room smelled musty and like nothing I had smelled before
All this while I have to rationalize hopping into a bed that a lot lizard just has sex with a trucker in
The next morning I wake up and head down to the front desk
I bitch and moan then realize that this girl is 11 years old
I ask to be moved to another room
She reaches into her pocket and pulls cell phone
A roadside motel run by pre-teens
"I can't move you but my mom can. I can call her to come down here."
I rolled on out
I came back the next night and asked to be moved again
We can move you . . . but not for three days
I then get the burrito craving
Qdoba happens to be open right next to the truck stop
You're gonna have to re-wrap that burrito
Why?
Beans were falling out of it
He looks at me, "Sir you need to understand . . . if you bit into this it will explode in your face."
This can't be fucking happening
I am going to eat it here and cut it in half
His eyes twinkle . . . are you sure that you don't want us to cut it . . . I have a really big knife
His concern for my burrito did not go unnoticed
Colorado out to get me . . . three months ago
Stop Mr. B you can't tell this story we've gone too long
We'll be in Seattle on Thursday!!!
If you can make a live show we'll be doing it
If more than 6 people want to come we need to get a place to do it
I have one fan . . .Mexico Mike, total troll
Selling mescaline by the highway
I'll be in on the 8th at 10 am
We'll be there for our 11th anniversary
Why spend alone we want you
Thanks to Bernadette for this review and write up!

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Tags: Qdoba burrito hotel by the highway Longmont CO exploding burrito Volvo of Lisle

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 01, 2007

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 10:42:30 -0500

Croncast - 2007-08-01.mp3
Show: #392
Length: 1:05:10
Size: 44.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 01, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

We've made it into the month of August
You've now crossed into Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla Shooting Club
Sure you don't want to bitch about Boulder some more?
I like Boulder, there are just some things I don't
We roll up and there is a guard tower
Was he standing there with a rifle?
No, Mr B
It is a gorgeous view
Flanked by beauty
The guard comes ambling up to the Volvo
Your names ladies?
We give them, remember this
"Do you ladies have any firearms with you?"
No firearms in this Volvo
This wagon is clear
He gives us directions
We roll on up
Elk Mountain Resort is beautiful
The valet pulls it four feet away and parks
The woman on hotels.com just kept complaining about it
She is nuts
Jeannie says the place is like Annie
Everyone stands to greet you as you walk in
Then there was Santa Claus
A dude with a white beard and red suit?
No, he had a uniform and a "I love my job smile"
He's got hot towels on a silver platter
He looks at me and says, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
He looks at Jeannie, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
Shit, the deal is sealed, we are the dykes
Welcome to first class
It took us 9 hours from Boulder
We'll make everything guided for you
What time would you ladies like dinner?
This Mrs. Smith would like to eat before 7:30
Mrs. Smith and I would like to eat in 45 minutes
Santa has an ear piece and a chest mic
He talks into it and poof the bell hop appears
We get to our room and the view is gorgeous
If you don't like it dial "0"
The bed looks like a cloud from heaven
I got Wal-Mart sheets
Jeanie, "We have robes!"
Hers and hers robes would have been nice
So we get dressed for dinner
It was intimidating, we felt like we didn't fit
Then I bust out the gift certificate
We wanted to play it cool
Sure, you want to fit in
They were nicer than your grandma who hasn't see you in three years
Every time you walk in the door the staff stands
Oh, are you ladies here for dinner?
I'll announce you, then he speaks into his lapel, "The Smiths are here for dinner."
You haven't told them yet?
No I was waiting for Jeannie
Who's the man, the big footed one with a bad perm
Are there any other guests at the resort?
Two other men not talking
There were 10 total guests at the resort
We order our dinner and they ask for drinks
My mom always orders the house wine, the cheap stuff
I'll have a Mountain Dew won't go over well
Jeannie hates red wine but follows Betsy's lead
Hi, I'm Chef Jeff, which house wine is best for you?
They start bringing out bread baskets and baked stuff
Chef Jeff is like, "Fuck dude! I worked on that all day and you can't say it."
I look at Jeannie, I can tell she doesn't like it
Been there and done that
Jeannie is woofing it down
I have to eat at least half of it
The two men eating alone are now joined by someone I recognize
The owner that I had seen on The Daily Show
Kris if you kick it up a notch we can do this every weekend
He comes over to the table
Asks what activities we are going to do
ATV's and shooting
We are the only resort in the entire world to have access for ATV's
Jeannie, "I love the outdoors but I can't go up high"
Our ATV's are automatic
They've thought of everything
Yes, everything
On the ride you will come to a place called Top of the World
So high that airplanes will fly below
Then he launches in to the special lights
These are based on the biologic make up of a lobster's eye
They are used to melt the snow to make an ice tunnel
Mr. Foreman continues to talk about the press they have gotten
A book on the NYT Best Sellers list is based at Elk Mountain Resort
He had me sold . . . I wanted to kiss a bear and drive to the top of the world
Why would you think that you couldn't do something?
Tom Foreman makes you believe that you can do anything
Enter the rest of the guests
Three sets of couples that look like my neighbors
Fit soccer moms?
Yes, Kris
I just drove 4 states over to get away from them
Now they are going to spoil my mountain view
Mr. Foreman goes over to the new couples
The super sweet firebox
Then our food comes
Every time there was another opportunity to be put in our place
We were still really awkward
Betsy has a bowl of puss and I get a bowl of noodles
It was couscous Jeannie
Jeannie starts to panic, all I get are these noodles
Campbell's has everything including broth
Then they bring the broth
After that they bring out dinner
The whole thing was terrific
Except that we were both completely terrified
To get over the petrification of being treated so well and Elk Mountain Resort stay more nights
Kris you are the king of upgrade
So after dinner Santa jumps up
We get our bill after dinner
Betsy goes white
Shut up Jeannie, I'll tell you later
The one thing you can't return is food
What I was freaking out about was that our house wine turned out to be $18 a glass
From their perspective, the lesbians aren't satisfied
Chef Jeff asks if dinner was to their liking
Then Thomas comes over and asks
After that the waitress comes up
Sure, they are trained like the CIA to read unhappiness
What would you ladies like to do?
We would like a jacuzzi?
Our eyes meet and we realize . . . they aren't out to get us . . . they are out to spoil us
Drinking our sangria in the hot tub
The cheap wine was awesome
Betsy took 100 pics of the tops of trees
At the Boulder art fair there was a dude with aspen photos
So we retire to the room and Jeannie puts on a robe
Sliding into the bed of heaven
Mrs. Smith, this is going to be the greatest night of my life
The greatest part of this is that I have no kids to wake me up
Betsy wakes up at 6:01 for coffee and viewing birds that were probably released for my pleasure
Do you know how much this is costing per minute? Get up Jeannie
We decide to take a hike
We start to walk by workers that gardening
When they see you they stop, stand, smile and ask you if you need anything
Landscapers saw us, they froze like deer
When we went by them they commenced working again
Tom has thought of everything
When a crossed eyed man in golf cart tells you "good luck" heed his warning
People are freezing along the trail "I'm a tree. I'm a tree. I'm a tree"
Maybe the trail was made for someone who came one time
Betsy, they did not release cows into the national forest for you to view
Queue the cattle
Someone left it on the comment card no doubt
Gotta watch out for the feral cows
Jeannie was petrified of them
Now you know why he told you good luck
That guy used to not be cross eyed till a cow incident
We can hear them shrieking and yelling
There they are . . . the soccer moms on the zip line
Whew, my Nike sports bra is twisted
We are on our way back
Jeannie freezes as we stand on Have you told anyone that you are not Mrs. Smith?
I see two brown ears rising out of this draining ditch
Out jumps a giant mule deer
Betsy chases it to take it's photo
The lesbians are crazy!
What are the lesbians doing now?
Time for lunch on the patio
We need some cigarettes and an ashtray
"Can I have an ashtray?"
She speaks into her cleavage mic
Around the corner, "I'm on it"
I know it is fun to play spies but this is weird
It was awesome though, instant ashtray
Lesbians are on porch, queue deer
Queue the geese
Then the soccer moms come bouncing back fit and tan
"Where are you guys from?"
Bloomington. "We are going to drive through there."
Their husbands, reserved and uptight
Screw it, this is all about me
I am going to make the soccer moms laugh
She swore that she was thirsty and all the sudden water showed up
"Guess how many kids we have?"
I don't know this is a game?
We have 10 combined?
How many are girls?
One
Then they struck a bad ass soccer mom pose
They brought things like running shoes
Betsy brought Crocs and sandals
Perfect lesbian gear
The soccer moms told us that the ATV's were awesome
We get ready to go and Misha shows up
I have done this ride 500 times and not lost 1 person yet
She takes out these top gun flight suits
I brought you the biggest ones we have
Betsy, "Of course mine won't zip up"
Jeannie, "neither will mine"
Jeannie you rock!
This could be customer service boot camp
Their motto must be "we are not going to tell you no"
They actually import vans from Europe to fit through their gates
Probably because it is more aesthetically pleasing
This is my new motto, "It is all about me"
Betsy gives me the thumbs up and then hits a tree
So we're going up the mountain
Jeannie is flying behind Misha
Betsy is stuck
I look down and my left hand has the brake so tight that I won't move
When you got on the quad the Unitarian in you took over
It was trying to save you
Oh, I'm sorry when was the last time you drove an ATV up a mountain
Betsy is trying to avoid the sticks
"Mam, that is an all terrain vehicle. Run over the sticks."
Hitting trees really hurts
Right before we get to The Top of the World
I look up and it is all Aspens and cattle
Jeannie starts to freak
Get me past that cow so fast
I am getting away from that cow so fast
Kris, we got to the top of mountain
You can see Utah, three mountain ranges at 9000 ft
We both had brown mustaches
It added to the lesbianism
Every time Betsy talks to the staff it is about her husbands and kids
Talk into your chest, the lesbians are not lesbians
These people are awesome
Misha ran a camp for bad ass kids
Like outward bound? Way scarier
Working at Elk Mountain Resort is top of the food chain
You have got to put in your time
John of course is an ex-Navy Seal
He is bad ass
You feel amazingly comfortable and slightly scared
I love men like that. Don't you Jeannie
Sure, he was handsome too
OK, time for this podcast to end
We ended on the ATV's and it was time to drink
Don't hand the truck driver the bottle
Four or five inches of vodka
Kris, we almost drank an entire bottle of vodka
Jeannie is naked in a robe and slippers
We are ripped
You are so awesome . . . No, you are so awesome
I look at clock and it is 9:00 p.m. and we haven't eaten
We dial "0" and they tell us that the dining room is still open for us
We arrive and there are flames to the ceiling
Chef Jeff is making bananas foster
The soccer moms start to speak to us
Betsy with her vodka mouth
"Are we going to be on your webcast?", soccer moms
Jeannie loves it when I get out of control
"We should introduce ourselves"
No that is OK, I already have a name for you, "The bad ass soccer moms"
It could go either way
Then the leader dies laughing
Right, there has to be an Alpha mom in the group
Yes, the one with the longest Escalade, the EXT
So Chef Jeff comes over
Betsy, "A-1 Jeff we're trashed. Can I call you Chef Jeff from now on"
That's not chatting it up that is drunk babble
Chef Jeff really made it
We don't go to gourmet restaurants and have the chef talk to us for 40 minutes
It was entirely phenomenal
Kris, I know we have talked about how I challenged the Russian to a vodka drinking contest
Can I take it back when you order the most expensive item on the menu?
And I was on the urge of vomiting
Kobe beef times 2 with bananas foster
Betsy looks at me like you better eat that bitch
Chef Jeff is buying us drinks
And I have to deny him because now I can't see him
I don't know where I am at
We stumble back to our room
There is that point, where you realize that I am done my man
Jeannie deals with Betsy, I am sick
I will lay in the bed of heaven
Betsy has the her cigarettes and the camera around her neck
You ticked me off
You don't like me anymore?
I'll like you tomorrow
You just ripped my underwear and are out of control
I proceed to go to the most beautiful bathroom in the states
And I don't even have to use my muscles
I have an exorcism of the most expensive meal I have ever ate
More babbling from Betsy
Typical Betsy move, "I made myself throw up"
This is the best planned bathroom of all time
6 feet from toilet to wall on a slate floor
Betsy made a bed right there with a Turkish robe
And I fell asleep on that cold stone slate floor and it felt so good
As I was falling asleep I thought to myself . . .
I love John, Misha, Chef Jeff and I love Tom the most
Why? Because he was smart enough to put a twin bed in the water closet
I don't know what we were thinking by drinking so much
I have nicotine and alcohol poisoning . . . I need to dial "0"
We have to do another show for Valhalla
It was the most emotional day of Jeannie's life
Sorry about your underwear dude
I'll get you a Target gift certificate
These were Victoria Secret
Do you know how much stuff I will have to find and sell from Goodwill?
Final installment of Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla comes your way tomorrow!

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Tags: kobe beef bananas foster Elk Mountain Resort Valhalla Shooting Club Chef Jeff bad ass soccer moms

Betsy and her husband Kris Jun 18, 2007

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 08:09:14 -0500

Croncast - 2007-06-18.mp3
Show: #377
Length: 33:05
Size: 22.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jun 18, 2007

Tickets are on sale now for the live show . . . get your's or find out more

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

After Friday's show you deserve this show. I haven't laughed this hard listening to one of our shows when doing up show notes ever.

Switched up the intro and Betsy gets lost
I finally get to tell my Entourage show intro beef because the fixed
What was the issue, flipped text
I don't think HBO gave the show a shot because the intro was jacked up
Bless you baby
Season 4 of Entourage they fixed the "Pizza" thing, sweet
Flight of the Conchords isn't on my watch list
Not a fan of the musical in any format
The Tudors dude is short and that ruined it for me
Tom Cruise wears flats, Tudors man should
Kris puts a ban nationwide on hummus
God damn, there is so much bad breath in this country because of it
The effort and strain that it takes to be married to Kris
It was like 105 degrees up there?
Did you put on some sunscreen?
No
That's not the point
Did you drink water?
That's not he point
Did you wear a hat?
That's not the point
Self-care skills are nil in your case, Mr. B
I understand that being healthy is important
The playset used to be log cabin
They can't destroy it because Abraham Lincoln might have slept in it
Yeah, the other daddies sleep with their lawnmower in their bedroom
He hasn't mowed his lawn longer than me
All I have to say is . . .
A big well of pity
Happy father's day Mr B.
That'll teach him . . . should have worn sunscreen
Look at the nice swing set with Abraham Lincoln wood
It is now a shiny beacon of play land for kids
Abe would be proud
I knew it would be done
The neighbors got the Rainbow Swing set
900 fat men could sit on it an not break it
I accidentally set myself up in a Betsy joke
So he says it to daddy and it's on
He should have been saying it to you
Man, Booba you are just full the Mr. B hate
You did a good job Mr B
I didn't know you knew how to use those tools
Back to the banning of hummus
Sweating out every last bit of water in body
Betsy hanging out breastfeeding and eating hummus
The interior of the house doesn't smell like dogs, cats or baby poop
It smells like Betsy's hummus death
It all came to me in a flash
I was embarrassed when your friends came over
Betsy's throat hummus fills the entire house
The real problem is that all the toothpaste in the world is poison
But, Jesus, the Tom's Natural Toothpaste is horrible
Elliot, "You can't eat the toothpaste. If you do it taste like you swallowed a plant."
Hippies shouldn't make anything that goes in your mouth
Neighbors cutting down trees again
We plant a tree, they cut down three
Now it is on our driveway as mulch
We debated for a long time, but the tree was going to fall down
Right, and your kids will die too
Was the tree sick?
The tree care guy said it had a patch of fungus that could grow
What sort of fear mongers must the tree care specialists be?
Trees will kill you in your sleep in the middle of the night
It is their favorite time to fall over and crush you
So what did I find in the river?
Here's crazy shit #997 that happens to me and Kris
I'll finish it on Wednesday's show

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Tags: Rainbow swingset Entourage Flight of the Conchords Abraham Lincoln cabin hummus death

Betsy and her husband Kris May 18, 2007

Fri, 18 May 2007 07:22:15 -0500

Croncast - 2007-05-18.mp3
Show: #364
Length: 25:44
Size: 17.6mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris May 18, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

Tickets for the live show in Naperville July 8th will be ready 20 minutes after this post
The comments are getting light
Look at what I bring to this show
Kris please don't put "farm animal antics" in the show notes
It doesn't happen to other people it happens to us
Yeah, the searches are out of control
Some people serious help and the internet tells me so
Today's top search result might make you sick
Put down your sandwich, coffee or beaker
I am not going to type it in the show notes . . . these 9 words will change your life forever
It's not sexy or anything, it is rather gross and I can't get it out of my head
Here it is . . . now listen to the show at 3:28 to hear it
It's just gross . . . and why put "fanny" in it
It had to come from an old man, a dirty old man
The proper term from his day as not to offend
I don't get it
Kris I don't want to talk about it anymore
I do think Betsy
I've been married to you for 10 years . . . you rarely think
The search result came from something that had the words in it
Betsy is reaching a level of zero success and possibly negative at this point
I've been telling you for years to stop working with the subdivision people
The treat my baby like crap
These people don't want you around
They are all a generation ahead of us
They make jokes about things . . . they must be bands
The block party is coming
Give me a paper and it will take me two minutes and I will lose it
I signed on for the newsletter Mr. B not record keeping
Their is this weird power struggle going on with the home owner's association board
Weeks and weeks to come together
Lack of Betsy putting out the signage
No once cares more than a week ahead of time
Can you make sure she checks her email
This is your abusive relationship . . . your Lifetime show, Betsy
He is a very weak president
I don't get it . . . don't put that on his tombstone
The prior conversation that puts them at odds against Betsy
Open invitation to join the board
You should have gotten up and left Booba . . . called them on the carpet
Doing it all by yourself
This is our bunco
Coordinating not to bring double desserts . . . are you kidding me
Every subdivision party is drunken daddy's walking around with their coolers
This whole thing is dram for you . . . I am sorry for you baby
Betsy passed her first hurdle in the race to get her real estate license
She's got skills from all of our experiences buying houses and the legal issues
The semi-exploding furnace that left us cold for 3 weeks in 2003
What should I do with my live Mr. B
Liz is coming to garage sale with me
You raised me to be a beast
Betsy's suburban burnout
Garage sale wisdom

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Tags: block parties suburban burnout farm animal antics search terms home owner's association

Betsy and her husband Kris May 09, 2007

Wed, 09 May 2007 04:12:13 -0500

Croncast - 2007-05-09.mp3
Show: #360
Length: 31:47
Size: 21.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris May 09, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

It's 4:15 am duh duh dah duh dah
I am sick like a mofo duh duh dah duh dah
My baby is too duh duh dah duh dah
She kicked me outta bed duh duh dah duh dah
And now here I sit duh duh dah duh dah
So happy I put the show together duh duh dah duh dah
Last night tweekely tweek tweek tweek
Now I'm gonna go duh duh dah duh dah
And find a place duh duh dah duh dah
To curl up and whine duh duh dah duh dah

We are going to do a live show here in Naperville . . . hopefully in July. We'd like to get about 40 people to come out so we can have the joint for about 2 hours. That means you need to get your friends to come out too. Let us know if you can swing it.

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Tags: dog pee in car Fast Food Nation Best of Show pescatarian diaper genie in mini van

my nose overfloweth - via twitter

Tue, 08 May 2007 07:48:49 -0500

caught whatever gigi has. I guess hand washing doesn't cut it when lifting snotty baby 200 times.

Tags: sick gigi

Hella code day

Sat, 14 Apr 2007 21:59:08 -0500

I spent the bulk of my free time today knocking out code on the site.

Things were just clicking today for some reason and I couldn't let it go. I think it is easier than ever to get to all the content in the site.

Maybe it's the Grinderman?

comments RSS feed and respective page
cleaned up all feeds and urls to make them more human readable - for example www.croncast.com/all.rss instead of www.croncast.com/feedbuffet/all/feed.php
setting feeds that are indexed by search engines to redirect to the internal Croncast search page if they are clicked from google, yahoo, aol and others (this is a big deal since many of the people clicking these links have no clue what rss is especially porno seekers. example page 3 of these google results search for "spice channel" resullt 21 is a keyword feed . . . copy the url and add it to your reader and it works no problem, click it and it will take you to the same results as the feed but only at the website, nice)
added the unique feed to the internal search results for those who have been referred by a search engine
added the unique feed to the internal search results for regular users button looks like this - example Kris Smith
created new includes for blog, podcast, news and all content archives so they can plug and play on any page
re-ordered the navigation
created a two new archive pages - one for navigation of all content with pseudo categories and the other as a master archive of shows by month
edited internal search results page to recognize when referrer is a search engine to display a message that explains what Croncast
added another adwords box to the search results after item 7 in the returned results
tons of other mundane stuff for tracking keyword feeds and referrers

Up for tomorrow

new rss page
moderated media rss (mmrss) creation tool, for listeners (it's going to be sick)
new contact page
new "people say" section for listeners to leave reviews
new db table to hold mobile browsers to redirect for rss

Tags: croncast mmRSS rss archives keyword rss feed rss seo rss redirect

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr 13, 2007

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 06:53:41 -0500

Croncast - 2007-04-13.mp3
Show: #349
Length: 36:01
Size: 24.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris April 13, 2007

Triscadecaphobes, yes it's Friday the 13th
Does that mean you are phobic of triscuits?
Afraid of woven wheat?
No, it means that I am afraid of Sandy Duncan
She's creepy
Smack her on the back of the head and one of those eyes is coming out
She's old lady porn, one eyed porn a new genre
I don't think so Booba
Edison was shooting that porn way back when
Getting back in to small town mode
All over a golden plump
Maybe that's how they get so plump
I grew up really, really small town
My folks weren't farmers . . . just passing through for the rest of their lives
He was held back
Other people are telling this story about you, just differently
He had the 13 year old creepy boy stache in 3rd grade
The epitome of backwoods Virginia
He had tight curly brownish/black hair
Might have been the fact that they didn't have running water in the house
Sometimes it's like someone dropped you off on a journey from the center of the earth
My dad raced stock cars at the county fair grounds on weekends . . . I'm class all the way
We would go out to their house
Push the car off the property to work on them on the gravel road
Wild animals in all the junk they
You had wild ferel cats in your yard . . . different baby, I lived in town
He's come out in his underwear and run around
Half a mile from the compound
Of course we have to push it off the property
I don't want a cupcake from you
Farms are junk car magnates
That's what we near Bear, a some property where we can abandon our shit
Making me hold it till we got home
They had the 21st century green toilet paint bucket with sawdust like your friend
You didn't catch him that's for sure
I spied him with his junk in his hand
Enjoying himself in nature and chickendom
What is he doing now? It's a success story
He was an Edison savant
You don't need electricity to run a phonograph
Gotta get rid of your bear plug Betsy
That is so gross
Great day for me Mr. B
My sisters kids were sick and I didn't have to babysit
They just don't get my sarcasm it washes over them
She looked at me blankly
Maggie thinks her name is moo moo
Today was the first day of garage sale season
Twins and triplets sale was training camp compared for this
They were there . . . my people
The Mexican guy in his Astro van with his kids on a school day
The Blue hairs early in line
I'm here for a free bowl of soup or the sale
She goes off about resellers and waking up early
She's 97 Kris, she's so old that she doesn't have an old AOL address
She's grandma1@webtv.com
That man has his kids helping him out
Thank you Mr. B it's a business
You can't match this flow
And there it is Mr. B
I was put on earth to do this
The Madeline in Paris Doll house with all the stuff
Why Wednesdays show sucked
Betsy had Elliot's neuropsych evaluation on her mind
They were really arguing that it was his semen that caused the problem
The genetic crap
Kids with medical issues
At a kids party you can pick the parents based on their behavior
Haven't you been tested for bipolar yet? You're eight! Shit could be going on up there
Join up with the Croncast Cronies . . . thanks Kelly C.

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Tags: Triscadecaphobes neuropsych chickendom garage sale season county fair grounds triscadecaphobia

Betsy and her husband Kris Feb 28, 2007

Wed, 28 Feb 2007 08:07:33 -0600

Croncast - 2007-02-28.mp3
Show: #343
Length: 39:12
Size: 26.9mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris February 28, 2007

It's the last show until April 2nd . . . and I am sick! Not on the show, but today.

Betsy and I want to thank all of you for listening, emailing, commenting and becoming close to us. Doing the show is something that we love to do and are amazed most of the time that it can bring people to laughing wildly and looking awkward in places like offices, trains, planes, cubes, cancer research labs or in their car when people pull up next to them and stare.

Starting later today there will be two nerdish ways to catch up on Croncast.

I will put up two new RSS feeds, one that will let you download 1 show per every weekday from the beginning of the show and another that is "Catch up with Croncast in 22 days". This RSS feed will deliver 1 of 22 shows on weekdays the entire month of March. It's like the first feed just for those who want to catch up quickly . . . if an entire month is quick!

And for those of you without the patience for either check out the archive page. The easiest way to download past shows is to subscribe to a set of 5 RSS feeds that I have put together and will have a little later today. That way you can download 'til your Croncast fix is met.

There are no show notes for today's show. Betsy and I have a great time to start off the show for 10 minutes and then get down to talking about something that made 2006 a very interesting year for us. You'll just have to listen to find out what that was.

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
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Tags: Croncast RSS archive feeds Croncast archive spending moderated media consumption

Taking time off when working from home

Thu, 22 Feb 2007 09:44:09 -0600

I realized this morning that it is impossible for me to take time off. I'm sick right now and wanted to take this morning off from work.

Things were off to a great start after downing some cough medicine last night and rolling out of bed at a late 7:30 a.m.. I did up some breakfast in the form of Weight Watchers bagels, sawdust and rubber flavor, and tried to do what Betsy does and watch tv. Observation . . . daytime tv will rot your brain and working from home means only one thing when tv give you little to no satisfaction. My options:

1) Leave the house - no, Fry's isn't open yet.
2) Check email - yes, simple ritual

And as fate would have it choice 2 welcomes me back to work with open arms. A tweak here, a conference call there and I am back where I began yesterday, a little hairier and rested. It is a no web cam day for sure.

Tags: working from home no web cam leave the house a little hairier Weight Watchers bagels

Songbird is the bitchinest podcast receiver ever

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 19:11:00 -0600

I'm not quite sure that is the way that the uber developers of the Songbird media player would put it but as a podcaster I have never seen a program that makes it this easy to subscribe to podcasts or get media from the web.

The best part is that the word 'podcast' isn't used anywhere in the vernacular associated with Songbird. I find it refreshing. I should probably be questioning it as a guy making a living from his podcast skills (hoy ya!). But damn if they haven't taken all the mystery out of receiving a podcast by simply saying, "Play the Web". No more explaining to newbies what a podcast is or how to download one.

Even in this post at Wired the word 'podcast' is conspicuously missing. I have said the word 'podcast' once every 15 minutes for the last two years . . . so not to see it associated with a media player would be a non-starter for me in downloading it.

They make receiving podcasts so simple. It can be done one of two ways:

1) Use the Songbird and navigate to the website that has mp3's and it finds them for you and allows you to subscribe to the site.

2) Go to 'File' >> 'New Subscription . . .' >> Type in the URL of a website or add an RSS feed >> Point to a folder >> Hit 'OK'

All of the associated media will then download in the background and be ready when you are to play. Sick. What would make it even sicker is RSS auto discovery. That way a subscription could be chosen for the for the feed which usually has many more files than the site alone.

I haven't been this excited about a technology or piece of software since I first found out about podcasting. My recommendation is that you go over to Songbird's site and download the developer version and get a taste of what's to come in liberated distribution . . . the liberated media player.

I might be showing up late to the party since they have been public for over a year, but for me this is a big day. Not only to evangelize for Songbird but for thinking about the next iteration of podcasting.

Tags: Songbird Songbird media player podcast receiver wired magazine Pioneers of the Inevitable

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 17, 2007

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 07:41:26 -0600

Croncast - 2007-01-17.mp3

Show: #328
Length: 29:50
Size: 20.5mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 17, 2007

Betsy starts the laughing early in the intro
What are you doing?
Kris isn't it about time you go to work
So, um it is day three and I already can't stand the site of you
I might rent you office space
Roll some orange extension cord out to the shed
You're monitor is so bright
Lift up your man boobs and let me see if there is a tan line
It's all been subterranean
The meat loaf made everyone sick
No, Mr. B it didn't
Carla got it
It is the 'socially unacceptable flu'
My insides are liquefying
What these people would look like in Banana Republic
Betsy has no personal space this week
Even if Elliot's skin is falling off tomorrow he's going to school
So this was problem . . . you in the basement taking up all this space
Elliot, Gigi, Zeus, Mom and Betsy all in the same space
Hey Kris, could you . . . and you disappear
Now the conversations are what the phone calls used to be at the office
She walks down and face to face
When are you going to be gone at your conferences
They are mini geek vacations
I'm really busy . . . and the you need to get the fuck out of here look
I don't have that look
Yeah you did Dough Boy
The mountain time zone difference
I'm trying to match the schedule
But I just started Betsy, it takes time
I should make you punch in and out Bears
The laundry, well the process of what it takes to get the laundry done
Betsy tells the story of Tiffany the chow
Making my way from the basement to the executive bathroom on the second floor
Maybe you and Maggie could go and get a job shoveling snow
I have had two jobs for the last 3 years . . . that isn't what I am telling you
Can you tell me the hours of my job?
Wind it down, yes I am
Why call 911 when giving birth?

Tags: subterranean husband Banana Republic flu smelly dog dough boy get out look

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 15, 2007

Mon, 15 Jan 2007 06:54:42 -0600

Croncast - 2007-01-15.mp3

Show: #327
Length: 29:45
Size: 20.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 15, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by Daniel Broad.
Daniel may be trying to kill me
"Tomorrow, your close call with crumpets," Betsy
The audio fidelity of Croncast
I'm a free man
No more corporate job
Now I can talk all the shit I want about my office mates . . . Betsy, Elliot, Gigi
And since you're my wife no sexual harassment suits
But if you keep up with the broken monitor thing
You go this geek cry baby phase
The water cooler moment
I hope this isn't how our conversations aren't going to be
Today starts podcasting job full time
Where did that weird conversation guy go
The new monitor screen is brighter than the sun
This monitor makes Kris happy
The screen real estate . . .
It is shooting geek happy rays from the screen
Gateway is working to chemically alter nerds
Elliot vs. the salmon
Kris, "Maybe tomorrow we can look for salmon flavored candy . . . salmon flavored yogurt."
Elliot, "I am going to puke."
Vomitus a lotus commences
Fish floater story
Do fish really have floaters
I never did eat the brussel sprouts as a kid
The sound of the electric knife
That is how I knew it was time to eat at Grandma's during the holidays
Betsy is sick and so are the kids
The foreigners are trying to kill me
That four letter word that starts with 's' that drives Betsy . . . sale
Betsy can't find a sales person
The bar stool dance
Now the German chocolatier are after Kris
Choked with a Riesen chocolate
Pluses of being a chubster, strong throat hole
Evidently I hadn't been breathing for a bit
Sunday night is back for HBO with Rome

Tags: Elliot vs. salmon screen real estate fish floater Riesen candy Rome on HBO

Betsy and her husband Kris Dec 06, 2006

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 07:01:24 -0600

Croncast - 2006-12-06.mp3

Show: #310
Length: 22:43
Size: 15.6 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris December 06, 2006

Today's show is short and for good reason. We had to push to even get this recorded due to a fussy dog and me being sick still. It reminded me of having the kids around while doing the show.

Tags: creeper stank perma kennel used car salesman i might want to be a beautician my girlfriend

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 30, 2006

Mon, 30 Oct 2006 06:08:43 -0600

Croncast - 2006-10-30.mp3

Show: #291
Length: 39:32
Size: 27.1 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris October 30, 2006

Think about this . . . it is your right to leave us a comment
Regular Spam vs. regular email vs. the Russian insane spam
How do you run a filter on Russian spam?
Betsy says to find a translator to fix it
Do you read them right to left, left to right
Friday was big doin's all around
WE HIT THE 300 NEW LISTENER MARK!!
New listener winner: Adam Martin
Handle winner: Melanie Sullivan
Congratulations guys!
We're still giving away 2 more video iPods on the 300th show check out the contest stuff
The initial 300th winner wasn't the real 300th
Melanie and her husband had a plan and pulled it out
Someone asked how many of these people are sticking around?
The number is 219 for return RSS users . . . so over 2/3'rds are hanging out
So other big Friday news . . . it was my last day my job
Start a new gig today while you're reading this
Big Friday doin's continued
Never mentioned much about the old job won't mention much about this one
Betsy is all happy about it
Betsy decides that she never wants to work again
She's become complaisant and even more hard headed
Basically she is going to retire at 30
Overwhelmed by her daily life and that is enough for ever
Kris when you turned 31 did that happen to you?
The floor cleaning guy story . . . I might have told this before
Shopping with Kris
Daddy really wanted the best for you but momma wanted you to match her QVC
Kris has a negative aura
They just walked away from the register
People look at me at get pissed
I'm so sick of hearing how mean the world is to Kris
Lifters in groups and Betsy's got her eye on them
When I did retail up the employees ran elaborate scams
Was it the party or was it the people
Halloween party for adults . . . we were gonna be Dog the Bounty Hunter and wife
No bare chested Kris this year
Betsy loves to dress herself funny
Trying to make a ham slice last 3 days

1) Fill out the appropriate form for you - *New* Listener or Get a Handle (current listener)
2) Verify your email address (Activates and qualifies those with a "Handle")
3) *New* listeners get activated and qualified by using their special RSS feed
4) 300th new listener and the person whose Handle they use win iPods AND
5) A drawing for 2 more iPods from everyone who entered!

Tags: QVC Dog the Bounty Hunter ham slice Melanie Sullivan Adam Martin

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 23, 2006

Mon, 23 Oct 2006 21:59:05 -0500

Croncast - 2006-10-23.mp3

Show: #288
Length: 11:29
Size: 7.91 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris October 23, 2006

Tonight's show comes off more as a table of contents for Wednesday. Like I posted earlier I am trying to kick what is either some bad food . . . see photo above or altitude sickness or a cold. See you in a couple days.

Tags: Colorado Boulder, CO snowy mountains liberal cage-free eggs