sledding | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

Buy the Classico, 3 Sizes Too Small, Comedy Classes

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 15:30:56 -0600

Show: #556
Length: 28:01
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Exchange rate issues
We gotta get a sliding scale together
Europeans are paying like 25 cents a month
And other countries like $1m a month
We gotta hook this up for those on the $1m
How much is gallon of milk?
We go sledding in Central Park
We're all there sledding away
She asks what to do next?
I told her I'm going to Costco
Snow hurricane
CNN got it all wrong
It was there own snow machines
Park rangers wandering around
Sledding with sky scrapers
Central Park heaven
You gotta get the Classico
Your husband will be mad
If I add more milk to the easy Mac they love it
The street blew up!
I thought I was next
Pile it all next to the restaurant
Betsy starts classes at Upright Citizens Brigade
Men can't buy their own underwear
They gave you a man panty line
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: upright citizens brigade exchange rate man panty line sledding central park

Season 23 Ep 21: Croncast Sizampler

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 15:29:20 -0600

Show: #556-Sampler
Length: 4:43
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

Tags: upright citizens brigade exchange rate man panty line sledding central park

Season 19 Ep 11: Walzer A., Buffalo Days, The Coffee Drinker

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 10:51:22 -0600

Croncast - 2008-02-01.mp3
Show: #457
Length: 26:13
Size: 18.1mb
Format: mp3

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The Resale Queen Podcast is now here!
Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

About the Wednesday show
We were recording and the phone was ringing off the hook
Call from Walzer A
So this is Wednesday's show
Yeah, it was your sister calling
Brother-in-law lost his job
And the three mother hens showed up at his house
I did not envy him at all
It is getting more and more crowded in this boat
Your mom told you that you need to take care of this
I couldn't think of a more depressing situation
I wouldn't have come home
I would have went out at 8 am and got a beer
Where? This isn't Milwaukee
I would have waited that shit out
You are telling me that I am a born leader
I was telling myself that I glad you all weren't here
This is how it goes down in my dysfunctional family
My entire life I have had to be the man
What?
You shoveled in the middle in a snow storm
You can't even tell you shoveled
Doing it repeatedly doesn't make sense
At 4:30 am our neighbor fired up his snow blower
Ridiculous
Some men wake up with motivation, Kris
What would you do if it were a chainsaw?
Then he started cutting down trees
Well, hell he was motivated
Oh, baby
I tossed pup pup in a snowbank
What for?
To send to the TV station
Are you serious?
Well, I did send it
The auto response email was "Thanks for sending to KABC 7 Los Angeles"
Your snowy dog will be on in LA
You dogs suck
Jorge would be restricted to humane society
Ass end up in a garbage can
That is what we should have called the Resale Queen show
Yesterday, I almost slipped and died
Good things that dumpsters are heavy
How come they don't shovel by them?
I am going to open Dumpster Land
A theme park for you and your people
The dangers that you face everyday
It can't be packing peanuts
There is no Calvin pissing on nothing
What stickers would the truck have?
Did the new trucks ever roll out to La Moille?
I though i shouldn't ask because it would be sad
There was a time that they did come out
No one can tie a knot in this town
Ending up in the county jail
Swanson's baby
Onions in the peas
They came to town for Buffalo Days
The quaint small town festivals in movies, lies
There's no tax base to support that
Basketball game in a gravel pit
I grew up across from a buffalo pasture
Did you ride buffalo instead of ponies?
Did they chain them to a claw foot tub to slow them down?
From kindergarten to graduation at 14
Let me run the tilt-a-whirl
I would be right there
Ending up with a corn cob in his bibs
Might be dangerous but in a small town that's fun
Being pulled on sled behind cars
Watching the console in a lawn chair
I have sat in the back of a Chevy and bounced across fields
We didn't do donuts in a Wal Mart parking lot
It was a small town
Ok, K-Mart
That would have been a 30 mile commute
I know you rode in the back of a pickup truck on the way to a K-Mart
Yes, I did
CB radios in those days, figuring out who the coffee drinker was
Your mom would have a handle

View Kris's resume or download it

Tags: buffalo snowy dog LaMoille Resale Queen sledding

Season 19 Ep 3: Wheel of Fortune, Mailmen, Mrs. Coach

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 08:56:44 -0600

Croncast - 2008-01-11.mp3
Show: #449
Length: 28:23
Size: 19.5mb
Format: mp3

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Leave us a comment anytime
After reading the comments I am starting to feel sad
Kris, don't feel sad . . . you'll change your mind
Real reasons
We just do it, it's become part of our day
We've become part of that
It's like a radio station
And they are playing Rod Stewart
What? Kris you have lost your mind
Would you rather I say Nazareth "Hair of the Dog"?
What are you talking about?
You should pre-screen your thoughts
Like a celebrity does
Wive's would love these things
Coming back from the long break
Saying things as opposed to telling stories
It was your birthday it made for a weird show
I have to go to the bank
I noticed you didn't buy your own cake
Yes, I needed to step it up and buy one
The bank was a ruse
Turns out the cake was frozen
Much like you
I couldn't really cut it
I told the kids it was an ice cream cake
I forgot to buy candles
Yeah, you made me blow out a lighter
It wasn't just a Bic
This is why being married to you is difficult
You should just say what I think
Kris starts telling Elliot about the lighter
All I can think is shut up, idiot
He doesn't need to know that stuff
I thought about the house burning down
You gotta pull the thing back and click
Mr B. I am so worried about the Wheel of Fortune audition
What am I going to wear?
What am I going to do with my hair?
I think you are projecting a bit
I am going to start combing my eyebrows over my forehead
I hit 33 and my eyebrows are out of control
Big eyebrows are creepy
I didn't say mono-brow
You think the producers are looking for middle America
A mom with pizzaz
I'm not sure I buy that
Maybe you should watch the show
Men wear suits . . . the same on that they wear to funerals and weddings
All the women wear pins
That reminds me of the coach story when you were helping Andy shop
Leave it up to your mom
She'll just buy it off QVC for you
The UPS man, the mail man and the garbage man all have our numbers
QVC delivered twice a day around here
The mail man knows everything that goes on in your life
She's got QVC on the tv and the laptop
The guy from the Queer Eye show is on, she yells
We wake up every Wednesday morning to breaking glass
The garbage man hates us
The QVC bags all end up scattered around the cul de sac
When I was a kid we got the neighbors mail for a week
I knew that he wasn't paying his bills
Water is a luxury
He spent all of his money on Jaguars and software
Baby, you got unfinished projects everywhere
It's typically the man
Feigning the CWI to watch prison shows
It was a very serious sledding injury
I can wear chest pads
Keeping up with the IRS
Just one of those things
Monday you be blinded by my bespangled sweater and snow man pin
I need to seem charming and wholesome
Don't tell them about the podcast
I already did
Well then you need to be yourself
Jeanie said I won't be funny in a pant suit
I disagree you would look very funny in a pant suit

Tags: Nazareth QVC Rod Stuart Wheel of Fortune Mrs. Coach

Season 19 Ep 1: Big man small sled, CWI, Guilt

Mon, 07 Jan 2008 11:36:44 -0600

Croncast - 2008-01-07.mp3
Show: #447
Length: 28:54
Size: 19.9mb
Format: mp3

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We're Back!!
Fake intro
New intro
New show art also
Welcome to what we're calling, 'Season 4'
We gotta keep it fresh
The show turns out to be a huge part of our lives
We interact through the show
You don't talk to me about your life
Now all you want is for me to be your 'manny' and watch the kids
We need the show for sharing with one another
Some really hilarious things happened
Painful for me
I am still in pain
You whiney monkey, hush
I get to call him out on this fakey, fakey shit
Can I tell the story?
Sure, give it your shot
You won't be able to do it
So you went to Elliot's holiday play
You left early
And guilty you should be
I had to leave!
No you didn't, you are unemployed
I'm literally being drug under a semi by you
I can't tell you about my secret he tells us
I never heard grand finale
Kris cuts out early, early
Let me tell this story
You are unemployed, you have no business
You shouldn't even look at your watch, bub
And yes, I felt guilty
So you decided to take him sledding
Let me tell this story
I go sledding with the man at 'Winter Mountain'
It's a snowboard hill near the house
It goes like this . . .
Big man on a small sled
Big man meets mogul and ground with his chest
This hill is getting bigger and bigger and Kris
Why where you sledding Kris?
You are an adult
When I landed on my side it sounded like bubble wrap popping
My chest was burning and I was out of breath
Right and you call me!!! Me!!!
I am trying to rest
You would have been better off with a Hefty back greased with Crisco
So you refuse to go to the emergency room
Days later you are still in pain
It was killing me
I was trying to be tough for my son
Kris, I put myself in danger for you
For absolutely nothing I did it
There was no red snow
You weren't dead or dying
I finally get you Urgent Care
After x-rays
Remember to take deep breaths
You have a 'Chest Wall Injury'
Kris you have a CWI!!!!
WTF, that isn't real!
I learned that I am made of dough
I am out of shape and things that moved weren't supposed to

Two news items:

1) We talked about changing up the show but couldn't come up with a format other than what we've got. So we're going to continue on until we reach our 500th show in about 5 months. If we do any shows after that they are bonus.
2) We're starting a new weekly podcast January 19th delivered every Saturday. It will be a ResaleQueen podcast focused on, well, what else but resale issues.

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
Look for the graphic on "Audience Survey" on the main page

Tags: Season 4 Urgent Care Hefty bags sledding CWI

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 27

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 10:36:59 -0600

Croncast - 2005-01-25.mp3

Show: #60
Length: 34:56
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 16.0 mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 27

Today we snag Betsy for an extra show this week dedicated to the loyal Tuesday and Thursday listeners of Croncast. We get into buying a house and the tricks to know when the deal has gone bad, bundle of shout outs to the likes of Casey, Tom Pokey, Drew and Dave Miller, Betsy telling the vet she is a German Shepherd to get some work done, the value of Legos and the super sledding hill.

Today's Show

Show notes soon.

Tags: croncast betsy kris ep husband