sleep | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

Sleep Weeper, Sodium, Schnauzer Sweater

Wed, 20 Apr 2011 11:49:43 -0500

Episode: #731 | Length:26:42 | Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

It is a very funny episode.

Tags: betsy smith kris smith new york nyc the good

Smoking or Circus, With Letter, Sleep Stack

Mon, 04 Apr 2011 10:40:28 -0500

Episode: #724 | Length:27:48 | Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Smoking or circus
Give him a letter
I'd sleep there
Taking a class for it
It's a way out
Chibeca

Tags: croncast best of 2010 funniest podcast longest episode

Air Spooning, Hobo Minefield, Second Husband

Mon, 12 Jul 2010 11:19:33 -0500

Episode: #651
Length: 30:00
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Kris with a 'K'
Gotta go real old on it
Kris Smith is all over the place
Now he's got a baby
Underwear model takes Google Juice
Your mate should have Google Alerts for you
If they don't, they don't love you
Not meant to be
Hobos in the park
He drove his remote control car through them
They all sleep air spooning
It was a Hobo minefield
Lying to your own kids
They believe the lies and not the truth
That's not a joke
Second husband, first date questions

Tags: second husband air spooning telling lies kris smith google alerts

Season 26 Episode 01: The Croncast Shorty

Mon, 12 Jul 2010 11:11:55 -0500

Episode: #651 The Croncast Shorty
Length: 4:11
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

Tags: second husband air spooning telling lies kris smith google alerts

Tiara Swap, Dead Cabbie, The Spicy

Wed, 16 Jun 2010 14:27:35 -0500

Episode: #640
Length: 32:18
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Shrink that tiara in the dryer
It will fit her soon enough
Toddlers and Tiaras
That was such a mistake
Spray tans
Give me the iPad, I need to find a dress the judges will like
She has that killer instinct
Explaining a dead cabbie
Told them he was just asleep
No way he survived
Checking in on 4sq
Cant' stand it
Just tell me what you're eating
I can take the spicy
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: dead cabbie toddlers and tiaras spray tans twitter checkin

Season 25 Episode 15: The Croncast Shorty

Wed, 16 Jun 2010 14:21:29 -0500

Episode: #640 The Croncast Shorty
Length: 5:02
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

Tags: dead cabbie toddlers and tiaras spray tans twitter checkin

Legless Junker, iPad Love, Birthday Booze

Sat, 10 Apr 2010 11:21:46 -0500

Episode: #612
Length: 29:00
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Fixing the iPhone streaming issue
Apple is tough on this
One day it just quit working
I feel like the worm in the Apple
I have a new enemy, Kris . . . red wine
I've seen you use a Night Train bottle as a pillow
Can you just breathe in my face
Birthday party and free booze
You lack control
Drinking with the ladies means sleeping on the bathroom floor
You are 34
That is too classy
You can't throw up in front of the baby sitter
Your pillow next to the bath tub
5 feet 9 and your feet are hanging out into the hallway
If I took a photo people would think it's a crime scene
The last time I got that drunk . . .
Please, do you hear yourself
Well, you're not a lady
Love hanging with the nerds
You can't bring McDonalds in the cab when you're gonna puke
We were like two Hummers walking down the sidewalk
Chatting with the baby sitter
I love your iPad
I am going to wear the same clothes out tonight
After I spray myself with Febreeze
Back to Illinois
Garage sale times
He passed me
Legless junker
The 1995 Barbie was the prize
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: birthday booze baby sitter iPad love legless junker custom scooter

Season 24 Ep 12: Croncast Shorty

Sat, 10 Apr 2010 11:07:32 -0500

Episode: #612 The Croncast Shorty
Length: 4:34
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

Tags: birthday booze baby sitter iPad love legless junker custom scooter

The New York Days Begin, Feral Las Vegas Cats, Costco Lust

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 12:45:58 -0600

Show: #536
Length: 40:05
Format: mp3

Thank you!
To all those that are cool . . . you rock!
If you're not cool, you can get cool
Why start on the 13th?
I can't avoid the number - I should embrace it
It's always in my address
Homeless guy that sleeps in front of only that address
Working on the streaming version player
Will be ready by Friday
How should I know that 3XL in gay is in XL?
I thought things were fancy in Naperville
Until I experienced Elliot's public school
Can anyone ring the bell at NYSE or NASDAQ?
Grammy tickets?
Where is this place and who are these people?
Having a nice car in New York
She has a huge Range Rover
What are we?
We're the Walking Class
Party at the wine bar for the parents
I don't have a baby sitter
No worries, my nanny can watch your kids too
Thanks but I can't get there
Don't worry my husband has a car service
I was just at Costco, you bitch
No idea how I would even get there
The suburban delights are missing here
No alone time here
What kind of hell is to be in Las Vegas for a week
You would sleep with a girl named Debra
I did leave Miss Debra to do her thing
My hotel turned out to be a motel
And yes it had feral cats
I could hear water dripping
Sure, that was the dead hooker in the wall
Fresh sponge paint on everything
If you had been raised with a vagina
You never would have accepted that room
Setting me for slaughter
I thought I was dead
You have a story to tell me Mr B
Friday, baby
It is too long
You went to a penthouse party in Las Vegas
No, a Penthouse party in the VIP
I've got no idea how to describe it

Tags: Get Cool NYSE The New York Days Miss Debra No tell motel

sleep 42 downing street

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 18:44:41 -0500

Tags: street downing sleep

Season 22 Ep 02: Gothar, Alaskan Nomads, Ham Ketchup Sandwich

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 11:26:05 -0500

Croncast - 2009-04-17.mp3
Show: #527
Length: 24:15
Size: 22.3 mb
Format: mp3

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Bringing it on the Friday!
That's a post, this is a post I know that I am fabulous
Helps promote the show
Give these people a chance
Then the audience swells
My kids can't sleep
More popular than Wired magazine daddy's
I can make a super sandwich
For your daughter
The ham and ketchup sandwich
Fulfilling her need "Scooby Doo Style"
That's on you
Appaloosa is where I am going
Let's count down your shiny chasing skills
Glad you can admit them
You are my little raccoon
Betsy is going to be on the Radio Shopping Show
Gotta give the back story
Rubeeen had been there to show us
Pet a lizard Sure he'll bring the salmonella to your front door
This is my favorite lizard, Gothar
Sure, he's gotta pack the lizards
It's totally worth two hundred bucks
The party phenomenon
Turn it all into a party
What kind of burner are you?
Pipeline or bust
They were on the bust side
We have a token listener in Alaska
Don't even try
Nomad in some populations, transient in our community
I was just that good

Tags: lizard food gothar alaska wired ham sandwich

Season 21 Ep 12: Triscadecaphobic, Mental Sabbatical, Rescue Animals

Fri, 13 Feb 2009 12:49:11 -0600

Croncast - 2009-02-13.mp3
Show: #512
Length: 24:13
Size: 22.3 mb
Format: mp3

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This show brought to you by Affordable Promotions
I won't say the date
A bit triscadecaphobic are we?
As usual
I know how this goes
It's a big business day
The cyclical nature of our moon phases matched with a Friday the ____
Happy Valentines Day Mr B
I'm going to buy you a gross of coffee mugs with my face on them
Great, I could sell them at Starbucks or a quarter
WachterBach haul
Sounds like a Worcester sauce
Pfaltzgraff and a fancy brand called Kimberly-Clark
Getting the freezer
"I remember that like it was yesterday"
That makes you old
The recall feature to tell the stories properly
Hercules came to me while I was sleeping
The stories that people tell about their rescue animals
What is going on with Facebook?
Everyone is showing up
All of your past infested lovers
I can see my friend that is now on a mental sabbatical

Tags: mental sabbatical moon phases triscadecaphobic wachterbach

Season 21 Ep 03: Obama Eve, Tigers and Stripes, Funding Love

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 16:03:57 -0600

Croncast - 2009-01-19.mp3
Show: #502
Length: 35:56
Size: 33.0mb
Format: mp3

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This show brought to you by Podiobooks.com
Me and the man are calling it a guys night . . . no show notes
None really needed because Besty is all Obama and I play devil's advocate
I'll be sleeping in the shed

Tags: Obama collector coins tiger stripes obama eve

Season 20 Ep 19: San Francisco Part 2, The Meetup

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 14:25:08 -0500

Croncast - 2008-06-04.mp3
Show: #494
Length: 41:59
Size: 28.8 mb
Format: mp3

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We're back for part two of San Francisco
The pre pre-school baby is in a kissing phase
She kissed a diseased baby
Then she kissed me and now I am infected
Other than daddy just do
I can blame it on her cuz I got the documentation
Her encrusted nostril in photos
I could track back the vector of my illness
Yes, you are the carriers
Listen to Croncast, "They argue with one another in their basement"
We rank with NPR shows in the post
How are we different than any other shows?
Funnier
Let the woman talk
No love for this man
I didn't get a party when I was there
Heading to the meetup at House of Shields
What if no one shows up?
People were bound to show up
Four people showed up
I am so glad that I disappointed you in a positive way
David, Sam, Russ and Katherine

The Meetup: Left to Right: Russ, Sam, Katherine (in back), David, Betsy (in blue), Jeanie

David has been listening for a long time
A very long time
He was in college, birthday, marriage to attorney
Look back at things that have happened while we have been doing the show
Schlomo gave us the space
It was dark, with a kicked over chair
That is HoS
Russ got a pre-smoking ban chair with an ashtray built into it
This is where we made the mistake
We started drinking right away, heavily
Jeanie kept up with me drink for drink
Mind you she is one third my size
We left the meetup to go dancing
More drinks
Then Jeanie starts dancing with a bearded Marylin Monroe
Having a great time and we stiffed them on the cab
Just drunk bitches we were
We gotta get to sleep
We have things to do the next day
We surface at 10 am
Jeanie didn't get out of bed till 3
I see a pattern with your Jeanie vacations
Remember Chef Jeff?
Back in my skinny days
Now I'm chubby
There's a food shortage I'm good for 8 weeks
At 8pm Mrs. and Mrs Smith are going to hop on a romantic cruise
They should have named it, "The Good Ship Jagermeister"
A little romantic music for you
If I tried to do that with my friends Evan or Mike
So the next day we rent a car
And we end up dumped in a pile of homeless people
They're like day of the dead zombies
Here comes the scariest wican beast i have ever seen in my life
This weather beaten hag pops up in the window
Shit happens, some people aren't what you expect
Are we on the road to Guerneville?
You can't do that with a kind vegan sister
A big coin receptacle
"I'm saving up to clone my cat, donations welcome"

Tags: San Francisco Guerneville Betsy Smith Jeanie Bowen meetup

Season 20 Ep 16: Sellers Hate Hoarders, not the Game, Golf Stance

Wed, 14 May 2008 07:20:58 -0500

Croncast - 2008-05-14.mp3
Show: #491
Length: 19.7
Size: 28:40 mb
Format: mp3

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Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2008 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

Betsy "Classified Ads" Smith
That is your new name
You're like silly putty
Let me see your palm
I guarantee that their is an ad transfered to it
Did I see a Happy Mother's Day Classified ad?
Nope
Did I sleep on a floor for you?
Mr B I am going to kick your ass
I don't want to hit golf balls
Then I win by default
You are very competitive
My brilliant delightful wife made it rain golf balls
I thought it would be like a coffee machine
I wanted a cute paper basket with a handle
The second of the idiots is now here
They should put up a sign
There was a sign I am sure
Based on how you played it should be bright pink
You are so full of crap
I couldn't put my arms around you
Resting in your schwetty palms
A boy at the disco
You missed the ball completely
Then I got it dialed in
I was the winner no doubt
The driving range isn't on my to do list
If you had one we would have been doing the next
I am a bald man, I don't need to be sleeping on carpet
The divets on my head were too much
I won't make you sleep on the floor
Call you Betsy "Lemon Juice" Smith
This is my super bowl weekend
Where is the sale this weekend?
Bears, 23 consorted sub divisions all at once
They have a consortium of sub divisions?
Yes
Betsy now reads the classifieds
Leaving your boxes on the driveway
Somebody is going to steal them
UPS picked them up
Are you sure?
What are the rules?
You show up first and the item is your's
They might share a bag Gardetto's
You have done this to her
Bird Lady I am going to get you
I am going to walk around with

Tags: silly putty classified ads sub division consortium

Season 20 Ep 7: Koi Pond of Death, Kipp, Horticulture Authority

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 10:01:19 -0500

Croncast - 2008-04-18.mp3
Show: #482
Length: 26:40
Size: 18.3 mb
Format: mp3

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Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2007 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

Kris is all business all the time
I am business baby even when I sleep
You're on Twitter 24/7
I was dreaming about API's
That is why I slept through the earthquake
Why you should be like me
Fifth graders would listen
It is like dreaming about math
What parent wouldn't say, "I would like my kid dreaming about math"
You can't negative criticism
The survey we ran for one year
The likes and dislikes are finally available
It's not that
"He laughs at nothing"
The laugh is used to fill in the gaps
Go back and listen to the first few shows with gaps
No one is addicted to your laugh
I say addicted to laughing in general
It is good for you
Adam Curry released some demographic data
So with that I will release all survey that we did later today
STICKERS - first 10 people to send me their address from the contact page
GET - a sticker
Swearing was a thing we did a lot of
We've gone through iterations
Your mom draining her tub
My options were here or next to the sump pump
The outdoor work began around here
Anything I try to do never works
We know this Betsy
The neighbor's chemically altered grass
The grass is smart it knows not even to cross property line
Raised timber bed
Longtime listeners might remember the coi pond
The koi pond of death
I hire them to clean up the yard, remove some timbers and edge my mulch
People that run their own business have psychological problems
They do it because they can't get a normal job
Anybody can be a landscaper
Kipp's Lawn Repair
Kipp is name of death
Just says drug habit
I ask him for a quote
He's a horticulture authority
You could sell his rotten lumber
ReplacementDeckParts.com
That should be your next business
Green has become a scam in many ways
AAA1 Steve
Are you bonded?
Yes, I've posted bond before
Oh, no
That sort of happened with the Comcast guy
He'd done time
Or as he said, "I did a bit"
He hadn't seen his kids in years
That TV would fit right out that window
I got my eye on them
I don't trust them ever
Betsy is soo like Daniel Day-Louis in There Will Be Blood
Upton Sinclair wrote the book just for you
Would you quit junking for $1 million?
I couldn't do it
That would only last you 3-4 months, Kris
Right, 50ould go to the divorce
Banking where you used to live
You mail stuff to your bank?
Well, it's an hour long drive

Tags: Koi Fish croncast stickers horticulture authority Upton Sinclair Daniel Day-Louis

Visit Sudan with Daniel Patterson

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 09:28:58 -0500

I met Daniel a few months ago and thought I would share video and links to some others from his globe trotting UN Tour. This is a great set of videos.

A little background, Daniel is the Chief New York and United Nations Correspondent / Social Media Evangelist for Talk Radio News Service and a skilled podcaster.

Tags: United Nations Talk Radio News Service Daniel Patterson Sudan truck

Season 19 Ep 21: John Adams, Hershey's Floor, Lock Picking Kit

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 08:30:15 -0500

Croncast - 2008-03-17.mp3
Show: #468
Length: 30:01
Size: 20.7mb
Format: mp3

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It's been a couple weeks
It's good to hear your voice baby
Stasis soon, I said
That was work
Thanks to Josh Bancroft for the message
Betsy was just attacked
It is no one else's fault but yours
You are to blame
I was watching a show about John Adams on HBO
Which is a sign your balls are reaching your knees
What were you watching?
Oprah's Big Give
I heard it is horrible
Yeah, it is pretty bad
Mom decided to go to bed
I thought I would pick up her old dog and carry it upstairs
I am talking about my empathy for this cold hearted bitch
I reach down to pick up the dog
And what do I get
That bitch attacked me with her one good tooth
She inserted it viciously into the palm of my hand
I got the hysterical laughs
Don't make me put the dog to sleep
She was laying on a piece of Zeus's bone
That is why she bit
I know
This is on page one of your baby book
Your mom tried to get your dad to do something he shouldn't
You love chaos in your life
Why else would I be married to you?
You look at a situation that appears to be calm
And you can find the chaos
How can you disagree with me?
I can't
That brings me to a story Mr. B
Jeanie is moving on up
Up where
Here you doofus
You neglected to notice that your children aren't in school
You have set precedence with this
Yeah, I have dropped him off twice with no school
Hello
So we take Elliot with us to go and look at rental homes
That is a good idea
Jeanie calls up a property management company
We have three houses lined up
Is that foreshadowing? Is that what they call it in the biz?
For $1100 a month what do you get?
The lemon yellow peeling paint house
It was made for a Model A
If you kick out the stick it all would have fell down
Couldn't tell where the house was
How could you not?
We saw it and the Psycho music played
Jeanie is polite
We went through with it
Why?
Maybe there is something fabulous here
Gluttons for punishment you are
I used to launch my He-Man action figure from the cloths line
Nifty, I feel robbed
If you only had one He-Man toy why did you treat him so bad?
They would have changed my name to Poindexter
You'll understand that when we open the side door
It was a smelly out of Cops house
The poor wife who was shackled to the bastard who owned
I am going to laugh because I am scared
Different paint in rooms
Different borders
This one looks like your mom put it up after a bottle of Smirnoff and Scope
The boards on the floor didn't even touch
No one sanded the floor they just painted it brown
It was a Hershey's floor with gaps
Slops of brown
At the next house he can't find the key
He busts out a lock picking kit
The place looks beautiful
But we see a ring around the walls
It had flooded and they never cleaned it up
I looked behind the wet bar
There were mushrooms growing out of the baseboards

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

Tags: He Man Jeanie lock picking kit rental house Oprah's Big Give

Flat Irons Snow 2006

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 13:26:26 -0600

I just found a set of photos from a trip that Betsy and I took to Boulder in October of 2006.

We went to sleep at night and there wasn't a single flake on the ground. When we woke this is what everything looked like.

Tags: ski week boulder, co flake gated community amante

Season 19 Ep 4: Volvo Petting Zoo, Butter Dish, The Wheel

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 08:20:21 -0600

Croncast - 2008-01-14.mp3
Show: #450
Length: 38:50
Size: 26.7mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

New intro music keeps on rolling along
Posts are the items in the site
I think you lost dad at upload
That could be the catch phrase from a nerd movie
"You had me at upload"
Having the love of a nerd is like that of a Golden Retriever
The red in their eyes
Like the bloodhounds
We'll get your's fixed someday
You can get side by side
And then I'll get you plastic surgery, the both of you
We do dis and dis, but not dis
I should have bitten his face
We took the dogs to the groomer
Changing deaf dogs name every three weeks
What does it matter?
You know what happens to 15 dogs right?
Sure, they die
No
The dog is walking around with cancer and a 13th nipple
Dog groomers should know better and look for lumps
The number one thing that gets skipped is the finger in the butt
No one wants to drain a dog
Let fail you
Betsy likens web designers with Goodwill
The two handed dog shave
Like she was swinging a bat
The last time they cut off a mole
It was like a half-dollar size
Don't feed her by hand
She wants to even the score
How many times has this dog been to the pound?
Thirteen times
Mom is nuts when we go to vet or groomer
Sure, your dog is big and he pees on your knees
When we hit the door little deaf dog freaked
I didn't realize she was that aware
Of course she is
Then my mom takes on the trauma of the dog
I know from the Dog Whisperer that is not how to act
The dog wants someone to lead
First of all, she's deaf
I want you to write that in big block letters
She needs to be drained, I can tell
Then she feels guilty for bringing in the dog
I know how this goes
Then my mom will decide to put the dog to sleep
It only has one duty . . . eat what Maggie drops
I swear Shih Tzus were designed to catch spaghetti on their head
Just do what is least invasive
Gonna put in a Jarvik .021?
In six months we'll be Shih Tzu shopping again
Your mom is the Kevorkian of the dog adoption world
I got Wheel of Fortune auditions today!!
I know you are so excited
The sounds you were making when you got the email
If I win money I'm buying a goat
This here is the only petting zoo in the entire nation delivered to you in a Volvo
Designer outlet mall parking lots would never be the same
Two dollars, don't touch my goat
You need to be comfortable
What not to do
I was freaking because I thought from your yell something was happening
Sure, like Maggie went face first into a hot stove
Nope, just The Wheel
Eeyor tells you how to overcome your fear of success PBS special
What happens when Betsy is on and knows it?
You get too over the top . . . just catch yourself and reel it in
Kris, quit with the analogies
I say this as your number one fan
I have been there for every party where you hold court
You'll be fine
Marcus hits my cart
He says, "who the hell are you?"
I ask where the butter dish is at
His reply, "Oooooooo oooooOOOO"
The manager walks up and taps me on the shoulder, "did you see that doll house?"

Tags: dollhouse Shih Tzu dog groomer butter dish Kevorkian

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 19, 2007

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 09:46:14 -0600

Croncast - 2007-11-19.mp3
Show: #435
Length: 34:52
Size: 23.9mb
Format: mp3

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Baby, I been 33 for a week and realized something
You are beautiful
You've go a style all your own
Did senility set in?
You've got the reverse mullet
I need to get this woman a PBR
You got the part up front and business in the back
A very serious paradigm shift
So sorry for you sucka
You gots to see the business coming
You have requested I sell everything I own
Mine, my stuff
I bring up your rings
What did you tell me, Betsy?
Yeah, whatever
You can get your second wife bigger rocks than these
Diamond guns
I'll have diamonds falling out of my shirt sleeves
And now after taxes we can live off of it for a month
Spending money breathing
Garrick said, "It's expensive to wake up in the morning."
Paying to get through the day
Gotta get paid while you sleep
People do buy it now while I am snoring away
We bought ourselves a little time
Thanks to Chris Brogan, Rob Shore, John C Havens and others for leads
Head over to Croncast.com and check my resume
Oh, what are you doing?
Big stress doesn't lend itself to thinking about the holidays
His TV is buying a doll and a fruit tray
I'm queen of the wives
Speaking of this
Evan and I got into trouble with this last week
"what do you wives do?"
We said "Naperville" the wives don't work
I could be making $10 slanging slurpees
And you would still be at home
We could get a Jaguar gift certificate
Maybe the Volvo should disappear?
I called ChildServ to see if I can get on schedule
Back to my story
I was Christmas shopping
I am not going buy anything Made in China
Especially not a doll
What?
Have you gone all blue collar?
They'll poison your toothpaste and feed you Aqua Dots
I don't get this
I buy retail once a year
It's ok if it is gifted to Goodwill and you get it?
Hell yes
Even American Girl Dolls are made in China
So I am working this doll tip
You can't find any dolls that are not made in China
Betsy is out to change the world
She has always been fascinated with China
Chinese history books are all over the house
I grill Betsy on it as she avoids
This isn't about improv
I think the Cultural Revolution were interesting
I am trying to make this easy for you to understand
Olympic questions next
It'll be fine as long as no one gets pregnant
Dexter on Showtime has been great this season
WGA strike
Screw the studios . . . these writers should get on with it online
Thanks to CaptRespect and MacGeek for support!!

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
Look for the graphic on "Audience Survey" on the main page

Tags: made in china Naperville Goodwill CaptRespect MacGeek WGA strike

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 14, 2007

Wed, 14 Nov 2007 08:12:05 -0600

Croncast - 2007-11-14.mp3
Show: #433
Length: 28:35
Size: 19.8mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Post birthday wrap up
No I won't read it . . . it is inappropriate
What did you get me for my birthday?
Love
How do I put a photo of that up?
Just a white space
Your gift already expired
It was an interesting birthday
Was it like having a heel ground into your balls
To know that your plasma just bought tickets to a movie and chocolate cake
You came home with this cake
It had one 3 of the 33
I thought about using toothpaste to put the other on
I saw this monster chocolate cake
I have been shaving chocolate since 4 a.m.
Granted, he'll know it's from Costco
"All-American Chocolate Cake"
My Black Keys poster is gone
You blow out the candles
It was like a car tire, not really
My accent is like a cheesegrater on the edge of my words
I chop up the cake
Hand it out
And everyone is like this is a great cake
Elliot stands up straight
"I NEED TO BE EXCUSED"
He starts bouncing off the furniture
My mom look up and her face it bright red
Maggie starts freaking out too
She is yelling about wanting to ride the dog
Yeah, I ate four bites and had to stop
Betsy, I think it is full of caffeine
Loaded chocolate cake
Who wants to do more cake?
I am wired at this point
I didn't have an iris left
Just black eyes from open pupils
I couldn't handle it
You guys were right about the cake
Mom just stands up all the sudden
I gotta go to bed now
Talking a mile a minute
I go to get my phone out of the car
Find some gummy bears
I eat a handful of them
My chest starts thumping
My body tingles all over
Was it going along with the beat of the music?
I have never, ever felt that way in my life
Felt good when you scratched you head though didn't it
You know what will make you feel better?
More cake
That is like saying, I could use more diarrhea
I need to find my worst enemy to share it with
Scientists for chocolate experts look at that cake and tell us why
That cake was pure baked cocaine
I was still thinking about the cake today
Why do I want more cake? It's 8 a.m.
I do not fall into the stimulant category
Thanks to Costco I will no longer eat chocolate cake
You can turn off your emotions like a switch
Kris's phone is blowing up
Birthday wishes at 4 a.m.
I need to invent an apparatus that allows you to smoke while sleep
I'll be a quadrillionaire
Smoking in your sleep is healthy
Human mysters at 2 a.m.
The deer just stood in the front yard
Yeah, your dog will poop and eat it before it hits the ground
Stuffed animals from Goodwill need to be washed, Betsy
No they don't, they just need love

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Tags: Costco cake Goodwill smoking in your sleep caffeine chocolate expert

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 22, 2007

Mon, 22 Oct 2007 09:26:10 -0500

Croncast - 2007-10-22.mp3
Show: #423
Length: 39:33
Size: 27.1mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 22, 2007

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Today's show is pretty long for us, an extra 10 minutes
Lots going on in our lives (see banner graphic for this post above)
Kris knows all of Betsy's passwords
Of course I never gave access to my accounts
Betsy feels ripped off this week
I happened across a subdivision sale
Sure I had been there twice already
I needed to stop after getting my Morrisey dinner theater money
Oh, baby. I am really asleep
How did you get tricked out of your money?
I ended up with two broken strollers
I'll never be had like that again
Three houses down it happened again
Auto sound effects just don't work in a car
A motorized baby stroller?
Yeah, that was great idea
Swing-a-meal, the baby eats while it is swinging
Just take a hot and hollow it out for straw
Meaty milk, mmmmmmmm, yummy
Here we go
Life is show prep
Last Monday and Wednesday there were no shows
Well, here's the reason
I am now a free agent
Yep, I am back to podcast consulting and production
But I am good to go if you got an open gig
For now, check out my Linkedin Profile

Resume soon
I thought we were beyond this resume stuff
I sent my resume to a professional resume writer
Betsy reads what they see as wrong with my resume
Key - don't throw the reader for a loop
Here comes a Kris analogy
Yes, Kris . . . living life with you is like riding a bike down a staircase
My glasses are eating my face

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Tags: Kris Smith Linkedin Morrissey Morrissey dinner theater riding a bike

His belly sleeps

Mon, 15 Oct 2007 05:38:38 -0500

The guy next to me in the car this morning was snoring and smelled really clean, like fancy yellow clam shaped soap.

Tags: yellow fancy clam shaped soap

Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 10, 2007

Mon, 10 Sep 2007 07:40:55 -0500

Croncast - 2007-09-10.mp3
Show: #408
Length: 26:23
Size: 18.1mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 10, 2007

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Hey everybody, happy Monday! Hope you had a good weekend. I am heading home this morning.

The lackage of show notes for today's show brought to you by an uncomfortable chair and lack of sleep. Viva le Croncast!

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Tags: plush baby sitters the cocaine flu tech skills no echecks please