smile | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

don't question it, people! i am your overlord.

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 19:59:22 -0500

maggie was keeping it very real today by asking for her picture to be taken and then refusing to smile for me.

one thing is for sure, if you take lots of shots one of them will turn out.

Tags: smile refusing sure shots turn

please, no

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 21:33:13 -0500

from lunch yesterday, maggie was in no mood to smile. elliot, however, was a bit of a prankster.

Tags: elliot bit prankster smile mood

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 03, 2007

Wed, 03 Oct 2007 08:20:47 -0500

Croncast - 2007-10-03.mp3
Show: #417
Length: 31:01
Size: 21.3mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 03, 2007

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Bringing you the show for October 3rd
Be sly that that Google search person
It was good
New contest . . . Google you most creative result that gets you Croncast
You have to click through
You will win some stickers
The stickers were in your expo bag
Those gotta go out
Thanks to Steve, Mark, Rhonda and Craig
Betsy giving me looks as I slow down those names
They were at the live show
Betsy has some thoughts on the nerd convention
Every woman should visit one of these
There were no chicks there
1. No line for womens bathroom
You should be happy not to have many women while husband is away
Doing shots at the bar with Nick Starr
You are the hottest chick in the bar
Never happens to me in Naperville
It's an ego boost
It is so easy to compliment you people
You say something kind of clever . . .
Then I say, "I'm gonna twitter that"
Or say, "I am going to buy that domain"
Yeah, I used that a few times
Ahh, nerdom. I love it
Why don't we go to In and Out Burger again
Too much to handle
My lower colon just smiled at you
Twitter is addictive
It's like IM but one way
Do they build sonar into your phones?
You live in the dark
Come out into the light and you walk reading your device
Nobody has a iPhone hit the floor baby
It's not just guys
You have a vagina. You are supposed to be on my side
You are being so impolite, bears
I don't want to look like a nerd
No one calls each other at a nerd event
It's all sms baby, ping
Or we communicate by twitter
Swatting at invisible spiders
They are not nerd vacations . . . it's where business gets done
Everyone talks about what they have going on
Like Aaron Brazell mentioning mem_cache on MySQL
If I hadn't been on that trip I wouldn't have been able to share that with our developers
There were no babies or many wedding rings
I volunteered for something that I will pass to you, Kris
I have to decline
I do not want to volunteer for art class
It's no big deal Mr B
The children are making these collages
This is the most beautiful forest that I have ever seen
That's not your tree . . . that's your mother . . . oh!
Now I got to make a pipe cleaner cloud
It's all about balance
This flower . . . I can almost . . . smell it
Maybe a pipe cleaner porcupine?
It is the coolest funniest shit you've ever seen
We need rounded edges Mrs. Smith
Little boys making the "gun" hand on the playground
Fighting back instead of being pushed around
Being positive for the man
He has picked up a new habit that he is sticking with
Going full circle
Yes, my mom called 12 times today and left three voicemails
Would a neurologist have anything to look for in your ear?

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Tags: iPhone twitter that nerdom Aaron Brazell nerd conferences

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 01, 2007

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 10:42:30 -0500

Croncast - 2007-08-01.mp3
Show: #392
Length: 1:05:10
Size: 44.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 01, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

We've made it into the month of August
You've now crossed into Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla Shooting Club
Sure you don't want to bitch about Boulder some more?
I like Boulder, there are just some things I don't
We roll up and there is a guard tower
Was he standing there with a rifle?
No, Mr B
It is a gorgeous view
Flanked by beauty
The guard comes ambling up to the Volvo
Your names ladies?
We give them, remember this
"Do you ladies have any firearms with you?"
No firearms in this Volvo
This wagon is clear
He gives us directions
We roll on up
Elk Mountain Resort is beautiful
The valet pulls it four feet away and parks
The woman on hotels.com just kept complaining about it
She is nuts
Jeannie says the place is like Annie
Everyone stands to greet you as you walk in
Then there was Santa Claus
A dude with a white beard and red suit?
No, he had a uniform and a "I love my job smile"
He's got hot towels on a silver platter
He looks at me and says, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
He looks at Jeannie, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
Shit, the deal is sealed, we are the dykes
Welcome to first class
It took us 9 hours from Boulder
We'll make everything guided for you
What time would you ladies like dinner?
This Mrs. Smith would like to eat before 7:30
Mrs. Smith and I would like to eat in 45 minutes
Santa has an ear piece and a chest mic
He talks into it and poof the bell hop appears
We get to our room and the view is gorgeous
If you don't like it dial "0"
The bed looks like a cloud from heaven
I got Wal-Mart sheets
Jeanie, "We have robes!"
Hers and hers robes would have been nice
So we get dressed for dinner
It was intimidating, we felt like we didn't fit
Then I bust out the gift certificate
We wanted to play it cool
Sure, you want to fit in
They were nicer than your grandma who hasn't see you in three years
Every time you walk in the door the staff stands
Oh, are you ladies here for dinner?
I'll announce you, then he speaks into his lapel, "The Smiths are here for dinner."
You haven't told them yet?
No I was waiting for Jeannie
Who's the man, the big footed one with a bad perm
Are there any other guests at the resort?
Two other men not talking
There were 10 total guests at the resort
We order our dinner and they ask for drinks
My mom always orders the house wine, the cheap stuff
I'll have a Mountain Dew won't go over well
Jeannie hates red wine but follows Betsy's lead
Hi, I'm Chef Jeff, which house wine is best for you?
They start bringing out bread baskets and baked stuff
Chef Jeff is like, "Fuck dude! I worked on that all day and you can't say it."
I look at Jeannie, I can tell she doesn't like it
Been there and done that
Jeannie is woofing it down
I have to eat at least half of it
The two men eating alone are now joined by someone I recognize
The owner that I had seen on The Daily Show
Kris if you kick it up a notch we can do this every weekend
He comes over to the table
Asks what activities we are going to do
ATV's and shooting
We are the only resort in the entire world to have access for ATV's
Jeannie, "I love the outdoors but I can't go up high"
Our ATV's are automatic
They've thought of everything
Yes, everything
On the ride you will come to a place called Top of the World
So high that airplanes will fly below
Then he launches in to the special lights
These are based on the biologic make up of a lobster's eye
They are used to melt the snow to make an ice tunnel
Mr. Foreman continues to talk about the press they have gotten
A book on the NYT Best Sellers list is based at Elk Mountain Resort
He had me sold . . . I wanted to kiss a bear and drive to the top of the world
Why would you think that you couldn't do something?
Tom Foreman makes you believe that you can do anything
Enter the rest of the guests
Three sets of couples that look like my neighbors
Fit soccer moms?
Yes, Kris
I just drove 4 states over to get away from them
Now they are going to spoil my mountain view
Mr. Foreman goes over to the new couples
The super sweet firebox
Then our food comes
Every time there was another opportunity to be put in our place
We were still really awkward
Betsy has a bowl of puss and I get a bowl of noodles
It was couscous Jeannie
Jeannie starts to panic, all I get are these noodles
Campbell's has everything including broth
Then they bring the broth
After that they bring out dinner
The whole thing was terrific
Except that we were both completely terrified
To get over the petrification of being treated so well and Elk Mountain Resort stay more nights
Kris you are the king of upgrade
So after dinner Santa jumps up
We get our bill after dinner
Betsy goes white
Shut up Jeannie, I'll tell you later
The one thing you can't return is food
What I was freaking out about was that our house wine turned out to be $18 a glass
From their perspective, the lesbians aren't satisfied
Chef Jeff asks if dinner was to their liking
Then Thomas comes over and asks
After that the waitress comes up
Sure, they are trained like the CIA to read unhappiness
What would you ladies like to do?
We would like a jacuzzi?
Our eyes meet and we realize . . . they aren't out to get us . . . they are out to spoil us
Drinking our sangria in the hot tub
The cheap wine was awesome
Betsy took 100 pics of the tops of trees
At the Boulder art fair there was a dude with aspen photos
So we retire to the room and Jeannie puts on a robe
Sliding into the bed of heaven
Mrs. Smith, this is going to be the greatest night of my life
The greatest part of this is that I have no kids to wake me up
Betsy wakes up at 6:01 for coffee and viewing birds that were probably released for my pleasure
Do you know how much this is costing per minute? Get up Jeannie
We decide to take a hike
We start to walk by workers that gardening
When they see you they stop, stand, smile and ask you if you need anything
Landscapers saw us, they froze like deer
When we went by them they commenced working again
Tom has thought of everything
When a crossed eyed man in golf cart tells you "good luck" heed his warning
People are freezing along the trail "I'm a tree. I'm a tree. I'm a tree"
Maybe the trail was made for someone who came one time
Betsy, they did not release cows into the national forest for you to view
Queue the cattle
Someone left it on the comment card no doubt
Gotta watch out for the feral cows
Jeannie was petrified of them
Now you know why he told you good luck
That guy used to not be cross eyed till a cow incident
We can hear them shrieking and yelling
There they are . . . the soccer moms on the zip line
Whew, my Nike sports bra is twisted
We are on our way back
Jeannie freezes as we stand on Have you told anyone that you are not Mrs. Smith?
I see two brown ears rising out of this draining ditch
Out jumps a giant mule deer
Betsy chases it to take it's photo
The lesbians are crazy!
What are the lesbians doing now?
Time for lunch on the patio
We need some cigarettes and an ashtray
"Can I have an ashtray?"
She speaks into her cleavage mic
Around the corner, "I'm on it"
I know it is fun to play spies but this is weird
It was awesome though, instant ashtray
Lesbians are on porch, queue deer
Queue the geese
Then the soccer moms come bouncing back fit and tan
"Where are you guys from?"
Bloomington. "We are going to drive through there."
Their husbands, reserved and uptight
Screw it, this is all about me
I am going to make the soccer moms laugh
She swore that she was thirsty and all the sudden water showed up
"Guess how many kids we have?"
I don't know this is a game?
We have 10 combined?
How many are girls?
One
Then they struck a bad ass soccer mom pose
They brought things like running shoes
Betsy brought Crocs and sandals
Perfect lesbian gear
The soccer moms told us that the ATV's were awesome
We get ready to go and Misha shows up
I have done this ride 500 times and not lost 1 person yet
She takes out these top gun flight suits
I brought you the biggest ones we have
Betsy, "Of course mine won't zip up"
Jeannie, "neither will mine"
Jeannie you rock!
This could be customer service boot camp
Their motto must be "we are not going to tell you no"
They actually import vans from Europe to fit through their gates
Probably because it is more aesthetically pleasing
This is my new motto, "It is all about me"
Betsy gives me the thumbs up and then hits a tree
So we're going up the mountain
Jeannie is flying behind Misha
Betsy is stuck
I look down and my left hand has the brake so tight that I won't move
When you got on the quad the Unitarian in you took over
It was trying to save you
Oh, I'm sorry when was the last time you drove an ATV up a mountain
Betsy is trying to avoid the sticks
"Mam, that is an all terrain vehicle. Run over the sticks."
Hitting trees really hurts
Right before we get to The Top of the World
I look up and it is all Aspens and cattle
Jeannie starts to freak
Get me past that cow so fast
I am getting away from that cow so fast
Kris, we got to the top of mountain
You can see Utah, three mountain ranges at 9000 ft
We both had brown mustaches
It added to the lesbianism
Every time Betsy talks to the staff it is about her husbands and kids
Talk into your chest, the lesbians are not lesbians
These people are awesome
Misha ran a camp for bad ass kids
Like outward bound? Way scarier
Working at Elk Mountain Resort is top of the food chain
You have got to put in your time
John of course is an ex-Navy Seal
He is bad ass
You feel amazingly comfortable and slightly scared
I love men like that. Don't you Jeannie
Sure, he was handsome too
OK, time for this podcast to end
We ended on the ATV's and it was time to drink
Don't hand the truck driver the bottle
Four or five inches of vodka
Kris, we almost drank an entire bottle of vodka
Jeannie is naked in a robe and slippers
We are ripped
You are so awesome . . . No, you are so awesome
I look at clock and it is 9:00 p.m. and we haven't eaten
We dial "0" and they tell us that the dining room is still open for us
We arrive and there are flames to the ceiling
Chef Jeff is making bananas foster
The soccer moms start to speak to us
Betsy with her vodka mouth
"Are we going to be on your webcast?", soccer moms
Jeannie loves it when I get out of control
"We should introduce ourselves"
No that is OK, I already have a name for you, "The bad ass soccer moms"
It could go either way
Then the leader dies laughing
Right, there has to be an Alpha mom in the group
Yes, the one with the longest Escalade, the EXT
So Chef Jeff comes over
Betsy, "A-1 Jeff we're trashed. Can I call you Chef Jeff from now on"
That's not chatting it up that is drunk babble
Chef Jeff really made it
We don't go to gourmet restaurants and have the chef talk to us for 40 minutes
It was entirely phenomenal
Kris, I know we have talked about how I challenged the Russian to a vodka drinking contest
Can I take it back when you order the most expensive item on the menu?
And I was on the urge of vomiting
Kobe beef times 2 with bananas foster
Betsy looks at me like you better eat that bitch
Chef Jeff is buying us drinks
And I have to deny him because now I can't see him
I don't know where I am at
We stumble back to our room
There is that point, where you realize that I am done my man
Jeannie deals with Betsy, I am sick
I will lay in the bed of heaven
Betsy has the her cigarettes and the camera around her neck
You ticked me off
You don't like me anymore?
I'll like you tomorrow
You just ripped my underwear and are out of control
I proceed to go to the most beautiful bathroom in the states
And I don't even have to use my muscles
I have an exorcism of the most expensive meal I have ever ate
More babbling from Betsy
Typical Betsy move, "I made myself throw up"
This is the best planned bathroom of all time
6 feet from toilet to wall on a slate floor
Betsy made a bed right there with a Turkish robe
And I fell asleep on that cold stone slate floor and it felt so good
As I was falling asleep I thought to myself . . .
I love John, Misha, Chef Jeff and I love Tom the most
Why? Because he was smart enough to put a twin bed in the water closet
I don't know what we were thinking by drinking so much
I have nicotine and alcohol poisoning . . . I need to dial "0"
We have to do another show for Valhalla
It was the most emotional day of Jeannie's life
Sorry about your underwear dude
I'll get you a Target gift certificate
These were Victoria Secret
Do you know how much stuff I will have to find and sell from Goodwill?
Final installment of Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla comes your way tomorrow!

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
Look for the graphic on "Audience Survey" on the main page

Tags: kobe beef bananas foster Elk Mountain Resort Valhalla Shooting Club Chef Jeff bad ass soccer moms

Quickcam10.exe will break your Thunderbird 2 install or upgrade

Thu, 19 Apr 2007 08:11:15 -0500

Thought I would be cool and upgrade to Thunderbird 2 this morning from verion 1.5. Thunderbird is my trusty email program that keeps me connected to the outside world . . . my window to the world from the Smith manpit.

As a user for the last three years I know better:

than to have thunderbird or firefox open during upgrade
not back up the address book
not backup my email

Did my duty, began the install and kaput, "Error . . . r\n\r\nmozMapi32.dll . . .". Shit! But not a big surprise given my Thunderbird upgrade experiences.

Did my searches for the dll and ended up in a couple of places that didn't help but this one did.

Solution:

stop Quickcam10.exe (yeah, bizarre)
run install again
rejoice that the email gods have smiled upon you

Tags: mozMapi32.dll nmozMapi32.dll Thunderbird 2 Quickcam10.exe Thunderbird upgrade error

Betsy and her husband Kris Feb 12, 2007

Mon, 12 Feb 2007 07:59:21 -0600

Croncast - 2007-02-12.mp3

Show: #336
Length: 34:28
Size: 23.6mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris February 12, 2007

This show was brought to you by Roger Palek (Kris says, "Richard" sorry Roger)
It's been a while
When I was in Boulder I only recorded one side of the show, mine
The best fan representation of our show
How about dress up as a puffy cuffs and send up your polaroid
Mr. B you are so forgetful . . .we need of list of people who donated
I'm on it
This show was brought to you by Roger Palek (Kris says, "Richard")
Not quite on it
Gone all last week and I'll be gone this week too
Betsy, "Do you know what I learned to do this week? Live without you."
It was nice and quiet without you around
Four days later I was missing you
You want me to want you 20 minutes after you walk out the door
I'll be gone over Valentine's day
Picking up the ring that already is paid for
Booba, give me your run down for the week
Betsy's bad eBay week
Goodwill Kodak slide trays makes it not so bad
Magazine "Good" with Marc Jacobs
Social Activism and Culture Jamming
Sounds like those are people who shower . . . not your people
There were no slides in the trays
"Fall over the lake"
"West side of the cabin"
This was some boring as shit man
Goodwill has been bad . . . it has been so cold
What was awesome about it was that I left
When I landed in Boulder it 54 degrees
I could tan in that weather I'm so white
54 degrees and sunny could cause me to blister
I'm surprised that you didn't come home in patchwork pants
Didn't you have homeless friends in college?
NO
My roommate used to pick up guys off IRC circa 1993
Laying in the bunk bed drunk and stoned
This strange mans leans over me and says, "Think she's want to join us."
Madrigals all the time
She was a whore monger
Those chicks scare me
How Kris became afraid of dentists
I could lord over him with my OK teeth
You never smiled until
I didn't know what a habit was
That's why my teeth are rotting out
He was the pamphlet reader
Free clinic will give you a drug you've never tried pamphlet
Well it's time Mr B to get your teeth fixed
Tongue depressors to fix teeth
She ended up with braces anyway

Tags: Roger Palek Good Magazine madrigals culture jamming Boulder, CO homeless friends

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 12, 2007

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 05:54:34 -0600

Croncast - 2007-01-12.mp3

Show: #326
Length: 34:30
Size: 23.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 12, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by Ben Witt.
Also brought to you Black Box wine . . . just cause Betsy finds so delicious
Melissa is back with us again for a special show
She is going to sign up to be the Brockway Girl (I would link this up but the links are broken to their own promotion)
Melissa works at the group home that we collected and you donated dough to
She came on to thank everyone and get Betsy's hook up help
"Geek husbands are the best," Betsy
I'm not like them. Do you want to come over and play Wii with me?
I smiled and nodded but I really wasn't interested in it
You want me to what?
If you enjoy single life you will enjoy being married to a geek
Their direct deposit goes into your account
Nerds are loyal and won't disappear with your neighbor
Give'em lots of cereal
Mc Donald's gift card and no allowance
Getting your nerd 'sun like' light from special bulbs
Can we throw your photo on the site?
Hotter to every nerd . . . pic in front of mic
Not that I have been home thinking about it
Betsy has a master plan for Melissa
A beer girl to?
In Germany Kris could apply to be a beer girl and win
She should win because her last name is Brockway

"I don't know why you don't have a harem," Betsy
Melissa doesn't understand search engine results
She reads some of our search engine hits for the last 4 days

Girls gone wild, spice channel, nipples, girls gone wild on airplane, Hot pic french maid, full body corset, animal husband, Dr. Oz gain an inch,Goodwill store commercials, drink drano, canker, RSS girls gone wild, cuffs, sexy fifties, issues with john elway dodge, betsy porn, "vasectomy didn't work"

So that is how the world finds us
Getting a vasectomy in Tijuana
I don't where a t-shirt that says I have hang-ups
Even if he sees his friends from online he wouldn't know who they are
Look at Kris, that is the geek defense
You'll understand someday
I came on the show to thank everybody for everything that they gave to us
We had the best Christmas at the Lisle group home
The best one that we have had with them ever
Thank you to your listeners!
Today is Kris's last khaki pant day, it is over
Kris, you have to shower everyday . . . you'll get stars on your page
Wii tournament January 27th

Tags: Ben Witt Brockway Girl Brockway Chophouse geek husbands Wii tournament

You're making her look bad

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 11:01:15 -0500

Lisa has quite a lovely post on her blog, "You're Making Me Look Bad". Her descriptions of Croncast, Betsy and myself always brings me a smile.

Thanks for the post Lisa and good luck in the contest.

Tags: Lisa Gaumond 300 by 300th Croncast iPod Contest Kris Smith

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 20, 2006

Fri, 20 Oct 2006 06:32:38 -0500

Croncast - 2006-10-20.mp3

Show: #287
Length: 33:03
Size: 22.7 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris October 20, 2006

Betsy decides to start shipping while the show begins
Then wants to divert attention
You don't want to talk about the naked camel in the desert?
I want to talk about the email
Betsy says, it is a surprise that we don't get hate mail everyday
The shipping continues
Sign up for the contest and then send hate mail . . . nice
Now you're a Puffy Cuffs
If it is really bothering you that much
"If you're engaged to a geek - break it off," Betsy
Saving driving directions to my phone instead of printing them out
The tape sound again . . . it is the sound of my life
The sound of my eternity
Postal priority mail tape
They quit making it
What am I going to use to wrap Christmas gifts
Betsy says she has big news
Betsy is going to hang with a fan tomorrow . . . Abbi Z.
Kinda gonna be in the area
Betsy is wired and over-thinking it
Betsy screwed up chocolate chip cookies
Not so sweet cookies
Abbi will eat them and smile
That's why we do it baby for the fans
Got rid of Slowsky
Better phrasing, "Off to the auction like a fat pig"
The Slowsky lowdown
Sister turned it down and now Betsy uses it for a trade on a car for her sister
If you can't sell something to Kris you should be fired
We got it good right now
Betsy, "I know you live like that. My darling the rapper."
The QVC clothes smell like old people
They pump the bags full of the odor
Too chubby to put a leg forward
Quality Value Convenience you need to shop it too
Compression garment for the abdominally blessed
Betsy hits a new low - recording QVC to DVR for later viewing
No high waist jeans at the store but Goodwill got'em
We're off to Boulder tonight
Maggie, Betsy and Kris are off that is the man will rock it out with grandma
The irony? Back to Colorado
Slowsky is worth more in pieces than as a whole
Zeus is getting fixed next week
Not just hate mail, only one, and many great emails and comments yesterday

1) Fill out the appropriate form for you - *New* Listener or Get a Handle (current listener)
2) Verify your email address (Activates and qualifies those with a "Handle")
3) *New* listeners get activated and qualified by using their special RSS feed
4) 300th new listener and the person whose Handle they use win iPods AND
5) A drawing for 2 more iPods from everyone who entered!

Tags: Slowsky Goodwill pants QVC clothes Boulder priority mail tape

Stadium Arcadium Lightium My Mindium

Fri, 26 May 2006 12:04:55 -0500

When I read the article about the leak of this ablum online and the band's reaction decrying the sound quality of songs I laughed. What could be so special about the quality of the production that would make a difference? If people really, really want to hear something they will listen and enjoy it. The whole thing made me reluctant to purchase Stadium Arcadium, but I did.

I will not regret this purchase. This album is the best, most cohesive album that the Red Hot Chili Pepper's have ever put out. This album is the best, most cohesive collection of work from any band that I have ever heard. These guys were in their groove and knew it. Which is one of the hardest things to do as an artist.

Stadium Arcadium has 28 brilliant songs on it that are the essence of four musicians and the hard work of the recording engineers and producers.

Which gets me back to audio quality issue that was pushed by the band. I would have been pissed too. Not that the album had leaked but that the quality was not the same sonic fidelity of what was planned for release.

The recording of, mixing of, mastering of and final product is something that brings a smile to my face as I type this. If you are in to percussion you'll find some of the cleanest drum micing that I've ever heard on a rock album. We're talking about the quality usually reserved for spartan jazz traps that rip.

The lyrical content is also the best that these guys have ever put together. Usually their lyrics are less accessible and sometimes frustrating. But the phrases and delivery lend themselves to a wide listener interpretation that makes this album very inviting.

Tags: Red Hot Chili Peppers Stadium Arcadium art contemporary rock music

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 153

Sat, 14 Jan 2006 09:33:51 -0600

Croncast - 2006-01-14.mp3

Show: #196
Length: 42:45
Size: 29.3 mb
Format: mp3

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 153

Show Notes

TRISKAIDEKAPHOBIA
It's really Kris
No buying a a house with 13 in the number
Irregardless the ladies went and bought one
You're really only selling the house to the wife
Women are like cats
Everytime before the show Kris is sexually harrassed
Betsy would settle for all of Kris' money
Smacking my butt or any other bare flesh
Low rise jean nightmare
I don't know how to break this to you, your but goes half way up your back
Betsy's hairy spots find their way into my dreams
Missing hair when waxing
Human hair in patches like Steve Carrel
Fantastic 4 "family" version - seriously?
Ending up in the principals office
It's not about the man hair
5-6 inches of hair bordering on creepy
Betsy as a swimsuit model
Even when Kris dreams he can't confront Betsy
Women can't ever wear the other shoe, they must harrass men
Betsy smiles through the whole thing
Women are sleazy perverts, soaps and Desperate Housewives
Tivo the soaps
Aimed at people with a third degree education
Finally expelled at the 9 grade
My people pick up on things like that
Kris could have become a mechanic, so could Betsy by mail order
The youthful internship
Kris puts together a car from the parts (yes I did it once)
Swearing and crying, next the man fit
I'm not interested in doing that
The contractors cometh and some are scary
Validating my manhood to the contractors as soon as they enter the house
When the lawn mowing kid from next door comes over I don't say I could do this myself but I'm not
Letting them know that I don't do it well
Fancy codes that won't burn down your house
Experiences we haven't had before
I told them about my man points of home repair
Ungood with the laminate
Starting where no one will go not the most traffic
Hiring a contractor
Choosing from the news paper
No spelling errors in ad, franchisees, Rent-My-Hubby
Third category - can't pay rent and decide to see how many elderly people will call
The plan didn't work all that well
Not title for business - No Job Too Small
He really lived the river
Sweet Emotion was playing when he rolled up and the neighbors huddled with their children and brought them inside
Cars are made of plastic and this cats was rusting
The guy you wake up at 3 a.m. and find in your kitchen
Jail house tats on the knuckles
Qualifying the hording of everthing
Betsy has a problem
Maggie will get bigger
"Stocking up" - lies all lies
Partial admission that she is hording
Selling the train bed
Making Kris proud with her saleswomenship
All the American girl dolls for a 10 month old
Too big to ship and don't fit in the Scion

Tags: kris betsy house hair people