sold | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

Giving Away - 2 Black Keys Tickets for SOLD OUT Las Vegas Show (You pay shipping)

Thu, 17 Feb 2011 11:37:13 -0600

Too good to be true? Nope.

If you get picked at random and pay the overnight shipping. Which according to FedEx is about $40 for 10:30 a.m. deliver tomorrow.

I am a huge Black Keys fan and haven't seen them live since 2006. I thought Las Vegas would be the end to that drought. Not the case.

However, it can be the start of something awesome for you or another great set of memories from a stand out rock band.

I've got TWO General Admission tickets to the Saturday, February 19th sold out show at the Chelsea in the Cosmopolitan Hotel of Las Vegas.

Here's how I'm going to do this since I waited to the last minute because I thought I could pull this out:

A. Leave a comment on this post with your facebook page, twitter handle or an email with '[at]' instead of an '@' (helping to avoid the spam) so that i can contact you if you win.

B. At 3:00 EST today I will pick one commenter at random. You've got 10 minutes to get back to me before I pick someone else, since I need to send these out as soon as possible to get them to someone.

C. Drop the $40 for the shipping in my PayPal and I'll head to FedEx.

This isn't a scam or anything weird.

I'm a huge fan and thought I could pull it out. I tried to take my 5 year old with me to Central Park when the Keys played there but it was sold out. We sat outside and listened for about an hour. She's also loves the Keys, well it makes up about 850f her music listening in my presence, so of course she does. She was pissed we couldn't get in. Don't let this happen to you ;).

Tags: the black keys las vegas cosmopolitan chelsea

Wanna party, Giant?

Sat, 04 Dec 2010 22:47:44 -0600

Rambling introspection and poor writing to follow.

The headline? We'll get to that.

A little over a year ago my wife and I moved to New York City with our two children. We left a house and life in suburban Chicago, as evidenced in all these Flickr photos that serve as a reminder of our histroy.

We sold the house, packed up tight and left town in a stretch limo with six suitcases and a hermit crab in my wife's front pocket.

We arrived with no apartment to rent, jobs or money. The money was tied up in the sale of our house that was occurring in a couple days, I had interviews lined up but nothing solid and for lodging a friend named Tom hooked up a tiny studio for the four of us.

I'm going to take the liberty of speeding up this story. I'll share more of it another time.

Needless to say, things didn't work out quite like we have hoped or planned.

I didn't get the jobs that I had interviewed for. The money from the sale of our house didn't clear our bank for 3 weeks. Once it cleared we got on with things.

Which brings me to the short version of things:

New York has been many things to our family. I fell it love with every part of it and convinced my family to come with. They've stood by me as opportunities have come and gone. They've believed in me in what my own personal history will recount as one of the most challenging years of my life.

Things are on the up and I feel a little more comfortable taking the time to look at this last year as a series of challenges.

My children may never forgive me. Hopefully, later in life, they'll appreciate that mom and dad took risks in order to provide them a more interesting life. Who else gets to watch a midget hooker try to work their father at a subway stop with a sweet line like, "Wanna party, Giant?"

Nothing in suburbia packs that much excitement except a play-date at the local children's museum.

Tags: house life children money left

sold here

Sat, 23 Oct 2010 10:40:07 -0500

Tags: sold

Season 22 Ep 03: Seven lemons will make lots of lemonade

Wed, 22 Apr 2009 15:11:44 -0500

Croncast - 2009-04-22.mp3
Show: #528
Length: 27:07
Size: 25.3 mb
Format: mp3

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FSBO Naperville, IL
Show notes are super short
This episode isn't all that much fun
It's more of a chance to fill you in
We've got a lot going on like . . .
We'll be putting our house on market soon, like two weeks from now
Hopefully sold by the time school ends
We're looking for gig for Kris
We're looking for a city, town to live in that fits us
Maybe you live in that city?
If so tell us why we should move our family there
For Sale By Owner Naperville Illinois
We're looking for good public schools, lower cost of living and positive, vibrant community

Tags: FSBO Naperville lemonade naperville house

Season 21 Ep 11: The Kitty's Gone, CarMax Sale, Kelly Blue Book

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 12:14:43 -0600

Croncast - 2009-02-11.mp3
Show: #511
Length: 33:56
Size: 31.2 mb
Format: mp3

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This show brought to you by Affordable Promotions
Pick a post, any post to leave a comment
You can leave a comment for our 2012 shows
It's a whole new internet that I developed on my own
Valentine's day is 3 days away
Buy you love an "I love you baby USB drive"
You gave me the best gift ever Mr B for Valentines Day
Conversion van jokes search this site for John Elway
I read a thread
Ping me when you're ready
So you're reading this thread about CarMax
Supposedly they pay close to Kelly Blue Book for car
Saved by a bucket of chicken
Selling a car privately
Was much to worry about
The slow drive-by in the Ford Explorer
It's the same person
I've been to that garage sale
The same Velma
That would be Vonda
CarMax gives you an appraisal
So we go for it
The Volvo will be sold
Picking it up after detail
The car knew
The dash lit up with warnings
30 minutes later all good
We decide to get both cars appraised
Well, Kris' gift?
The photo above says it all
Trunk full of auto parts and a mechanic strapped to bumper
But we still did something that Dave Ramsey would frown on
Hit up the casino last week
It felt really good to be really bad . . . on a budget
What is so hot to ladies about a man that plays the tables?
No oxygen tank

Tags: Jaguar CarMax appraisal Kelly Blue Book Dave Ramsey

two lanes wide, the names

Mon, 26 May 2008 16:31:48 -0500

the crowd got hushed quite a bit when they saw this banner coming down the street when they realized what it was.

the banner has the names of every soldier killed to date in the current iraq war. the stunning part is that the names are written very small.

it had a great impact. people were commenting about how big the banner was.

no one clapped when this one went by.

i got choked up and am again typing this up.

Tags: operation iraqi freedom operation enduring freedom names written small

Famous people I've sold shoes to

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 12:31:20 -0500

In the mid 90's after I left college (see; not graduating) I worked my up the food chain with an athletic shoe retailer to eventually manage a couple stores. In this time I was able to put shoes on the following famous (lightly said) peoples' feet:

By the way, the whole reason for this post is that for some reason I had a dream last night and replayed all of these sales in my head. Maybe it's a sign to give it all up and go back to selling shoes. Wouldn't Betsy be thrilled?!

Ok, here they are:

1) Carrot Top
2) Teddy Riley
3) Kevin Garnett
4) Lorrie Morgan
5) Ray Allen
6) Rudy T

What good stuff you got in your closet from a former life in sales dealing with "famous" people?

Tags: nike the finish line carrot top famous people feet

Season 19 Ep 23: Omniscient Nerd, Void Your Warranty, Ferocity

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 09:42:29 -0500

Croncast - 2008-03-21.mp3
Show: #470
Length: 15:41
Size: 10.8mb
Format: mp3

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We keeps it short today
Maggie is sick with croup and flu with fever
It's one half of a show
So I was at Goodwill
What story you tell doesn't start this way?
My pockets were loaded
I don't trust my purse
You shouldn't
We haven't told the story of your purse being stolen yet?
Nope
Another day
Not to be disgusting
Sure
I had to go to the bathroom and leave my cart outside the door
I pulled up my pants with ferocity
As soon as I left my pockets felt lighter
Oh, Baby
I go back in and my cell phone is in the toilet
Multi-use public toilet
I had to decide which hand to stick into the toilet
Baby, I gotta tell ya
You should have just left it
Goodwill urine water would do it
You could have sold it with your personal information
What are they going to steal? Your skype number?
This person could use more friends
Lists of potential friends
I love the idea
How much is a list of friends from a cell phone found in a toilet at Goodwill?
You're right
Kris, I need you to get me a new phone
I want a penny phone
Cheap flip phone?
Cell phones say a lot about people
It's like getting out of prison and wearing the same clothes from 20 years ago
I want a phone that I can dial and drive
If you hit the shift key you can dial numbers
It isn't a smart phone
They call that insurance fraud
I gotta hit the red dot
Sure, if you crack the head open you will void the warranty
It's funny you say that
Two months ago I had brain surgery
I felt like I was an inch tall
Omniscient nerd

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

Tags: smart phone Verizon voided warranty Omniscient nerd

Season 19 Ep 6: Hire Kris, Styrofoam Cups, All Caps

Fri, 18 Jan 2008 09:52:39 -0600

Croncast - 2008-01-18.mp3
Show: #452
Length: 28:19
Size: 19.5mb
Format: mp3

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View Kris's resume or download it

You wanted more than Wheel of Fortune?
Now you got it
Sure you want it
How to tickle a nerd?
Let us see funny stuff in our stats
From Google searches
Yeah I look for the search term
You know that your IT people got their space
They all need a little space
Evidently we are more exciting than a blue haired lot lizard
Those I dig, they were funny
I'm glad you are getting tickled
Not those industries
If I could reach a lower point in my wife's eyes . . . don't know what it is
Things couldn't be going much worse for me
Instead of life preservers I'm getting styrofoam cups
I am smiling and laughing because I know you are on cusp of something terrrible
Monday was going to awesome
Back story
Interviewing and meeting with people
Turns out they didn't want me for the job that I had applied for
We really want you
What do you want to do?
What would you want me to do if I worked here?
What does my resume say to you?
In all honesty, I haven't read it
Nice
So they loved me
For the last two months we'll get back to you
We are figuring this out
We know how to make it happen
When job hunting you are in a hurry but no one else is
The key is to not come off desperate
I asked what the culture was like
Sure I ended up over dressed
I'm applying for every job that I can
Everything and anything
Manager at Caribou Coffee, you bet
Come Monday most likely we'll be selling the Maguar
We've learned a lot over the last two years
Kris explains how his job ended
Next time all the other cats get gone
We did the best thing we could do at the time
If I would have waited three weeks I might not have had a job
We thought being proactive would be better
Betsy is keeping us afloat in food and small bills with china sales
The eBay sales have been
Listen, it even gets worse
I am fucking everything up
It's me
I'm not doing it on purpose
But it is surely me
Betsy runs her business like a busy mommy
So she gets an all caps email
Directed at the software that she sold for me
It's not my fault he doesn't get it
Oh, my God I am going to kill Kris
For this software, you have to be a nerd!!!!
If you aren't you won't even know what this software is
Not just a nerd but an audio nerd to know what Yellow Tools is
Yeah, I went after him
Not my fault he typed in all caps
Reaching pretty low lows
Wasn't listening to the Wheel shows better?
Man, this is depressing
Got a line on a gig?

Tags: styrofoam google searches low lows Wheel of Fortune interviewing

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 03, 2007

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 09:27:44 -0500

Croncast - 2007-08-03.mp3
Show: #393
Length: 32:41
Size: 22.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 03, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

Kris is losing his voice
The most emotional day of Jeanie's life ensues
Jeanie wakes up hammered
Betsy woke up and rubbed her feet all over Jeanie
It is the curse of Betsy
Betsy hates feet, can't stand feet
Wants nothing to do with feet
However, she can't keep her feet off of you
She has to put them on you
And these aren't regular feet
They are a women's size 12
A man's size 11 1/2
And they are like meat hooks
Dry, jerky meat hooks
And they are rough and jagged with a sixth toe on each foot
Like the Chinese guy in the Guinness Book
It must be a female thing
Evan yells at me when I do it to him
Why do you gotta put your toes on me?
Get on your own side dude!
Sorry, Mrs. Smith greatest day ever isn't gonna cap out
While I'm dying of alcohol and nicotine poisoning
I wake up and the toilet is full of Kobe of bananas foster
I didn't puke on the floor . . . it is from when I got out of the shower to puke
Jeanie, "This is gross"
We have to get up, today is the second greatest day of my life
The day that I get to go and shoot stuff
I'll have the fruit plate
It comes back as fruit art
We tell the waiter, but it is obvious that Betsy is hungover
The waiter comes back with cappuccino for the ladies
Jeanie gets amped
Somebody give that woman a firearm
Betsy now feels the same way that I did when we were on the ATVs
Even Linda Hogan has to put chin to cleavage and push on
No pressure, step up to the plate
We walk in to Valhalla
Turns out that John is going to help us
There are like 10 bronze Remington statues
Gigantic NRA flags on the wall
Celebrity photos on the wall
John, ex-Navy Seal, comes over and talks to us
I have never listened so hard in my life
"Oh shit, we are really going to do this"
This will be in live combat simulation mode
The bullets will explode
"We do not point the gun at anyone. Including me," John
This is when Jeanie begins to panic
We have to sign a waiver with or social security number
If you had been in the presence of an ex-Navy seal
John comes over and lays down 9mm pistols in front of us
Jeanie looses her color, "I'm trapped in this steal room with pulverizing bullets"
More instructions on how to hold the gun
He helps Jeanie out arm over arm
We are not going to be Olympic competitors if rifle
Ready position
Jeanie pulled . . . and she melted
The Navy Seal saw it coming
He grabs her. Jeanie, "Bull shiiiit!"
All of the sudden there are stars in the sky
She is still standing right next me
I can't quit shaking
Do you need some water?
He grabs lapel, "We have a freaker"
He knew you were going to hit the road
Lodged, malfunction, strike the magazine
Bang, bang, b-bang
Shells are falling all around Betsy's Crocs
Betsy turns around with the gun and Jeanie hits the deck
That is just the beginning
Betsy, "It's OK to go Jeanie"
Trying to be encouraging while crying
Jeanie is the world's best friend
John2 at the front desk watches the uncontrollable shaky Jeanie
Do you want some oxygen?
Finally they send a car
Meanwhile back at Valhalla . . .
OK you shot'em in the head . . . but it doesn't mean they can't still kick your ass
You keep shooting till they don't move
The look on your face is the look in that picture!
John has made a very large impact on your life
I am going to take you to a live scenario room
If this were a long term course we would work on your startle reflex
Betsy is awesome with a pistol
They take Betsy into a biker bar with a terrorist
I know it went down but you've got to keep shooting them
So Betsy clears the room . . . "Clear and cold"
Fear of firearms
John, "We have one more room for you"
He walks Betsy into a biker bar scenario room
Your face baby, oh my god
So in the corner of the bar is a robber
All you can see is his head and arm because it was around a hostage
I turned and dropped him with one shot between the eyes
It was the best feeling that I ever had
So Kris this is what I am thinking . . . a well armed wife is a happy wife
"You cannot beat and armed woman"
They sold purses designed for your concealed weapon
I am putting it out there for birthday
Henry just erased everything off his board and wrote, "I win."
You might be the first person to be turned away at the Unitarian church
I was going to tell Elliot, "Mommy took down a terrorist today"
So now it is time to leave
Cold maze is a good maze
I think something that contributed to my discomfort was not breast feeding for 3 days
To the right of me is a breast pump going full speed
Betsy finished up . . . and says I got to get rid of this stuff
It's like the trucker's pee bombs
Yeah, except this is 90 proof
She looks out window and says, "Are you ready?"
Jeanie, "Why is it going to be beautiful? Is it going to turn into fairy dust"
Is this going to be amazing?
I gotta do this cool because there is a wind going
Betsy throws it out . . . and it comes right back at her
The inside of the Volvo is now covered with breast milk
We stop at the Continental Divide
You remember how I feel about high mountain roads
Betsy, keep talking to me, keep talking
Those nets are to catch landslides
You could have explained pump and dump
All of the sudden we see cable cars
"The highest point on highway 50"
It is gorgeous
I was not feeling well
Jeanie is shaking, exhausted and needs a pick me up
Betsy, what kind of fudge do you want
"What dude," Betsy says Colorado slow
I think that I am freaking out
Now we have to drive down the mountain
Fudge won't help anything
We made it down it ok
But we were following an RV
Can you use those for cars?
No you have to hit the mountain
The RV's brakes were on fire
It took us six hours to get home
That's it, installment 4 of Betsy and Jeanie's trip to Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla Shooting Club

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Tags: Remington Valhalla Shooting Club Linda Hogan Continental Divide shop Betsy Smith Jeanie Bowen

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 01, 2007

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 10:42:30 -0500

Croncast - 2007-08-01.mp3
Show: #392
Length: 1:05:10
Size: 44.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 01, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

We've made it into the month of August
You've now crossed into Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla Shooting Club
Sure you don't want to bitch about Boulder some more?
I like Boulder, there are just some things I don't
We roll up and there is a guard tower
Was he standing there with a rifle?
No, Mr B
It is a gorgeous view
Flanked by beauty
The guard comes ambling up to the Volvo
Your names ladies?
We give them, remember this
"Do you ladies have any firearms with you?"
No firearms in this Volvo
This wagon is clear
He gives us directions
We roll on up
Elk Mountain Resort is beautiful
The valet pulls it four feet away and parks
The woman on hotels.com just kept complaining about it
She is nuts
Jeannie says the place is like Annie
Everyone stands to greet you as you walk in
Then there was Santa Claus
A dude with a white beard and red suit?
No, he had a uniform and a "I love my job smile"
He's got hot towels on a silver platter
He looks at me and says, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
He looks at Jeannie, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
Shit, the deal is sealed, we are the dykes
Welcome to first class
It took us 9 hours from Boulder
We'll make everything guided for you
What time would you ladies like dinner?
This Mrs. Smith would like to eat before 7:30
Mrs. Smith and I would like to eat in 45 minutes
Santa has an ear piece and a chest mic
He talks into it and poof the bell hop appears
We get to our room and the view is gorgeous
If you don't like it dial "0"
The bed looks like a cloud from heaven
I got Wal-Mart sheets
Jeanie, "We have robes!"
Hers and hers robes would have been nice
So we get dressed for dinner
It was intimidating, we felt like we didn't fit
Then I bust out the gift certificate
We wanted to play it cool
Sure, you want to fit in
They were nicer than your grandma who hasn't see you in three years
Every time you walk in the door the staff stands
Oh, are you ladies here for dinner?
I'll announce you, then he speaks into his lapel, "The Smiths are here for dinner."
You haven't told them yet?
No I was waiting for Jeannie
Who's the man, the big footed one with a bad perm
Are there any other guests at the resort?
Two other men not talking
There were 10 total guests at the resort
We order our dinner and they ask for drinks
My mom always orders the house wine, the cheap stuff
I'll have a Mountain Dew won't go over well
Jeannie hates red wine but follows Betsy's lead
Hi, I'm Chef Jeff, which house wine is best for you?
They start bringing out bread baskets and baked stuff
Chef Jeff is like, "Fuck dude! I worked on that all day and you can't say it."
I look at Jeannie, I can tell she doesn't like it
Been there and done that
Jeannie is woofing it down
I have to eat at least half of it
The two men eating alone are now joined by someone I recognize
The owner that I had seen on The Daily Show
Kris if you kick it up a notch we can do this every weekend
He comes over to the table
Asks what activities we are going to do
ATV's and shooting
We are the only resort in the entire world to have access for ATV's
Jeannie, "I love the outdoors but I can't go up high"
Our ATV's are automatic
They've thought of everything
Yes, everything
On the ride you will come to a place called Top of the World
So high that airplanes will fly below
Then he launches in to the special lights
These are based on the biologic make up of a lobster's eye
They are used to melt the snow to make an ice tunnel
Mr. Foreman continues to talk about the press they have gotten
A book on the NYT Best Sellers list is based at Elk Mountain Resort
He had me sold . . . I wanted to kiss a bear and drive to the top of the world
Why would you think that you couldn't do something?
Tom Foreman makes you believe that you can do anything
Enter the rest of the guests
Three sets of couples that look like my neighbors
Fit soccer moms?
Yes, Kris
I just drove 4 states over to get away from them
Now they are going to spoil my mountain view
Mr. Foreman goes over to the new couples
The super sweet firebox
Then our food comes
Every time there was another opportunity to be put in our place
We were still really awkward
Betsy has a bowl of puss and I get a bowl of noodles
It was couscous Jeannie
Jeannie starts to panic, all I get are these noodles
Campbell's has everything including broth
Then they bring the broth
After that they bring out dinner
The whole thing was terrific
Except that we were both completely terrified
To get over the petrification of being treated so well and Elk Mountain Resort stay more nights
Kris you are the king of upgrade
So after dinner Santa jumps up
We get our bill after dinner
Betsy goes white
Shut up Jeannie, I'll tell you later
The one thing you can't return is food
What I was freaking out about was that our house wine turned out to be $18 a glass
From their perspective, the lesbians aren't satisfied
Chef Jeff asks if dinner was to their liking
Then Thomas comes over and asks
After that the waitress comes up
Sure, they are trained like the CIA to read unhappiness
What would you ladies like to do?
We would like a jacuzzi?
Our eyes meet and we realize . . . they aren't out to get us . . . they are out to spoil us
Drinking our sangria in the hot tub
The cheap wine was awesome
Betsy took 100 pics of the tops of trees
At the Boulder art fair there was a dude with aspen photos
So we retire to the room and Jeannie puts on a robe
Sliding into the bed of heaven
Mrs. Smith, this is going to be the greatest night of my life
The greatest part of this is that I have no kids to wake me up
Betsy wakes up at 6:01 for coffee and viewing birds that were probably released for my pleasure
Do you know how much this is costing per minute? Get up Jeannie
We decide to take a hike
We start to walk by workers that gardening
When they see you they stop, stand, smile and ask you if you need anything
Landscapers saw us, they froze like deer
When we went by them they commenced working again
Tom has thought of everything
When a crossed eyed man in golf cart tells you "good luck" heed his warning
People are freezing along the trail "I'm a tree. I'm a tree. I'm a tree"
Maybe the trail was made for someone who came one time
Betsy, they did not release cows into the national forest for you to view
Queue the cattle
Someone left it on the comment card no doubt
Gotta watch out for the feral cows
Jeannie was petrified of them
Now you know why he told you good luck
That guy used to not be cross eyed till a cow incident
We can hear them shrieking and yelling
There they are . . . the soccer moms on the zip line
Whew, my Nike sports bra is twisted
We are on our way back
Jeannie freezes as we stand on Have you told anyone that you are not Mrs. Smith?
I see two brown ears rising out of this draining ditch
Out jumps a giant mule deer
Betsy chases it to take it's photo
The lesbians are crazy!
What are the lesbians doing now?
Time for lunch on the patio
We need some cigarettes and an ashtray
"Can I have an ashtray?"
She speaks into her cleavage mic
Around the corner, "I'm on it"
I know it is fun to play spies but this is weird
It was awesome though, instant ashtray
Lesbians are on porch, queue deer
Queue the geese
Then the soccer moms come bouncing back fit and tan
"Where are you guys from?"
Bloomington. "We are going to drive through there."
Their husbands, reserved and uptight
Screw it, this is all about me
I am going to make the soccer moms laugh
She swore that she was thirsty and all the sudden water showed up
"Guess how many kids we have?"
I don't know this is a game?
We have 10 combined?
How many are girls?
One
Then they struck a bad ass soccer mom pose
They brought things like running shoes
Betsy brought Crocs and sandals
Perfect lesbian gear
The soccer moms told us that the ATV's were awesome
We get ready to go and Misha shows up
I have done this ride 500 times and not lost 1 person yet
She takes out these top gun flight suits
I brought you the biggest ones we have
Betsy, "Of course mine won't zip up"
Jeannie, "neither will mine"
Jeannie you rock!
This could be customer service boot camp
Their motto must be "we are not going to tell you no"
They actually import vans from Europe to fit through their gates
Probably because it is more aesthetically pleasing
This is my new motto, "It is all about me"
Betsy gives me the thumbs up and then hits a tree
So we're going up the mountain
Jeannie is flying behind Misha
Betsy is stuck
I look down and my left hand has the brake so tight that I won't move
When you got on the quad the Unitarian in you took over
It was trying to save you
Oh, I'm sorry when was the last time you drove an ATV up a mountain
Betsy is trying to avoid the sticks
"Mam, that is an all terrain vehicle. Run over the sticks."
Hitting trees really hurts
Right before we get to The Top of the World
I look up and it is all Aspens and cattle
Jeannie starts to freak
Get me past that cow so fast
I am getting away from that cow so fast
Kris, we got to the top of mountain
You can see Utah, three mountain ranges at 9000 ft
We both had brown mustaches
It added to the lesbianism
Every time Betsy talks to the staff it is about her husbands and kids
Talk into your chest, the lesbians are not lesbians
These people are awesome
Misha ran a camp for bad ass kids
Like outward bound? Way scarier
Working at Elk Mountain Resort is top of the food chain
You have got to put in your time
John of course is an ex-Navy Seal
He is bad ass
You feel amazingly comfortable and slightly scared
I love men like that. Don't you Jeannie
Sure, he was handsome too
OK, time for this podcast to end
We ended on the ATV's and it was time to drink
Don't hand the truck driver the bottle
Four or five inches of vodka
Kris, we almost drank an entire bottle of vodka
Jeannie is naked in a robe and slippers
We are ripped
You are so awesome . . . No, you are so awesome
I look at clock and it is 9:00 p.m. and we haven't eaten
We dial "0" and they tell us that the dining room is still open for us
We arrive and there are flames to the ceiling
Chef Jeff is making bananas foster
The soccer moms start to speak to us
Betsy with her vodka mouth
"Are we going to be on your webcast?", soccer moms
Jeannie loves it when I get out of control
"We should introduce ourselves"
No that is OK, I already have a name for you, "The bad ass soccer moms"
It could go either way
Then the leader dies laughing
Right, there has to be an Alpha mom in the group
Yes, the one with the longest Escalade, the EXT
So Chef Jeff comes over
Betsy, "A-1 Jeff we're trashed. Can I call you Chef Jeff from now on"
That's not chatting it up that is drunk babble
Chef Jeff really made it
We don't go to gourmet restaurants and have the chef talk to us for 40 minutes
It was entirely phenomenal
Kris, I know we have talked about how I challenged the Russian to a vodka drinking contest
Can I take it back when you order the most expensive item on the menu?
And I was on the urge of vomiting
Kobe beef times 2 with bananas foster
Betsy looks at me like you better eat that bitch
Chef Jeff is buying us drinks
And I have to deny him because now I can't see him
I don't know where I am at
We stumble back to our room
There is that point, where you realize that I am done my man
Jeannie deals with Betsy, I am sick
I will lay in the bed of heaven
Betsy has the her cigarettes and the camera around her neck
You ticked me off
You don't like me anymore?
I'll like you tomorrow
You just ripped my underwear and are out of control
I proceed to go to the most beautiful bathroom in the states
And I don't even have to use my muscles
I have an exorcism of the most expensive meal I have ever ate
More babbling from Betsy
Typical Betsy move, "I made myself throw up"
This is the best planned bathroom of all time
6 feet from toilet to wall on a slate floor
Betsy made a bed right there with a Turkish robe
And I fell asleep on that cold stone slate floor and it felt so good
As I was falling asleep I thought to myself . . .
I love John, Misha, Chef Jeff and I love Tom the most
Why? Because he was smart enough to put a twin bed in the water closet
I don't know what we were thinking by drinking so much
I have nicotine and alcohol poisoning . . . I need to dial "0"
We have to do another show for Valhalla
It was the most emotional day of Jeannie's life
Sorry about your underwear dude
I'll get you a Target gift certificate
These were Victoria Secret
Do you know how much stuff I will have to find and sell from Goodwill?
Final installment of Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla comes your way tomorrow!

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Tags: kobe beef bananas foster Elk Mountain Resort Valhalla Shooting Club Chef Jeff bad ass soccer moms

croncast live july 8th - via twitter

Tue, 12 Jun 2007 18:24:48 -0500

sold a few more tickets today . . . shout out to Dallas who's coming out from Maryland

Tags: croncast live live show

Betsy and her husband Kris Jun 04, 2007

Mon, 04 Jun 2007 07:37:52 -0500

Croncast - 2007-06-04.mp3
Show: #371
Length: 34:31
Size: 23.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jun 04, 2007

Tickets are on sale now for the live show . . . get your's or find out more

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

Pick a post, any post to leave us a comment
Betsy starts the show by flossing with her own hair
Keeping in natural
Betsy gnawing on her hand
Kris says, "epididymitis" got his body part skin layers a bit off
Just swinging with the kids
Catherine the Great I am not
Why would you do that?
Are you kidding me
I've got the death march covered
I got a layer food to keep me alive for any miles long walk
Driving by all the closed down health clubs
They always open, they always go out of business
Locally owned and operated
Mega health clubs
Now the locals have signs like 27 months free
I asked who the hell would go there?
My dad
Le Beau's Health Club Aurora
Let the porn music play
Picture my dad as a tour guide
Using a lighter with your eyeliner
Le Beau's used to be in the country but now is surrounded by subdivisions
He would sit us down with a role of quarters
Maybe is just seedier in my memory
Mr. Le Beau comes on TV
We can't just keep open with the big
The leather bathing suite
I think it's great
I always thought Judy was fabulous
Cheated printed suede
Life Time Fitness is the one you are talking about
Everybody that joins gets a chubbiness check right away
The people come out with the pinchy things
It's fear marketing right your face
I know I'm fat, why else would I be here
They're telling you that you suck, you're worthless
And people are so sold on it
But if you work really hard you might be as cool as the receptionist
Waiting for the real estate class to start
She's 26 taking a stress test at Life Time?
Do you need another reason to hate yourself?
Lifetime is a fitness cult
They do it like other cults by getting into your head
Then they take your money and that of your other family members
And next is the indoctrination of your friends
Oh Mr. B
Busting my ass on eBay
No I'm not bitching at you
The Resale Queen post about the baby stuff
Jenny Rush rocks!
She stepped it up for the person here
Don't worry, Jenny Rush signed an NDA for our address ;-)
The first 6 months of his life she watched him during the day
Yeah, he had about 12 seizures today
Sure but it worked out because her son had the exact same type of epilepsy
He turned out okay, right Betsy?
Yeah, he became a doctor
No, he's gay
Kris, it doesn't get any better than a gay doctor son!
Who's gonna take care of you
If Elliot grows up and becomes a gay doctor I will join Life Time
What Jenny did was really cool
I am having that same sort of feeling that I had about 1 year into podcasting
There just is this network of people that keep doing things that we normally wouldn't be able to do because of proximity
Kris, this is the way that women take care of each other
All, I wanted to find was to find someone with a bigger trust fund than mine
And then I got you Kris
I got a trust fund!
A Folgers can full of Marlboro points up in the cabinet at my folks house
"You could have anything that you want baby, We're halfway to the pool table"
If I could hit rewind Bears
I would marry someone else, lived with him for 30 years, waited for him to die and then hooked up with you with his money
Oh, baby, I feel your bitterness
We go through the up periods and downs like everyone
Lately the introspection is a result of what great fortune has come to some friends
Their lives 3 years ago were completely different
For them it is a best case scenario type thing
Betsy is going to put her top 10 reasons that Naperville will change together

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
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Tags: Catherine the Great LeBeau's Health Club Aurora Marlboro points Folgers can Life Time Fitness

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr 27, 2007

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 07:19:58 -0500

Croncast - 2007-04-27.mp3
Show: #355
Length: 31:51
Size: 21.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris April 27, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

I did touch your garage sale money today though
Gigi wanted to pick it all up
The dog could have eaten it
I would make you pick it up Mr B
It could have happened
That's Betsy's baby
Since she's become a more cognizant being
Kids reach that certain stage where they are different
Before two they are like blank Play-Doh
Liking babies more than toddlers
Almost like you have a pal
You're busted baby!
Except I'll have boundaries and rules
Right, at garage sales even if Maggie sees it first it is still Momma's
The parental manipulation
Talking your way out of a speeding ticket
He broke the Smith law
Betsy joining the the Russian Court of Assassination
It is behavior based
He's a repeat offender
Lead footedness . . . does it make me a bad human being?
Yes, it does Mr B
Life is flexible
I feel sorry for you
The better manipulator you are the more successful you'll be
Betsy using her cunning at garage sales
You are asking the world to be flexible and then you get on my case
Doing it up for the home owners association
Betsy steps in to run the garage sale
The pestering late comers
Betsy attempts to will other garage sale posse to knock on doors before they open
Her own garage sale breakdown
Sold 200 things and made $100
Grumpy no food in the house husband showing up
Selling all of your crap that didn't sell on eBay to other people who think they scored a sweet item for resale on eBay
If it has been here for three months and I hadn't touched it . . . it went in the sale
Yes I sifted through your stuff while you were gone Mr B
Recording all the addicted garage salers
They have already made the decision to ruin there own lives
Tailorbyrd shirts from Mr B . . . one will end up on eBay
Someone can buy it Kris and use it as an afterglow mop
We've thought about how to make money with the show for a while
Solution . . . the tip jar shall return

We are going to do a live show here in Naperville . . . hopefully in July. We'd like to get about 40 people to come out so we can have the joint for about 2 hours. That means you need to get your friends to come out too. Let us know if you can swing it.

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
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Tags: Naperville garage sale lead foot Smith Law Betsy Smith Kris Smith

Reuters shares my sweat with world

Fri, 02 Feb 2007 10:39:29 -0600

The Reuters article came out yesterday morning about Wii parties.

It was cool not because Mike and I were quoted but that my sweaty 32 year old body got a nod. All deduced by reporter Nichola Groom from Flickr photos and an enthused nerd happy to talk about his Wii.

"At the end of the night, Smith, 32, was sweaty, exhausted, and completely sold on buying a Wii for himself. "

If had known that the article would have started with my name I would have changed it to something cool like Dirk Challenger.

Here's the invite if you'd like to check it out.

Tags: Nintendo Wii party Nichola Groom Reuters Kris Smith Mike Marusin sweaty 32

Betsy and her husband Kris Feb 02, 2007

Fri, 02 Feb 2007 07:27:59 -0600

Croncast - 2007-02-02.mp3

Show: #334
Length: 34:16
Size: 23.5mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris February 02, 2007

Nick T rating of 4

Nick T rating system:
Scale: 1 = Safe for everyone
Scale: 2 = Some parental guidance
Scale: 3 = Maybe this is for 12+
Scale: 4 = Not legal? Probably not for you - Adult themes (like HBO series)
Scale: 5 = Only safe for Betsy's dad

The jokey who left the 300th comment on the Wii Friend Code post
1 (900) Wii-Code
Getting them on the line to chat about their code
Anybody here? Anybody here? Anybody here?
I'm here . . . Now refresh
Betsy shook me down for old equipment to sell on eBay
She sold my brown Zune to some sorry soul
Yeah, I thought it sucked
Next to the Netgear SPH101 Skype phone it was the worst
iTunes is so far ahead of where Microsoft wants to be
The store is a science . . . MS doesn't have a chance starting so far behind
Urge? Yeah, urge to puke . . . urge to bodily
She also sold my DBX compressor/limiter/gate thing
Sold to the Columbus Arts Council
Betsy, "I have a new business idea."
Rows of monitors like head stones staring at you
Maybe they need parts
If I can sell it, it doesn't matter if it was free to me
"Free to Me" to be Betsy's autobiography title
Haven't you said about 100 times that you are going to do that
Land of Nod trip for the purse business
Is this a purse business anymore?
It's back to any hustle that you can get?
Yes, you're right Bears
Manipulating the Land of Nod staff with crying babies
The best day is to go the first day of the month for mark downs
Why it is no longer a purse business
What people expect in our basement . . . it is underwhelming
The Wii article ran in Reuters and then got picked up in many places
Betsy reads the article
"If you have ever picked you nose or punched someone . . . "
I am so embarrassed
What a 32 year old tool
Bernadette says, "Have you thought of horses?"
We know how that would go
Needle in the balls and bullet in the head
Betsy says they still cap them
Dramatic ending needed for champions
Maybe back in 1930 they shot them
FFA, the sheep and the shotgun . . . tell it Betsy
The big dollar sheep showing check
You were chasing the wrong poontang in high school, Kris
Those beefy farm chicks had mad cash

Tags: brown Zune FFA sheep Netgear SPH101 Columbus Arts Council Free to Me

Played Wii, grown man, sore body, hardly type

Fri, 15 Dec 2006 00:45:01 -0600

Mike did us up at Rick's tonight and we had the equivalent of a man Tupperware party. The Nintendo Wii is a hit even with old men.

I never thought that I would dig a video game system this much. If Mike were selling them (which I recommend to anyone who can get there hands on a couple) to us he could have sold 3 of them cause I know Henry would have bought one too.

I won't be the only nerd sore in the morning from swinging the controller around. My arms are dead from the boxing game . . . turns out I got some boxing juice that won't quit.

Update: Shots from our Wii party last night in the KlauManPit. My Mii player,

Tags: Wii Nintendo Wii Wii games Wii boxing Wii Naperville

Ron asks, 'What Equipment Do You Use?'

Sat, 09 Dec 2006 13:27:57 -0600

It's been a while since I talked about the equipment that I use and no time seems better than now thanks to this question:

"Can you tell me what microphones and mixer you use to record Croncast? (I heard the "expensive" microphone show recently and I had to laugh--I'm more interested in two microphones that are in the $100-$125 price range [each]).
Thanks!," Ron

Here's what currently makes up my audio signal path, hardware and software for Croncast.

2 - Marshall MXL 2003 microphones (Ron, for an extra $25 you won't be disappointed) [link]
2 - Universal Audio 6176 channel strips w/ preamp and compressor [link]
1 - PreSonus Firepod [link]
1 - Sony VGC-RB62G computer [link]
1 - Sony Sound Forge 8 audio editor [link]
1 - Waves L2 Ultramaximizer mastering compressor [link]
1 - Sony Vegas 6 multitrack for putting show together [link]
1 - Xing MP3 encoder (included in Vegas) encoded to Joint Stereo, 96 Kbps at 44.1 KHz
1 - MP3 Tag Tools to edit ID3 tags [link]
1 - iTunes to add more meta-data specific to iTunes (I can explain way below this)

This is what takes a Croncast from nothing to something.

Here's the breakdown.

Marshall Electronics MXL 2003 [link] microphones . . . I recommend these mics to everyone that asks. And after recently cheating on them with a Neumann U87ai I like them even more. With a price tag of $149 at most dealers you can't go wrong. We've used them now for two years and I own five of them. The sound is clear, they knock a lot of ambient noise down and their pick up pattern is second to none with a great low end and limited high end. The mic comes with a bass cut and a -10dB pad switch that can help when finding the right sound for your voice and recording space. These are phantom power microphones so I need a preamp.

Universal Audio 6176 [link] analog channel strip with 610 Tube Microphone preamp and 1176LN compressor. These two units are a new piece to the puzzle. They've replace the dbx 166XL that I was using for some limiting. The 6176's bring a nice warm sound to the shows that the 166XL didn't have. Most studios use them for recording bass tracks or heating up/distorting some vocals but I prefer them on a little lower setting to add a level bass and compression to our voices that would take me a couple of hours to create in post production through eq and other plug-ins.

PreSonus Firepod [link] is a 24-bit/96K FireWire recording interface with 8 preamplifiers (8 XLR/line inputs with phantom power). I originally bought this to replace an M-Audio MobilePre that was flaking out and causing intermittent popping in tracks. The reason that I chose the Firepod was primarily the 8 XLR inputs with phantom power to multitrack instead of force output to a single stereo track . . . a huge plus when recording more than 4 voices for a show. Also, if the UA 6176 wasn't part of the signal chain anymore I could live with the sound, I did for five months.

Sony VGC-RB62G [link] Intel Dual Core 2.8GHz with 2GB RAM. I've done little modification of this box other than adding a new video card, an extra FireWire card, a gig of RAM and a second hard drive. Usually, I prefer to build my own computer but was in the middle of the Alltel Racing Podcast when the old one died and I needed something right away. I went to Fry's and this box was best thing that they had in stock that met my requirements. It is or was sold as a Media PC and came with remote, surround speaker set up and more software than I could care to have (primarily the shit that just gums up the system). The only complaint that I have had so far with this computer is that every input in the back of it USB, FireWire or 1/8' has a ton of electrical noise in it when used for recording. I am forced to use the front 4 pin FireWire input for what should normally be a transparent sound recording.

Sony Sound Forge 8 [link] audio editor. This is the software that I record the shows into. I have been using Sound Forge for the last 7 years. When I got my first computer in 1999 at age 25 I learned how to use it by working with Steinberg's WaveLab (another great audio editor) but late in that year switched to Sound Forge. WaveLab had a lot of great features but they never compared the bundle of plug-ins that came with or for Sound Forge. WaveLab relied on the VST model and Sound Forge on Direct-X which meant that there were also more plug-ins to choose from. The killer plug-in was the Noise Reduction tool that prior to version 7 (maybe 6) wasn't bundled with the license. It is the best noise reduction tool on the market. I've heard most of the rest first hand, even the ones used in million dollar studios and would still choose the one in Sound Forge. I don't use Noise Reduction on our show but when doing post on audio recorded out of the studio I use it about 90% of the time.

Waves L2 Ultramaximizer [link] mastering compressor. Yep, I already ran the audio signal through an amazing compressor in the 6176 but the L2 puts the finishing touches on the wav file before I close out Sound Forge. This plug-in is the secret in my sauce. I have used it for about four years and find it's sound brighter, more open and louder than any other including Ozone 2 or 3 (which is an attempt to recreate the sound at a lower cost).

Sony Vegas 6 [link] multitrack video editor. Video? Did Kris just say, video? I sure did. When this product was first developed by Sonic Foundry it started out as a multitrack audio mastering suite that was supposed to be an upgrade from their Acid line of software. That didn't quite work out and they released a second version for video. With two competing versions on the market they made the wise decision to morph them together into Vegas Video, Sonic Foundry was bought by Sony and the rest is history. I use Vegas basically the same way that I use Dreamweaver for coding pages, as a template. All i have to do for Croncast is plug in each new recording on the timeline and poof there is a fully mastered show.

Xing MP3 encoder (included in Vegas) all shows are encoded to Joint Stereo, 96 Kbps at 44.1. This lowest quality that I will encode my own work to or for that of a client. This range is somewhat higher than many podcasters will recommend for a speech driven show but I find that anything less sound hollow and purely focuses on midrange sounds. Blah. At a bit rate lower than 96 Kbps most audio encoders, like this one, won't allow for a sample rate of 44.1 KHz. I used to encode the shows to a lower value two years ago when we first started but then iTunes came to town and studios started cranking out CD quality audio files. Once that bar was raised I figured it was okay for me to join that party.

MP3 Tag Tools [link] to edit ID3 tags. It is open source and the best ID3 tag editor that I have found. It will allow you to make changes to version 1 and 2 tags that will cover most of the popular media players like WinAmp, Windows Media Player and iTunes. It'll even let you add up to 18 images per file in the album art that can be displayed in iTunes.

iTunes for adding iTunes specific data to the ID3 tag. Didn't you already do this? Sort of. iTunes uses on the variances of the ID3 V2 tag standard to display meta data that is included with the MP3.

That is it friends. Once all that crap has happened it is time to upload the show to the server, fire up Castlock, start adding show notes and then make the show available for download.

Tags: MXL 2003 Universal Audio 6176 PreSonus Firepod Waves L2 Ultramaximizer Sony VGC-RB62G

Betsy and her husband Kris Dec 08, 2006

Fri, 08 Dec 2006 07:00:50 -0600

Croncast - 2006-12-08.mp3

Show: #311
Length: 29:40
Size: 20.3 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris December 08, 2006

Betsy is going crazy over there
Earlier this week . . . this is the problem I never follow my own advice
I am a brilliant woman
Listen up. I'm going to tell you
Betsy's eBay crystal ball
It said buy Build-a-Bear Happy Feet Mumble penguin
She was brave
And everyone went out and bought them and Betsy bought . . . none
A soldier goes into battle, suck it up kid momma's gotta make some cash
Mumble's are sold out
Oh sugar what time are you done putting your shipment away?
Don't even unpack them . . . they're worth more in the box
The dog's insane barking
He doesn't belong in man pit
Some tubes just aren't connected
American Girl mini illumaroom and drawer at Goodwill
Betsy explains what it is
That's perfect for you
The mating Care Bears on the couch . . . 21 of them
Video games in foreign languages are better than Rosetta Stone
Rhymes with cube and world
What was in the good shit case
The repeat postal truck matchbox car . . . 40 in a case
Betsy is trying to make one thing happen
The stuff that Kris wants to do before he dies
Betsy quotes a Tom Waits song
She says that she'll go to a show with me
I have picked Betsy's next career . . . stealing from the blind
Promoting her to the next level
It is an easy score
Taking the kids to work at Goodwill
The tao kwon do uniform of filth
I'm out there in the trenches Mr. B.
I'm out there with those with boobs so low they have road rash on their nipples
Elliot know has a padded room
Two queen sized beds and a third mattress
Will he sleep in his own room?
Returning stuff to Costco
They would take cookie crumbs back
I have washed a lot of things in my 32 years
Betsy is going to buy term life insurance and a craftmatic adjustable bed
Why would you want to prank call them, you're 30 years old?
I am flush with Care Bears
We need to do a live show . . . with an audience
What you want to get my mom and the cat down here?
She can clap the kitty paws
We're thinking maybe in March when we come back from break
Betsy might do a new Resale Queen post

Tags: Build-a-Bear Happy Feet Mumble penguin American Girl mini illumaroom Care Bear lovin Tom Waits road rash nipples

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 27, 2006

Mon, 27 Nov 2006 07:50:15 -0600

Croncast - 2006-11-27.mp3

Show: #306
Length: 36:06
Size: 24.8 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris November 27, 2006

Here with the two things that must happen: draining water and my American baby
Equating 'Christian' to all Christians including the scientists and the evangelicals
Betsy was interviewed by the Christian Science Monitor
Coming off the pseudo holiday vacation
The big plate
My Fiestaware is full
Betsy sort of regrets doing the CSM interview
"I wasn't quoted that accurately"
Yes you were
The demand and filling it . . . pimps could use the same line of reasoning
Betsy is not the evil resale queen of eBay
This is what they said about you
"Smith probably won't be one of the big spenders"
That will be on tombstone
It was true . . . but it made me sound like . . .
The toy experts think that is is stupid
Betsy says the same thing except she'll still sell you one
Kris thinks it was a window into Betsy
I'll suggest an article about workaholic daddies
"My life is tough"
In the trenches with 6 year old
Hanging with family on the holiday
Are they bating me or is this a real topic?
Your parents knew . . . just chose to ignore it
The destination Grizzly Jack's
Betsy wants the pool to open at 6 am without lifeguards
"Chubb rub down the water slide" all night
The ultimate buy your kid a popsicles and a beer for yourself
Wisconsin right here in Illinois
The greatest Italian beef sandwich of all time
Waiting in a restaurant with 3 babies and a toddler
"It's good cause it's spicy"
Baby, that was hot Oscar Meyer beef processed in a factory
You may die tomorrow but just eat it
Was I as a kid it tasted different
Kris was 19 before he ever had Chinese
It's the same stuff you eat everyday, just chopped up smaller
Betsy has to bring up my mom, thanks
The Little Tikes Activity Garden that was sold out from underneath Gigi
Yes, yes . . . please leave now
There's two things at work here
Betsy's humor out of context with her body language and affect missing she comes off harsh
Kris isn't sure that he knows that person
Betsy says that Kris is shoving Betsy into fame two hands on her fanny
"Why don't you just let me dumpster dive and raise your children. That's all I want to do."
Weekend discoveries
We saw The Black Keys Saturday night
It's not the same song
A man singing about himself and his peanut butter sandwich
Kris goes deep
Betsy nominates Kris to be neighborhood Santa
Kris takes it personally
Betsy, "I thought you had the body type for it."

Tags: Fiestaware Christian Science Monitor Grizzly Jack's Grand Bear Resort Peru Pizza House The Black Keys

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 25, 2006

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 06:49:00 -0500

Croncast - 2006-10-25.mp3

Show: #289
Length: 34:49
Size: 23.9 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris October 25, 2006

Change up the intro to leave a comment from email
We can't keep up with the email . . . comments are better
Someone won't fix my broken computer
Means that Kris can do a show without Betsy distracted by the shiny screen
Betsy has access to computers
Kris apologizes for being an ageist
Betsy reads the email (I'll post it as a comment below)
Seriously, I do want to apologize for being so harsh on the age
Have some mercy on this "old lady"
I like the creative, you got under my skin, tongue and cheek responses
I'm trying to quote you Robin and I blow it
Betsy rolling her eyes as I cut her off
I will try not make fun of people
Betsy claims that she has two friends
Birthday gifts for her two friends but what about me?
Betsy's token republican friend thinks gifts are a set up
January 9th for Betsy and November 12th for Kris
I will get her nothing this year
The thoughtful gift friend will get Betsy to go the extra mile
Booba sold her Elmo TMX's on eBay
Your mom is now trying to be your friend
Kris kicked that door wide open, no way
The mommy call came in
When I have time to
Betsy's great impersonation of that lady
"I bet Betsy doesn't nurse you does she?"
It's all awkward and horrible . . . same call 5 years later like they never stopped
I'm not gonna call
I think Betsy is starting to love me more
I have been madly in love with you for 15 years, now I'm tired
This is how you sell an Elmo TMX
Gigi gets tested and her speech therapy will be "on her terms"
Gigi wants nothing to do with babydom
Betsy takes us down the social worker road
Kris goes on the pizza job tangent again
300th by 300th

1) Fill out the appropriate form for you - *New* Listener or Get a Handle (current listener)
2) Verify your email address (Activates and qualifies those with a "Handle")
3) *New* listeners get activated and qualified by using their special RSS feed
4) 300th new listener and the person whose Handle they use win iPods AND
5) A drawing for 2 more iPods from everyone who entered!

Tags: 300 by 300th birthday Elmo TMX resale queen token republican friend

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 18, 2006

Fri, 18 Aug 2006 06:03:11 -0500

Croncast - 2006-08-18.mp3

Show: #264
Length: 24:58
Size: 17.1 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris August 18, 2006

It' show notes lite again, sorry. I have a crazy work schedule this week. Hopefully, I can elaborate more soon.
Betsy calls me a dog hater
I don''t have time for anybody who wants to pee on me
Zeus isn't asking me to write a check
People who dodge punches are not Kris I get right in the way of them
People who make me nervouse
Used car guy who doesn't have the title
The last person you want to see is someone that you sold a used car to at your door
He's got nothing to lose
Oil light in Slowsky
Fantasy cars and satisfaction
The Puggle story redeaux
When you stuck with water purifiers
Kris started shaving in the 7th grade for his goatee cultivation
AC DC soundtracks
Betsy's Dad and Judy just got back from Rome
Betsy wants to have her dad on for the 300th show
Show topic . . . oh boy
300 by the 300th
John Elway begins his customer service skills early (Thanks David C.)

Update: Ben points out to me that this image has obviously been doctored. Still funny though!

Tags: Slowsky dog 300 by 300th AC DC Rome Puggle

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 11, 2006

Fri, 11 Aug 2006 06:17:07 -0500

Croncast - 2006-08-11.mp3

Show: #261
Length: 39:03
Size: 26.8 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris August 11, 2006

We figured out what to do for the 300th show . . . give some stuff away.

We're calling it "300 by 300th". It's quite ambitious. Here's the timeline:

1) Send us an email, "You should listen to Croncast because . . ."
2) Many emails will be put in special page on Monday the 14th
3) 300 by 300th begins with more information, graphics, links and registration page on the site
4) We hit 300 registered new listeners (some information to follow) and the new listener wins a 30gb iPod and the referring listener wins one also.

Here we come, recorded on our anniversary
You will want to remeber the email thing . . . like you forgot
We recorded this on our 10th wedding anniversary on the 10th
Betsy wants to tell the story of yesterday
She speaks of the many phone calls to her mother
It is a size issue is all Betsy hears
She says Kris can't keep a secret
Kris was talking about a refridgerator no a dog
Betsy calls to tell me she is going to see the dog
Kris tells her no
Flinstones anniversary gifts like a fridge
Zeus's sign is gone and he is on hold for a family coming to visit
Betsy asks to play with the dog then
She went to library and picked up some puppy books
Turned the dog back in
She was pissed and wanted to call in a threat to have dog store closed
First Kris doesn't want a dog, Second he'd have to take the dog in his car
She calls me to tell me about the sad sale or perception that dog is sold
Betsy was pissed at me for not showing up soon
Kris walks in with a grand announcement
She can't wait to see the receipt from Fry's
He bought something that he saw on Cribs too big for our kitchen
And out creeps Zeus
Kris was the family from far away that put the dog on hold
Betsy broke down in tears for 45 minutes
People were behind me on the no dog ground
Kris listens to listeners more than he listens to me
Kris is going to justify the purchase of said dog
I break it down
Just thinking about the dog riding in my car nearly made me sick
Filling the need with the rebound dog
I still think it is a bad idea, however, she would have bought the dog anyway
Kris pegged Betsy for slaking the family and watched every place outside the store
Betsy don't send out the vibe
So now he's here and he's a good dog
The second part of the gift giving
Hey buddy, I got your mom another gift and she can have it when she comes down stairs
I knew he would tell Betsy and she would get excited
And in all of my unslickness Betsy comes back in 2 minutes
300 by 300th

Tags: anniversary iPod Zeus 300 by 300th Dog Patch Naperville

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 09, 2006

Wed, 09 Aug 2006 07:04:46 -0500

Croncast - 2006-08-09.mp3

Show: #260
Length: 29:40
Size: 20.3 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris August 09, 2006

Happy anniversary, though it really isn't today
Betsy's sister has ruined the magic by telling us when it really is
"We can have a lovefest for days, right?"
"Are you kidding . . . we have kids"
Betsy and her sister having snacks
We are going to pretend that it is the 20th
Figuring out what day it is by using a calendar online
Computers have taken the mystery out of almost everything
No excuse for blissful ignorance
Betsy kidnapped me and car jacked me
On way to Verizon store and Betsy detours
Time to get Booba a new phone
Kris: manipulated again into letting Betsy take charge
Kris has a great day today
Sean says I have right to bew grumpy and Betsy should put up with it
I'm a bear that has to hibernate
Anniversary is coming I have no clue where Betsy is takin me
I thought it would be something nice
It turns out that God spelled backwards and put Patch after it and that is where I ended up
See the image above
They don't sell puppy mill dogs . . . sure
The internet has taken joy out of looking for a dog
Betsy extolls the great virtue of Petfinder.com
Is it owned by FriendFinder (notice no link)
Betsy is way to into this dog thing . . . I am having hard time fighting it
Giving up good dogs to keep the bad ones because they will get dirt nap
Taking the kids on her doggie rebound trip
I don't think it is fair to the kids
10 years of marriage
Deployed in WI for 3 years writing wills for soldiers
I really question Betsy taking the kids with her
It is shopping . . . not just lookinig at dogs
Am I alright? You are not going to turn this around on me
She's setting up the kids with the dog business
They understand more than she thinks and gives him credit for
This is shopping for a dog, not looking period
He knows when you go to stores you buy things
Kris is not a dog hater, Zeus is a good dog, however I have rationalized not needing a new dog
The old ass cats as old as Abe Lincoln's bones
Betsy's need to bring havoc into our lives
Doggy proofing already . . . I can't win
So what does it mean to be married for 10 years at our ages 31 and 30?
Obviously, it could have been very bad
You got married young
At older age you have way of running your own life and set in your way
We have the same ways
"That is really annoying about Kris I can't believe that you put up with that"
"Who says that"
That doesn't gel with my life
I don't care your ticks don't bother
It doesn't feel like 10 years to me it feels like a year
Our marriage has gotten better in the last 10 years
Ball and chain? Not really
Kris goes off on some bizarre tangent that makes no sense at all
All I can say is thanks Mr. B for giving me room to do what I want to do
In the basement like a pile of pudding
Kris is keeping secrets
Betsy could have gotten the dog tonight if she had done one thing . . .

Tags: dog Pet Finder marriage anniversary Dog Patch Naperville

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 07, 2006

Fri, 07 Jul 2006 07:11:07 -0500

Croncast - 2006-07-07.mp3

Show: #246
Length: 36:58
Size: 25.4 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris July 07, 2006

Betsy will have gifts from Maggies guacamole love
All she says is momma
Betsy and Maggie had lunch with me
The guacamole caked her dress
Betsy fed her some more guacamole at home
Eating food off the floor, she has standards
Off setting the guacamole with cheese
If they sold milk at garage sales
My jeans were $80
When you're listening to this I will be wearing the same clothes
What you and your wife do is cute
Jeans were not that much money for ones that fit right
Knock-off ketchup will set Kris off
Betsy says I spend too much money on stuff
"Do you know how many pairs of jeans I could have bought you for $80 at Goodwill?"
Betsy is trying for the senior discount
Garage sale booty
The secret to Betsy shopping speeds
Possible fake Coach purse
Hanging at the Tech Cockatil mixer
Being able to buy things makes me feel good
It's the nicest gift besides giving her grand-children
Doctor asks if Betsy and I are related . . . nice
Our fly farm and my fly paper business
More anniversary talk
Slowsky is coming home!!!

Tags: guacamole tooth paste Goodwill TECH Cocktail Coach