stars | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

Marc Vandreessen's Hollywood vision

Mon, 12 Nov 2007 13:45:24 -0600

Marc Vandreessen put up an excellent post today, Rebuilding Hollywood in Silicon Valley's image, about the current writers' strike in Hollywood and the impact that it could have on the industry and their business models.

"The writers' strike, and the studios' response to the strike, may radically accelerate a structural shift in the media industry -- a shift of power from studios and conglomerates towards creators and talent."

Recommended reading for anyone producing media. Yeah, you too non-Hollywood basement producer this impacts you.

I had a conversation with Tim Street late last week where he pointed out many of things that Marc hit on. Obviously, Tim's perspective is less Valley oriented but since he is a producer, but the sentiment is the same. It is is time for the creatives to take control of their work and distribute it online themselves.

The time seems to be right for this to come together. It sort of feels like podcasting did in 2004 when the stars aligned.

Tags: Writers strike internet television Marc Vandreessen Tim Street

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 03, 2007

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 09:27:44 -0500

Croncast - 2007-08-03.mp3
Show: #393
Length: 32:41
Size: 22.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 03, 2007

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Kris is losing his voice
The most emotional day of Jeanie's life ensues
Jeanie wakes up hammered
Betsy woke up and rubbed her feet all over Jeanie
It is the curse of Betsy
Betsy hates feet, can't stand feet
Wants nothing to do with feet
However, she can't keep her feet off of you
She has to put them on you
And these aren't regular feet
They are a women's size 12
A man's size 11 1/2
And they are like meat hooks
Dry, jerky meat hooks
And they are rough and jagged with a sixth toe on each foot
Like the Chinese guy in the Guinness Book
It must be a female thing
Evan yells at me when I do it to him
Why do you gotta put your toes on me?
Get on your own side dude!
Sorry, Mrs. Smith greatest day ever isn't gonna cap out
While I'm dying of alcohol and nicotine poisoning
I wake up and the toilet is full of Kobe of bananas foster
I didn't puke on the floor . . . it is from when I got out of the shower to puke
Jeanie, "This is gross"
We have to get up, today is the second greatest day of my life
The day that I get to go and shoot stuff
I'll have the fruit plate
It comes back as fruit art
We tell the waiter, but it is obvious that Betsy is hungover
The waiter comes back with cappuccino for the ladies
Jeanie gets amped
Somebody give that woman a firearm
Betsy now feels the same way that I did when we were on the ATVs
Even Linda Hogan has to put chin to cleavage and push on
No pressure, step up to the plate
We walk in to Valhalla
Turns out that John is going to help us
There are like 10 bronze Remington statues
Gigantic NRA flags on the wall
Celebrity photos on the wall
John, ex-Navy Seal, comes over and talks to us
I have never listened so hard in my life
"Oh shit, we are really going to do this"
This will be in live combat simulation mode
The bullets will explode
"We do not point the gun at anyone. Including me," John
This is when Jeanie begins to panic
We have to sign a waiver with or social security number
If you had been in the presence of an ex-Navy seal
John comes over and lays down 9mm pistols in front of us
Jeanie looses her color, "I'm trapped in this steal room with pulverizing bullets"
More instructions on how to hold the gun
He helps Jeanie out arm over arm
We are not going to be Olympic competitors if rifle
Ready position
Jeanie pulled . . . and she melted
The Navy Seal saw it coming
He grabs her. Jeanie, "Bull shiiiit!"
All of the sudden there are stars in the sky
She is still standing right next me
I can't quit shaking
Do you need some water?
He grabs lapel, "We have a freaker"
He knew you were going to hit the road
Lodged, malfunction, strike the magazine
Bang, bang, b-bang
Shells are falling all around Betsy's Crocs
Betsy turns around with the gun and Jeanie hits the deck
That is just the beginning
Betsy, "It's OK to go Jeanie"
Trying to be encouraging while crying
Jeanie is the world's best friend
John2 at the front desk watches the uncontrollable shaky Jeanie
Do you want some oxygen?
Finally they send a car
Meanwhile back at Valhalla . . .
OK you shot'em in the head . . . but it doesn't mean they can't still kick your ass
You keep shooting till they don't move
The look on your face is the look in that picture!
John has made a very large impact on your life
I am going to take you to a live scenario room
If this were a long term course we would work on your startle reflex
Betsy is awesome with a pistol
They take Betsy into a biker bar with a terrorist
I know it went down but you've got to keep shooting them
So Betsy clears the room . . . "Clear and cold"
Fear of firearms
John, "We have one more room for you"
He walks Betsy into a biker bar scenario room
Your face baby, oh my god
So in the corner of the bar is a robber
All you can see is his head and arm because it was around a hostage
I turned and dropped him with one shot between the eyes
It was the best feeling that I ever had
So Kris this is what I am thinking . . . a well armed wife is a happy wife
"You cannot beat and armed woman"
They sold purses designed for your concealed weapon
I am putting it out there for birthday
Henry just erased everything off his board and wrote, "I win."
You might be the first person to be turned away at the Unitarian church
I was going to tell Elliot, "Mommy took down a terrorist today"
So now it is time to leave
Cold maze is a good maze
I think something that contributed to my discomfort was not breast feeding for 3 days
To the right of me is a breast pump going full speed
Betsy finished up . . . and says I got to get rid of this stuff
It's like the trucker's pee bombs
Yeah, except this is 90 proof
She looks out window and says, "Are you ready?"
Jeanie, "Why is it going to be beautiful? Is it going to turn into fairy dust"
Is this going to be amazing?
I gotta do this cool because there is a wind going
Betsy throws it out . . . and it comes right back at her
The inside of the Volvo is now covered with breast milk
We stop at the Continental Divide
You remember how I feel about high mountain roads
Betsy, keep talking to me, keep talking
Those nets are to catch landslides
You could have explained pump and dump
All of the sudden we see cable cars
"The highest point on highway 50"
It is gorgeous
I was not feeling well
Jeanie is shaking, exhausted and needs a pick me up
Betsy, what kind of fudge do you want
"What dude," Betsy says Colorado slow
I think that I am freaking out
Now we have to drive down the mountain
Fudge won't help anything
We made it down it ok
But we were following an RV
Can you use those for cars?
No you have to hit the mountain
The RV's brakes were on fire
It took us six hours to get home
That's it, installment 4 of Betsy and Jeanie's trip to Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla Shooting Club

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Tags: Remington Valhalla Shooting Club Linda Hogan Continental Divide shop Betsy Smith Jeanie Bowen

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 18, 2007

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 08:03:09 -0500

Croncast - 2007-07-18.mp3
Show: #388
Length: 15:53
Size: 10.9mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 18, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

Why is it that you are always calling me names?
I gotta get to my posse at Goodwill
Mike Marusin
Garbage equals cash
Trash is a state of mind
The CEO will have that tattooed on himself
A gorgeous mausoleum
They gotta keep things rolling
Their executives were felons years ago
Big rims and rolling large
I am having a phenomenal eBay week
This is my Valhalla money
I gotta sell this shit
Michigan Avenue bags turned into something else
We're still cracking away at it
We are selling more stuff that comes from Land of Nod
It is all outlet goods but selling well
Look at this
It's like the L.L. Bean for kids
I have never seen it
Yeah, they do . . . Elliot's room is Land of Nod
Someone has to return their stuff
The boy chained to the log didn't sew it right
The stars aligned and the heavens opened
Patch flannel comforter cover
Screen printed all over
Screen printed stuff smells
Not worth the hassle send it to the outlet
Your driving trip to Boulder
You found that one little thing to exploit and make money for your trip
Every piece of patch of patch flannel will be owned by you
The stuff for little boys is never cute . . . always rugged
The frilly fluffy stuff goes for the girls
Illustrators are doing the design work for them
You are so child like
Man, I am tired
I can't believe we did all these shows tonight
Friday will be the Q & A from the live show

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
Look for the graphic on "Audience Survey" on the main page

Tags: Land of Nod Valhalla Goodwill Industries trash is cash frilly fluffy stuff

Vacation calls, you're on your own for today

Mon, 25 Jun 2007 06:59:23 -0500

Before reading on, the short of it is that we won't be releasing a show today.

You are now free to take the thirty minutes or so that you would have spent with us and think about things like when is the last time you bumped in to a serial killer and didn't know it, why aging rock stars are now having their faces botoxed smoothed like pebbles and why they think they look good or something that I can't think of that would make a great comment on this post.

Friday June 22 Approximately 2:05 p.m. EST

Betsy - It's a vacation
Kris - We need to record on Saturday then
Betsy - You need to replace some gear don't you?
Kris - Yes
Betsy - Get on it

Friday, June 22 Approximately 7:32 p.m. EST

Betsy - Where the hell were you?
Kris - The only place that had the gear was in Cicero
Betsy - It takes you 30 hours to go and back?
Kris - It was 25 miles and by Midway
Betsy - WTF took so long?
Kris - I got lost on th there. There was insane construction on 355 and 55
Betsy - You are such a dork

Saturday, June 23 Approximately all day

Betsy - We have to get ready to go on this trip
Kris - I've got a ton of work to do

Sunday, June 24 Approximately 6:30 a.m. EST

All - Leave the house
Kris and Betsy - Arrive in the Dells 1:30 p.m.
Monday, June 25 Approximately right now EST

Kris - We won't have a new show up until Friday
Kris - There won't be a show today
Kris - For Wednesday I will throw together 30 min compilation show

Tags: late show rock star botox Croncast Wisconsin Dells arcade

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 12, 2007

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 05:54:34 -0600

Croncast - 2007-01-12.mp3

Show: #326
Length: 34:30
Size: 23.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 12, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by Ben Witt.
Also brought to you Black Box wine . . . just cause Betsy finds so delicious
Melissa is back with us again for a special show
She is going to sign up to be the Brockway Girl (I would link this up but the links are broken to their own promotion)
Melissa works at the group home that we collected and you donated dough to
She came on to thank everyone and get Betsy's hook up help
"Geek husbands are the best," Betsy
I'm not like them. Do you want to come over and play Wii with me?
I smiled and nodded but I really wasn't interested in it
You want me to what?
If you enjoy single life you will enjoy being married to a geek
Their direct deposit goes into your account
Nerds are loyal and won't disappear with your neighbor
Give'em lots of cereal
Mc Donald's gift card and no allowance
Getting your nerd 'sun like' light from special bulbs
Can we throw your photo on the site?
Hotter to every nerd . . . pic in front of mic
Not that I have been home thinking about it
Betsy has a master plan for Melissa
A beer girl to?
In Germany Kris could apply to be a beer girl and win
She should win because her last name is Brockway

"I don't know why you don't have a harem," Betsy
Melissa doesn't understand search engine results
She reads some of our search engine hits for the last 4 days

Girls gone wild, spice channel, nipples, girls gone wild on airplane, Hot pic french maid, full body corset, animal husband, Dr. Oz gain an inch,Goodwill store commercials, drink drano, canker, RSS girls gone wild, cuffs, sexy fifties, issues with john elway dodge, betsy porn, "vasectomy didn't work"

So that is how the world finds us
Getting a vasectomy in Tijuana
I don't where a t-shirt that says I have hang-ups
Even if he sees his friends from online he wouldn't know who they are
Look at Kris, that is the geek defense
You'll understand someday
I came on the show to thank everybody for everything that they gave to us
We had the best Christmas at the Lisle group home
The best one that we have had with them ever
Thank you to your listeners!
Today is Kris's last khaki pant day, it is over
Kris, you have to shower everyday . . . you'll get stars on your page
Wii tournament January 27th

Tags: Ben Witt Brockway Girl Brockway Chophouse geek husbands Wii tournament

Betsy and her husband Kris Dec 22, 2006

Fri, 22 Dec 2006 08:31:18 -0600

Croncast - 2006-12-22.mp3

Show: #317
Length: 26:14
Size: 18.0 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris December 22, 2006

Today's show is brought to you by Craig Patchett
Sorry for this one Craig but I was in a bad mood last night and the show . . . well . . . it is shorter than usual, we owe you 4 minutes or so
Black Box Wine drink it like a spigot
I is like a giant juice box
That is the nice part about living with your mom
Franzia, no it is not Franzia
"Better than Franzia in small print"
I don't need any of that
The cell phone photo
Discarded prophylactic on the sidewalk
It was really the parking garage
Not common in a corporate parking garage
Betsy thinks it is normal for a suburban swampland
I know you were pretty young, mr ziploc
Wanna see where I took all my dates
It looked like a slasher set
Let's go take a look at the stars
When you're 16 it works
Discard the Cub Foods bag totally loaded
So where are they gonna go kick it Mr. B?
Behind Old Navy? No. Because freaks like me need cardboard
It is just something that you can't discard
Getting a Hep shot
Most people need them not catch if from the K-mart bathroom
Yes I did get super outraged
Betsy reads about herpies . . . Kris gets cold sores . . .NO HE DOES NOT
That's ok Kris I have come to grips with your disease
I don't have cold sores
Stress . . . bleedy pockets, are you nuts! . . . canker sores
The Monday role reversal
Listening to old shows and Betsy says some mean things to Kris
Betsy has broken down and is back at Goodwill
It's like selling Italian ice in the middle of winter
I wasn't going to tell you that I was going
But they had something perfect for you
Betsy calls and asks me to send her money
I never complain when she asks for Goodwill loot
Karma says Betsy should be there
And so did Kris
Kris's little country ditty for Betsy
"I swore off Goodwill on a Sunday, I was back at store opening on Monday"
Maggie got some pretty Barbies
I got you something the other day . . . I gotta wash it first
"You can't put this in the show notes"
(&*&^*&%&%&^*(&(*&(*&((*
*&^%GU*^YUI*YHU*&YU*((&^
(*HH^YT^G&HUI(IUI(KU&*I
Cut two sides out of a white kitchen back and wear it around all day
(&*&^*&%&%&^*(&(*&(*&((*
*&^%GU*^YUI*YHU*&YU*((&^
(*HH^YT^G&HUI(IUI(KU&*I
Thank god for internet porn
Kris really wants a . . . yeah 10 years ago
It was a lifestyle thing
Betsy finally tells me what she wants instead of reading between the lines
I'll probably drop it in the tub with you in it
We will be back on Christmas day!!
Find a quite corner on Monday and listen to the show all by yourself

Tags: Craig Patchett Black Box wine Franzia Discarded prophylactic canker sores bleedy pockets

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 02, 2006

Wed, 02 Aug 2006 06:27:35 -0500

Croncast - 2006-08-02.mp3

Show: #257
Length: 30:39
Size: 21.0 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris August 02, 2006

It's August and it is hot
Global warming isn't real
I believe like our president we need to wait, the future will let us know
Let's burn some fossil fuel bitches
I will drive my Hummer til it's 127 outside, I'll just turn up the AC
Without Maggie being with us when we record we swear more
The lawn mowing boys
Well they aren't boys they are college age
Cursed with a beautiful backyard that takes work, not for us
Butterfly Garden
I was gonna take pictures of the yard but camera battery is dead
Swearing and swearing more
You're being inappropriate with me lady
He is like an honor roll student who now has to work for a burnout
"I didn't know people like you actually grew up and owned houses"
He knows we don't fit, they all do within 15 minutes
National Night Out
Hanging with the neighbors and their kids
Building a stronger safer neighborhood
Letting the kids ride in the cop cars
Weird electrical hum in Bestys mic for about 3 minutes
Betsy won't end the shows on a loving note
"Good night Hugh, I love you"
I am sure their was some office love
Betsy likes to have nothing the same, ever
Just look at this like a suggestion
The difference between actors and reality stars
They are competition
Enamoration (made up word) of the King of Cars Guy . . . Betsy is infatuated with Chop
"We would both have something to talk about because we both have reality shows"
Kris gets bright red
"That bastard. Chop you're going down. You're destroying my family. Some man in Las Vegas who sells used cars. He's taking my wife from me . . . and my life."
If you find someone attractive on a reality show don't tell your spouse
Is Jeremy Piven ok to tell you I like as Ari?
Wait, he did a reality show
Betsy asks who I think is hot
My reply, the chics on the tattoo reality shows
If we were just friends I would fly you to Vegas for a tattoo
"I hear Towbin Dodge is around here someplace"
I know your motive Betsy
I don't look like Chop. Betsy thinks separated at birth . . . say what?
He's a well groomed Bears
Betsy really likes this guy
Mike Rowe is rad but sometimes comes off as an ass, don't we all
The stay in school remark to the ore shoveler guy
Our turn to come off as asses
Transgender understanding
The human condition
When you can't figure it out
Looking for bulges
I don't get it, I pegged you for a boy but it doesn't matter but I can't but it together
The Madonna concert
Take me to Fry's it is my concert
Now I know what it is like when I take people to Goodwill
Strangers at Goodwill talking to my kids, turns out they are buddies

Tags: King of Cars Chop Goodwill Towbin Dodge Jeremy Piven National Night Out

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 113

Wed, 24 Aug 2005 05:41:35 -0500

Croncast - 2005-08-24.mp3

Show: #154
Length: 36:43
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 16.9 mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 113

Geoffrey sends a special message with his support donation, "More sex, less dead dogs pls."

I'm with you Geoffrey, next time Betsy wants a story that I am reluctant to tell, I will switch it up with something slightly less horrifying like sex and us.

Show notes:

Betsy cuts into intro right from start asking if I need a man doll from the quarter bin at Goodwill
Kris's T-shirt extravaganza
"I was listening to NPR on my way to work . . . "
Betsy cuts me off as I mock the pledge drive commercial
Elliot feels bad for George Bush
The man won't be an Alex P. Keaton
Born with it
Happy childhood moments
White trash and macaroni, Betsy's genes kick in
(We recorded late last night and we start to slow)
Betys is officially the secretary of the home owner's association and now she volunteered me to build a website
My finger is still numb
Battle of the Network Reality Stars
What happened to VH1?
Kris buys Betsy for 1 year of podcasting with vasectomy offering
Betsy wants to podcast it
Pledge drive, support the show

Thanks to everyone who has already donated!

Tags: betsy kris croncast support drive

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 110

Wed, 17 Aug 2005 05:47:30 -0500

Croncast - 2005-08-17.mp3

Show: #151
Length: 33:57
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 15.6 mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 110

People say I swear too much
but this is my break from
role modeling appropriate behavior all day
cracker carpet
kris is my ebay assistant
people used to look at ebay pickups
as vacations to the country
super walmart vacation
our dirt cheap first house
but as we all know
kris cant fix
anything
the sucking vortex of home improvement
windows cost too much
kris coke withdrawal diarama
kris is an expert on coke bloody noses
not personally
but thats what you get from rural living
to do: mole mapping
mall kiosk
mole maps of the stars
IT geeks need a dating service
this weekend
GREAT AMERICAN GARAGE SALE
this weekend
i mingle with my people
church sale layouts
kris thinks i need to do gsale reconn

Tags: kris croncast people ebay weekend

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 99

Fri, 08 Jul 2005 06:14:29 -0500

Croncast - 2005-07-08.mp3

Show: #140
Length: 28:26
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 13.1mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 99

The fine line between matchmaker and stalker
Dancing with the Stars = Circus of the Stars
Elliot visits
The female burden of bridesmaidation

I just realized something that I think I should have before . . . to have a Best of the First 100 with Betsy we actually need to do the 100th show. Otherwise it is just the first 99.

So I will continue putting together the Best of the First 100 wtih Betsy and release it on Wednesday instead of Monday.

Tags: betsy first croncast stars best

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 91

Mon, 20 Jun 2005 05:57:54 -0500

Croncast - 2005-06-20.mp3

Show: #132
Length: 34:17
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 15.7 mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 91

Watch The Video!

We are back from the Wisconsin Dells and in this episode Kris calls a fight between marines, babysits a stripper's kids and watches the police arrest an out of hand mommy all while wearing his tacky father's day gift.

Kris reminisces about the days prior to the invention of Nair and bikini line shaving, I advise him both Nair and bikini line shaving have been around for years, but they didnt practice pubic hair removal in his neck of the woods- go figure. Kris also tries to draw comparisons between Tijuana and the Dells, though I point out that he has never been to Tijuana and never during my entire stay in the Dells was I offered Chiclets from a homeless scabby toddler.

Kris attempts to explain the origins of the phrase Git R Dun and I still don't get it or git it I guess.

Check out the screen shots of Kris and I on TV we are stars! Not really I don't think stars shop at Aldi's- except maybe Rachel Hunter before the smash hit Dancing with the Stars which is on my must watch this week. Rachel has probably upgraded to Albertsons store brands now that things are looking up.

Screen shots from the video.

Bird's eye view from Elliot's spot in the basement.

Guess who?

Who could this be?

Tags: kris dells croncast stars git

Croncast - Kristopher Smith - 11/22/2004

Mon, 22 Nov 2004 22:02:12 -0600

Croncast-2004-11-22.mp3

Length: 22:05
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64k
Size: 10.1 mb

Today's Show

Intro
The weekend
Tear downs
Porn and Churches
Elliot stops by
25 cent animals
Shopping Mall for Jesus
The big guys get it wrong
No sex with porn stars
Virgin Mobile - the power of your blog (even if you are the only one who reads it)

Tags: croncast porn big guys mall