statue | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

Statue of Liberty

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 10:36:44 -0500

A shot of the Statue of Liberty from the Staten Island Ferry. If you're ever in NY, Ellis Island is $ this ferry is free.

Tags: ferry statue island liberty free

staten island ferry neon

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 19:50:55 -0500

had a great time with the kids and betsy tonight on the staten island ferry. they stood on the front in the mist, cold and darkness to catch hazy views of the statue of liberty, staten and the manhattan.

Tags: staten ferry island hazy catch

Season 21 Ep 02: Africa for the Weekend, Oprah taping, Cardigans and Plaid

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 12:30:41 -0500

Croncast - 2009-01-14.mp3
Show: #502
Length: 35:56
Size: 33.0mb
Format: mp3

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This show brought to you by Podiobooks.com
Is that why you are wearing what you are wearing?
You got me this
Right, from the Greek Orthodox garage sale
From hefty to hot
Not hot in my heft?
These are some things we need to discuss
I checked out this cardigan
Then I brought it home to you
Then you put it on
That was four months ago
You haven't taken it off since
It's my man cardigan
I always wear my gear
My wardrobe is devolving
You are not hairy enough to pull off the look
I know that i don't have enough hair
This shirt comes in with built in boobies
A flannel bra in my case might work
Jammy bras
The people want to hear about Oprah
Sure they do
You never know who could pop by Oprah's studio
I could get a Kindle
We drive to Harpo Studios
Based on Grammy's address advice
It's gonna cost to park here
Too much snow this year
Everyone's gone back to the old country
It's 4:30 a.m.
Where's Harpo Studios?
Huh?
Turns out we were 10 blocks off
Just look for the 50-foot tall flashing Oprah statue
I thought it was on south Michigan
It's far away from where you are
They don't put up with anything
The Oprah rules
Handheld facial scanners
They make sure you can't get in again
Drama just getting there
The warm up chick shows up
She's lame
I could have killed it
So I got the opporutnity to speak
It was my shot to get my mom on the show
I love this
I made them go wild in warm up
They brought me a boom mic
Held by a girl named Boom Mic
4 minutes to show
This woman in the front row starts puking
Oprah went all diva after her first segment
Oprah, are you going to let your hormones be the excuse not to lose weight this year?
Damn!
That reminds of me of my trip last month
The one to Drew Peterson's cul de sac
Stuck in a snow drift
Feeling dirty
Why would you stalk a serial killer?
You are so stupid sometimes, Kris
What?
You would have went with me if you knew
No
Well, I wouldn't have gotten stuck

Tags: Kindle Oprah show Harpo Studios Drew Peterson flannel bra Handheld facial scanner

evil deer statue. i don't trust it.

Sun, 18 May 2008 15:29:18 -0400

is it me or does something just not look right about this deer?

maybe the ocular orbs are not to scale and that makes it look cartoonishly evil.

Tags: evil deer scale cartoonishly orbs

Real Wooden Lawman

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 15:51:34 -0400

This awesome wooden, I guess you call it a statue, was keeping an eye on the collectibles aisle at the resale shop. Where else do you think we would spend a day with Betsy?

I got quite a few good shots of stuff from there and from my father-in-law's house.

To see the rest of the shots click on the wooden lawman above and look for the set called 'Easter Resale 20080323'.

Hoppy Easter!

Tags: wooden resale shots easter lawman

Betsy and her husband Kris Dec 07, 2007

Fri, 07 Dec 2007 09:48:30 -0500

Croncast - 2007-12-07.mp3
Show: #443
Length: 34:47
Size: 23.9mb
Format: mp3

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It's Tell a Friend Friday!
Get out there and tell somebody about the show
Leave those comments on the posts
I'm going to commission something for you for Christmas, Kris
A bronze statue?
No, a paint by numbers
There has to be a service online like that
My paint by number would be one number
Yeah, with a bucket of porcelain white paint
Your improv classes are coming to an end
Sure I got one more to go
All anxious about this job stuff
You are like a woman this way, Kris
Your puffy cuffedness blasting
My beard was all jacked up
I needed a trim
The website can't see the fact you shouldn't
No shaving it off
I do enough repulsive crap in my day
I set you up with a barber for a beard trim
It wasn't a regular barber, it was mans man barber
So anyway I went to improv
It was great, I gave up the scene
He said, you intimidate me
The stay at home intimidator
I thought should I go with Kris to the man spa
Is Kris going to end up getting a happy ending massage?
Funny you should say that, I did get a free massage
I roll in right on time
They ask me my name
He had the pencil line goatee
That weird etched on looking beard thing
Kind of like a Backstreet boys
Head back to the lounge
What do you mean?
The cigar lounge in the back
Leather couches, flat screen TV
This woman walks in
She a masseuse
Would you like a free massage?
Sure
I don't any cash, I know this isn't free
Yeah, you gotta tip
Don't you have to get out to your job at The Buckle?
Yes, I also have a degree from there
You gotta be on the inside to tell a certain type of joke
I am on this inside
She was kneeding you dough and commenting that you were buff?
That is why I was laughing so so hard
I'm slumped in front of a computer all day
My muscles are dough
It was the sales pitch
I didn't take my shirt off
This was an 'over the clotheser'
Is that on the board?
I'll take an, a . . . over the clotheser
I meet the barber
When I say that I don't have time for a shave
The barber tells me that he can't just trim my beard
Without the shave he won't do it
I felt like I was in a Larry David episode
I had to argue with this man for 10 minutes to get in the chair
"It's all about chair time"
I'm in a really big hurry
I will pay you for the chair time
No, no you won't
I tell him that I am leaving
He says, come on back, I'll do it
"But you don't understand that I don't just do dis. I do dis."
I told him that knew he was an artist but I just need a trim
It all went down horribly
I can't even show people how bad my goatee looks
Oh, it sucks
Yeah, you look really bad Mr B
It's like my bad perm but on your face
Betsy thanks Markx again for the stuff
Especially, Thrift Score Zines
Marie Down South, the thrifty stripper
Tell your friends about the show . . . it's Friday!!!

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Tags: Thrift Score beard trim masseuse Backstreet Boys Marie Down South

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 03, 2007

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 09:27:44 -0400

Croncast - 2007-08-03.mp3
Show: #393
Length: 32:41
Size: 22.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 03, 2007

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Kris is losing his voice
The most emotional day of Jeanie's life ensues
Jeanie wakes up hammered
Betsy woke up and rubbed her feet all over Jeanie
It is the curse of Betsy
Betsy hates feet, can't stand feet
Wants nothing to do with feet
However, she can't keep her feet off of you
She has to put them on you
And these aren't regular feet
They are a women's size 12
A man's size 11 1/2
And they are like meat hooks
Dry, jerky meat hooks
And they are rough and jagged with a sixth toe on each foot
Like the Chinese guy in the Guinness Book
It must be a female thing
Evan yells at me when I do it to him
Why do you gotta put your toes on me?
Get on your own side dude!
Sorry, Mrs. Smith greatest day ever isn't gonna cap out
While I'm dying of alcohol and nicotine poisoning
I wake up and the toilet is full of Kobe of bananas foster
I didn't puke on the floor . . . it is from when I got out of the shower to puke
Jeanie, "This is gross"
We have to get up, today is the second greatest day of my life
The day that I get to go and shoot stuff
I'll have the fruit plate
It comes back as fruit art
We tell the waiter, but it is obvious that Betsy is hungover
The waiter comes back with cappuccino for the ladies
Jeanie gets amped
Somebody give that woman a firearm
Betsy now feels the same way that I did when we were on the ATVs
Even Linda Hogan has to put chin to cleavage and push on
No pressure, step up to the plate
We walk in to Valhalla
Turns out that John is going to help us
There are like 10 bronze Remington statues
Gigantic NRA flags on the wall
Celebrity photos on the wall
John, ex-Navy Seal, comes over and talks to us
I have never listened so hard in my life
"Oh shit, we are really going to do this"
This will be in live combat simulation mode
The bullets will explode
"We do not point the gun at anyone. Including me," John
This is when Jeanie begins to panic
We have to sign a waiver with or social security number
If you had been in the presence of an ex-Navy seal
John comes over and lays down 9mm pistols in front of us
Jeanie looses her color, "I'm trapped in this steal room with pulverizing bullets"
More instructions on how to hold the gun
He helps Jeanie out arm over arm
We are not going to be Olympic competitors if rifle
Ready position
Jeanie pulled . . . and she melted
The Navy Seal saw it coming
He grabs her. Jeanie, "Bull shiiiit!"
All of the sudden there are stars in the sky
She is still standing right next me
I can't quit shaking
Do you need some water?
He grabs lapel, "We have a freaker"
He knew you were going to hit the road
Lodged, malfunction, strike the magazine
Bang, bang, b-bang
Shells are falling all around Betsy's Crocs
Betsy turns around with the gun and Jeanie hits the deck
That is just the beginning
Betsy, "It's OK to go Jeanie"
Trying to be encouraging while crying
Jeanie is the world's best friend
John2 at the front desk watches the uncontrollable shaky Jeanie
Do you want some oxygen?
Finally they send a car
Meanwhile back at Valhalla . . .
OK you shot'em in the head . . . but it doesn't mean they can't still kick your ass
You keep shooting till they don't move
The look on your face is the look in that picture!
John has made a very large impact on your life
I am going to take you to a live scenario room
If this were a long term course we would work on your startle reflex
Betsy is awesome with a pistol
They take Betsy into a biker bar with a terrorist
I know it went down but you've got to keep shooting them
So Betsy clears the room . . . "Clear and cold"
Fear of firearms
John, "We have one more room for you"
He walks Betsy into a biker bar scenario room
Your face baby, oh my god
So in the corner of the bar is a robber
All you can see is his head and arm because it was around a hostage
I turned and dropped him with one shot between the eyes
It was the best feeling that I ever had
So Kris this is what I am thinking . . . a well armed wife is a happy wife
"You cannot beat and armed woman"
They sold purses designed for your concealed weapon
I am putting it out there for birthday
Henry just erased everything off his board and wrote, "I win."
You might be the first person to be turned away at the Unitarian church
I was going to tell Elliot, "Mommy took down a terrorist today"
So now it is time to leave
Cold maze is a good maze
I think something that contributed to my discomfort was not breast feeding for 3 days
To the right of me is a breast pump going full speed
Betsy finished up . . . and says I got to get rid of this stuff
It's like the trucker's pee bombs
Yeah, except this is 90 proof
She looks out window and says, "Are you ready?"
Jeanie, "Why is it going to be beautiful? Is it going to turn into fairy dust"
Is this going to be amazing?
I gotta do this cool because there is a wind going
Betsy throws it out . . . and it comes right back at her
The inside of the Volvo is now covered with breast milk
We stop at the Continental Divide
You remember how I feel about high mountain roads
Betsy, keep talking to me, keep talking
Those nets are to catch landslides
You could have explained pump and dump
All of the sudden we see cable cars
"The highest point on highway 50"
It is gorgeous
I was not feeling well
Jeanie is shaking, exhausted and needs a pick me up
Betsy, what kind of fudge do you want
"What dude," Betsy says Colorado slow
I think that I am freaking out
Now we have to drive down the mountain
Fudge won't help anything
We made it down it ok
But we were following an RV
Can you use those for cars?
No you have to hit the mountain
The RV's brakes were on fire
It took us six hours to get home
That's it, installment 4 of Betsy and Jeanie's trip to Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla Shooting Club

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Tags: Remington Valhalla Shooting Club Linda Hogan Continental Divide shop Betsy Smith Jeanie Bowen