suit | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

for you and me

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 17:26:12 -0500

not the real thing but the real suit. could be the real flag for those of you that believe the conspiracy. no judgment here.

Tags: real judgement conspiracry flag suit

Season 20 Ep 20: Photos, Old Shuffling Posse, Professional Tic

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 12:25:15 -0500

Croncast - 2008-06-06.mp3
Show: #495
Length: 30:25
Size: 20.9 mb
Format: mp3

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Oh, the 2008
Comments on the photos
I'm a what?
You're a good amateur photo taker, Bears
I never made it to the sweetest Goodwill in the world
When was that?
San Francisco, it just wasn't meant to be
Look at you all up on the Oprah stuff
I got my eye on those celebrities
I knew today was going to be a great day
Because the Lutherans were having a sale
Garage Sales are euphemisms for "Party on the Driveway"
You were benevolent enough to babysit
It is either a ghost or an alien in front of me
You should be so lucky
Space Ghost!
You can convince me of anything
I got to the sale kind of late
The guy from the furniture tent comes out an yells
That we can hop into a new line that is shorter
I was torn
They can have stuff in multiple questions
I think you will reach a point, your peak of sales skills
We should freeze dry you at that point
Then revive you in the future when the dollar is strong
It will be like a time machine
Betsy, you bring it
The dollar is still strong with the Lutherans
Double check the luggage later
I stand in line to wait for the dishes
I need my fine china fix in their housewares sections
I brought bags and I have adrenaline flowing in my limbs
Oh, look, Christopher Stewart
This is when I started to look like a nut
Started?
Slow shuffling old posse arrived
Those match my dishes
I love those
Are you going to buy those?
I am now just to spite you
You wasted my time with your story
They're rookies baby
You are con-garagies
They send the 12 year old anemic boy to help me carry stuff
She's now a professional tic
She went and bought speakers from Farm and Fleet
I love it, speakers from Farm and Fleet
I am sure you are related to people that duck taped their heads That is the truth
Duck taping down his pants
Especially when fired up the chainsaw
The tape suit
Class issues really stand in your way Mr. B
"Transvestite's getaway car ran over good Samaritan's foot"
Words make the world magnificent

Tags: Space Ghost Farm and Fleet speakers Lutheran sale Naperville

I've got a new blog

Sun, 30 Mar 2008 09:20:40 -0500

I've got a new blog! But you have Croncast, Kris. What gives?

I realized a couple weeks ago that all of my nerd talk on the Croncast blog about RSS, API's, photo blogging, affiliate programs and the other tangents doesn't really suit Croncast all that well. Some of you are interested in that stuff but others of you could care less. So I am spreading out!

My first new blog is Talking RSS, http://talkingrss.lokwat.com. Where I can fill my quota of geek for the day by talking about RSS.

Tags: Talking RSS photo blogging geek quota lokwat.com

Season 19 Ep 3: Wheel of Fortune, Mailmen, Mrs. Coach

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 08:56:44 -0600

Croncast - 2008-01-11.mp3
Show: #449
Length: 28:23
Size: 19.5mb
Format: mp3

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Leave us a comment anytime
After reading the comments I am starting to feel sad
Kris, don't feel sad . . . you'll change your mind
Real reasons
We just do it, it's become part of our day
We've become part of that
It's like a radio station
And they are playing Rod Stewart
What? Kris you have lost your mind
Would you rather I say Nazareth "Hair of the Dog"?
What are you talking about?
You should pre-screen your thoughts
Like a celebrity does
Wive's would love these things
Coming back from the long break
Saying things as opposed to telling stories
It was your birthday it made for a weird show
I have to go to the bank
I noticed you didn't buy your own cake
Yes, I needed to step it up and buy one
The bank was a ruse
Turns out the cake was frozen
Much like you
I couldn't really cut it
I told the kids it was an ice cream cake
I forgot to buy candles
Yeah, you made me blow out a lighter
It wasn't just a Bic
This is why being married to you is difficult
You should just say what I think
Kris starts telling Elliot about the lighter
All I can think is shut up, idiot
He doesn't need to know that stuff
I thought about the house burning down
You gotta pull the thing back and click
Mr B. I am so worried about the Wheel of Fortune audition
What am I going to wear?
What am I going to do with my hair?
I think you are projecting a bit
I am going to start combing my eyebrows over my forehead
I hit 33 and my eyebrows are out of control
Big eyebrows are creepy
I didn't say mono-brow
You think the producers are looking for middle America
A mom with pizzaz
I'm not sure I buy that
Maybe you should watch the show
Men wear suits . . . the same on that they wear to funerals and weddings
All the women wear pins
That reminds me of the coach story when you were helping Andy shop
Leave it up to your mom
She'll just buy it off QVC for you
The UPS man, the mail man and the garbage man all have our numbers
QVC delivered twice a day around here
The mail man knows everything that goes on in your life
She's got QVC on the tv and the laptop
The guy from the Queer Eye show is on, she yells
We wake up every Wednesday morning to breaking glass
The garbage man hates us
The QVC bags all end up scattered around the cul de sac
When I was a kid we got the neighbors mail for a week
I knew that he wasn't paying his bills
Water is a luxury
He spent all of his money on Jaguars and software
Baby, you got unfinished projects everywhere
It's typically the man
Feigning the CWI to watch prison shows
It was a very serious sledding injury
I can wear chest pads
Keeping up with the IRS
Just one of those things
Monday you be blinded by my bespangled sweater and snow man pin
I need to seem charming and wholesome
Don't tell them about the podcast
I already did
Well then you need to be yourself
Jeanie said I won't be funny in a pant suit
I disagree you would look very funny in a pant suit

Tags: Nazareth QVC Rod Stuart Wheel of Fortune Mrs. Coach

suited and on the way

Tue, 27 Nov 2007 11:41:04 -0600

Took this while on my way to an interview.

I got some serious jowling in this photo.

Never again will I pill my neck back to get my head in a shot and the camera out of it.

Tags: back head shot camera neck

Suiting up - via twitter

Mon, 26 Nov 2007 19:29:24 -0600

I'll be wearing a suit tomorrow to an interview for the first time in nearly a year. Good thing they still fit!

Tags: suit and tie

Kosso Rocks. Here's why . . .

Tue, 21 Aug 2007 13:26:05 -0500

Not just because he can pull off a black suit with white Puma's but because he is showing Croncast some love at Podcast.com.

During Gnomedex, Kosso added Croncast to the recommended list of podcasts on the home page at Podcast.com. Thus, making him the coolest British guy that I know. Prior to the addition he already held the title but this solidified his status in my British Friend Hall of Fame Museum (BFHFM).

If you know of a couple thousand square feet, or maybe a couple square feet, that would be available for me to start the physical version let me know.

Tags: Kosso Podcast.com black suit white shoes BFHFM british friend hall of fame museum white Puma

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 15, 2007

Wed, 15 Aug 2007 11:33:00 -0500

Croncast - 2007-08-15.mp3
Show: #397
Length: 29:34
Size: 20.3mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 15, 2007

photo on left by dave winer and photo on right by josh hallet thanks to both!

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The nerd things that drive me crazy
Betsy is going to find me a online geek mistress
That would be sweet
You go ahead and marry that girl Mr. B
After days of this haven't you had enough?
Apologies for no show on Monday
I blew it on Sunday and had to take the red eye
No one wants to hear your drama
If it were done on graph paper it would have all been good
I didn't hear any of this "life would be better on paper" at Gnomedex
Here's what made it so cool
I had my nerds on one hand and my baby on the other
It was our 11th wedding anniversary
Yeah, and you take me to a nerd convention
Your nerd buddies are cooler and much more high functioning than I thought
Apologies to me for the ewok comment
A dude was dressed as a pirate
It was just one guy
The 12 sided dice and hoods were missing
The 11th wedding anniversary is as special as turning 36
Up to 10 you are swimming upstream . . . after that . . . floating in a tube
Seattle is a great place
You didn't plan our dinner Mr. B
Yes I did . . . reservations are a plan!
That is a large step
The restaurant turned out to be really nice
There was an attentive gay waiter
Can you hire one of those for me here at home
The beautiful view
Then a 3 story tall lighted Cadillac Escalade barge floated by
Nice view
The other awesome part was that you got to meet some listeners
Mark is an awesome guy
I know I told you that
Yeah, but you are usually wrong
At the party I saw the nerds trying to sink into their ringer tees
You have blossomed like a $10 orchid
Having social skills, Mr. B you have grown
Betsy got to see me in my element
I still don't get your people
Let's take Kosso for instance?
You can't pick Kosso he is normal
What about the guy dressed as a pirate Mr B?
The dudes that split a suit
The pic on right above is from the Thursday night out
Strange woman talking to us, looks at floor and walks away
The nerd wife put one shiny shoe right in front of him
My Nerd!
This nerd off limits
She busts out, "Well, I dress him!"
Not in a ha ha way
I don't understand your "Party Only" badge
She scared me
Those chicks look alright . . . "The Women of WarCraft"
God Damn
I'm not in to that type of stuff
These chicks were hot on a nerd level scale
We're going to score some mad nerd ass tonight
My people were talking to you because you were a personable lady
You've got nerd engagement skills
You've got to pretend your eyes are lasers
Yep, right here buddy
Asking a nerd what they do is not the right thing to ask
It is always difficult to explain
You asked me what the hell do you do?
Then tell them my title . . . right, what does that mean
The guy on the way home asked me, what do you do?
What was your reply Betsy?
I do nothing. I buy and sell shit.
So your husband is a nerd? Are you a nerd?
No
Do you podcast?
Yes
How many times a week?
3
You're not a nerd?
Do you sell your stuff online?
Yes
You're not a nerd?
Do you watch Heroes?
Yes
Watch John From Cincinnati?
Yes
You're not a nerd?
When buying swag for nerd events don't buy them white shirts
The other great part for me was first alcoholic beverage in 10 years
I had to announce it because you called me the teetotaling nerd husband
Not he hardcore found Jesus type of not drinking
That's not it Betsy
My first drink was Jagermeister with Aaron Brazell
I broke the seal and enjoyed the libations
Had an awesome time on Saturday night with Mark, Greg, Aaron, Kosso, Steve, Josh, Dave C., Mike, Chris, Michael and Dave D.
Not having to be on, Betsy's specialty
Betsy does her first improv class
Pretend you are a tree
Were you there?
My theater background is you know . . .
Yeah, lying under a theater major once doesn't count
My neighbor is in this class
Leave us some comments
Great American Yard Sale is this weekend
Thanks to Bernadette for this review and write up!

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Tags: Gnomedex 2007 Seattle Great American Yard Sale improv class The Women of WarCraft Jagermeister

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 06, 2007

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 08:24:48 -0500

Croncast - 2007-08-06.mp3
Show: #394
Length: 36:42
Size: 25.2mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 06, 2007

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Early intro to explain this show has lots of the electric popping noise in it. I thought I had this figured out for the show recording but I didn't. However, I did find a solution after today's show was recorded . . . clear shows from here on out.

My windscreen smells like a pack of condoms
What you got in your suitcase?
Yeah it has packed since I left for Colorado
OK Kris, mine smells like a today's sponge left out for four days
It's been 3 weeks since we have done a show with just us
The untold story, I almost didn't go to Colorado, Kris
Is this like Slowsky?
We fly in the face of karma
I preemptively heed the warnings
Four days out from leaving for Boulder it begins
Like the Volvo won't come out of park again
OK Blackwater Betsy
They drag the old decrepit bitch in
Volvo of Lisle has repaired it for the 4th time
They give me a Hyundai
We know what the problem is mam . . . you dripped some soda in there
No, look at the record . . . this is the 4th time
If I can't drink soda in my car remove the cup holders
The problem is that everything in the gear shifting area has been replaced
Splenda is not sugar, it is a secret ingredient in concrete
Now I owe the dealership $300
That is one less cool experience at Elk Mountain Resort
How am I going to help you out? I will be in San Francisco
That would be cash at hand
Your guilt and negativity goes both ways
I get to the DMV with Gigi on my hip to get new plates
Line to another line to another line
Boss Hog will drag you out by your ear
Don't get out of hand Ms. Mommy pant
Can we get a supervisor over here?
I know that is the auditor
Mam, your plates are illegal!
Oh, now I am going to be arrested at the DMV
I end up in a line with bikers
A line full of the scariest men
They all keep trying to talk to Goo
I've never seen a baby give that look
She's not going to ride bitch to anybody
She'll be leading your gang in 10 years
I know exactly what the problem is
There is only one man in Springfield who can take care of this
The bikers, Skanky and Skanky
It turns out that Skanky wants to sell his car to Skanky
Maggie hears the guy yell and she freaks out
Now I am freaking out
All your fault Mr. B
Your likability was going down by the day
The plates from Slowsky moved over to Volvo
I don't own the Volvo, you do Kris!!!!
What if I want to hit the road in peace?
Thanks Oprah
I was in there for 53 minutes
I got sucked in to other peoples drama as I waited
Betsy gets attacked by a tick
Now she needs to tell the neighborhood
The neighbor tells her that she just got back from New Jersey
She was there to help out a family member that got sick from a tick bite
The ticks in New Jersey know your name before they attack
This is all happening the night before you leave
Thank god the Elk Mountain staff is released early every morning to remove all ticks and flea dip the deer
I will never have a vacation as good as this because I am married to you
Oh, you are too kind baby
I was holed up 30 miles from Boulder in a hotel by the highway
They call themselves suburbs, but they don't know
Working late at night doing the nerd thing
I get to the hotel late
You're supposed to have a non-smoking . . . don't have it
You're supposed to have king . . . don't have it
The room smelled musty and like nothing I had smelled before
All this while I have to rationalize hopping into a bed that a lot lizard just has sex with a trucker in
The next morning I wake up and head down to the front desk
I bitch and moan then realize that this girl is 11 years old
I ask to be moved to another room
She reaches into her pocket and pulls cell phone
A roadside motel run by pre-teens
"I can't move you but my mom can. I can call her to come down here."
I rolled on out
I came back the next night and asked to be moved again
We can move you . . . but not for three days
I then get the burrito craving
Qdoba happens to be open right next to the truck stop
You're gonna have to re-wrap that burrito
Why?
Beans were falling out of it
He looks at me, "Sir you need to understand . . . if you bit into this it will explode in your face."
This can't be fucking happening
I am going to eat it here and cut it in half
His eyes twinkle . . . are you sure that you don't want us to cut it . . . I have a really big knife
His concern for my burrito did not go unnoticed
Colorado out to get me . . . three months ago
Stop Mr. B you can't tell this story we've gone too long
We'll be in Seattle on Thursday!!!
If you can make a live show we'll be doing it
If more than 6 people want to come we need to get a place to do it
I have one fan . . .Mexico Mike, total troll
Selling mescaline by the highway
I'll be in on the 8th at 10 am
We'll be there for our 11th anniversary
Why spend alone we want you
Thanks to Bernadette for this review and write up!

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
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Tags: Qdoba burrito hotel by the highway Longmont CO exploding burrito Volvo of Lisle

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 01, 2007

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 10:42:30 -0500

Croncast - 2007-08-01.mp3
Show: #392
Length: 1:05:10
Size: 44.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 01, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

We've made it into the month of August
You've now crossed into Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla Shooting Club
Sure you don't want to bitch about Boulder some more?
I like Boulder, there are just some things I don't
We roll up and there is a guard tower
Was he standing there with a rifle?
No, Mr B
It is a gorgeous view
Flanked by beauty
The guard comes ambling up to the Volvo
Your names ladies?
We give them, remember this
"Do you ladies have any firearms with you?"
No firearms in this Volvo
This wagon is clear
He gives us directions
We roll on up
Elk Mountain Resort is beautiful
The valet pulls it four feet away and parks
The woman on hotels.com just kept complaining about it
She is nuts
Jeannie says the place is like Annie
Everyone stands to greet you as you walk in
Then there was Santa Claus
A dude with a white beard and red suit?
No, he had a uniform and a "I love my job smile"
He's got hot towels on a silver platter
He looks at me and says, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
He looks at Jeannie, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
Shit, the deal is sealed, we are the dykes
Welcome to first class
It took us 9 hours from Boulder
We'll make everything guided for you
What time would you ladies like dinner?
This Mrs. Smith would like to eat before 7:30
Mrs. Smith and I would like to eat in 45 minutes
Santa has an ear piece and a chest mic
He talks into it and poof the bell hop appears
We get to our room and the view is gorgeous
If you don't like it dial "0"
The bed looks like a cloud from heaven
I got Wal-Mart sheets
Jeanie, "We have robes!"
Hers and hers robes would have been nice
So we get dressed for dinner
It was intimidating, we felt like we didn't fit
Then I bust out the gift certificate
We wanted to play it cool
Sure, you want to fit in
They were nicer than your grandma who hasn't see you in three years
Every time you walk in the door the staff stands
Oh, are you ladies here for dinner?
I'll announce you, then he speaks into his lapel, "The Smiths are here for dinner."
You haven't told them yet?
No I was waiting for Jeannie
Who's the man, the big footed one with a bad perm
Are there any other guests at the resort?
Two other men not talking
There were 10 total guests at the resort
We order our dinner and they ask for drinks
My mom always orders the house wine, the cheap stuff
I'll have a Mountain Dew won't go over well
Jeannie hates red wine but follows Betsy's lead
Hi, I'm Chef Jeff, which house wine is best for you?
They start bringing out bread baskets and baked stuff
Chef Jeff is like, "Fuck dude! I worked on that all day and you can't say it."
I look at Jeannie, I can tell she doesn't like it
Been there and done that
Jeannie is woofing it down
I have to eat at least half of it
The two men eating alone are now joined by someone I recognize
The owner that I had seen on The Daily Show
Kris if you kick it up a notch we can do this every weekend
He comes over to the table
Asks what activities we are going to do
ATV's and shooting
We are the only resort in the entire world to have access for ATV's
Jeannie, "I love the outdoors but I can't go up high"
Our ATV's are automatic
They've thought of everything
Yes, everything
On the ride you will come to a place called Top of the World
So high that airplanes will fly below
Then he launches in to the special lights
These are based on the biologic make up of a lobster's eye
They are used to melt the snow to make an ice tunnel
Mr. Foreman continues to talk about the press they have gotten
A book on the NYT Best Sellers list is based at Elk Mountain Resort
He had me sold . . . I wanted to kiss a bear and drive to the top of the world
Why would you think that you couldn't do something?
Tom Foreman makes you believe that you can do anything
Enter the rest of the guests
Three sets of couples that look like my neighbors
Fit soccer moms?
Yes, Kris
I just drove 4 states over to get away from them
Now they are going to spoil my mountain view
Mr. Foreman goes over to the new couples
The super sweet firebox
Then our food comes
Every time there was another opportunity to be put in our place
We were still really awkward
Betsy has a bowl of puss and I get a bowl of noodles
It was couscous Jeannie
Jeannie starts to panic, all I get are these noodles
Campbell's has everything including broth
Then they bring the broth
After that they bring out dinner
The whole thing was terrific
Except that we were both completely terrified
To get over the petrification of being treated so well and Elk Mountain Resort stay more nights
Kris you are the king of upgrade
So after dinner Santa jumps up
We get our bill after dinner
Betsy goes white
Shut up Jeannie, I'll tell you later
The one thing you can't return is food
What I was freaking out about was that our house wine turned out to be $18 a glass
From their perspective, the lesbians aren't satisfied
Chef Jeff asks if dinner was to their liking
Then Thomas comes over and asks
After that the waitress comes up
Sure, they are trained like the CIA to read unhappiness
What would you ladies like to do?
We would like a jacuzzi?
Our eyes meet and we realize . . . they aren't out to get us . . . they are out to spoil us
Drinking our sangria in the hot tub
The cheap wine was awesome
Betsy took 100 pics of the tops of trees
At the Boulder art fair there was a dude with aspen photos
So we retire to the room and Jeannie puts on a robe
Sliding into the bed of heaven
Mrs. Smith, this is going to be the greatest night of my life
The greatest part of this is that I have no kids to wake me up
Betsy wakes up at 6:01 for coffee and viewing birds that were probably released for my pleasure
Do you know how much this is costing per minute? Get up Jeannie
We decide to take a hike
We start to walk by workers that gardening
When they see you they stop, stand, smile and ask you if you need anything
Landscapers saw us, they froze like deer
When we went by them they commenced working again
Tom has thought of everything
When a crossed eyed man in golf cart tells you "good luck" heed his warning
People are freezing along the trail "I'm a tree. I'm a tree. I'm a tree"
Maybe the trail was made for someone who came one time
Betsy, they did not release cows into the national forest for you to view
Queue the cattle
Someone left it on the comment card no doubt
Gotta watch out for the feral cows
Jeannie was petrified of them
Now you know why he told you good luck
That guy used to not be cross eyed till a cow incident
We can hear them shrieking and yelling
There they are . . . the soccer moms on the zip line
Whew, my Nike sports bra is twisted
We are on our way back
Jeannie freezes as we stand on Have you told anyone that you are not Mrs. Smith?
I see two brown ears rising out of this draining ditch
Out jumps a giant mule deer
Betsy chases it to take it's photo
The lesbians are crazy!
What are the lesbians doing now?
Time for lunch on the patio
We need some cigarettes and an ashtray
"Can I have an ashtray?"
She speaks into her cleavage mic
Around the corner, "I'm on it"
I know it is fun to play spies but this is weird
It was awesome though, instant ashtray
Lesbians are on porch, queue deer
Queue the geese
Then the soccer moms come bouncing back fit and tan
"Where are you guys from?"
Bloomington. "We are going to drive through there."
Their husbands, reserved and uptight
Screw it, this is all about me
I am going to make the soccer moms laugh
She swore that she was thirsty and all the sudden water showed up
"Guess how many kids we have?"
I don't know this is a game?
We have 10 combined?
How many are girls?
One
Then they struck a bad ass soccer mom pose
They brought things like running shoes
Betsy brought Crocs and sandals
Perfect lesbian gear
The soccer moms told us that the ATV's were awesome
We get ready to go and Misha shows up
I have done this ride 500 times and not lost 1 person yet
She takes out these top gun flight suits
I brought you the biggest ones we have
Betsy, "Of course mine won't zip up"
Jeannie, "neither will mine"
Jeannie you rock!
This could be customer service boot camp
Their motto must be "we are not going to tell you no"
They actually import vans from Europe to fit through their gates
Probably because it is more aesthetically pleasing
This is my new motto, "It is all about me"
Betsy gives me the thumbs up and then hits a tree
So we're going up the mountain
Jeannie is flying behind Misha
Betsy is stuck
I look down and my left hand has the brake so tight that I won't move
When you got on the quad the Unitarian in you took over
It was trying to save you
Oh, I'm sorry when was the last time you drove an ATV up a mountain
Betsy is trying to avoid the sticks
"Mam, that is an all terrain vehicle. Run over the sticks."
Hitting trees really hurts
Right before we get to The Top of the World
I look up and it is all Aspens and cattle
Jeannie starts to freak
Get me past that cow so fast
I am getting away from that cow so fast
Kris, we got to the top of mountain
You can see Utah, three mountain ranges at 9000 ft
We both had brown mustaches
It added to the lesbianism
Every time Betsy talks to the staff it is about her husbands and kids
Talk into your chest, the lesbians are not lesbians
These people are awesome
Misha ran a camp for bad ass kids
Like outward bound? Way scarier
Working at Elk Mountain Resort is top of the food chain
You have got to put in your time
John of course is an ex-Navy Seal
He is bad ass
You feel amazingly comfortable and slightly scared
I love men like that. Don't you Jeannie
Sure, he was handsome too
OK, time for this podcast to end
We ended on the ATV's and it was time to drink
Don't hand the truck driver the bottle
Four or five inches of vodka
Kris, we almost drank an entire bottle of vodka
Jeannie is naked in a robe and slippers
We are ripped
You are so awesome . . . No, you are so awesome
I look at clock and it is 9:00 p.m. and we haven't eaten
We dial "0" and they tell us that the dining room is still open for us
We arrive and there are flames to the ceiling
Chef Jeff is making bananas foster
The soccer moms start to speak to us
Betsy with her vodka mouth
"Are we going to be on your webcast?", soccer moms
Jeannie loves it when I get out of control
"We should introduce ourselves"
No that is OK, I already have a name for you, "The bad ass soccer moms"
It could go either way
Then the leader dies laughing
Right, there has to be an Alpha mom in the group
Yes, the one with the longest Escalade, the EXT
So Chef Jeff comes over
Betsy, "A-1 Jeff we're trashed. Can I call you Chef Jeff from now on"
That's not chatting it up that is drunk babble
Chef Jeff really made it
We don't go to gourmet restaurants and have the chef talk to us for 40 minutes
It was entirely phenomenal
Kris, I know we have talked about how I challenged the Russian to a vodka drinking contest
Can I take it back when you order the most expensive item on the menu?
And I was on the urge of vomiting
Kobe beef times 2 with bananas foster
Betsy looks at me like you better eat that bitch
Chef Jeff is buying us drinks
And I have to deny him because now I can't see him
I don't know where I am at
We stumble back to our room
There is that point, where you realize that I am done my man
Jeannie deals with Betsy, I am sick
I will lay in the bed of heaven
Betsy has the her cigarettes and the camera around her neck
You ticked me off
You don't like me anymore?
I'll like you tomorrow
You just ripped my underwear and are out of control
I proceed to go to the most beautiful bathroom in the states
And I don't even have to use my muscles
I have an exorcism of the most expensive meal I have ever ate
More babbling from Betsy
Typical Betsy move, "I made myself throw up"
This is the best planned bathroom of all time
6 feet from toilet to wall on a slate floor
Betsy made a bed right there with a Turkish robe
And I fell asleep on that cold stone slate floor and it felt so good
As I was falling asleep I thought to myself . . .
I love John, Misha, Chef Jeff and I love Tom the most
Why? Because he was smart enough to put a twin bed in the water closet
I don't know what we were thinking by drinking so much
I have nicotine and alcohol poisoning . . . I need to dial "0"
We have to do another show for Valhalla
It was the most emotional day of Jeannie's life
Sorry about your underwear dude
I'll get you a Target gift certificate
These were Victoria Secret
Do you know how much stuff I will have to find and sell from Goodwill?
Final installment of Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla comes your way tomorrow!

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Tags: kobe beef bananas foster Elk Mountain Resort Valhalla Shooting Club Chef Jeff bad ass soccer moms