summer | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

In Chinatown, Drag Queen Overlords, Wanted

Fri, 18 Mar 2011 09:43:41 -0500

Episode: #717 | Length:30:33 | Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Gluttonous vs. Gluttenous
Shrimp tray for no guests
Nothingness to paying bills
Woo! Baller
Stories from our last summer
The hawribble year
Buffered by the river
We'll probably move the first chance we get
Boulder Craig's List
Not that I have that much to work with

Tags: croncast best of 2010 funniest podcast longest episode

Hetero Men, Lost Siblings, Verminerator

Fri, 27 Aug 2010 17:37:25 -0500

Episode: #670 | Length: 25:58 | Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Hard like diamonds inside
Steve Jobs is a Kevin Bacon away from David Koresh
Long lost siblings
Can't rock the man purse
His was a step up
Hetero men are pushing the limits
The dead vermin are piling up at summers end
The Jamaican cashier
If it ain't biting you, what do you care?
The fruit guy fights off zombies everyday
They cough, he's fighting for us

Tags: steve jobs diamonds david koresh man purse dead vermin

Season 26 Episode 20: The Croncast Shorty

Fri, 27 Aug 2010 17:29:28 -0500

Episode: #670 The Croncast Shorty
Length: 3:48
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

Tags: steve jobs diamonds david koresh man purse dead vermin

Train Comedian, Air Bouncer, Hand Hygiene

Wed, 28 Apr 2010 15:13:16 -0500

Episode: #620
Length: 30:48
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Illed again
I need better hand hygiene
Enjoy the episode!
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: the a train nyc subway air bouncer hand hygiene summer camp

Dylan's candy bar summer 2009

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 12:07:52 -0500

Tags: summer bar candy dylan

McMansion across the street

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 17:23:01 -0500

This McMansion is one of large cluster across the street from our house. It is small compared to the others further back.

It isn't a gated community but they put up no trespassing signs everywhere during the summer. I encourage Zues to poop on this part of our journey.

Tags: mcmansion street across during everywhere

Mad Crazy Static

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 11:50:28 -0500

Took the kids to breakfast and then the riverwalk this morning.

Maggie wanted to see the ducks and Elliot wanted the park. Got them to agree that both were good.

I do have to say that it is quite a disappointment that the busiest portion of the riverwalk with be under construction for the entire summer.

I'm not really sure what the city parks people were thinking with this. It is going to hurt the businesses that are in that area as well as the amount of people that come to festivals that are held in that exact spot.

And since I have my gripe on, it also appears that for the remainder of the riverwalk they have removed about a third of the trees and nearly all of the other foliage that lines the banks of the river. Elliot pointed out that this year it looks "gross" and "dirty". Just blows my mind that a city would muck up their prime summer attraction.

Tags: naperville riverwalk summer rennovations 2008

Montenegro wants to help .me

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:44:40 -0500

This news has been out for a few months and I missed it but what an awesome bit of news it is . . . for nerds.

What is so awesome? The .me Top Level Domain (TLD) will go on sale this year. For english speaking countries this is great because of the pluthora of phrases that we use that end in me and the ability with a consonant followed by a vowel for work making. As for phrases and words I'll leave that up to you.

The .me domain extension should go on sale in early spring or summer.Hopefully, after the corps and resellers finish buying up names there will be so.me left for us.

Tags: .ME TLD Go Daddy Montenegro domains ICAAN

Frank Keppler keeps it fresh

Thu, 03 Jan 2008 14:41:48 -0600

Odds are high that you have seen Frank's work if you have gone into an Urban Outfitters, Nordstrom, Target or watched a movie or television show where a character was wearing a beer t-shirt, especially a Miller brand.

Frank Keppler is a graphic designer and co-owner of Brew City Brand Apparel, the company that produced the shirt you saw. Or better yet, that I see once a month or so in a store or on TV because I know what I'm looking for. Frank's designs are commercial but his style is unique and pretty easy to spot. He finds a way to even make vintage look fresh and contemporary.

I haven't spoken with Frank in years but I love his work.

In the mid and late 90's I worked for the Keppler's in Milwaukee managing their retail stores and seasonal set-ups like Summer Fest., a few years before they were selling large wholesale volume to anyone except Miller beer distributors. As there business has grown I often look at Frank's work as an inspiration. Why? I'll damned if it isn't one of the hardest design jobs ever to have beer and Milwaukee as your only motivation for twenty years.

Tags: Miller High Life Frank Keppler Brew City Apparel Milwaukee George Keppler

Burning down the house

Mon, 26 Nov 2007 21:32:14 -0600

Betsy found this gem from last summer on the laptop tonight.

Some of you might remember when my mother-in-law set the grill ablaze last summer and my first instinct was to put it out with a sea salt grinder.

Advice: keep that fire extinguisher close or get a really big sea salt grinder.

Tags: salt sea grinder summer big

Kris Smith - New Media, RSS and Podcast Expert

Mon, 01 Oct 2007 16:43:14 -0500

Kristopher Smith
http://linkedin.com/in/ksmith
Naperville, IL 60565 (630) 445-1719 ● kris[at]palegroove.com

Career Objective

A leadership position with a company interested in benefiting from the opportunities presented by leading edge new media technologies where a commitment to innovative ideas and entrepreneurial spirit is recognized and rewarded.

Qualifications Summary:

Accomplished entrepreneur and strategist with a demonstrated history of success integrating new media technologies into existing platforms and campaigns for Fortune 500 companies.
Combined expertise in RSS and podcast development with an extended network of relationships with independent, corporate and mainstream media.
Developed and licensed Castlock, a robust new media management and RSS metrics platform that enables users to manage large libraries of content and maintain statistics privately.

Professional Experience

Room 214, Boulder, Colorado ● 1/2007-11/2007

Vice President, New Media

Leadership force for product development within an organization that integrates new media, public relations efforts, web marketing methodologies and technologies under cohesive systems that drive measurable calls to action via the Internet. Company services were solicited from some of the most recognized PR firms and creative agencies to positively impact corporate sales, brand awareness and communications.

Major Contributions:

Developed moderated media RSS feeds (mmRSS) for episodic and archived content delivery via RSS
Orchestrated product development and integration of emerging technologies such as Twitter and other social media APIs into Castlock, a robust new media management and RSS metrics platform
Created and delivered new products from the Castlock code base, RSSignite and Episodr
Spearheaded integration of new media including podcasting and RSS into new client product offerings and marketing campaigns
Invigorated existing client marketing campaigns with new media elements
Directed digital media production from concept to final deliverable
Initiated research and development for RSS strategies and effective RSS search engine optimization
Served as company spokesperson at industry and new media events around the country

Career Note: As a representative of Room 214 and respected authority in the new media field I delivered the following presentations:

Podcast & New Media Expo (Sept. 2007) Ontario, CA.Compression Killed the Video Star
PodCamp NYC (Apr. 2007) New York, New York. Panel Podcast Open Metrics Initiative.
eLearning 2007 (Mar. 2007) Chicago, IL. Using RSS Feeds, Podcasts to Deliver Distance Education
Podcast Academy 5 (Feb. 2007) Duke University. Understanding Authenticated & Personalized RSS Feeds

Joint Commission Resources/Joint Commission, Oakbrook Terrace, Illinois ● 5/2005-12/2006

Associate Director, eLearning

Promoted to direct eLearning digital product development for Joint Commission Resources. Led innovations in delivery of information required to comply with the accreditation standards of the Joint Commission on Accredited Healthcare Organizations (JCAHO). JCAHO accreditation and certification is the standard of excellence in health care organizations.

Major Contributions:

Identified opportunities for new revenue streams utilizing innovative content delivery systems
Evangelized blogging and podcast initiatives to integrate new media technologies within the enterprise
Directed a division to develop digital products and manage legacy products focusing on increasing sales
Engineered courseware implementation, software, coding and course development for field cadre and central office employees
Disseminated educational training information to 400 global field staff via a custom RSS application

Palegroove Studios, Naperville, Illinois ● 2/2005-Present

Founder/CEO

Pioneered the start-up and development of the world's first podcast production company. Advised Fortune 500 clients on utilizing this medium to extend their brands. Developed podcasts from conception to deliverables which includes consulting with client on: show content, format, script writing, transcripts and creation of royalty free musical intros,outros and sweepers. Developed and licensed Castlock, a robust new media management and RSS metrics platform. Produced over 700 podcasts since 2005.

Podcasts Produced:

MasterCard, The Home Depot, Abbot Laboratories (2007)
Nascar Alltel Racing Podcast (2006 & 2007) produced podcasts in conjunction with XM Satellite Radio
NFL Alltel My Circle Podcast (2006 season) produced with nationally recognized radio talent from official team media outlets
Nascar Coors Light Racing Podcast for Coors Light (2006)
Fab 5 Summer '05 Podcasts produced for MTV Networks Affiliate Marketing (2005)
Developed and independently produced Croncast (2004-Present) delivered 3 times a week since November of 2004 and recognized by a number of media outlets including: The New York Times, Detroit Free Press, FOX News, and NBC (Chicago)

Career Note: As a successful entrepreneur and recognized expert in the podcast industry I delivered the following presentations:

PodCamp West (Nov. 2006) San Francisco, CA. Keynote panel The Future of New Media
Portable Media Expo (Sep. 2006) Ontario, CA. Leveraging Your Knowledge as a Podcasting Consultant
Podcast Academy 4 (Sep. 2006) Ontario, CA. Web Design for Corporate Podcasting

Waubonsee Community College, Sugar Grove, Illinois ● 5/2000-5/2005

Distance Learning Technical Support Specialist

Trained and supported university and college faculty throughout Illinois on the integration of technology into the classroom as part of ILLCO, a state funded initiative
Designed and developed all graphics, wrote code, recorded, edited and encoded all audio for a Flash virtual tour of the college campus for use online, CD-ROM and hybrid DVD
Recognized as innovator within organization promoted four times in five years

Languages

PHP, MySQL, RSS, XML, HTML

Audio/Video

Sound Forge, Acid Pro, WaveLab, Vegas, Waves, Fruity Loops

Blogware/Podcasting

Castlock and WordPress

Design/Interactive

Flash, Dreamweaver, Fireworks, Photoshop, InDesign and Illustrator

Courseware

WebCT, aTutor, Scenario Studio, and HorizonLive

Education

BFA Visual Communication with an emphasis in Digital Design 2005

American InterContinental University, Hoffman Estates, Illinois

Associates of Arts Degree December 2000

Waubonsee Community College, Sugar Grove, Illinois

August 1993 December 1994

Bradley University, Peoria, Illinois

Tags: RSS guru Podcasting professional PHP Castlock New Media expert RSS expert

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 27, 2007

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 09:59:37 -0500

Croncast - 2007-07-27.mp3
Show: #390
Length: 32:29
Size: 22.3mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 27, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

It's been a while since we've done a show
The worst part is I can't tell anyone the story
It will ruin the show
We have to tell everyone we'll tell you later
I did see some of the photos baby
Jeanie and I laughed
Don't start there Bears
This is not the typical Croncast, Kris and Betsy story
Sure I have been supplanted by Jeanie
Mr B would have done this anyway
Do you want to tell your story?
Can I give you some hints to telling a story
We are going to start our story from the very beginning
Jeanie rolls up to my house
We have to go to my sister's kids party
My mom and my dad in the same building, stress
The last time was like 10 years since they were in same room
I had nightmares about how bad this trip was going to be
Epiphany was to dope them out with DVD's
Misgivings? Why? Last year was not enough?
So I strap in the DVD player and monitors
We surprise the kids with it
Strap in the kids and pull away
The power adapter pops in, out, in, out
Elliot,"It's on, It's off. It's on. It's off."
With a former truck driver by your side I shouldn't have been worried
Jeanie took a class in map reading
"Betsy, where is the map?"
"I don't have one."
Simply a print out from mapquest
With the kids I figured it out
Take the group home approach, catch them being good
What does Maggie get?
Green dry erase markers
45 minutes later Jeanie says you've got look at Maggie
The scariest site ever
Maggie colored herself green and put chocolate in her hair
She was laughing maniacally
"I funny. I funny."
So we pull over at a truck stop
I walk in with Gigi
Everyone stops, turns and stares at us
She had lifted her dress and colored all the way to her diaper
That woman is totally talking to Betsy
Dry erase markers come off very easy
Where are you at this point?
Western Illinois
Jeanie wanted to hit the world's largest truck stop
Betsy, "Didn't you listen to last year's vacation show?"
Another thing that we learned last year was to get a hotel room
Jeanie was rolling up in the driveway when you booked it
You didn't remember it
Kris, shut up, this is my show
No map Betsy doesn't know where she is
Elliot and Maggie hit the hotel and want to sleep with mama
Elliot has had it and is ready to sleep in the car
Little Kris was in the backseat complaining
Now he reads numbers he made sure to point out we were speeding
I don't recommend the Super 8 in Lincoln, Nebraska
Isn't there something in Lincoln like a university
Jeanie brings the good trip karma with her
The scary omens of the open road
I had apologized to Jeanie
You have got to heed the signs
Every mile marker was a Slowsky moment
I was amazed that we rolled into Denver/Boulder area
The kids have started to melt down
Hey, you've won another Pokeman card
Jeanie, can I have another car
Honey, Mommy is going 90 mph you need to sit still
They waited until we were in traffic to act up
Every parent knows that you kids don't need anything from you until you are merging onto the interstate
We were behind a Prius
It had a blue hair in it, double whammy
Did the exhaust smell like broccoli or cooked carrots?
When you ride with Betsy you are junk coordinator
Fast food dumped in your lap and Betsy sipping on her diet coke
Give me that grilled chicken bitch
I know you, Booba
Speeder! I won't get in to it
Kris has speeding story to tell
My great Denver court room story
We have been here for 12 minutes into the immaculate clean house where we are staying kids flip out
So we leave the house
Where did you go?
Pearl Street
Do you want to stand on a clogged street in 88 degree heat with hippies
Elliot's hippie story, guy's sign said, "need money for a shirt," but I watched him take off his shirt and stick it under a rock
Sounds like Pearl Street to me
Henry is putting up a mark on the chalkboard right now
I know who your favorite hippie is
Jeanie called Evan to tell him that they were going to see the hippies
"My ship has sunk. I need cash"
I told you it was the pirate
Very herbal
They're all playing guitars and wait for you
No judgment, eh Kris?
Pete the pirate
You could start a fish stick line with his name for $6
I have to stand there and tell my son that this stuff is normal
We saw Goth grandma
She doesn't care anymore
You get passed 70 and start tripping on your titties
The point of this story that children work on 15 minute cycles
Jeanie sees the
Here's the reason the hippies bother me
They are balanced out by smug trust fund babies
Betsy, "I only pan handled once. That is a story for another day."
The next day when you came home from San Francisco I made sure we got home right away
Elliot saves family in the mountains
Give him a hard time, you can't mess with the man
We stopped someplace in between
The place where you buy gas in a bucket
We roll into Rocky Mountain National Park
The kids are watching Scoobie Doo at full blast
We are excited about a fox with dead animals in its mouth
Elliot, "Shush, there is a boy named Elliot in this episode"
Momma, I just saw a squid
Momma, I just saw an alligator
Not even close to being in a forest
It's not funny when you are their mother
He got it from a book you bought him
A book about future animals 10,000 years from now with illustrations
I forgot my cell phone
That is what I do Mr. B
So we start going up the mountain
Jeanie is gripping the OSHA car handle
The blood vessels are popping out from between her fingers
She has gone pale
Maggie, "no up. No up. No up."
Betsy talks Jeanie down
Look I'm driving with no hands
Maggie's sense is I'm strapped in
Shut up guys, Scoobie is on
Wrap the show . . . coming back down the mountain
Maybe a little Elk Mountain Resort, Valhalla on Monday, Wednesday

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Tags: portable DVD Pearl Street Jeanie Bowen summer vaction 2007 Elk Mountain Resort

Breakfast and walk with the kids

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 11:39:40 -0500

This morning, like most Saturday mornings, I took Elliot and Maggie out to breakfast and a walk on the Riverwalk here in Naperville (slide show).

Every year the city asks businesses and artists to produce art on the animal du jour for the summer. This year those chose two animals, dolphins and turtles, then threw in a bird bath for good measure. I would guess thatt he bird baths are something that is more practical for the city to sell at the end of the summer.

But this dolphin is pretty cool:

Tags: Naperville Riverwalk Riverwalk Dolphins Elliot Smith Maggie Smith breakfast walk

Seattle show early August, you coming?

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 08:48:51 -0500

As we get things rolling around here for the summer I wanted to get a rough head count for doing a Seattle show sometime between August 8-11th. If you can make it or plan on being in the area leave a comment below with how many of your posse might attend.

The venue and date will be determined by the amount of people interested. So for those of you who can't make it to the Naperville show but might be able to swing a Pacific Northwest trip let us know.

Tags: Croncast Live Seattle Betsy Smith Kris Smith

Betsy and her husband Kris Jun 13, 2007

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 07:41:24 -0500

Croncast - 2007-06-13.mp3
Show: #375
Length: 30:03
Size: 20.6mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jun 13, 2007

Tickets are on sale now for the live show . . . get your's or find out more

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

July 8th, live show, must get 10 peeps in seats by June 15th
The triscadecaphobes represent in full
Leave a comment like the post for the video of the show
Something that would force Betsy to wear a bra and brush her hair
Whatever Mr. B, I saw gnats swarming in your cubby
We should call your corner, "What's that smell"
Garbage to the left and plates to the right
And, and what?
I put on the Beast costume for you baby
Here's the auction
Betsy dressed up in a costume years ago and now it is my turn
I'm going to give the auction number
Betsy reads it all too fast
Then she gives them to us like were are idiots
That's teh thanks that I get for helping you with your costume
There's one watcher already
The gay trip wires were missing
The male flight attendant gives Kris a wink
I have to do something about my appearance
We have become morons
Intelligence is sucked up by your offspring as you fight for survival
Betsy's grammar has taken a dive or maybe we shouldn't record so late at night
Betsy's sister invited to one of those lady sex parties
A "Love" party
I don't want to hear about grandma's sex toys
There will be other people there, Betsy
Turns out there is no one else there
I keep my inventory at my parents house in the crawl space
Big black duffel bag
They search your bags no matter what
Then they steal your iPod
The Beast will get pulled aside
Yes, I need to shave off my goatee
Going the Billy Bob Thornton look is not good for you
I am embarrassed
"If you make yourself ugly"
Sex toys and Monte Carlos
Making a buck
No one sells out of their trunk anymore, there's this thing called the internet
Side effects of the Depo shot
I don't want to hear it
Just like the candle lady
What makes you think there's a future in vibrators?
So we leave
In the Jewel parking lot the Monte Carlo starting yelling at us
"Give it to me baby"
They were watching Wrestle Mania 4 on Tivo and decided to go get it on in the Jewel parking lot
No, Vicky, you can't take a picture
They were having some alone
They were saving their relationship
Getting your lady into the car for Monte Carlo love
Vacation number two for the summer is coming
Don't forget were doing a live show in Seattle, well we plan to
Post for that coming soon so that you can pseudo rsvp so we can get a head count

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Tags: Monte Carlo love male flight attendant brain drain Croncast Live Wrestle Mania

Betsy and her husband Kris May 21, 2007

Mon, 21 May 2007 07:09:50 -0500

Croncast - 2007-05-21.mp3
Show: #365
Length: 33:43
Size: 23.1mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris May 21, 2007

Tickets are on sale now for the live show . . . get your's or find out more
Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

New intro/outro music . . . something from 2005 that I never used
Think of it as looking into a pool of water
I'll ask the audience to do the intro with me at the live show
You are pure saccharine Mr B
I'm the guy that the ladies date and I tell them I'm gonna marry them
Was Elliot born when I was making pizzas at the gas station?
What was that timeline?
Then you started making pizzas
Wasn't even in a place where I could get a job at a gas station
You want me clap for you because you are making pizzas at a gas station?
Motivation for really moving on . . . being called a loser
"I just want a job working with computers"
And look at me now!
Yeah, your forehead has burn in
That was one crazy time in our lives
I like how you set me up tonight
Oh, yeah the cell phone message
The IRS is finally coming?
Nope it's an invite to hang with Kris's family
Oh, you are such a drama . . .
I didn't say it . . . you are putting words in my mouth
That makes you a bad person Betsy
That is really unfair
I was expecting you to just hang not even listen
But yet the social worker in you piqued it's interest and you had to listen
If you want to go, Kris, it is fine with me
Asked the man if he wanted to see where his dad grew up
I know how this plays out
"We can take pictures"
The corvette will rumble out of the garage
The part of Kris that wants to trust them will come out
The Sopranos and my life
You are talking about your mother
Oh, god . . . somebody fast forward
If you need help . . . go and get it!
Setting boundaries is a good thing
Yeah, I have "sucker" written all over me
And second, if you family wasn't the way that it was we wouldn't be together
The muted male point of view of what happened in his life
I was born, I had sex for the first time at 13, I graduated from high school
The start of the first time I touched something
I had the skateboard from Sears
It was a fat one, not that thin shit
So you were now riding that around in the gravel
Interesting happening on your Route 34 45 mile long garage sale
We lived at the Lake Holiday not Sandwhich
That is a long way for garage sales
I do have to think ahead
The don't have anything post-WWF
Everything is so cheap
Mark those free and put them at the end of the driveway
You are going to attend event
My cellphone is at the bottom of my purse under dirty diapers and crackers
OK daddy I'm not going off the path
ADHD under control through bugs
Our grill that caught fire is taken for salvage by brother-in-law's pops
Oh will I miss last summer's fiasco reminder to clean our grill
Kris will get rid of it
Taking pictures of ourselves . . . shit, we are fat
It was that point of looking at them and realizing that those people are us
We can't take pictures of ourselves at any angle
I look like a grizzly bear trying to hump a rabbit
My stomach doesn't stick out that far . . . no, it's real . . . it does
In that photo she's lifting up my shirt
There is no plus that can come of it

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Tags: Lake Holiday Route 34 garage sales Croncast Live post WWF corvette

Betsy and her husband Kris May 04, 2007

Fri, 04 May 2007 08:47:11 -0500

Croncast - 2007-05-04.mp3
Show: #358
Length: 31:50
Size: 21.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris May 04, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

Show notes soon . . . I just want to get the show out. For those of you who missed the blog post there were some technical difficulties with the recording.

Also I want to apologize to you guys for today's show and the one from Wednesday. I have had some stuff going on around here, business related, that was stressing every one around the house out. It is straightened out now, but was a big deal that took up most of my attention and now that we are getting it square my brain is thanking me by turning to jelly as the intensity of the situation is subsiding.Thanks again for listening!

Send your server support: $50 bucks gets you an autographed Goodwill mug. More amounts to come.

This money, btw, is going to server costs to keep the show up and running.

We are going to do a live show here in Naperville . . . hopefully in July. We'd like to get about 40 people to come out so we can have the joint for about 2 hours. That means you need to get your friends to come out too. Let us know if you can swing it.

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Tags: Elmo's World summer vacation roast and mashed potoatoes baby sitting little deaf dog

Yes, your flight leaves at 11:15 a.m.

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 13:45:21 -0500

Suuuure, it does.

Extra time at the Denver airport can mean only one thing or three . . . more time to think about John Elway Dodge, reminisce about our awesome summer vacation and kill some time with a nearly meaningless blog post.

I do have to say that Boulder looked beautiful this morning with some remaining snow on the Flat Irons and doe eating apple blossoms off a tree on Upland street.

Tags: Boulder Upland Street Denver airport flat irons snowy foothills

Betsy and her husband Kris Feb 16, 2007

Fri, 16 Feb 2007 09:14:00 -0600

Croncast - 2007-02-16.mp3

Show: #338
Length: 15:35
Size: 10.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris February 16, 2007

There comes a time for everything. This show is one of the shows from the night we recorded seven because of the weird vibe we had going. That and Betsy blew me away by crossing a new line.

What is marmalade?
It's fancy jelly, Kris
My entire body is made of fancy jelly
You're like lamb jelly
When you boil meat stuff floats to the top
I'm sure you can spread it on toast
I'm still plugging away at this business Mr. B
It is a number of things
You can ask me to do a lot of crazy things but I will never say you are right
You are no longer a purse company
Baby, please don't do this
Bears, listen to me
I have three new business ideas
I would like your feedback on a number of things
Do they sell purses?
Fancy diaper bags
The word of the show is "fancy"
I'm putting it in terms that you can understand
Selling all the kids stuff
This purse bitch in Florida is driving me crazy
She lives right next door to the exact same outlet mall
She is the only person doing it and undercutting me
Selling her shit for a penny
The bag full of kids clothes
Sweating it out during the middle of summer
He likes seconds on cereal, he'll be a XL by summer
eBay sellers not welcome at this sale
It's not illegal to show up
Just don't have to tell them
There's a small catch
This bag, the Madison and Friends bag is $250
But Gigi would be smoking . . . she needs some Diesel jeans
No McKids for our babies
Listen, our kids are so Goodwill'ed out that they aren't even at the McKids level yet
Your taste is his taste . . . and Gigi's taste? Nobody's taste
She is the only 2 year old that dresses like Phylliss Diller

8:00 mark . . . Betsy's hits her stride with the show killer. Aside, this was recorded maybe a week before This American Life released a show chronicling people doing exactly this. And Betsy got an "I told you so!"
The murder McMansion
A little Ajax we can flip that bitch
I know it's got an office . . . that's where they were all found
Oh, baby.

Tags: Phylliss Diller McKids eBay purses ebay sellers not welcome Madison and Friends bag

Betsy and her husband Kris Feb 05, 2007

Mon, 05 Feb 2007 07:28:52 -0600

Croncast - 2007-02-05.mp3

Show: #335
Length: 31:09
Size: 21.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris February 05, 2007

Read the iTunes comments for me
Who couldn't use an ego boost before ni-ni's
I learned this about Betsy
What is their format called?
But you know all the songs . . . when the hell do you listen?
Betsy knows all the words and Maggie groovin
The tunes were inappropriate for the kids
Add that to the Super Bowl commercials
That commercial brought out more awkward silence nation wide than anyone else
People will just have awkward silence with Snickers bars from now on
The Doritos commercial?
Oooooh spicy
I wish I could drown myself in the salsa verde
Another awkward pause between mothers and children
Elliot asks what happened? Bed time happened. That's what happened
The innuendo and violence
Go Daddy commercials
The naked chicks at the podcast party didn't work on you Kris
Joining forces to work in your underwear
I do have the camera up here
I been doing that Jetsons thing
You're not down here making cheese
Actually I am
We could sell the floor sweepings to Kraft
Wearing man Jammies on my trip this week
I'll be in Boulder for the rest of the week working
Betsy toying with idea of renting a house in Boulder for the summer
Rent, plus mortgage
I watch too much Oprah not steal money from you
Instead of spending it she's putting it away
Saving money is Betsy's new addiction
Who are you to speak?
Around tax time, when I think about the money that went through my fingers
Nickelodeon hell on earth hotel
Any listeners been there? Let us know what it is like.
I've seen pictures of Disney and they are creepy
Happy people who have been thoroughly checked to walk around in cute costumes
I got county fair instead
Is there a place with carnies all year 'round
I can press charges or you can work at Dollywood
An entire venue dedicated to roach clip collections
It is cold in Chicago
Hear that? Hear that? . . . all we say in Betsy's car now
Yes it is back . . . no doubt that they pulled it apart
The Slowsky tale of woe
Bad car karma
You have your own show
I have done it right this year with attorney help
Looking for a Volvo replacement
Take the puff out of your cuff Mr. Bears
I've gotten used to the heated seats

Tags: Slowsky tale of woe Bad car karma Doritos Super Bowl commercial Boulder trip iTunes comments

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 06, 2006

Mon, 06 Nov 2006 06:42:27 -0600

Croncast - 2006-11-06.mp3

Show: #296
Length: 36:49
Size: 25.3mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris November 06, 2006

Keep on leaving those comments
Betsy give Kris a nod for kicking up the family situation today
The dairysnake return
At Google . . . we're the only dairysnake! We own it, for now
With Bears gone Booba thinks about how she can just hang
However she just ends up painting some spots in the basement
Putting in a family room and a toddler playroom
Kris finds it funny because nearly 1 year ago he recommended all of this
Kris you gets no wall . . . but maybe now it is ok
Ikea office in a closet kit
Remodeling is priority numero uno
Operating so long at a high level of stress
Once one thing is removed and the level lowers we seem to fill it back up
Homeostasis of stress levels
Interrupted by phone and someone from 408 area code
Betsy's pile of eBay stuff right next to my seat (see photo above)
She tries to redirect the conversation
Weekend of code . . . let me in
"I shouldn't complain about your eBay stuff anymore because I enable you"
For years, get rid of the crap
Resale Queen complaints
Come on I need some drama
Are you saying that I should be a 3 a.m. scam
That would be like Kris talking about running shoes from 1996
This isn't keeping up this the scene it is dairysnake pack rat
"How did this happen"
Er, I know let Kris answer this
Lying about the Santa Claus guy
Movie trailers that might give it away
Is Christmas different for those of you who don't live where it snows?
Betsy stumps for the group home kids
She wins (doesn't really need to win I would have done it anyway) the iPod gifts
Betsy starts to cry
My iPod was stolen by TSA or ground crew (thanks for the we searched your bag some stuff may be missing leaflet on the bottom of my bag)
One lone ear hear at a time
Is it wrong to gift an ear nose trimmer?
Would you take that personally
Betsy's bad ear
"I'll buy all this grass if sell it to me for 75% off, and load it into my Volvo"
Buying the dead grass in November for summer planting . . . bad idea
We'll be back tomorrow

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Tags: Volvo v70 dairysnake Resale Queen zebra grass eBay piles

Vacation: Act #1 Naperville to Omaha

Mon, 12 Jun 2006 05:59:32 -0500

Croncast - 2006-06-12.mp3

Show: #235
Length: 37:05
Size: 25.4 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris June 12, 2006

Thus begins our sharing of a vacation that ended 5 days early. We are not quite sure that our big summer vacaction driving to Denver in Slowsky was really a vacation. But we are sure that we will never drive anywhere on vacation again.

What we can say about our trip is that with the help of many lucid memories and five days to regain our footing on solid ground that we would like to bring your our trip in three separate podcasts. There is too much to share in a single 30 to 40 minute podcast that deserves great attention to detail.

What do you call a thousand mile trip in you wife's savings account? If you're us, show prep.

The long, feel good intro
Sending email easy like
When we last left you it was June 2 of 2006 a millenia ago
Things were much simpler then
H.G. Wells Time machine could take us back
Walking hand in hand with your spuse at the beach
I would have liked to have decided not to go on vacation
We should have flown
Short version, we leave, there's trouble and we come home five days early
Here we go
We're going to rcap the whole thing in 3 shows
It is June 2, 2006 in nice and sunny Naperville, IL
Kris is an hour late and damned Skype showed it to Betsy
Moments of our life are really important to you
Betsy pretends that she is me on Skype sometimes
The planets seemed to be aligned for our trip
The eBay pick-up guy got here right on time
Naperville was going to be hardest part with traffic
Driving Slowsky is like launching a boat
An hour and a half later w'ere making 8 miles of progress
The van is too tall for most drive thru awnings
Slowsky went to the dealer and got $1500 of repairs to travel worldwide
This is the point where you start adding up the costs
Gas doesn't count as vehicle maintenance
We finally make it to I-88
Slowsky is topping out at 70 mph with nothing more to give
First omen . . . we ignore it
We're gonna make it to Omaha
It wasn't a shifting issue but I am pushing Slowsky really hard
We get near DeKalb which is 50 miles from home and think about turning it around again
We push on
Betsy says "no" to my lead foot and thinks the 70 mph thing is good Slowsky is sucking gas and needs refill at 180 mile mark, still in Illinois Another omen Kris starts venting that we should have flown at gas station number two
"I drove the Alaskan Highway and need a new car."
All the signs were there
It was our decision to keep moving on
Not true to Betsy's faith
Dinner at The World's Largest Truck Stop on I-80
Maybe it is safe because it's a tourist trap
Nope, it's a 3-D world of a sex offender registry
All just minor inconveniences at this point
Bleeding money out of my eye balls
10 years ago this would have been an adventure but with kids it is a nightmare
In Iowa they drive on the grass
Not a single room vacant
Pulling off on Omaha hoping for an empty hotel room
Scoring a room 20 miles north of downtown
10,000 lesbians converged on Omaha the same day as our vacation, of course

Coming up on Wednesday . . . Vacation: Act #2 Omaha to Denver

Tags: vacation Denver John Elway Dodge Naperville Omaha Slowsky thetrip

Vacation is on!

Wed, 24 May 2006 09:09:53 -0500

We've got everything square to hit the road on Friday June 2nd after the man wraps his kindergarten session. Summer officially begins. Now if it will just warm up!

Most of you know we'll be heading off to Denver and Boulder. We know no one out there (I plan on a business meeting or two, so I know those guys) and are looking forward to bumming around. It has been a long time since we did one of these trips and it will be interesting to see how the kids react to it. Especially if we take the Scion xB. Hopefully, this "Slowsky" purchase will work out and it can handle a few thousand miles.

On the way west we'll be taking I-80 which cuts through Iowa and Nebraska on the way to Colorado. If you are near any part of this trip let's meet up. Or if you have any recommendations for spots to visit post a comment here and we can set something up.

Tags: vacation Denver slowsky Scion xB I-80 Colorado

Betsy and her husband Kris May 03, 2006

Thu, 04 May 2006 05:54:32 -0500

Croncast - 2006-05-03.mp3

Show: #223
Length: 48:46
Size: 33.5 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris May 03, 2006

Betsy doesn't just wear the pants, she wears my pants
Naperville podcast and blogger meet-up
Another thing about you that pisses me off
Getting up early and not getting it ready
The morning outfit
The work uniform - khakis
The late night outfit
I'm in denial about my age Old Navy
But I still wear the same underwear
Fantastical story told by Betsy
Forced to wear your pants
Spanglies and bald eagles sewed on the pockets
Wear your uniform to go out
Tanslacks.com
Khakis are the new suit - bleh
Jeans and a dress shirt
Betsy says Silicone Valley for the 55th time and I call her on it
The roller coaster drawing of Missy in the second grade
Busted handed it off
Staying in during lunch
She was a sub teacher who I ended up hanging out with her daughter
Kids can shake stuff off, it's the parents that get the hang up
The fury of people messing with your progeny
Girls hold grudges, boys don't
Military films
Why didn't you to into the armed services?
Why is there always a bus that these guys get on?
No speeding ticket for lead foot Kris
He gets a $2,000 ticket for not having insurance
But I do have insurance, just need to go to court and prove it
It was a 25 mph zone
If your eye lids are catching air you are driving too fast
Police with crazy handlebar mustaches rock
Young cop versus old cop
Channel one
Here come the Colbert roast of Bush . . . right on!
Here's a link to the transcript
The Dems need to be behind and action like this
This was the time to do it and it was done well, thank you
No one gives a rat's ass about summer television except Betsy
The DVR will be humming with her summer reality shows
The ones that made 6 episodes and then imploded
"Deadliest hair dresser who likes to bake pies"
More vasectomy stories
I can't believe I am going to go through with this
Mike Baker's story of watching in a reflection from the urologists glasses
Alter ego says the clips are no joke
I couldn't do the samples right
Betsy calls Sirius
We have no idea what we are doing with the show anymore
Sure we'd like to make money from the show
Betsy reads another email from her pop
Great vasectomy results will also inlcude something beyond freedom
ID3 will be online only and not PDF, some people need to learn how to read
Betsy needs an elevator pitch for the show
Send us your elevator pitch
Baby monitor form cell phone and land line
She asks listeners to send email to ideas@sirius-radio.com
What is a good fit for us?
HBO needs a podcast directory

Tags: Colbert khakis military films speeding Sirius Missy