surgery | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

Co-Host, Stiff Spine, With Bjorn

Sat, 13 Nov 2010 11:38:01 -0600

Episode: #690 | Length:29:42 | Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Hmmmmm . . .
Something for SEO
I got nothing
This is a great episode

Tags: surgery fused spine with child betsy shilts

Man Knockers, Starvation Diet, Squirt Gun Legend

Fri, 25 Jun 2010 10:55:19 -0500

Episode: #644
Length: 29:58
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Five Stars on the iTunes
I gotta give you 5 stars
On your weight loss starvation diet
You looking svelt and
Moobtacular
Agreed, baby, my man knockers are heavy
Learning to drive at 12
Oral surgery plus rubber bands and chicken wire
Country road community
Squirt gun legends
Where is the cabbie?

Tags: moobtacular svelt starvation diet country roads cabbie update

Season 25 Episode 19: The Croncast Shorty

Fri, 25 Jun 2010 10:48:52 -0500

Episode: #644 The Croncast Shorty
Length: 6:58
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

Five Stars on the iTunes
I gotta give you 5 stars
On your weight loss starvation diet
You looking svelte and
Moobtacular
Agreed, baby, my man knockers are heavy
Learning to drive at 12
Oral surgery plus rubber bands and chicken wire
Country road community
Squirt gun legends
Where is the cabbie?

Tags: moobtacular svelt starvation diet country roads cabbie update

Season 20 Ep 15: Dumpster Golf, Penny Drop, Fancy Hood

Mon, 12 May 2008 13:54:32 -0500

Croncast - 2008-05-12.mp3
Show: #490
Length: 19.6
Size: 28:32 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2008 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

Betsy likes the amens to her sermons
Now they can tell me to mow my lawn
We are way more boring than the show
The picture in her head of you was repulsive
Good thing she didn't see a real picture
I despise this time of year the most
Why?
The grass grows
I hate the mowing
Pulling back that shade for bits of sunlights
I am the Boo Radley of the neighborhood
I have been honing my skills without you
Something new to the Resale Queen toolbox
Not the Billy Squire stroke
A body bag full of bubble wrap
A body bag?
I tried to do a Penny Drop
That was for those of you that too kindergarten gymnastics
Tetanus shot for junking license
I had to have the bubble wrap
So I went to Goodwill
Fast like a bunny
I bought a Titleist
Golf club
We playing gold today mommy?
Yes, Maggie, dumpster golf
Your Titleist for dumpster diving
Your like a gorilla in the mist
Your people were the strain that hung on the jungle floor
Mine were smarter and more motivated
Now, I bring home the bananas
It's all about who brings home the bacon
I am forever grateful that you make enough for me to dig in a dumpster
We found your wife, sir.
Behind what store?
It could be worse, I could be a scrap booker
It is a services
I'm not going to mess with these women
They are serious
Treating things better
Betsy flattens a tire on my car
I'm driving slow on your rim
You were right next to the car dealership
Why didn't you just go there?
You used to recruit truck drivers, you talk to him
Sorry to be so vaginal
I just gave up
Why is he trying to change the tire?
Does he know how to change a tire?
Yeah, that's a lot of money for a fancy hood
They say that to a lot of women who get labia surgery too

Tags: Titleist gold club the bacon penny drop gymnastics

Season 19 Ep 23: Omniscient Nerd, Void Your Warranty, Ferocity

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 09:42:29 -0500

Croncast - 2008-03-21.mp3
Show: #470
Length: 15:41
Size: 10.8mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

We keeps it short today
Maggie is sick with croup and flu with fever
It's one half of a show
So I was at Goodwill
What story you tell doesn't start this way?
My pockets were loaded
I don't trust my purse
You shouldn't
We haven't told the story of your purse being stolen yet?
Nope
Another day
Not to be disgusting
Sure
I had to go to the bathroom and leave my cart outside the door
I pulled up my pants with ferocity
As soon as I left my pockets felt lighter
Oh, Baby
I go back in and my cell phone is in the toilet
Multi-use public toilet
I had to decide which hand to stick into the toilet
Baby, I gotta tell ya
You should have just left it
Goodwill urine water would do it
You could have sold it with your personal information
What are they going to steal? Your skype number?
This person could use more friends
Lists of potential friends
I love the idea
How much is a list of friends from a cell phone found in a toilet at Goodwill?
You're right
Kris, I need you to get me a new phone
I want a penny phone
Cheap flip phone?
Cell phones say a lot about people
It's like getting out of prison and wearing the same clothes from 20 years ago
I want a phone that I can dial and drive
If you hit the shift key you can dial numbers
It isn't a smart phone
They call that insurance fraud
I gotta hit the red dot
Sure, if you crack the head open you will void the warranty
It's funny you say that
Two months ago I had brain surgery
I felt like I was an inch tall
Omniscient nerd

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

Tags: smart phone Verizon voided warranty Omniscient nerd

Season 19 Ep 4: Volvo Petting Zoo, Butter Dish, The Wheel

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 08:20:21 -0600

Croncast - 2008-01-14.mp3
Show: #450
Length: 38:50
Size: 26.7mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

New intro music keeps on rolling along
Posts are the items in the site
I think you lost dad at upload
That could be the catch phrase from a nerd movie
"You had me at upload"
Having the love of a nerd is like that of a Golden Retriever
The red in their eyes
Like the bloodhounds
We'll get your's fixed someday
You can get side by side
And then I'll get you plastic surgery, the both of you
We do dis and dis, but not dis
I should have bitten his face
We took the dogs to the groomer
Changing deaf dogs name every three weeks
What does it matter?
You know what happens to 15 dogs right?
Sure, they die
No
The dog is walking around with cancer and a 13th nipple
Dog groomers should know better and look for lumps
The number one thing that gets skipped is the finger in the butt
No one wants to drain a dog
Let fail you
Betsy likens web designers with Goodwill
The two handed dog shave
Like she was swinging a bat
The last time they cut off a mole
It was like a half-dollar size
Don't feed her by hand
She wants to even the score
How many times has this dog been to the pound?
Thirteen times
Mom is nuts when we go to vet or groomer
Sure, your dog is big and he pees on your knees
When we hit the door little deaf dog freaked
I didn't realize she was that aware
Of course she is
Then my mom takes on the trauma of the dog
I know from the Dog Whisperer that is not how to act
The dog wants someone to lead
First of all, she's deaf
I want you to write that in big block letters
She needs to be drained, I can tell
Then she feels guilty for bringing in the dog
I know how this goes
Then my mom will decide to put the dog to sleep
It only has one duty . . . eat what Maggie drops
I swear Shih Tzus were designed to catch spaghetti on their head
Just do what is least invasive
Gonna put in a Jarvik .021?
In six months we'll be Shih Tzu shopping again
Your mom is the Kevorkian of the dog adoption world
I got Wheel of Fortune auditions today!!
I know you are so excited
The sounds you were making when you got the email
If I win money I'm buying a goat
This here is the only petting zoo in the entire nation delivered to you in a Volvo
Designer outlet mall parking lots would never be the same
Two dollars, don't touch my goat
You need to be comfortable
What not to do
I was freaking because I thought from your yell something was happening
Sure, like Maggie went face first into a hot stove
Nope, just The Wheel
Eeyor tells you how to overcome your fear of success PBS special
What happens when Betsy is on and knows it?
You get too over the top . . . just catch yourself and reel it in
Kris, quit with the analogies
I say this as your number one fan
I have been there for every party where you hold court
You'll be fine
Marcus hits my cart
He says, "who the hell are you?"
I ask where the butter dish is at
His reply, "Oooooooo oooooOOOO"
The manager walks up and taps me on the shoulder, "did you see that doll house?"

Tags: dollhouse Shih Tzu dog groomer butter dish Kevorkian

Betsy and her husband Kris Feb 23, 2007

Fri, 23 Feb 2007 09:19:08 -0600

Croncast - 2007-02-23.mp3
Show: #341
Length: 28:24
Size: 19.5mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris February 23, 2007

A little late, a little under the weather
Do you need your inhaler?
I had that last winter not this
I'm surprised that you don't come home with an 8 inch needle
Wrong site surgery type issues
You can only put this behind his knee
I won't even let them plug him in
You would go in for an appendectomy and come out without nipples
You never heard Pink Floyd
The Wall was built up as such a classic but
The brain doesn't function the way is used too
It's all down hill from here
My pores are getting bigger
Double and triple hairs coming out of the same follicle
The cure for cancer has been put off a day
Betsy reads the email
No more Croncast while loading agarose gel
It does contribute!
Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
Look for the graphic on "Audience Survey" on the main page

Betsy is going to take real estate classes!
I am so proud of you
So here's my LSAT story, Bears
Can I have that cross-stitched and hung on the wall
No being able to sell murder mcmansions is like being locked out of goodwill
I'm not like Donald Trump . . . I am keeping all of my hair
Early morning TV is quite possibly the prime example of our civilization's decline
Maggie counting with Sesame Street
Elliot has never been engaged by television
I was pack him a little hobo bag
"You can't hit your sister when she goes on on the potty!!!"
Don't forget that we are taking off the month of March
Send us an email . . . come up with some things that would make Croncast better for you
Nobody likes Dr. Phil and no one wants to be married to him

Tags: Murder McMansion LSAT testing appendectomy and come out without nipples agarose gel civilization's decline Pink Floyd

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 25, 2006

Fri, 25 Aug 2006 06:54:29 -0500

Croncast - 2006-08-25.mp3

Show: #267
Length: 31:28
Size: 21.6 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris August 25, 2006

1) Fill out the appropriate form for you - *New* Listener or Get a Handle (current listener)
2) Verify your email address (Activates and qualifies those with a "Handle")
3) *New* listeners get activated and qualified by using their special RSS feed
4) 300th new listener and the person whose Handle they use win iPods AND
5) A drawing for 2 more iPods from everyone who entered!

Who's that voice?
Running out of breath
Get some exercise Mr. B
Betsy is getting into this exercise bit
Like most of America I am motivated by reality television
Maybe I shoould get off the couch
"Workout" the show
Cobwebs on the mic
The only celebrity is Jodi Watley
Billy Ocean tomorrow
Breast reduction surgery no needed
What man stands behind that surgery
Two bar stools on wheels to push them around
Two great acres for one great house
Kris's stress level is through the roof and it makes him smell
What happens when you make more money podcasting than your day job?
If we close the big deal I will talk all about it
Please no Booba
Kris smells like bad bad bad
Deodorant is your friend
"Kris . . . you want a candy bar don't you!"
Fuck you and your candy bar
The old waitress and punishment
Betsy's evil horrible sound that will stay with me when I am rotting in the earth
Garage sale Betsy just can't stay away
Paying the lawn mowing boys
Greatest garage sale ever
The big toys are back . . .
300 by 300th update
PhilipZ is holding it down with Handle Moxie

Tags: Workout Billy Ocean Jodi Watley breast reduction body odor

Betsy and her husband Kris May 17, 2006

Wed, 17 May 2006 05:25:52 -0500

Croncast - 2006-05-17.mp3

Show: #228
Length: 31:42
Size: 21.7 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris May 17, 2006

I'm recovering
I have children that need to be distracted with sharp, dangerous objects
Betsy parents like Britney Spears
Letting strangers raise you child
Squadron of papparazi following you
Betsy is my squadron
Punishment arguements
Interceding with bareness
He cannot change his focus once he starts to focus
Hey buddy syndrome
The craziest lion analogy you have ever heard
No problem with the punishment
You just want to be his friend
You're mom is out of hand
Parenting differently than the other parent
Barb starts running around the house
Sleeping on the floor is weird
What battles you choose as a parent
Playing video games for better hand eye cordination for sports, Kyle?
Kris can't beleive that Betsy remembers that
Betsy says my PSP will end up on eBay

Cats suck.

I am giving Betsy a ticket to Florida . . . to be eaten by an Alligator
Flooding in the North East
The clip of the same guy on his roof waving
People are being eaten everyday in Florida
I blame the pimps
If I was a pimp
Kris's ladies would play PSP all day
Betsy channels her dad with a "big wide world"
Laughing hurts Kris's body
To all my homies, wear the jock
The beauty of the black jock strap
Henry forgot to mention that the Doc was a conservative
I was hoodwinked
Honduran plastic surgery next
I will agree with anyone who has needles and thread down there
Colony on guam with my seed, you bet
Sterilizing a liberal
Notching up for each one
Chicago politics
"They" inlcudes you now too
Seeing the light
Betsy needs to provide for herself
Kris breaks it down for Betsy
Betsy admits that Kris was right and couldn't believe that I called her on it
Our vacation is plans are on hold until later today
The Gigi evil face

Tags: Britney Spears vasectomy Alligators parenting pimps PSP

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr. 7, 2006

Fri, 07 Apr 2006 07:16:09 -0500

Croncast - 2006-04-07.mp3

Show: #212
Length: 38:18
Size: 26.3 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr. 7, 2006

Listen with iTunes? Leave us a comment - spread the word!

Show Notes

Gotta run to work.

We address "foreign accent syndrome" or disorder whatever it is
Speak to some more surgery
Betsy's household management position
"Why the hell did you marry him in the first place?"
Spinning dog blood at 3 a.m.
Doing a Disney vacation instead of Deadwood
No heroic measure . . . DNR for dog

Tags: muffin dnr marriage household management foreign accent syndrome

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr. 5, 2006

Wed, 05 Apr 2006 07:00:16 -0500

Show Notes for #211

Length: 38:14
Size: 26.2 mb
Format: mp3

Download Croncast - 2006-04-05.mp3

Listen with iTunes? Spread the word!

Betsy and I try to follow up Monday's show and feel the pressure. We talked about it before the mics went on and well, you'll hear.

It is Wednesday right?
It is top Chef Day on Bravo
Betsy could watch any reality show
A three bean chili to reference top shelf
Lots of Kris coughing
The reality show formula
Good at the game because they are mediocre
Not as terrible as the 17 year old girl
Crabby 50 year old
Kris says porn is reality based
Betsy says, "Don't mess with my handy man fantasy"
Muffin blows a gasket upstairs
Mother-in-law wants to put the dog to sleep
Princess Muffin's doggyness
Doggyy boarding school 3 years ago . . . . $1800!
This damn dog ruining the carpet
She has to eat with the special dog gravy sauce
Who the hell whould buy dog gravy
Dog gravy or Garlic Pretzels?
Buying wierd snacks so no one eats them
Placebo diet of "nothing to eat"
No salty fingers here
You have no idea
The sweet, slow developmentally disable check out girl
You don't need cash
Dealers soon to take debit cards
Trying PeaPod
Kris needs to buy his own groceries
Get a better job you can buy real Cheatos
Can stand powder cheese and spaghettios
OkeDoke popcorn
The spaghettio taste and disgusting scent
Swedish spaghetti derivitive prok grease and corn starch
Who wants Betsy's Swedish Spaghetti recipe?
Chicken wings and french fries
Betsy's dream list
How many puffalumps to sell for an extreme body makeover
Armpits that look like asshole
Sweeping up the shavings from the floor
Getting an armlift
Betsy flank steak
Now you know what is really in bologna
Betsy has the plastic surgeons ad floating on the counter for a week
Betsy wants a tummy tuck, arm lift and my fav a breast do up
Why? Had two kids and have lost over 110 lbs
Metamorphic changes that need extreme home make over
10 weeks in bed and $40,000 and what do you get?
Bring on the fourth one
I don't care what they fill them with
Look good and soft to my touch
What surgery would Kris get?
Fix my teeth and bore out one of my nostrils
I can put a quarter width wise in my nose hole
Maggie has a weird nose (probly from her real daddy)
Comcast DVR is for bitches it is bad tech
Betsy is now a Big Love fan
Regret not doing the promos for HBO?
Betsy refused to pimped us out for $5.00 (not the real amount)
Is HBO worth it anymore?
Vacation to Deadwood, S.D.
Send your tricks for travleing with kids
Marlin Perkins from Wild Kingdom had it right
Send the kid running, dart them, wrap him in a net, blindfold him and then release him in the wild
Betsy wants to take a small airplane to S.D.
I'm not going camping
North Country - the movie, Betsy gives ending away
Aerosol spray butter

Tags: top chef swedish reality show croncast podcast

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 34

Thu, 10 Feb 2005 12:52:24 -0600

Croncast - 2005-02-10.mp3

Show: #71
Length: 37:31
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 17.2 mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 34

My special guest on this show is . . . the ailing Betsy. We talk a little today about one night stands, can you call a intimate love a "lady friend"?, what about "man friend"?

What a world. Kris actually talks about politics on the show today. Betsy and I talked about our liberal tendencies and Kris actually has something good to say about a Republican president.

So with politics aside, or right out in the open, we talk more about pet modification, Kris not remembering what he posted on the blog yesterday, NPR stories, Darfur, Rush and his Oxycontin, dumpster diving for food, the need for plastic surgery, the best description of breasts after they have been used for feeding by Betsy, Kris losing 85 lbs and Betsy lost 135 lbs, podcasting everyday is like cocaine and the shout outs to Dave Miller from The Miller Report, Rinne and James at The Invincibles.org (you have to check out the newest video), and we end with Kris's jacked up teeth . . . again.

Tags: kris betsy croncast actually miller

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 19

Wed, 05 Jan 2005 12:43:23 -0600

Croncast - 2005-01-05.mp3

Show: #46
Length: 35:28
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64k
Size: 16.2 mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 19

Today's show is what I consider one of the best that Betsy and I have done.

Today's Show

Intro
I said "shoot us" an email
Kris doesn't have a non-nerdy alter ego
Shane is MIP (Missing In Podcasting)
MixCast - it is beta - first podcasting killer app
Betsy's birthday is in 4 days
Is there an after life?
Make a card or something
Betsy tells Kris not to buy her a gift
$10 dollar spending limit
Betsy is excessive
The "playdate" in the suburbs
My doggy went crazy
Birthday suggesstions for Betsy-
1) $10 gift certificate to Goodwill
2) $10 in make-up from dollar store
3) $10 for Aldi's
Betsy asks if we've been married for 10 years - Answer: 9
What am I going to get Betsy?
Nicole Simon - http://useful-sounds.de/
Kris abducted Betsy as a teenager
Oops, look what you did to me
Don't tell people that they are hormonally crazy or about to be
12 hour erection or 12 hour boner?
Penis enhancement surgery
Kinsey - I hurt even typing it in
It's snowing in Chicagoland
Do the suburban school's have snow days?
Special THANK YOU to our listeners!!!!
Vote for Croncast at Podcastalley.com a vote of confidence
The baby can live outside now
Tell your friends about the show
All about the planchette
The baby goes nuts
Betsy asks Kris, if he knows what it is like to be pregnant?
The creepy creature in your abdomen
An obese squirrel in the abdomen
Betsy asks Kris if he knows what it is like to give birth?
"You feel like you're gonna die"
No Diet Coke but the heroine is OK in labor
Who's gonna get fixed, Kris or Betsy?
Laparoscopy is the word
The Man's MRI at 2 1/2 years old
Pumping him full of dope
The more he got the more pissed off he got
Our PSA for calming your medically challenged kid - Robot Arm
He's been seizure free for a year
Now he knows the "F" word
Kris was raised by stray cats and wolves
They are Peti Mal
Who's next?
Kris really wants to interview Jeff Bridges

Tags: betsy kris croncast asks knows