teeth | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

TechCrunch40 in 60 seconds - a belated tale

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 11:33:28 -0600

Remember TechCrunch40 from a few months back? I do.

Some of you have lived it through my eyes as I recounted the story on the show and others of you at parties. This 60 seconds I will never relive again but I knew it was magical moment. Consider it Parable 2.0.

Scene: I am in the lower level bathroom of the Palace Hotel brushing my teeth. It is silent for twenty seconds. Silence is broken by a guy leaving a stall. I have no idea he was in there. I see his badge in the mirror, Demo Pit badge. He walks right out. Didn't wash his hands. Note to self - wtf, that is gross he is going to be shaking hands all day. I'll live.

Ten seconds later another stall door opens and out walks another guy with a Demo Pit badge. He walks up to the mirror. Begins running fingers through hair. Finishes and walks out of the bathroom. Doesn't wash his hands. I am completely grossed out.

I am finishing up brushing my teeth. Ten seconds later in walks a VC (one that we all know) and he comes over to the sink. He makes small talk while washing his hands. Walks away to use facilities.

Twenty seconds after my thoughts are complete. The lesson that has been taught to me is clear:

A Demo Pit guy will rub his hands in his butt and shake your hand, but a VC will wash his hands before he touches his junk.

Tags: Purell Parable 2.0 Demo Pit TechCrunch40

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 09, 2007

Fri, 09 Nov 2007 07:21:44 -0600

Croncast - 2007-11-09.mp3
Show: #431
Length: 34:07
Size: 23.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 09, 2007

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Croncast been holding it down for 3 Years
431 podcasts as of today
You got 3 years from us . . . leave us 3 sentences in the comments
You should play some of the old interviews
No
People can still download them, but I'm not playing them
Your kilted friend
That was an awkward situation
Oh, the Renn faire . . . what goes on there?
Can you create chemistry
I did the snowmobile show
It was the number one show in the world for a while
Then it disappeared
Yeah, Nick decided it was over . . . no moolah
Betsy, I got in your proximity
I feel sorry for your microphone
You need to brush your teeth
What is that crap you are eating
The humus
Not quite as bad as the Aquadots
I told you they were poison
Yeah, but you say every toy is poison
Any item is actually life threatening
I look at the world in the form of 'If I needed to defend myself in prison
Hey, I'm a producer
You could take over anything with a hot cup of coffee
Maybe I'll get my iPod back finally
Rock on Cronast
Do you know who this iPod begins long?
No more Samsonite luggage picking guys
Who the hell has an iPod full of ZZ Top
Speaking of things we talk about that offend people
Online degrees
Yes, Kris has one
And an AA from a junior college
I'm on the inside, I can make that joke
I worked in higher ed for 5 years
I watched the growth into online learning
We got no respect for it
Even from anyone in other distance education modes
I would still be representing as Captain Pizza making fine Italian pies
Working at a gas station is more of a psychographic read
I worked with a lottery winner
She won a couple million bucks
Just because she won the lottery doesn't make her interesting
I got lucky picking numbers
It isn't about how you won money, that isn't interesting
What happened with the money is interesting
Talked to a guy in Boston and he was like I made some loot
Then I left the country for 16 years
Don't remember it all
If I hadn't married you, I was this guy
It was like looking at myself at 65
Did your souls slip out and kiss
And minor nerve damage
Maybe he was eating Aquadots
There is something so unnatural about adding water to anything and making super glue
Seeing as how your body is 98 percent water someone should have caught that
Well, guys
Betsy is a mess
You broke down two minutes in
I am deep fried on the KFC scale
It's the job thing, the improv thing, eBay stuff and then class
You got to get on that
People need to just tell you what do
Betsy quit taking things dirty
What the hell is a safe word?
Yeah I know what it is
No one knows, I'm a deviant
I know what it is, that is what I was saying
No one at improv knew
Your audience won't know
The hell they won't, my audience will
WTF?
I have more respect with my audience than to talk down to them
I don't think I made it
You got to let it go
This is a good experience
You are learning from it
You are taking it off the deep end
You tried out for the local, yes local
They are here . . . not NY or LA
You just need more experience
Call them on it
Don't let it continue on
Deal with it and get an answer
Going to the DMV
They had the wrong soc # for me
They also had Slowsky still in the computer as being owned by you

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
Look for the graphic on "Audience Survey" on the main page

Tags: iPod ZZ Top DMV Croncast Aquadots Slowsky

Thank you vampire teeth buyer

Fri, 12 Oct 2007 10:17:13 -0500

Happy halloween to the first buyer from a flafoo.com link.

Enjoy your vampire teeth!

You have been officially flafooed.

Tags: halloween vampire teeth flafoo flafoo.com

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 17, 2007

Fri, 17 Aug 2007 08:45:47 -0500

Croncast - 2007-08-17.mp3
Show: #398
Length: 29:56
Size: 20.5mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 17, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

I'm losing my voice again
Thanks to your children
Serves you right!
Mr. "In a minute"
Hitting refresh is not a job
Doing who is queries all day
The fact that you know what a who is query is . . . time for love love
The pitter patter of Gigi upstairs
Don't spray that in your eye
Maggie locked me in the basement
Every woman in this house locks me in the basement
Once she realizes I am on one side and she is on the other she freaks out
Daddy, daddy dadddy
I begin to stress because I hear the crying
It activates that parental thing in me
There is one way out other than crawling out
A big man in a small window
Yeah, it is like fat women and little dogs
I begin yelling for the other one to come and unlock the door
The dogs start barking
I'm screaming at the top of my lungs
I start yelling up the vents hoping Elliot would hear me
Why didn't you just stick one man titty at a time out the window and ease out
You need to get out of the house Mr. B
I really wish we could spend time together at things like the Great American Yard Sale
You could be my wing man Mr. B
Anyways, I got you
Who wants to play with plushies with you
Betsy does improv class night two
It will make me a better listener, Kris
It has brought insight into your life
I have learned what it is like to be a man
Someone will redirect you in the moment and you can move on
I just think you've got a brain like golden retriever
I don't have to be a tree at home
We should have a family game night with improv games
Oh, wait I have an idea . . . how about family HTML programming night right before dessert
The new dude walks in to class and he is a programmer
I thought you were a coder
I can smell it on your breath
What does it smell like?
Your mother's basement
It was super fun
I had a near death experience Mr. B
How does that happen when all you do is go and get coffee and hit up Goodwill
I put down the mocha latta
I'm parked next to a big shiny Lexus
Maggie freaks and I open my car door into the car
Then I see that the car is occupied
Fuck you and your fucking small car
The woman gets out of her car very slowly
I don't know what you are supposed to do in that situation
It's a Volvo, it's bullet proof, don't touch me
It gets worse
I did what any self respecting mommy would do
I lick my shirt and rub the mark off her car
She makes eye contact and says, "Stop licking my car"
My ass was grass
Get your lips off my Lexus
I had successfully removed the scratch with my magic eraser finger
I hit your car but I successfully slimed off the mark
The dust of Elk Mountain
I would get arrested for that
I know what I am going to do
I ran
I ran away from her
I picked up Maggie and ran
If she hits my car, well, it is insured
I wasn't going to wait until she popped out my eye teeth
Betsy will minimize anyone else's shit
Just because you don't care about your car doesn't mean other people don't
The Dust of Montrose
Was my greatest vacation ever
Your not helping me out Mr. B
The Great American Yard Sale has moved to a mall parking lot
Westfield shopping center won't know what hit
Welcome to camp Junk Ass
One legged box races
There are some one legged people that can gallop
I need you to help me out
I'll get there at four in the morning and it will give me a 10 minute head start
They stole my Jaguar off my hood
What it the whole point of owning the Jaguar is the stupid little shiny thing
Yeah, now it is next to some kids tee ball trophy
Dealership says none in stock
Ornament $211, labor $78 and with tax it will be about $330
Didn't you have any markings on it?
Thanks to Bernadette for this review and write up!

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
Look for the graphic on "Audience Survey" on the main page

Tags: Black Lexus Great American Yard Sale improv class Dust of Montrose Jaguar hood ornament

Heading to WordCamp 2007 July 21-22

Tue, 03 Jul 2007 16:01:59 -0500

I'll be heading out to San Francisco July 21-21 for WordCamp 2007.

Though I am not much a WordPress user these days I still use a couple installs as sandboxes for development. I guess I keep up because I am still in awe, months later, of WP MU.

Like many other people, I cut my teeth in open source and blogging with b2 as my first cadaver, then moved on to WP. I'm pretty stoked to see what kind of new stuff is coming to the app.

If anyone wants to get together while I'm out for dinner or drinks let me know.

Tags: WordCamp 2007 Swedish American Hall WP MU wordpress sandbox

Betsy and her husband Kris Feb 12, 2007

Mon, 12 Feb 2007 07:59:21 -0600

Croncast - 2007-02-12.mp3

Show: #336
Length: 34:28
Size: 23.6mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris February 12, 2007

This show was brought to you by Roger Palek (Kris says, "Richard" sorry Roger)
It's been a while
When I was in Boulder I only recorded one side of the show, mine
The best fan representation of our show
How about dress up as a puffy cuffs and send up your polaroid
Mr. B you are so forgetful . . .we need of list of people who donated
I'm on it
This show was brought to you by Roger Palek (Kris says, "Richard")
Not quite on it
Gone all last week and I'll be gone this week too
Betsy, "Do you know what I learned to do this week? Live without you."
It was nice and quiet without you around
Four days later I was missing you
You want me to want you 20 minutes after you walk out the door
I'll be gone over Valentine's day
Picking up the ring that already is paid for
Booba, give me your run down for the week
Betsy's bad eBay week
Goodwill Kodak slide trays makes it not so bad
Magazine "Good" with Marc Jacobs
Social Activism and Culture Jamming
Sounds like those are people who shower . . . not your people
There were no slides in the trays
"Fall over the lake"
"West side of the cabin"
This was some boring as shit man
Goodwill has been bad . . . it has been so cold
What was awesome about it was that I left
When I landed in Boulder it 54 degrees
I could tan in that weather I'm so white
54 degrees and sunny could cause me to blister
I'm surprised that you didn't come home in patchwork pants
Didn't you have homeless friends in college?
NO
My roommate used to pick up guys off IRC circa 1993
Laying in the bunk bed drunk and stoned
This strange mans leans over me and says, "Think she's want to join us."
Madrigals all the time
She was a whore monger
Those chicks scare me
How Kris became afraid of dentists
I could lord over him with my OK teeth
You never smiled until
I didn't know what a habit was
That's why my teeth are rotting out
He was the pamphlet reader
Free clinic will give you a drug you've never tried pamphlet
Well it's time Mr B to get your teeth fixed
Tongue depressors to fix teeth
She ended up with braces anyway

Tags: Roger Palek Good Magazine madrigals culture jamming Boulder, CO homeless friends

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 04, 2006

Sat, 04 Nov 2006 22:43:45 -0600

Croncast - 2006-11-04.mp3

Show: #294
Length: 23:26
Size: 16.1mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris November 04, 2006

Hey a Saturday show? Say what!!??!! It is true . . . we gotta make this 300 thing real and on time so we are cranking out some extra shows to make sure we hold up our end of the contest.

There's not much that I can do for show notes tonight 'cause I been down her in the basement all day writing code. What I can remember before hearing the show again is that: Betsy wants to get me new choppers
Betsy's crushing Empire experience continues thanks to listener comments
The rotting roof and skylight
Getting potty trained
The countdown to Thanksgiving
My TailorByrd shirts Be prepared tomorrow for a dairysnake update

1) Fill out the appropriate form for you - *New* Listener or Get a Handle (current listener)
2) Verify your email address (Activates and qualifies those with a "Handle")
3) *New* listeners get activated and qualified by using their special RSS feed
4) 300th new listener and the person whose Handle they use win iPods AND
5) A drawing for 2 more iPods from everyone who entered!

Tags: new teeth TailorByrd Empire Carpet dairysnake potty training

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr. 5, 2006

Wed, 05 Apr 2006 07:00:16 -0500

Show Notes for #211

Length: 38:14
Size: 26.2 mb
Format: mp3

Download Croncast - 2006-04-05.mp3

Listen with iTunes? Spread the word!

Betsy and I try to follow up Monday's show and feel the pressure. We talked about it before the mics went on and well, you'll hear.

It is Wednesday right?
It is top Chef Day on Bravo
Betsy could watch any reality show
A three bean chili to reference top shelf
Lots of Kris coughing
The reality show formula
Good at the game because they are mediocre
Not as terrible as the 17 year old girl
Crabby 50 year old
Kris says porn is reality based
Betsy says, "Don't mess with my handy man fantasy"
Muffin blows a gasket upstairs
Mother-in-law wants to put the dog to sleep
Princess Muffin's doggyness
Doggyy boarding school 3 years ago . . . . $1800!
This damn dog ruining the carpet
She has to eat with the special dog gravy sauce
Who the hell whould buy dog gravy
Dog gravy or Garlic Pretzels?
Buying wierd snacks so no one eats them
Placebo diet of "nothing to eat"
No salty fingers here
You have no idea
The sweet, slow developmentally disable check out girl
You don't need cash
Dealers soon to take debit cards
Trying PeaPod
Kris needs to buy his own groceries
Get a better job you can buy real Cheatos
Can stand powder cheese and spaghettios
OkeDoke popcorn
The spaghettio taste and disgusting scent
Swedish spaghetti derivitive prok grease and corn starch
Who wants Betsy's Swedish Spaghetti recipe?
Chicken wings and french fries
Betsy's dream list
How many puffalumps to sell for an extreme body makeover
Armpits that look like asshole
Sweeping up the shavings from the floor
Getting an armlift
Betsy flank steak
Now you know what is really in bologna
Betsy has the plastic surgeons ad floating on the counter for a week
Betsy wants a tummy tuck, arm lift and my fav a breast do up
Why? Had two kids and have lost over 110 lbs
Metamorphic changes that need extreme home make over
10 weeks in bed and $40,000 and what do you get?
Bring on the fourth one
I don't care what they fill them with
Look good and soft to my touch
What surgery would Kris get?
Fix my teeth and bore out one of my nostrils
I can put a quarter width wise in my nose hole
Maggie has a weird nose (probly from her real daddy)
Comcast DVR is for bitches it is bad tech
Betsy is now a Big Love fan
Regret not doing the promos for HBO?
Betsy refused to pimped us out for $5.00 (not the real amount)
Is HBO worth it anymore?
Vacation to Deadwood, S.D.
Send your tricks for travleing with kids
Marlin Perkins from Wild Kingdom had it right
Send the kid running, dart them, wrap him in a net, blindfold him and then release him in the wild
Betsy wants to take a small airplane to S.D.
I'm not going camping
North Country - the movie, Betsy gives ending away
Aerosol spray butter

Tags: top chef swedish reality show croncast podcast

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 98

Wed, 06 Jul 2005 05:26:33 -0500

Croncast - 2005-07-06.mp3

Show: #139
Length: 29:07
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 13.4mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 98

Betsy finds a date at SafetyTown
Kris is jealous
But he's a fireman so what can Kris do
He is Billy Blazes rescue hero
Kris wants Dental Spinners (thanks for the link Mike!!!)
what he really needs are braces
Elliot takes up shaving
Our 100th anniversary show is coming up
Kris is making me do a 100th show celebration
again
but this one is 100 betsy and kris shows
Send in your audio comments
Send us your funniest story
Ive told you mine its time for you guys to step up

For everyone who hasn't been to our site before and want to know what our shows are like check out the Best of the First 100.

You can stream it in the Flash player or download it to listen later.

Tags: kris betsy croncast send th

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 34

Thu, 10 Feb 2005 12:52:24 -0600

Croncast - 2005-02-10.mp3

Show: #71
Length: 37:31
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 17.2 mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 34

My special guest on this show is . . . the ailing Betsy. We talk a little today about one night stands, can you call a intimate love a "lady friend"?, what about "man friend"?

What a world. Kris actually talks about politics on the show today. Betsy and I talked about our liberal tendencies and Kris actually has something good to say about a Republican president.

So with politics aside, or right out in the open, we talk more about pet modification, Kris not remembering what he posted on the blog yesterday, NPR stories, Darfur, Rush and his Oxycontin, dumpster diving for food, the need for plastic surgery, the best description of breasts after they have been used for feeding by Betsy, Kris losing 85 lbs and Betsy lost 135 lbs, podcasting everyday is like cocaine and the shout outs to Dave Miller from The Miller Report, Rinne and James at The Invincibles.org (you have to check out the newest video), and we end with Kris's jacked up teeth . . . again.

Tags: kris betsy croncast actually miller

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 25

Fri, 21 Jan 2005 12:50:01 -0600

Croncast - 2005-01-21.mp3

Show: #58
Length: 21:37
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 9.9 mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 25

On today's show Betsy and I keep it real and short. I don't now if that makes any sense but

Today's Show

Show intro
Creepy new cat
Would it matter if I were done with the intro?
The last show from the nursery
$10 remodeling budget
Marlboro Miles
Temptation through cartoonization
Smoking is good if it doesn't hurt people
Cigarettes you warm up?
It's not going to work
Kris spent money yesterday
Supporting the ban
The country that Pepsi governs
We both worked at Hardee's in the day
Trimming the chicken
Kris won't talk about the pregnant lady
Back to talking about Kris' teeth
They're all in cahoots
Fixing Kris' teeth would be like pergo
How to fix up the basement for the show
Kris' peronal little boom boom room
"Nobody flush . . . I'm recording"
Stroller Swap for trading strollers
Have a good weekend everyone!

Tags: kris croncast betsy boom intro

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris - Ep.5

Tue, 30 Nov 2004 11:44:35 -0600

Croncast-2004-11-30-2.mp3

Length: 20:36
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64k
Size: 9.43 mb

Special edition Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris, to stop the shakes from not recording a podcast for 3 days. Three whole days . . . Jesus Christ . . . what was I thinking?

My secret is to record as long as a guest can stand it and then split the time up into separate shows. Guess it's not so secret now.

Today's Show

Intro
Secret is out
Miss Elizabeth Smith, Mrs. I mean
Where's the ring?
No talking about the mics
Kris needs a 'funky bunch'
Shane is MIP (missing in podcasting) we miss him
Turkeys in Hawaii
What do turkeys eat
Supersize Me - Why? I live it.
The prgnancy fat for three
Send us baby names - betsy@croncast.com
Pearl is good but for grannies - Betsy
Kris sends out message
We should change last name
Only marry people within 5 letters of the begining of your own.
Schmutz' and Skaggs'
The teeth, again
People with straight teeth don't listen to this show
Dental insurance
Kris is a poster boy for wearing your retainer
Shout out to Podcat
Kris' teeth lower Betsy's I.Q.
Send us baby names - betsy@croncast.com
Show dedicated to you
Baby stuff over taking studio
Fuck this - psuedo church
"I see a dollar"
Bare minumum $600 eBay queen
Christmas is a christian holiday?
Can't buy a lottery ticket with PayPal debit card
Kris's eBay negatives
Millers
T's for $.50
Wrap it up

Tags: kris betsy croncast baby teeth