thesmithmall | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 07, 2007

Wed, 07 Nov 2007 07:56:51 -0600

Croncast - 2007-11-07.mp3
Show: #430
Length: 31:18
Size: 21.0mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 07, 2007

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Kris nerds out about comment spam
Not all the comments are on
I gotta shut those people down with their Ultra Canadian Pharmacy
What is wrong with you?
No one wants to hear that
It's just creative advertising, Kris
This is getting super interesting
You've dropped a lot of your nerdisms
You aren't weird around girls anymore
Just because people are turned in your general direction
Well, it doesn't mean that they are listening
Betsy breaks down her improv auditions
Betsy is freaking out
I told you how this would go
Did you bring your headshot and resume?
Right, my resume that says CEO of internet startup TheSmithMall on eBay
See, you didn't think that this was real work
No shit, it is competitive
It was valuable
I crossed it off with a china marking pen
It was pretty much like the Wheel of Fortune Chicago auditions
My sister told me not to wear my generic broken Crocs
I looked down and that's what I was wearing with no socks
That is prepared Betsy style
At that moment I didn't feel that together
A guy show up in a Simpsons t-shirt and a trench coat
I see that guy and hit the floor
Nobody move, nobody get hurt
Another chick came in frazzled with watered down eyeliner
A totally Deep Fried Blonde (DFB)
That's their problem not mine
What age range can you play?
I just put 32
You're supposed to put what ages
Every time I fill out an app - White Hen, Hardees, Ben Franklin
I could have used you as a wing man
I have talked about Mike from Second City
You just prefaced it with that
Teaching there, holy shit
The fourteen stages of improv
It's all part of the shtick
Then they go through what we are going to do
I just want to go home and watch Desperate Housewives on dvr
What was your first car?
Chevy
What kind?
Silver
And they all started laughing
I wasn't trying to be funny
Now I gotta do these setups with strangers
It went well
You are in improv boot camp at The Comedy Shrine
Naperville is holding it down
I know Mr B . . . people across the country they have working toasters
The person in the chair is the mall information booth
I am always thinking of disposable goods
Where do they sell RID at the mall?
Betsy gets cut off
The person in front of me is the Deep Fried Blonde
Her teacher didn't come from Second City
She starts a god damn conversation with me
She wants to shine
All she was supposed to say was aisle three
I started behind the door
They said don't do that
"DFB," one word would be fine
Betsy, do someone foreign
You have to get creative
Foreign to Naperville is what I brought
I was way better on the way home
You are obsessing about this
I helped build you up
You are the most competitive person that I know
Betsy, you just have to stick with it
That is the key for you
I would think after 11 years of marriage you would know when to shut up
I am just wondering why to do this
The audition freaked me out
I knew I would be with professionals
While you are doing your audition I took the man to his doctors appointment
The nurse was treating him like he's managing his health care
Sure, like he set it up
He's lost weight and not grown
We've taught him some better eating habits
Here's a fruit party platter
She's leaving and asks him if their is anything else
He's talking non-stop
This is a lot less
"Elliot is there anything else you want to share," goes the nurse
"There is something else," Elliot
He looks right at me and says, "My mom says things to my dad that makes him really angry"
"She says really mean stuff," Elliot
Buddy, it might be a good idea to refrain
On the show, but he doesn't listen
Picking up probably on the hairy situation here in the house
Sure we all have stress and tension
Your mom and I are best friends
One of those moments
Then the kid asks, "Why am I in a foster home?"
Tomorrow, is the 3 YEAR CRONCAST ANNIVERSARY

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
Look for the graphic on "Audience Survey" on the main page

Tags: Second City The Comedy Shrine Deep Fried Blonde Hardees Croncast

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 10, 2007

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 06:43:35 -0600

Croncast - 2007-01-10.mp3

Show: #325
Length: 31:27
Size: 21.5mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 10, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by Tara Rester.
What is this new thing staring me in the face
It's a horse for American Girl Dolls
Not made by American Girl but by Battat
More stuff about American Girl vs. Battat that passes Kris right by
More big blue stuff
The dolphin got shipped off to Alabama
Yeah, because they don't know that dolphins aren't blue
Betsy's secret birthday wish didn't come true
She wants a picture of Mr. Handsome (Zeus, the dog)
Two pictures under that corrugated clear plastic where you move and the picture moves
You know the ruuu ruuu ruuu stuff under your finger nails
Out of the ether Betsy's hero called . . . Ben the handy man
I love him in the way that any woman loves a man that can fix things
Bears, you're just lazy
It's my birthday, get your ass over here . . . that's great
The handy man technique of quote then never show back up or call
Once they are kicked out of the next county they come back
They can't take Betsy's personality
It is her wit and intimidation
Maybe I did make you sound like an asshole for tearing a whole in my shower
What was he thinking with duct-tape and a Jewel bag
Sharing a bathroom for a month with your mother-in-law
Duct-tape in my own shower . . . you bet
Then my husband tells me no on speaker phone
Living in Milwaukee
Crazy guy asking the police if they masturbate
Betsy says, "I could live in Milwaukee forever"
Oh, I am never going to Menards with you again Betsy
Blame the mommies they have gas too
Send Betsy a Blue Mountain card at thesmithmall@hotmail.com
She's 31

Tags: Tara Rester American Girl Dolls Battat horse duct tape shower Betsy Smith

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 16, 2006

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 06:37:13 -0500

Croncast - 2006-08-16.mp3

Show: #263
Length: 33:33
Size: 23.0 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris August 16, 2006

1) Fill out the appropriate form for you - *New* Listener or Get a Handle (current listener)
2) Verify your email address (Activates and qualifies those with a "Handle")
3) *New* listeners get activated and qualified by using their special RSS feed
4) 300th new listener and the person whose Handle they use win iPods AND
5) A drawing for 2 more iPods from everyone who entered!

As you can see by the graphic and the stuff on the site we are starting the 300 by 300th listener drive and contest today. I am in a huge hurry so I can't say more now.

Listen to that sweet new voice "Welcome to Palegroove Studios"
The long intro with email addresses in it
Kris welcomes the new people and talks more about the 300 by 300th
Betsy says that she wants "thesmithmall" as a Handle
Sometimes she goes to sites and it is taken
As of this morning 9 people
Betsy says that the Easter bunny gives out iPods
Betsy wants to change the dog's name to Mack
He needs propecia on his belly
They are confusing his gender by calling him "she"
He can't walk on stairs
Slowsky now has a mascot, Zeus
The seats are a Golden Retriever width apart
He touches the seats and it makes Betsy feel good
Betsy says the dog doesn't pee in the house . . . lie!
He pees on me
Not in fear pee but I am soooo happy pee
Let me pee on your shoes
Betsy gets attacked by Zeus
Chubby then thin chubby then thin pregnant and chubby chubby and thin
Betsy has a rip in her skin
Betsy took the dog to the vet today
My anniversary gift was a clean garage . . . all set on the side of the house and bee infested
Betsy sacrificed to the Gods for The Great American Garage Sale
It was time to clean the garage
Betsy was finally sick of it after 2 years
So Betsy says it is the hookup
Goodwill is getting picky about what it is taking
We're not gonna take that crap even if it was bought here
No hassles about the quality
Betsy charges the gate and then just drives in
"No Entrance" sign doesn't mean anything to Betsy
"Are you really gonna turn away more stuff"
This is going to be me in 40 years
These are Betsy's people
Betsy says they were like carnies and I reminded her that I told her that already
Over the big stuff on eBay and the great american garage sale messes that up
Betsy's mom told her that last year that "a pack of gypsies were working the purses last year"
Sleeping in the parking lot
Getting clocked with a Gucci by a gypsy
In their own gyspsy conversion van with Fendi's flying out the back
Kris has a revelation
Glistening from his rearview mirror
Kris realizes that he knows nothing, really
Who am I to kid?
Vets are not doctors
The best vet waiting room story ensues

Tags: The Great American Garage Sale Goodwill eBay thesmithmall gyspies

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 28, 2006

Fri, 28 Jul 2006 06:33:12 -0500

Croncast - 2006-07-28.mp3

Show: #255
Length: 30:17
Size: 20.8 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris July 28, 2006

Kris is a bit persnickety tonight
Click the fifth tab for the real mailing address, 800 number and the email form
Send all email to thesmithmall@hotmail.com
Nobody gets it
Lots of Smiths in this world
So why did you take my last name anyway?
Normally I get along well with hardcore feminist chics
She made fun of me in class
The old sees the me me know there would be some problems
Keeping it real
Stoner in the basement that would have been managing the apartment building
Passing stuff up through the well
The Kris's social issues
Kris goes off into the world and then come trotting back with the stories
The problem is on my end, I know it
Hi, I'm Kris opening
There server cut loose with wind
I point out that the "smell" wasn't me
Bad move
Petit women never talk to me I think they are worried that I may fall on them and crush them like a bug
I'm married to you and you're not fine
TechCocktail1 was much more suitable for a bear
Betsy's dead racoon story
Racoon committed suicide
Muffin will meet her end this weekend
Explaining to the kids about the dog's imminent death
Tell him that when she dies he can have her cash card
Jauguar XK talk and emails
I only test drove the car . . . but yes I am in love
People don't think I follow through, they have never met my wife
The baby photos that never should see the light of day
Controlling the little sisters life

Tags: Smith feminist Muffin social problems TechCocktail1 Jaguar XK

Betsy's eBay information, items and RSS feed

Thu, 13 Jul 2006 10:03:36 -0500

I broke down and thought that it was time to add Betsy's eBay information. You can view all of her stuff for sale at any given time on this page.

Even cooler, eBay now offers and RSS feed for all of a sellers items. So this is the RSS feed for thesmithmall.

Tags: eBay Betsy thesmithmall junk Goodwill resale

Betsy and her husband Kris Mar. 27, 2006

Mon, 27 Mar 2006 07:46:07 -0600

Croncast - 2006-03-27.mp3

Show: #208
Length: 29:28
Size: 20.2mb
Format: mp3

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 164

Listen with iTunes? Leave us a comment - spread the word!

Show Notes

Betsy says I gotta listen . . . to her
Marked as important, yet ignored
Kris spent the weekend with the family
We rocked it out at the museum - www.msichicago.org

You get free coffee
Booba likes field museum better
The man considers it his museum
He acts like he owns the place
Mommies are restrictive
My lack of parenting is making him stronger
News from the lips of the babe
We sold the Lincoln!!
It is in better hands
Negotiable on the price
You bet how does $0 sound?
There was no hissy fit
Like a Golden Gloves prize fight with the Lincoln as the grand prize
He was a big guy . . . bigger than me
The buyer had a plan
Here's what is broken
Checking it out around the corner
Dealership auto jerks
Emotionally invested in selling the car
It was a great deal at the first price cut
Conferencing with Betsy
Now Betsy can fill the garage up with crap
Stuff all around the Lincoln . . . no more
eBay - thesmithmall (get your puffalumps)
I'll throw in a lifesize Barbie if you buy it today partner
Scam, scam, scam - thanks Lisa and Joe for the information!!
It sucks to be taken in
Kris tells way too long story about con man experience
Smelling the copy paper
This is a really crappy story Kris
Possibility that he stole our identities
Phone call from cops not cops
Original cheesehead guy and the knock-off cheesehead guy
The postcard mafia
Refresh your postcards for you
Betsy will throw down the Geraldo story on Wednesday
Kris was in suburban newspapers
Spend time with me so I can see the front of your face

Tags: msi chicago original cheesehead Geraldo lincoln stolen identity

Croncast - Elliot and his Daddy Ep. 1

Fri, 16 Dec 2005 10:44:31 -0600

Croncast - 2005-12-16.mp3

Show: #193
Length: 8:12
Size: 5.66 mb
Format: mp3

Croncast - Elliot and his Daddy Ep. 1

Show Notes

Elliot sings
Kris speaks to the week that was
Explaining why Betsy isn't on
Maggie begins having seizures
We are wiped out with doctor visits, tests and watching her
I will put up a news post with more specifics
If you have any words of encouragement please send them to Betsy at thesmithmall [at] hotmail.com

Tags: croncast elliot betsy ep daddy

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 143

Wed, 02 Nov 2005 07:05:16 -0600

Croncast - 2005-11-01.mp3

Show: #184
Length: 37:48
Size: 25.9 mb
Format: mp3

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 143

Show Notes

------------------------------------------
Betsy's eBay listings link

TheSmithMall

------------------------------------------

Show intro
Betsy sings (this is what happens before every show begins)
I am Betsy's bitch
I make her air pop popcorn
Betsy has scaley feet
Betsy wants a pedicure
Putting up a picture of Kris' feet would get us thousands of hits
They would all be men pleasuring themselves until they find out that they are attached to a man with a beard
Betsy is ready to pimp me out instead of podcast
Creeped out spending the dough, dirty stripper money
Kris is still eating the same value meal
Men are too fat when they can no longer see penis in shower
Betsy is watching Oprah again, "Launch your own comeback"
Not wearing makeup
Princess Betsy with lipstick
Bird with plumage
Sexy male birds
Stuffing myself with food to not see penis to keep temptations at bay
Penn and Teller
Betsy's reality shows are now overlapping
Ulga's, Pink Cheeks, hair removal
The Girls Next Door, the Playboy show terrible name
The girls went to get waxes
Adult inside jokes in G and PG movies
Robots, "I get the Brazilian because it makes me feel like it is a fiesta everyday."
What happens when 6 year Ginny says that to her teacher?
PBS whoring out it's cartoon characters for cash
Euphemisms for bodily functions
Kris grew up next to the Montezumas
Kris gets the Hamburger Helper Star of the day
Keys, Cell Phone, Jumpdrive in the left pocket
Wallet, money, change in the right pocket
What you don't know about people you marry until they reveal things many years later
Kris won't call for pizza
I do it for organization
Betsy is going to buy me a girdle so I can see junk again
Having an attack
Don't rock my pocket world
Divorce of the pockets
Betsy's cough for lingers from the sore throat
I'll eat it, but food with hair from the animal that it belongs to are way too gross
Eating a chicken wing and flossing at the same time
I try to Betsy kudos for her meal cooking and somehow it goes back to me throwing a man fit of somekind
Buying a can of Ragu from Walgreens
Reasons housewifedom have come to suit Betsy
Cleaning a house with two screaming kids
Short shout outs for the night, Betsy will get crafty with them for Friday
Croncast has the best listeners
Betsy can't tell me about the poverty book anymore
Female donations

Tags: betsy kris croncast pocket feet

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 123

Fri, 16 Sep 2005 11:23:50 -0500

Croncast - 2005-09-16.mp3

Show: #164
Length: 30:25
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 14.0 mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 123

Betsy is tumor free!!! I can't tell you how happy I was this morning after we left Betsy's test and the damage in her ear is not a tumor.

No takers on Handicat- Come on People
Ear Update ABR experience
I do not have ear cancer
Tonight my life as a Bunco high roller begins
As long as I pumped enough bottles
Dave Miller shout out from the wild west days of podcasting
Kris is investigating masters programs
He needs a masters from a brick and mortar joint
See son thats where daddy went to school
George W pic from British news- Bush is a natural disaster
thanks to Alan Scullion
Carnivale is really cancelled unfortunately
1024 dog home alone to fend for self news at 11
predatory solicitation from the eastern block

Hope everyone is doing well- Want a shout out- email me at we will add it to the show and show notes
Dont forget to out my ebay crap on thesmithmall
Who can't use more crap?

Tags: betsy ear croncast kris crap

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 120

Fri, 09 Sep 2005 06:08:08 -0500

Croncast - 2005-09-09.mp3

Show: #161
Length: 32:51
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 15.1 mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 120

Send Betsy's email to thesmithmall[at]hotmail.com
Handi-Cat
The shitzu dog malfunctions - drainage
Kris wears his socks for 3 days and they smell?
Betsy tells the man she is in charge
Kris needs a posse of five year olds to tell him he's fly
We're getting divorced when we retire and Betsy is getting thin and dating, I will be making love with some computer device in 2030
Stay Puff chubby people
Elliot's school kindergarten parental hangout
Betsy is down on the man
Why credit doesnt' work for us
"Is it just me?" Nope.

Tags: betsy kris croncast husband getting