thetrip | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

About Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

Mon, 01 Jan 2007 12:30:42 -0600

Once cool, Kris and Betsy are now living on a cul de sac and breeding. This is not your typical husband and wife podcast. Betsy should really be on the road making mad cash but that would interfere with breastfeeding.

A bit more:
We've been podcasting since November 8th, 2004
We release podcasts every Mon - Wed - Fri by 3:00 P.M. CST
You could listen one show every weekday for 1 year and 2 months without repeat
- 480+ podcasts
- Average podcast length 32 minutes
- Total length played end to end - 256+ hours (as of 04/14/08)

Check out the show archive page to download past shows.

New to the show?
Try listener favorites from the Vacation Series, Acts 1, 2, 3 and 4. Though it is over a year old you might also try "Croncast - We're Coming Over ". It's a 79 min. best of our first year selected from over 100 hours of Croncasts since Nov '04.

Subscribe with iTunes:

RSS Feed: http://www.croncast.com/all.rss
Shows, news, blog all in one

Tags: Kris Smith Betsy Smith Croncast Funniest Podcast Best Talk Podcast

Vacation: Act #4 Home Sweet Home

Mon, 19 Jun 2006 06:56:17 -0500

Croncast - 2006-06-19.mp3

Show: #238
Length: 49:20
Size: 33.9 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris June 19, 2006

Act #4 is the wrap up. Our declaration of our new found love with home and our love affairs with the benign lives that have come to repeat everday. Betsy will garage sale, go to Goodwill and I will hide out in the basement.

Show notes a bit later.

Until then feel free to prepare your entry into our "My vavaction sucked too!" contest. How do I enter, Kris? Click the image below to find out more.

Tags: John Elway Dodge Denver Naperville Slowsky Rick Klau thetrip

Frick's Slowsky vacation infographic

Sat, 17 Jun 2006 11:56:44 -0500

Well, it is simple. Frick has sent us a very impressive infographic from our vacation series. I need not do any more explaining.

Thanks, Frick! This is awesome.

Tags: Frick Slowsky infographic vacation John Elway Dodge Arapahoe

Contest: My Vacation Sucked Too! (Prize is iPod)

Fri, 16 Jun 2006 17:07:26 -0500

My Vacation Sucked Too!

We know that you have gone on a vacation or two that have turned out to suck. And in many cases sucked worse than the one that we just shared in three separate acts. That is why we are having another contest!

To enter all you have to do is tell Betsy and me about it. Then after one week of submissions ending at 11:59 p.m. on Friday June 23, 2006 we will pick a winner for the Black 30gb iPod. Send your submissions to vacation@croncast.com.

We will read the submissions throughout the week on the show, part of the deal is that you are giving us persmission to read them so if you need to change some names do it before you send it, and we'll pick the winner. Laughs are the key winning.

There are only two rules in this one:

1) Don't make us cry.
2) Don't tell us anything that will have to be reported to the feds.

We will announce the winner during the podcast on Monday June 26, 2006.

Good luck and don't hold back. You know that you want to share. And secretly you know that you want Betsy to make fun of you too.

Tags: contest John Elway Dodge vacation ipod autonation

Vacation: Act #3 Denver to Naperville

Fri, 16 Jun 2006 05:27:35 -0500

Croncast - 2006-06-16.mp3

Show: #237
Length: 1:28:43
Size: 60.9 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris June 16, 2006

Act #3 is the longest single Croncast we have ever recorded. Every minute is necessary as we explain that this episode definitely isn't something you want to listen to with your kids around.

Why is that? We take you from Denver to Naperville in only 1 hour 23 minutes when it took us 18 hours straight. Which takes some heavy lifting and many,many four letter words.

Show notes will arrive at a later date.I am still trying to process this part of the vacation and reliving it again isn't something that I am looking foward too.

More will follow about the contest for the 30GB iPod also. For now you will have to listen to the show. Enjoy!.

Coming up on Monday . . . Vacation: Act #4 The Aftermath

Tags: John Elway Dodge Denver Naperville Slowsky Red Lion Hotel thetrip

Vacation: Act #2 Omaha to Denver

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 09:12:25 -0500

Croncast - 2006-06-14.mp3

Show: #236
Length: 1:02:26
Size: 42.8 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris June 14, 2006

Act #2 is twice the length of our normal shows, but just like our trip we keep pushing through to make the Friday deadline for a full Act #3. That way we won't ever have to talk about this trip again.

So buckle up compadres as we take you on day 2,3 and the close of day 4 as we go from Omaha to Kearney, NE (we love Kearney, Midway Dodge and Thomas Hardage) to Denver.

So where were we?
Oh yeah Omaha
Go back to Monday, Act #1 if you haven't listened yet
We don't have time to reflect up it
Awake after 5 hours of deep sleep . . . yeah right
Epiphany for Kris, he figures out what the problem is with Slowsky
It appears that the gas peddle can't reach the floor or is being stopped
Handling dirty carpet
Slowsky is accelerating awesome
Up I-680 no problem up a hill
Air conditioning still blowing out the defrost vent
We hit fourth gear and Slowsky bogs down
You looked like someone had hit you in the crotch really hard
Did we stop or turn around in Omaha?Nope
I was gonna pull the oxen through and over the Rockies
Common sense would have turned us around
Betsy asks the cashier at a truck stop about our issues cause they should know
Our game plan becomes eat only at McDonald's and get to Denver
Stopping for gas over and over and over
Rolling at 60 pushing Slowsky to the breaking point
Betsy says cars are loaded weapons
I drove slowsky like a retired polo pony
Once AAA was taken care of it was on, drive it like I stole it
My foot is to the floor burning up the car
Slowsky's cry for help . . . check engine light flashes and then dims
Nebraska is the windiest state

Drafting with semi trucks because I can't go over 65
Speed limit is 75 which means 85 for all
People in Nebraska know there is nothing worth driving slow for
I still have no respect for the slow driver
The oil pressure gauge was nearly in the red
The van may explode at anytime
All the fun of a road trip and fantasies about stopping and eating the natives food, gone
No tourist traps for Slowsky
35 miles to the next exit
The arch over I-80 is where the Check Engine Light stays on

Hilly Iowa, not the hilly Nebraska
Calming the kids to soothe the hunching Kris
We get lucky and find Kearney, NE
Even luckier we find Midway Dodge of Kearney

Right next door was Enterprise
We meet Thomas Hardage, the only person not to let us down on this trip
It's 11:30 am and they close and 12:00 pm
He was a Slowsky prophet
he let us know that he 5 hour drive would take us 8 to 9 hours to Denver
There's Enterprise, we should leave car for repair
Kris says, "no" we're going to Denver and Betsy agrees
Help was put in our path and we tell it to fuck off
There was no charge to look at our car
You should not drive off into the great beyond in your broke ass van
"In Denver it will be really expensive", we pass again
Back on the road, 55 mph tops
Kris tries to make it go 56 entire way to Denver
We followed the same truck for about 300 miles

I-76 West down to Denver off of I-80

We are gaining control
We can see mountains
Now we are back to the itinerary, Yes!
Two straight days in a van
I will tell you when you can go to the bathroom
Telling Betsy over and over that we should have flown and what we would have been doing
From now on we fly, first class if we can afford it, 2-3 days at destination, rental car waiting and fly out on day 3
Coming in on the wrong side of Denver
Car collecting seems to be a hobby in Colorado
Hotel has Denver in name but it surely isn't in Denver
Slowsky is now down to 50 mph tops
But we've made it to Denver now
We're still in control . . . sort of
Slowsky was making death nells
Right near our hotel exit there is a Dodge dealer, John Elway Dodge on Arapahoe
The ultimate welcome to Denver . . . an arrest in our hotel parking lot

Navy wife-beater doesn't go with blond chest hair
Doesn't matter how nice a hotel is an arrest in parking lot harshes the mellow
We hit the hotel, 6th floor
18 giggling 12 year old girls right next to our room
Awesome birrthday for her
They were playnig door slamming game, Kris says no
Elliot loses his mind when we return to front desk to get another room
It is time to eat
I was bleeding money our of my eyeballs, really, dollar bills
Should have tossed one of the party girls over the balcony
Big wedding reception at the hotel, but no one was staying there, not one
The restaurant is out of highchairs, all in use for reception
It was time to start crying
We couldn't catch a break
One lone patron was going to hear our woes
What restaurants are near here?
We make it to Outback
Nothing goes wrong so Kris hugs the waitress
Elliot gorges himself, turns grey and runs to bathroom to puke
He has same gene that Betsy and I have where we eat to comfort ourselves
Where's that cereal? Do we have milk?
Needs to feel good in my belly
How sad is our happiness an Outback? We could have done this at home!!!!!!!
Research will take up whole half a work day
Talk begins about putting the family on a plane
Betsy understands her father's actions now from when he did it when she was a kid
It was time to stop the madness
We arrange for a rental car from Enterprise
Only place to do so is at Denver International Airport on Sunday
Shuttle is $20 but you need an appointment, what?
Concierge calls taxi for me and off I go
Denver knows nothing of urban sprawl
There could be free range beef within city limits
I tell cabbie DIA
The airport was 29 miles from our hotel
Ride to Ohare will take $28 bones of my money in a cab
Cabbie asks for $65 dollars for the ride!!! WTF

More notes and photos later. To get the rest of this you'll have to listen to the show for now. It is really hard to keep reliving this.

But I can't leave out the Act #2 cliff hanger . . . John Elway Dodge doesn't call us, we call them to hear, "Mam, the service manager didn't call you? Well, there's a problem with your vehicle. You see, one of our lot attendants . . . "

Coming up on Friday . . . Vacation: Act #3 Denver to Naperville

Update: These photos are from our 3 hours in Colorado Springs at Garden of the Gods and someplace in the downtown area. Family photo credited to guy I thought was homeless but turned out to be one of the dudes who just hang out to watch people go by.

Tags: Kearney Denver John Elway Dodge Arapahoe Slowsky Midway Dodge thetrip

Vacation: Act #1 Naperville to Omaha

Mon, 12 Jun 2006 05:59:32 -0500

Croncast - 2006-06-12.mp3

Show: #235
Length: 37:05
Size: 25.4 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris June 12, 2006

Thus begins our sharing of a vacation that ended 5 days early. We are not quite sure that our big summer vacaction driving to Denver in Slowsky was really a vacation. But we are sure that we will never drive anywhere on vacation again.

What we can say about our trip is that with the help of many lucid memories and five days to regain our footing on solid ground that we would like to bring your our trip in three separate podcasts. There is too much to share in a single 30 to 40 minute podcast that deserves great attention to detail.

What do you call a thousand mile trip in you wife's savings account? If you're us, show prep.

The long, feel good intro
Sending email easy like
When we last left you it was June 2 of 2006 a millenia ago
Things were much simpler then
H.G. Wells Time machine could take us back
Walking hand in hand with your spuse at the beach
I would have liked to have decided not to go on vacation
We should have flown
Short version, we leave, there's trouble and we come home five days early
Here we go
We're going to rcap the whole thing in 3 shows
It is June 2, 2006 in nice and sunny Naperville, IL
Kris is an hour late and damned Skype showed it to Betsy
Moments of our life are really important to you
Betsy pretends that she is me on Skype sometimes
The planets seemed to be aligned for our trip
The eBay pick-up guy got here right on time
Naperville was going to be hardest part with traffic
Driving Slowsky is like launching a boat
An hour and a half later w'ere making 8 miles of progress
The van is too tall for most drive thru awnings
Slowsky went to the dealer and got $1500 of repairs to travel worldwide
This is the point where you start adding up the costs
Gas doesn't count as vehicle maintenance
We finally make it to I-88
Slowsky is topping out at 70 mph with nothing more to give
First omen . . . we ignore it
We're gonna make it to Omaha
It wasn't a shifting issue but I am pushing Slowsky really hard
We get near DeKalb which is 50 miles from home and think about turning it around again
We push on
Betsy says "no" to my lead foot and thinks the 70 mph thing is good Slowsky is sucking gas and needs refill at 180 mile mark, still in Illinois Another omen Kris starts venting that we should have flown at gas station number two
"I drove the Alaskan Highway and need a new car."
All the signs were there
It was our decision to keep moving on
Not true to Betsy's faith
Dinner at The World's Largest Truck Stop on I-80
Maybe it is safe because it's a tourist trap
Nope, it's a 3-D world of a sex offender registry
All just minor inconveniences at this point
Bleeding money out of my eye balls
10 years ago this would have been an adventure but with kids it is a nightmare
In Iowa they drive on the grass
Not a single room vacant
Pulling off on Omaha hoping for an empty hotel room
Scoring a room 20 miles north of downtown
10,000 lesbians converged on Omaha the same day as our vacation, of course

Coming up on Wednesday . . . Vacation: Act #2 Omaha to Denver

Tags: vacation Denver John Elway Dodge Naperville Omaha Slowsky thetrip