trade | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

Betsy and her husband Kris May 16, 2007

Wed, 16 May 2007 07:25:07 -0500

Croncast - 2007-05-16.mp3
Show: #363
Length: 26:52
Size: 18.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris May 16, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

Betsy is in selling mode and looking around all crazy
Even my Wheat Crisps from Trader Joe's is looking marketable
Elliot's got his IEP (some mumbo jumbo for meeting about your child) today
We're dropping Gigi off at her sisters so we can be childless and focus
Flyers under the shield at Wal-Mart for illegal slaughter house
Not since becoming a suburbanite have I seen a huge plunky dunky goat
They got the crazy eyes
Sitting there licking it's cloven hooves
"Moma, pet"
When goats attack
Oh, my god you have to call 911
There's a goat in front yard!
It's unusual, but a goat in your yard is an emergency
The goat hunkered down behind the cozy coupe
Could be injured and vicious
The goat had to come from the crazy farm on 87th
I'm putting goats on my front lawn
And next to that RV parking for off season parking
I'm ok with it
More people being held at Gitmo than the town I grew up in
Yeah, you are crazy Betsy
Here's the part that makes you crazy
Elliot's IEP . . . Betsy starts telling the goat story
"Guess what I saw this morning . . . a GOAT!"
We were there for 45 minutes and you told the goat story 4 times!
Elliot's special education teacher even got the goat story
In the meeting with 5 teachers she busts it out again
In the meantime Vickie's got 3 kids and a goat in her yard
It could have had babies
It could have had sex with a golden retriever and made gorievers
Animal control shows up and says it belongs to the farm
They said, "Stand back. Goats are dangerous."
I may go and apply for it, Kris
We could do a freelance goat retrieval business
I want a uniform with a patch
They wander the forest preserve
Evidently the goats freak if they hit the pavement
They go "bo honky" . . . coined by Betsy
All the neighborhood kids show up to watch
Can you imagine having a baby in you with horns?
Duct tape that fence together
"You may want to cover the children's eyes"
What did you say to Maggie?
She can't say 'goat' so she was saying 'doat'
Where's the 'doat'?
Now the environmental clean up company needs to come back and clean up pooh
The hobby farm guy doesn't want to come and get his goat
Betsy won't let me have the drink I ordered
Thanks for the call Dave about tickets for the live event . . . The Comedy Shrine will not be selling tickets for the event it is up to us to get it set up. We will have something ready by next Monday and let you know!

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Tags: escaped goat goriever cloven hooves The Comedy Shrine IEP

Betsy and her husband Kris May 14, 2007

Mon, 14 May 2007 06:47:11 -0500

Croncast - 2007-05-14.mp3
Show: #362
Length: 11:51
Size: 8.15mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris May 14, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

Hey triscadecaphobes we recorded on the 13th and see what happens
And it was monther's day
You know how I feel about my mom
She was sending messages out to the universe
Betsy was bailing on us anyway two weeks ago
When can I do things like a normal adult?
Baby, you are already doing what all adults our age do . . . drinking and partying is for the other set
"I have a 6 1/2 year old and a 2 year old"
You say that stuff and I feel like "danger dad"
Taking my children to the brink of death
You fed the kids chicken
Tofu vs. chicken
Kris isn't eating any red meat
Chicken has found it's way in to my diet with kids
More reason to not eat the chicken than to eat the chicken
All shopping this week done at Trader Joe's
Maggie isn't going to let us do much of the show
She starts fidgeting
With every test Betsy takes she procrastinates
What did you score on your LSAT? A 3?
When was normal for you Booba?
You have lived nearly 500f your live since you took college tests!
Maggie says, "Daddoo bye bye," to the spider that was by my computer earlier in the day
Living creature, yada yada
The spiders love the sound foam
It's not a mistake it makes the show sound better
Bears, the show is terrible
Nurse and floss
More milk
We can't keep doing this Maggie isn't going to fall asleep
She says bye bye
All women have a little of Betsy in them, Betsy has a whole lot of Betsy in her

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Tags: Triscadecaphobes Mother's day podcast croncast day LSAT not in front of the baby

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr 23, 2007

Mon, 23 Apr 2007 07:12:12 -0500

Croncast - 2007-04-23.mp3
Show: #353
Length: 30:08
Size: 20.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris April 23, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks Kelly C.

This is a production of Palegroove Studios
You are the Junque Queen
They are investments Mr. B
You are pathological baby
Back when you took part in the plan
Watched the man
I am, I spent the entire day with the kids today
It has to do with the desire for you to part with your junk
How many times have you shopped alone?
Walking in to Goodwill and not knowing what you are going to find
I don't need another stuffed animal
That isn't what I said psycho-pants
Betsy forgets that she just told me something else
I'm fat because of you
You're going to be down here in a wife beater and a jogging bra Mr. B
Kris mowed the yard for the first time in two years
Turning dog poop in to confetti
Kris wore sandals to pick up Elliot and his feet were reflecting light
Last year you were a crazy workaholic
You took this new job to work less and it ain't so
When you turn over rocks that stuff doesn't look good
Mr. B you are the stuff under the rock
It's a problem because I say it is . . . you got to get out of the basement
It will be funny till you get diagnosed
Kris is going to Boulder on Tuesday
When I leave the house I go far away . . . it makes up for not going anywhere
Reference back to Jeanie's pee bomb story from her driving days
My work now is not like it was before
Closing up shop at the end of the day
I have to be there and if I'm not they think I'm not working
Kristopher! If they ping you at 2 am you would ping them right back
I love my phone
What they really want to hear about is my excellent weekend
The holidays don't mean a thing in junk . . . the first nice weekend it the best ever
Betsy needs all the karma trades she can get
Outside the donations box are two strollers
The "if you are a patriot you will donate something for retarded children box"
Betsy rationalizes and does the deed
- This is a great story -
Picking Elliot up from church on Earth Day
The wizard jedi master knight pope the 4th is there is his hooded wizard clothes
Don't you lock eyes with people and think this person is just like me
I don't want the hooded people at all
Don't twist my robe, I'll put a spell on you
Both the kids fit in to church
Gigi is a humanist and Elliot is way into it
The doll house wrap up
Thanks to Nicole Simon for the heads up on the broken feed

We are going to do a live show here in Naperville . . . hopefully in July. We'd like to get about 40 people to come out so we can have the joint for about 2 hours. That means you need to get your friends to come out too. Let us know if you can swing it.

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Tags: Palegroove Studios donation boxes Nicole Simon junque queen psycho pants peg perego

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 20, 2006

Fri, 20 Oct 2006 06:32:38 -0500

Croncast - 2006-10-20.mp3

Show: #287
Length: 33:03
Size: 22.7 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris October 20, 2006

Betsy decides to start shipping while the show begins
Then wants to divert attention
You don't want to talk about the naked camel in the desert?
I want to talk about the email
Betsy says, it is a surprise that we don't get hate mail everyday
The shipping continues
Sign up for the contest and then send hate mail . . . nice
Now you're a Puffy Cuffs
If it is really bothering you that much
"If you're engaged to a geek - break it off," Betsy
Saving driving directions to my phone instead of printing them out
The tape sound again . . . it is the sound of my life
The sound of my eternity
Postal priority mail tape
They quit making it
What am I going to use to wrap Christmas gifts
Betsy says she has big news
Betsy is going to hang with a fan tomorrow . . . Abbi Z.
Kinda gonna be in the area
Betsy is wired and over-thinking it
Betsy screwed up chocolate chip cookies
Not so sweet cookies
Abbi will eat them and smile
That's why we do it baby for the fans
Got rid of Slowsky
Better phrasing, "Off to the auction like a fat pig"
The Slowsky lowdown
Sister turned it down and now Betsy uses it for a trade on a car for her sister
If you can't sell something to Kris you should be fired
We got it good right now
Betsy, "I know you live like that. My darling the rapper."
The QVC clothes smell like old people
They pump the bags full of the odor
Too chubby to put a leg forward
Quality Value Convenience you need to shop it too
Compression garment for the abdominally blessed
Betsy hits a new low - recording QVC to DVR for later viewing
No high waist jeans at the store but Goodwill got'em
We're off to Boulder tonight
Maggie, Betsy and Kris are off that is the man will rock it out with grandma
The irony? Back to Colorado
Slowsky is worth more in pieces than as a whole
Zeus is getting fixed next week
Not just hate mail, only one, and many great emails and comments yesterday

1) Fill out the appropriate form for you - *New* Listener or Get a Handle (current listener)
2) Verify your email address (Activates and qualifies those with a "Handle")
3) *New* listeners get activated and qualified by using their special RSS feed
4) 300th new listener and the person whose Handle they use win iPods AND
5) A drawing for 2 more iPods from everyone who entered!

Tags: Slowsky Goodwill pants QVC clothes Boulder priority mail tape

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 18, 2006

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 07:27:59 -0500

Croncast - 2006-10-18.mp3

Show: #286
Length: 29:54
Size: 20.5 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris October 18, 2006

Bobble heads for intro
I need more work
It's hard out there for a B
Being so hard on a B
What is the deal with Slowsky?
Should we trade it in . . . nope
Now Slowsky sits on the driveway
Slowsky is like a 8000 lb green lawn flamingo
Searching for the good karma
Smartly - is it a word
It was a good gesture and a valid option
Slowsky is a heapster
Skepticism whether it will last the week or not
Betsy is going to use it as a trade for her sister
Going for good grandma karma
Slowsky is in "Fair" condition according to Kelly Blue Book
They say Slowsky is a$2600 trade! Yeah right
Betsy getting it on in bill land
Stretching her fashion dollar
I swear I don't know what has been happening in our lives
Betsy is now shopping on QVC for clothes . . . what happened to us?
She's only 30, damn
Is it teacher wear?
Kris turns into Puffy Cuffs for a shopping smack down
Nothing is gonna match . . . wait it all comes on a hanger like a Gobot outfit
There is something that is happening that I don't understand
Spinning and crushed under the weight of a spinning black blob
An entire QVC universe
Betsy's other former old lady addictions and other diversions
Bingo with the blue hairs
Best place on earth, you can chain smoke, drink and smoke
"I knew I was out of my target age range when I saw the hypodermic holder on the wall in the bathroom"
Getting the old lady car
We expressed ourselves in the mid 90's and now we seem to be back living it again
The V70 looks like the old mid 80's Volvo wagon
Cute Swedish men in jump suits show up
Read her new post at Resale Queen
What is the age difference
The eBay lots that sit in front me off
Being cut off by a Prius (all Prius's except Mike's)
Volvo versus vulva

Tags: Slowsky QVC Volvo V70 Puffy Cuffs Gobot

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 28, 2006

Mon, 28 Aug 2006 06:31:08 -0500

Croncast - 2006-08-28.mp3

Show: #268
Length: 34:22
Size: 23.6 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris August 28, 2006

Oh there is a new sound in town
Betsy is grumping about having to breath
The light glaring off your head is burning my retinas and making me sleepy
The evolution in razors
You would have been a wooly monster
The terminal point of beard growing
I don't know my terminal length
The fifth blade removes the top layer of skin
The worst mother dig of all time from Betsy
Lips doth did part
Today has been a crazy day
I told the man it was a weird day
Kris missed saving a family of 4 that drove into a lake somehow
It is a fake lake to supply a subdivision waterfall
Kris sort of saw it happen
With CopmUSA closing I was preoccupied
I hear the sounds from the accident and agray flash through the neighbors houses
I was looking the wrong way when we drove by, didn't think of the lake
Well, I didn't hear them screaming . . . they were drowning
As they are gasping their lasts breaths pressed against the window
Betsy says I'm cold
Kris did save the family
When homeless get a Costco card to eat samples to sustain
Betys goes off and buys $30 in steaks
Usually it is mad cow in a tube
So Barb adds the seasoning, turns on grill, to clean it turns it on high and then has a martini
Grill is now set to high
20 minutes goes by and she heads out to put steaks
Opens the door and uses panic voice
"You have to tell Kris to come right away . . . well, theres a fire. Thank you," then closes the door
Betsy rouses me from the basement with the work "Fire"
Stay in the basement because it's safe even though there is a fire
The Goodwill grill is now in full flame burning off all the grease from the trap
The charred chunky collector flaming and the top are ball of flames and black smoke
Kris asks for the baking soda
I asked for fire extinguisher right now . . . Betsy threw it out
Betsy says it didn't look good and didn't match
Any fire extinguisher is better than none
Betsy hands me the Morton Salt instead of the Trader Joe's sea salt grinder
Saved by neighbor Jack and his fire extinguisher
As soon as hose melts to tank I am going to die in an explosion
With 911 on call waiting my mother-in-law clicks over to Vicky
He saved our house . . . he saved Croncast
Betsy finally finds our extinguisher in the garage
Finally doused it in water to cool it down to turn off the gas
The grill cleaned up ok but I don't think we'll ever use it again
Then Kris was swarmed by bees
It will go straight to my brain
Betsy gets in more about her steaks
If I had saved other family I still would be filling out reports and my family would have died
Message to you: Go out and buy some fire extinguishers to keep at home.
We talk about the end of our week last . . . podcasting production
The stress level has gone way down thanks to Palegroove the cause of the stress
Wanting podcast contracts to happen
It is a really big project that will be a ton of fun
Writing down your goals can make a huge difference in your life
Many people think podcasts cost $100 to produce . . . not even close with your own equipment
Kris is speaking at the Portable Media Expo and then I'll fill in the podcasting bits
3 Croncast T's are on the table for production
PhilipZ is holding it down with Handle Moxie

Tags: Goodwill grill Costco meat Portable Media Expo fire extinguisher

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 24, 2006

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 07:06:20 -0500

Croncast - 2006-07-24.mp3

Show: #253
Length: 35:30
Size: 24.3 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris July 24, 2006

Vickie, Betsy's sister for the new listeners, finally went into 'real' labor last night at 3 a.m.. She was staying here so most of the family is at the hospital except for me, Elliot and Gigi. Being on baby patrol makes it kind of hard to put up a post. The show notes are coming.

Betsy and I are fighting, best friend style
She wants me to move out and take my stuff
I want to take an iron ans steam her to death
Kris is up in Betsy's business
Her eBay finances are a mess
Kris doesn't like being bossed
Betsy agreed to send email to potential clients . . . nothing . . . phone call . . . nope
They get crazy when they see you on the phone
I don't need Betsy as a corporate rep
Where is all of Betsy's eBay money going?
We talked about it today
Betsy made $900 this week and is -$30
Say what!?!?
She tells me why this is better than putting it on credit
She wants me to apologize
Betsy comes to her senses and says, "Kris, you have a small point."
She hands over her Pay Pal card to me so she can't spend
Lifestyle of the rich and Slowsky
Slowsky is a thirsty bitch!
Higher gas prices, higher fill-up in Slowsky thanks to WW III
Worse gas mileage than a hummer
The Gucci cash is all gone
Functioning out of a hole
She says she is going to purge most of her eBay horde
Stipulation on the card is giving Betsy cash in small amounts
Betsy is no longer CFO of Palegroove since she is handing over her personal financial reigns to me
Just wash my Legos
Cleaning Betsy's junk with Magic Erasers
Kris feels violated, Betsy wants to push me up the corporate ladder with a golf club hanging out of my behind
Kris took a gold lesson, Natural Golf, thanks to Henry for hook-up
Knowing you . . . where are the golf clubs?
It would be better to have a $900 gold club
I still can say I have never officially played golf
Turns out I am really good at hitting the ball straight
The Natrual Golf way worked for me
Test question . . . "Do you like George Bush now?"
Betsy goes on a socialworker rant
How many poor people spend $300 going to Yellow Stone from their McDonalds job?
Betsy says she has realized her calling
Trader Joes is that calling, they are her people
Finding Wooly the Watermellon for candy
If I leave Vickie will crown
Betsy gave me persmission to attend the Jaguar 2007 XK test drive event
I drove a black coupe (see pics below)
Thanks to Laura and John for their help
I recorded most of the day
The car is in my blood
"I don't give a rat's ass. I am not getting anything out of your blood."
Driving the XK took me way back to my dad's speed fetish
I shouldn't have been looking at that man like that
I could cheat on my wife. That takes too much effort . . . I'll buy a Jaguar XK
It is a mid-life crisis car not a car for a 32 year man
We'll have nothing left to show for podcasting work but a bankruptcy and a hot car

Some pics from my weekend fun.

Tags: Jaguar XK 2007 XK Palegroove golf Pay Pal Magic Eraser Kris Smith

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 19, 2006

Wed, 19 Jul 2006 06:53:39 -0500

Croncast - 2006-07-19.mp3

Show: #251
Length: 38:20
Size: 26.3 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris July 19, 2006

A stellar week for comments on the website
Kris feels mushy inside
Betsy loves getting email
More is arriving than we can respond to
Croncast comes to you from the #2 place to live in America - Naperville, IL according to CNN Money Magazine
Naperville always ranks high . . . top 3 for last 5 years
Beaten by Ft. Colins, Colorado
John Elway has it out for us
What is hodling us back
So what makes Naperville so great?
Family type stuff to do . . . plenty
People who live near here say, "I live in Naperville."
The combination of a kick ass Goodwill and community
Park district services
Naper haters
Great city planning
The cops are hidden
More green space than anything else in Naperville
"People in Naperville are snobs" . . . we don't buy it. Live here and see if you like it.
There are other suburbs that are very shwank
Naperville is a big place
If you don't understand the Colorado beef check out the vacation shows
So Mr. B what car did you get?
"I can't think of any other word than pretentious."
Qualifying the price of the car
People need to find out how much stuff costs before they assume
Frick had some great choices
Betsy thinks I would make a great shriner

I traded this . . .

For this.

You probably didn't see this coming
The entire qualifying of the Jaguar purchase
It started wanting a new stereo for my Scion xB
Chose the Scion release xB 3.0
Then I decided that I needed some daddy cred
Took a look for Volvos
Couldn't afford the new S40
We could buy a fleet of Slowsky's
Didn't have any used, but they had a 2004 'new to me' car
$6000 under Kelly Blue Book
The Jaguar is Betsy's dream car
"Did you buy the car for me? NO. You asshole you drive my dream car away every day."
Elliot sitting on a couch pillow.
Some of you may be already hating me
"A Hummer is a reason to hate someone," Betsy
Listed online for $18,915 and I got an even better deal
It has warranty still and is in unbelievable condition
It's a hot car
No way your sisters water should break in my car
Betsy with the neighborhood gossip

Tags: Naperville Goodwill Jaguar X-type 3.0 maguar CNN

New (to me) car speculation

Tue, 18 Jul 2006 06:57:20 -0500

I got an email with a guess about what car I traded my Scion xB (below) for. The first guess from Eric O. was a Honda Element (even more below).

Eric said he could see me driving the Element. I think it is a great looking car but we'll see . . .

Did I trade this . . .

For this?

What do you see me driving instead of the Scion?

Update: See the correct answer

Tags: Scion xB new car trade Honda Element Honda

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 17, 2006

Mon, 17 Jul 2006 06:56:38 -0500

Croncast - 2006-07-17.mp3

Show: #250
Length: 42:35
Size: 29.2 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris July 17, 2006

The foam stays! I didn't think that it would improve the show sound that much. I was wrong. I am in love with foam.

Betsy calls me the foam king
God this looks messed up
I expected foam like an egg carton
It looks like asphalt shingles in Aztec patterns on the wall
Inca ruin aerial view
They are here to absorp all the sounds
When you die I am going to put your picture in the center and flowers in the foam
The purse selling for $249 was a fluke
It never goes this way
Maggie is chillin' with us tonight she has had a really messed up weekend
Daddy baby sitting while sister-in-law in labor at hospital is bad
Betsy whould fire a baby sitter who left a mess like mine
The hospital where Booba took her siter for birthin'
Grubby 19 year olds not putting pregnant lady in wheel chair
Calling them in to the other people
SHE STILL HASN'T HAD THE BABY!
Vacation baseline
Betsy gives update as to neighbor house sitting
It is time, after long deliberation, Betsy says to put Muffin to sleep
The Muffin conversation continues
Podcast Awards, I forgot but some peopl nominated us
Not sure if that was enough
If her water broke in Kris's car . . . let's say I traded in my Scion xB . . . and I'll tel you what it is on Wednesday

Tags: Muffin car Scion xB baby sister-in-law Podcast Awards