vehicle | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac Kris and Betsy Smith http://www.croncast.com This is the keyword feed for vehicle. Once cool, Kris and Betsy are now living on a cul de sac and breeding. Betsy really should be on the road making mad cash but that would interfere with breastfeeding. Podcasting for Download every M-W-F by 3:00 P.M. CST. en-us Palegroove Studios 2004-2008 No Croncast, Kris, Betsy, Comedy, Parenting, Funny, Palegroove, Croncast, eBay, Goodwill This is the keyword feed for vehicle. Once cool, Kris and Betsy are now living on a cul de sac and breeding. Betsy really should be on the road making mad cash but that would interfere with breastfeeding. Podcasting for Download every M-W-F by 3:00 P.M. CST. This is the keyword feed for vehicle. Once cool, Kris and Betsy are now living on a cul de sac and breeding. Betsy really should be on the road making mad cash but that would interfere with breastfeeding. Podcasting for Download every M-W-F by 3:00 P.M. CST. http://www.croncast.com/images/croncast_itunes.jpg vehicle | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac http://www.croncast.com This is the keyword feed for vehicle. Once cool, Kris and Betsy are now living on a cul de sac and breeding. Betsy really should be on the road making mad cash but that would interfere with breastfeeding. Podcasting for Download every M-W-F by 3:00 P.M. CST. Croncast - Kris and Betsy Smith info@palegroove.com http://www.croncast.com Palegroove simple geometry http://www.croncast.com/rssk/1770/simple-geometry_design_simple.php Blog simple geometry

i am a sucker for basic shapes and simple design.

good art and design, in my eyes: conveys its message as if it were on the side of a semi-truck (three colors max) or covering a municipal vehicle.



Tags: design simple colors truck semi ]]>simple geometry

i am a sucker for basic shapes and simple design.

good art and design, in my eyes: conveys its message as if it were on the side of a semi-truck (three colors max) or covering a municipal vehicle.



Tags: design simple colors truck semi ]]> Sun, 25 May 2008 15:00:24 -0500 tag:croncast.com,1770 i am a sucker for basic shapes and simple design. good art and design, in my eyes: conveys its message as if it were on the side of a semi-truck (three colors max) or covering a municipal vehicle. no design, simple, colors, truck, semi Croncast Listener Survey Results http://www.croncast.com/rssk/1641/Croncast-Listener-Survey-Results_Croncast-Survey_Kris-Smith.php Blog
Thanks for sharing!

Update: Likes and Dislikes have been moved to their own post.

Demographics
What is your age?
Answer Responses Ratio
<12 1 1%
18-24 8 4%
25-34 90 42%
35-44 83 39%
45-54 22 10%
55-64 9 4%
Totals 213 100%
What is your gender?
Answer Responses Ratio
Male 118 55%
Female 95 45%
Totals 213 100%
What is the highest level of education you have achieved?
Answer Responses Ratio
Less than high school graduate 3 1%
Graduated high school or received equivalent degree (e.g., GED) 9 4%
Attended college but did not graduate 40 19%
Graduated from 2-year college 23 11%
Graduated from 4-year college 79 37%
Masters Degree 44 21%
Doctoral Degree 10 5%
Other Professional Degree (MD, LLB, etc) 5 2%
Totals 213 100%
Please indicate which best describes the total combined income before taxes of all members of your household.
Answer Responses Ratio
Under $5,000 5 3%
$10,000 - $19,999 5 3%
$20,000 - $29,999 12 6%
$30,000 - $39,999 15 7%
$40,000 - $49,999 12 6%
$50,000 - $59,999 25 12%
$60,000 - $74,999 20 10%
$75,000 - $99,999 32 16%
$100,000 - $149,999 53 26%
$150,000 - $199,999 16 8%
$200,000 or over 9 4%
Totals 204 100%
What is your employment status?
Answer Responses Ratio
Full-time (35 hours or more) 156 73%
Part-time (less than 35 hours) 16 8%
Student 12 6%
Retired 5 2%
Temporarily unemployed 1 1%
Homemaker 19 9%
Other 4 2%
Totals 213 100%
What is your current marital status?
Answer Responses Ratio
Married 146 70%
Single, never married 45 21%
Divorced or Separated 18 9%
Widowed 1 1%
Totals 210 100%
Counting yourself, how many people are currently living in your household?
Answer Responses Ratio
1 24 11%
2 67 32%
3 39 19%
4 54 26%
5 20 10%
6 3 1%
7 1 1%
8 2 1%
Totals 210 100%
How many children under the age of 18 are currently living in your household?
Answer Responses Ratio
None 103 49%
One 38 18%
Two 48 23%
Three 15 7%
Four 3 1%
Five 1 1%
More than Five 1 1%
Totals 209 100%
Which of the following best describes your primary place of residence?
Answer Responses Ratio
I rent the apartment/co-op/condo where I live 35 17%
I rent the house in which I live 21 10%
I own the co-op/condominium where I live 6 3%
I own the house in which I live 137 65%
Other 11 5%
Totals 210 100%
What language is spoken most often in your household?
Answer Responses Ratio
English 203 95%
Spanish 1 1%
German 2 1%
Norwegian 1 1%
Other, Please Specify 7 3%
Totals 214 100%
Purchasing
Have you shopped online in the past 30 days?
Answer Responses Ratio
Yes 194 92%
No 16 8%
Totals 210 100%
How much did you personally spend on internet order items in the last 12 months?
Answer Responses Ratio
Nothing 4 2%
$1-$49 8 4%
$50-$99 13 6%
$100-$199 23 11%
$200-$499 52 25%
$500-$799 35 17%
$800+ 76 36%
Totals 211 100%
How often did you attend the movies in the last 90 days (3 months)?
Answer Responses Ratio
Once a week or more 3 1%
2-3 times a month 21 10%
Once a month 50 24%
Less than once a month 71 34%
I did not attend the movies in the last 90 days 66 31%
Totals 211 100%
When did your household last purchase or lease a vehicle?
Answer Responses Ratio
In the past 12 months 57 27%
1-2 years ago 52 25%
3-4 years ago 54 26%
5 or more years ago 35 17%
My household does not own or lease a vehicle 11 5%
Totals 209 100%
How many credit/debit cards do you own?
Answer Responses Ratio
None 9 4%
1 25 12%
2 62 30%
3 42 21%
4 38 19%
5 11 5%
6 or more 17 8%
Totals 204 100%
How much did you spend for computer software for home use in the past 12 months?
Answer Responses Ratio
Nothing 37 18%
$1 - $99 49 24%
$100 - $199 37 18%
$200 - $299 38 19%
$300 - $499 18 9%
$500 or more 25 12%
Totals 204 100%
Careers
How large is the organization in which you work?
Answer Responses Ratio
Less than 20 employees 28 18%
20 to 99 employees 24 16%
100 to 999 employees 40 26%
1,000+ employees 60 39%
I don't know 2 1%
Totals 154 100%
In which industry does your company primarily operate?
Answer Responses Ratio
Arts/Entertainment/Recreation 6 4%
Banking/Finance/Insurance 12 8%
Business Services 4 3%
Computer Hardware 4 3%
Education 18 12%
Government/Military/Defense 14 9%
Internet 11 7%
IT - Systems Integration 13 9%
Manufacturing 8 5%
Media 4 3%
Medical/Healthcare 14 9%
Professional, Scientific, & Technical Services 7 5%
Real Estate 4 3%
Retail/Distribution/Import/Export 3 2%
Telecommunications 2 1%
Other, Please Specify 29 19%
Totals 153 100%
What is your job title?
Answer Responses Ratio
Chairman/CEO/COO/Partner/President/Owner/Principal 11 7%
EVP/General Manager 1 1%
Vice President 5 3%
Director 8 5%
Manager 38 25%
Staff - non management employee 90 59%
Totals 153 100%
With which of the following job functions are you primarily involved?
Answer Responses Ratio
Arts/Creative/Design 6 3%
Business Development/Strategic Planning 7 4%
Consulting 11 6%
Customer Service 8 4%
Education/Teaching 11 6%
Engineering 1 1%
Executive 4 2%
Finance 7 4%
Healthcare Provider 4 2%
Human Resources 4 2%
IT Services 27 15%
Legal Services 2 1%
Production/Operations 19 11%
Research 5 3%
Sales/Marketing 6 3%
Software Development 2 1%
Technology Support/Help Desk 6 3%
Other, Please Specify 51 28%
Totals 181 100%
Listening Habits
Do you subscribe to the RSS feed for this show?
Answer Responses Ratio
Yes 188 83%
No, I listen to or watch this show without subscribing 39 17%
Totals 227 100%
How many episodes of this online show have you listened to or watched?
Answer Responses Ratio
None (I just saw this link to the survey on the site) 1 0%
2-3 1 0%
4-5 3 1%
6 or more 223 98%
Totals 228 100%
How often do you listen to or watch this show?
Answer Responses Ratio
I always listen to/watch each new episode 211 94%
I sometimes listen to/watch each new episode 11 5%
I rarely listen to/watch each new episode 2 1%
Totals 224 100%
About how much of each show episode do you generally listen to or watch?
Answer Responses Ratio
I always listen to/watch the entire episode 215 96%
Usually at least 75% 10 4%
Totals 225 100%
On average, how many times do you listen to or watch each episode?
Answer Responses Ratio
One time 210 93%
Two times 13 6%
Three times 2 1%
Totals 225 100%
How do you most often listen to this podcast?
Answer Responses Ratio
On my computer 60 29%
On my MP3, iPod or other portable player 141 68%
On my cell phone 2 1%
Other, Please Specify 3 2%
Totals 206 100%
How do you most often listen to or watch this podcast?
Answer Responses Ratio
On an iPod, MP3 player or other portable device with NO Internet capabilites 17 90%
On an iPhone, PSP, cell phone, or other portable device with Internet capabilities while NOT connected to the Internet 1 5%
Other, Please Specify 1 5%
Totals 19 100%
Satisfaction      
Subject Importance Satisfaction Gap
Audio Quality 8.22 9.53 -1.31
Video Quality 3.29 5.43 -2.14
Overall Quality 8.66 9.38 -0.72
Content 9.05 9.10 -0.05
Host(s) 9.32 9.52 -0.20
Reliability (new episodes available when promised) 7.77 9.04 -1.27
Length of episodes 7.07 8.82 -1.75
Frequency of new episodes 7.78 9.02 -1.24
Placement of ads or sponsorships in podcast 4.44 8.25 -3.81
Website design 5.40 7.86 -2.46
Website content 5.77 8.00 -2.23
Overall Satisfaction 9.31


Tags: Croncast Survey Kris Smith Betsy Smith Advertise Cronast Demographics ]]>
Thanks for sharing!

Update: Likes and Dislikes have been moved to their own post.

Demographics
What is your age?
Answer Responses Ratio
<12 1 1%
18-24 8 4%
25-34 90 42%
35-44 83 39%
45-54 22 10%
55-64 9 4%
Totals 213 100%
What is your gender?
Answer Responses Ratio
Male 118 55%
Female 95 45%
Totals 213 100%
What is the highest level of education you have achieved?
Answer Responses Ratio
Less than high school graduate 3 1%
Graduated high school or received equivalent degree (e.g., GED) 9 4%
Attended college but did not graduate 40 19%
Graduated from 2-year college 23 11%
Graduated from 4-year college 79 37%
Masters Degree 44 21%
Doctoral Degree 10 5%
Other Professional Degree (MD, LLB, etc) 5 2%
Totals 213 100%
Please indicate which best describes the total combined income before taxes of all members of your household.
Answer Responses Ratio
Under $5,000 5 3%
$10,000 - $19,999 5 3%
$20,000 - $29,999 12 6%
$30,000 - $39,999 15 7%
$40,000 - $49,999 12 6%
$50,000 - $59,999 25 12%
$60,000 - $74,999 20 10%
$75,000 - $99,999 32 16%
$100,000 - $149,999 53 26%
$150,000 - $199,999 16 8%
$200,000 or over 9 4%
Totals 204 100%
What is your employment status?
Answer Responses Ratio
Full-time (35 hours or more) 156 73%
Part-time (less than 35 hours) 16 8%
Student 12 6%
Retired 5 2%
Temporarily unemployed 1 1%
Homemaker 19 9%
Other 4 2%
Totals 213 100%
What is your current marital status?
Answer Responses Ratio
Married 146 70%
Single, never married 45 21%
Divorced or Separated 18 9%
Widowed 1 1%
Totals 210 100%
Counting yourself, how many people are currently living in your household?
Answer Responses Ratio
1 24 11%
2 67 32%
3 39 19%
4 54 26%
5 20 10%
6 3 1%
7 1 1%
8 2 1%
Totals 210 100%
How many children under the age of 18 are currently living in your household?
Answer Responses Ratio
None 103 49%
One 38 18%
Two 48 23%
Three 15 7%
Four 3 1%
Five 1 1%
More than Five 1 1%
Totals 209 100%
Which of the following best describes your primary place of residence?
Answer Responses Ratio
I rent the apartment/co-op/condo where I live 35 17%
I rent the house in which I live 21 10%
I own the co-op/condominium where I live 6 3%
I own the house in which I live 137 65%
Other 11 5%
Totals 210 100%
What language is spoken most often in your household?
Answer Responses Ratio
English 203 95%
Spanish 1 1%
German 2 1%
Norwegian 1 1%
Other, Please Specify 7 3%
Totals 214 100%
Purchasing
Have you shopped online in the past 30 days?
Answer Responses Ratio
Yes 194 92%
No 16 8%
Totals 210 100%
How much did you personally spend on internet order items in the last 12 months?
Answer Responses Ratio
Nothing 4 2%
$1-$49 8 4%
$50-$99 13 6%
$100-$199 23 11%
$200-$499 52 25%
$500-$799 35 17%
$800+ 76 36%
Totals 211 100%
How often did you attend the movies in the last 90 days (3 months)?
Answer Responses Ratio
Once a week or more 3 1%
2-3 times a month 21 10%
Once a month 50 24%
Less than once a month 71 34%
I did not attend the movies in the last 90 days 66 31%
Totals 211 100%
When did your household last purchase or lease a vehicle?
Answer Responses Ratio
In the past 12 months 57 27%
1-2 years ago 52 25%
3-4 years ago 54 26%
5 or more years ago 35 17%
My household does not own or lease a vehicle 11 5%
Totals 209 100%
How many credit/debit cards do you own?
Answer Responses Ratio
None 9 4%
1 25 12%
2 62 30%
3 42 21%
4 38 19%
5 11 5%
6 or more 17 8%
Totals 204 100%
How much did you spend for computer software for home use in the past 12 months?
Answer Responses Ratio
Nothing 37 18%
$1 - $99 49 24%
$100 - $199 37 18%
$200 - $299 38 19%
$300 - $499 18 9%
$500 or more 25 12%
Totals 204 100%
Careers
How large is the organization in which you work?
Answer Responses Ratio
Less than 20 employees 28 18%
20 to 99 employees 24 16%
100 to 999 employees 40 26%
1,000+ employees 60 39%
I don't know 2 1%
Totals 154 100%
In which industry does your company primarily operate?
Answer Responses Ratio
Arts/Entertainment/Recreation 6 4%
Banking/Finance/Insurance 12 8%
Business Services 4 3%
Computer Hardware 4 3%
Education 18 12%
Government/Military/Defense 14 9%
Internet 11 7%
IT - Systems Integration 13 9%
Manufacturing 8 5%
Media 4 3%
Medical/Healthcare 14 9%
Professional, Scientific, & Technical Services 7 5%
Real Estate 4 3%
Retail/Distribution/Import/Export 3 2%
Telecommunications 2 1%
Other, Please Specify 29 19%
Totals 153 100%
What is your job title?
Answer Responses Ratio
Chairman/CEO/COO/Partner/President/Owner/Principal 11 7%
EVP/General Manager 1 1%
Vice President 5 3%
Director 8 5%
Manager 38 25%
Staff - non management employee 90 59%
Totals 153 100%
With which of the following job functions are you primarily involved?
Answer Responses Ratio
Arts/Creative/Design 6 3%
Business Development/Strategic Planning 7 4%
Consulting 11 6%
Customer Service 8 4%
Education/Teaching 11 6%
Engineering 1 1%
Executive 4 2%
Finance 7 4%
Healthcare Provider 4 2%
Human Resources 4 2%
IT Services 27 15%
Legal Services 2 1%
Production/Operations 19 11%
Research 5 3%
Sales/Marketing 6 3%
Software Development 2 1%
Technology Support/Help Desk 6 3%
Other, Please Specify 51 28%
Totals 181 100%
Listening Habits
Do you subscribe to the RSS feed for this show?
Answer Responses Ratio
Yes 188 83%
No, I listen to or watch this show without subscribing 39 17%
Totals 227 100%
How many episodes of this online show have you listened to or watched?
Answer Responses Ratio
None (I just saw this link to the survey on the site) 1 0%
2-3 1 0%
4-5 3 1%
6 or more 223 98%
Totals 228 100%
How often do you listen to or watch this show?
Answer Responses Ratio
I always listen to/watch each new episode 211 94%
I sometimes listen to/watch each new episode 11 5%
I rarely listen to/watch each new episode 2 1%
Totals 224 100%
About how much of each show episode do you generally listen to or watch?
Answer Responses Ratio
I always listen to/watch the entire episode 215 96%
Usually at least 75% 10 4%
Totals 225 100%
On average, how many times do you listen to or watch each episode?
Answer Responses Ratio
One time 210 93%
Two times 13 6%
Three times 2 1%
Totals 225 100%
How do you most often listen to this podcast?
Answer Responses Ratio
On my computer 60 29%
On my MP3, iPod or other portable player 141 68%
On my cell phone 2 1%
Other, Please Specify 3 2%
Totals 206 100%
How do you most often listen to or watch this podcast?
Answer Responses Ratio
On an iPod, MP3 player or other portable device with NO Internet capabilites 17 90%
On an iPhone, PSP, cell phone, or other portable device with Internet capabilities while NOT connected to the Internet 1 5%
Other, Please Specify 1 5%
Totals 19 100%
Satisfaction      
Subject Importance Satisfaction Gap
Audio Quality 8.22 9.53 -1.31
Video Quality 3.29 5.43 -2.14
Overall Quality 8.66 9.38 -0.72
Content 9.05 9.10 -0.05
Host(s) 9.32 9.52 -0.20
Reliability (new episodes available when promised) 7.77 9.04 -1.27
Length of episodes 7.07 8.82 -1.75
Frequency of new episodes 7.78 9.02 -1.24
Placement of ads or sponsorships in podcast 4.44 8.25 -3.81
Website design 5.40 7.86 -2.46
Website content 5.77 8.00 -2.23
Overall Satisfaction 9.31


Tags: Croncast Survey Kris Smith Betsy Smith Advertise Cronast Demographics ]]> Sat, 19 Apr 2008 18:28:13 -0500 tag:croncast.com,1641 Well, we've shared with you, and now you've shared with us. Below is the survey data that over 200 of you filled out during the past year. I thought you guys might like to see what other listeners think of the show (good and bad), spend online, how much loot they make, if they have or don't have kids and a ton of other no Croncast Survey, Kris Smith, Betsy Smith, Advertise, Cronast Demographics Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 01, 2007 http://www.croncast.com/rssk/861/Betsy-and-her-husband-Kris-Aug-01-2007_kobe-beef_bananas-foster.php Podcasts Croncast 2007-08-01 align= Croncast - 2007-08-01.mp3
Show: #392
Length: 1:05:10
Size: 44.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 01, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

We've made it into the month of August
You've now crossed into Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla Shooting Club
Sure you don't want to bitch about Boulder some more?
I like Boulder, there are just some things I don't
We roll up and there is a guard tower
Was he standing there with a rifle?
No, Mr B
It is a gorgeous view
Flanked by beauty
The guard comes ambling up to the Volvo
Your names ladies?
We give them, remember this
"Do you ladies have any firearms with you?"
No firearms in this Volvo
This wagon is clear
He gives us directions
We roll on up
Elk Mountain Resort is beautiful
The valet pulls it four feet away and parks
The woman on hotels.com just kept complaining about it
She is nuts
Jeannie says the place is like Annie
Everyone stands to greet you as you walk in
Then there was Santa Claus
A dude with a white beard and red suit?
No, he had a uniform and a "I love my job smile"
He's got hot towels on a silver platter
He looks at me and says, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
He looks at Jeannie, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
Shit, the deal is sealed, we are the dykes
Welcome to first class
It took us 9 hours from Boulder
We'll make everything guided for you
What time would you ladies like dinner?
This Mrs. Smith would like to eat before 7:30
Mrs. Smith and I would like to eat in 45 minutes
Santa has an ear piece and a chest mic
He talks into it and poof the bell hop appears
We get to our room and the view is gorgeous
If you don't like it dial "0"
The bed looks like a cloud from heaven
I got Wal-Mart sheets
Jeanie, "We have robes!"
Hers and hers robes would have been nice
So we get dressed for dinner
It was intimidating, we felt like we didn't fit
Then I bust out the gift certificate
We wanted to play it cool
Sure, you want to fit in
They were nicer than your grandma who hasn't see you in three years
Every time you walk in the door the staff stands
Oh, are you ladies here for dinner?
I'll announce you, then he speaks into his lapel, "The Smiths are here for dinner."
You haven't told them yet?
No I was waiting for Jeannie
Who's the man, the big footed one with a bad perm
Are there any other guests at the resort?
Two other men not talking
There were 10 total guests at the resort
We order our dinner and they ask for drinks
My mom always orders the house wine, the cheap stuff
I'll have a Mountain Dew won't go over well
Jeannie hates red wine but follows Betsy's lead
Hi, I'm Chef Jeff, which house wine is best for you?
They start bringing out bread baskets and baked stuff
Chef Jeff is like, "Fuck dude! I worked on that all day and you can't say it."
I look at Jeannie, I can tell she doesn't like it
Been there and done that
Jeannie is woofing it down
I have to eat at least half of it
The two men eating alone are now joined by someone I recognize
The owner that I had seen on The Daily Show
Kris if you kick it up a notch we can do this every weekend
He comes over to the table
Asks what activities we are going to do
ATV's and shooting
We are the only resort in the entire world to have access for ATV's
Jeannie, "I love the outdoors but I can't go up high"
Our ATV's are automatic
They've thought of everything
Yes, everything
On the ride you will come to a place called Top of the World
So high that airplanes will fly below
Then he launches in to the special lights
These are based on the biologic make up of a lobster's eye
They are used to melt the snow to make an ice tunnel
Mr. Foreman continues to talk about the press they have gotten
A book on the NYT Best Sellers list is based at Elk Mountain Resort
He had me sold . . . I wanted to kiss a bear and drive to the top of the world
Why would you think that you couldn't do something?
Tom Foreman makes you believe that you can do anything
Enter the rest of the guests
Three sets of couples that look like my neighbors
Fit soccer moms?
Yes, Kris
I just drove 4 states over to get away from them
Now they are going to spoil my mountain view
Mr. Foreman goes over to the new couples
The super sweet firebox
Then our food comes
Every time there was another opportunity to be put in our place
We were still really awkward
Betsy has a bowl of puss and I get a bowl of noodles
It was couscous Jeannie
Jeannie starts to panic, all I get are these noodles
Campbell's has everything including broth
Then they bring the broth
After that they bring out dinner
The whole thing was terrific
Except that we were both completely terrified
To get over the petrification of being treated so well and Elk Mountain Resort stay more nights
Kris you are the king of upgrade
So after dinner Santa jumps up
We get our bill after dinner
Betsy goes white
Shut up Jeannie, I'll tell you later
The one thing you can't return is food
What I was freaking out about was that our house wine turned out to be $18 a glass
From their perspective, the lesbians aren't satisfied
Chef Jeff asks if dinner was to their liking
Then Thomas comes over and asks
After that the waitress comes up
Sure, they are trained like the CIA to read unhappiness
What would you ladies like to do?
We would like a jacuzzi?
Our eyes meet and we realize . . . they aren't out to get us . . . they are out to spoil us
Drinking our sangria in the hot tub
The cheap wine was awesome
Betsy took 100 pics of the tops of trees
At the Boulder art fair there was a dude with aspen photos
So we retire to the room and Jeannie puts on a robe
Sliding into the bed of heaven
Mrs. Smith, this is going to be the greatest night of my life
The greatest part of this is that I have no kids to wake me up
Betsy wakes up at 6:01 for coffee and viewing birds that were probably released for my pleasure
Do you know how much this is costing per minute? Get up Jeannie
We decide to take a hike
We start to walk by workers that gardening
When they see you they stop, stand, smile and ask you if you need anything
Landscapers saw us, they froze like deer
When we went by them they commenced working again
Tom has thought of everything
When a crossed eyed man in golf cart tells you "good luck" heed his warning
People are freezing along the trail "I'm a tree. I'm a tree. I'm a tree"
Maybe the trail was made for someone who came one time
Betsy, they did not release cows into the national forest for you to view
Queue the cattle
Someone left it on the comment card no doubt
Gotta watch out for the feral cows
Jeannie was petrified of them
Now you know why he told you good luck
That guy used to not be cross eyed till a cow incident
We can hear them shrieking and yelling
There they are . . . the soccer moms on the zip line
Whew, my Nike sports bra is twisted
We are on our way back
Jeannie freezes as we stand on Have you told anyone that you are not Mrs. Smith?
I see two brown ears rising out of this draining ditch
Out jumps a giant mule deer
Betsy chases it to take it's photo
The lesbians are crazy!
What are the lesbians doing now?
Time for lunch on the patio
We need some cigarettes and an ashtray
"Can I have an ashtray?"
She speaks into her cleavage mic
Around the corner, "I'm on it"
I know it is fun to play spies but this is weird
It was awesome though, instant ashtray
Lesbians are on porch, queue deer
Queue the geese
Then the soccer moms come bouncing back fit and tan
"Where are you guys from?"
Bloomington. "We are going to drive through there."
Their husbands, reserved and uptight
Screw it, this is all about me
I am going to make the soccer moms laugh
She swore that she was thirsty and all the sudden water showed up
"Guess how many kids we have?"
I don't know this is a game?
We have 10 combined?
How many are girls?
One
Then they struck a bad ass soccer mom pose
They brought things like running shoes
Betsy brought Crocs and sandals
Perfect lesbian gear
The soccer moms told us that the ATV's were awesome
We get ready to go and Misha shows up
I have done this ride 500 times and not lost 1 person yet
She takes out these top gun flight suits
I brought you the biggest ones we have
Betsy, "Of course mine won't zip up"
Jeannie, "neither will mine"
Jeannie you rock!
This could be customer service boot camp
Their motto must be "we are not going to tell you no"
They actually import vans from Europe to fit through their gates
Probably because it is more aesthetically pleasing
This is my new motto, "It is all about me"
Betsy gives me the thumbs up and then hits a tree
So we're going up the mountain
Jeannie is flying behind Misha
Betsy is stuck
I look down and my left hand has the brake so tight that I won't move
When you got on the quad the Unitarian in you took over
It was trying to save you
Oh, I'm sorry when was the last time you drove an ATV up a mountain
Betsy is trying to avoid the sticks
"Mam, that is an all terrain vehicle. Run over the sticks."
Hitting trees really hurts
Right before we get to The Top of the World
I look up and it is all Aspens and cattle
Jeannie starts to freak
Get me past that cow so fast
I am getting away from that cow so fast
Kris, we got to the top of mountain
You can see Utah, three mountain ranges at 9000 ft
We both had brown mustaches
It added to the lesbianism
Every time Betsy talks to the staff it is about her husbands and kids
Talk into your chest, the lesbians are not lesbians
These people are awesome
Misha ran a camp for bad ass kids
Like outward bound? Way scarier
Working at Elk Mountain Resort is top of the food chain
You have got to put in your time
John of course is an ex-Navy Seal
He is bad ass
You feel amazingly comfortable and slightly scared
I love men like that. Don't you Jeannie
Sure, he was handsome too
OK, time for this podcast to end
We ended on the ATV's and it was time to drink
Don't hand the truck driver the bottle
Four or five inches of vodka
Kris, we almost drank an entire bottle of vodka
Jeannie is naked in a robe and slippers
We are ripped
You are so awesome . . . No, you are so awesome
I look at clock and it is 9:00 p.m. and we haven't eaten
We dial "0" and they tell us that the dining room is still open for us
We arrive and there are flames to the ceiling
Chef Jeff is making bananas foster
The soccer moms start to speak to us
Betsy with her vodka mouth
"Are we going to be on your webcast?", soccer moms
Jeannie loves it when I get out of control
"We should introduce ourselves"
No that is OK, I already have a name for you, "The bad ass soccer moms"
It could go either way
Then the leader dies laughing
Right, there has to be an Alpha mom in the group
Yes, the one with the longest Escalade, the EXT
So Chef Jeff comes over
Betsy, "A-1 Jeff we're trashed. Can I call you Chef Jeff from now on"
That's not chatting it up that is drunk babble
Chef Jeff really made it
We don't go to gourmet restaurants and have the chef talk to us for 40 minutes
It was entirely phenomenal
Kris, I know we have talked about how I challenged the Russian to a vodka drinking contest
Can I take it back when you order the most expensive item on the menu?
And I was on the urge of vomiting
Kobe beef times 2 with bananas foster
Betsy looks at me like you better eat that bitch
Chef Jeff is buying us drinks
And I have to deny him because now I can't see him
I don't know where I am at
We stumble back to our room
There is that point, where you realize that I am done my man
Jeannie deals with Betsy, I am sick
I will lay in the bed of heaven
Betsy has the her cigarettes and the camera around her neck
You ticked me off
You don't like me anymore?
I'll like you tomorrow
You just ripped my underwear and are out of control
I proceed to go to the most beautiful bathroom in the states
And I don't even have to use my muscles
I have an exorcism of the most expensive meal I have ever ate
More babbling from Betsy
Typical Betsy move, "I made myself throw up"
This is the best planned bathroom of all time
6 feet from toilet to wall on a slate floor
Betsy made a bed right there with a Turkish robe
And I fell asleep on that cold stone slate floor and it felt so good
As I was falling asleep I thought to myself . . .
I love John, Misha, Chef Jeff and I love Tom the most
Why? Because he was smart enough to put a twin bed in the water closet
I don't know what we were thinking by drinking so much
I have nicotine and alcohol poisoning . . . I need to dial "0"
We have to do another show for Valhalla
It was the most emotional day of Jeannie's life
Sorry about your underwear dude
I'll get you a Target gift certificate
These were Victoria Secret
Do you know how much stuff I will have to find and sell from Goodwill?
Final installment of Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla comes your way tomorrow!

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Tags: kobe beef bananas foster Elk Mountain Resort Valhalla Shooting Club Chef Jeff bad ass soccer moms ]]>Croncast 2007-08-01 align= Croncast - 2007-08-01.mp3
Show: #392
Length: 1:05:10
Size: 44.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 01, 2007

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We've made it into the month of August
You've now crossed into Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla Shooting Club
Sure you don't want to bitch about Boulder some more?
I like Boulder, there are just some things I don't
We roll up and there is a guard tower
Was he standing there with a rifle?
No, Mr B
It is a gorgeous view
Flanked by beauty
The guard comes ambling up to the Volvo
Your names ladies?
We give them, remember this
"Do you ladies have any firearms with you?"
No firearms in this Volvo
This wagon is clear
He gives us directions
We roll on up
Elk Mountain Resort is beautiful
The valet pulls it four feet away and parks
The woman on hotels.com just kept complaining about it
She is nuts
Jeannie says the place is like Annie
Everyone stands to greet you as you walk in
Then there was Santa Claus
A dude with a white beard and red suit?
No, he had a uniform and a "I love my job smile"
He's got hot towels on a silver platter
He looks at me and says, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
He looks at Jeannie, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
Shit, the deal is sealed, we are the dykes
Welcome to first class
It took us 9 hours from Boulder
We'll make everything guided for you
What time would you ladies like dinner?
This Mrs. Smith would like to eat before 7:30
Mrs. Smith and I would like to eat in 45 minutes
Santa has an ear piece and a chest mic
He talks into it and poof the bell hop appears
We get to our room and the view is gorgeous
If you don't like it dial "0"
The bed looks like a cloud from heaven
I got Wal-Mart sheets
Jeanie, "We have robes!"
Hers and hers robes would have been nice
So we get dressed for dinner
It was intimidating, we felt like we didn't fit
Then I bust out the gift certificate
We wanted to play it cool
Sure, you want to fit in
They were nicer than your grandma who hasn't see you in three years
Every time you walk in the door the staff stands
Oh, are you ladies here for dinner?
I'll announce you, then he speaks into his lapel, "The Smiths are here for dinner."
You haven't told them yet?
No I was waiting for Jeannie
Who's the man, the big footed one with a bad perm
Are there any other guests at the resort?
Two other men not talking
There were 10 total guests at the resort
We order our dinner and they ask for drinks
My mom always orders the house wine, the cheap stuff
I'll have a Mountain Dew won't go over well
Jeannie hates red wine but follows Betsy's lead
Hi, I'm Chef Jeff, which house wine is best for you?
They start bringing out bread baskets and baked stuff
Chef Jeff is like, "Fuck dude! I worked on that all day and you can't say it."
I look at Jeannie, I can tell she doesn't like it
Been there and done that
Jeannie is woofing it down
I have to eat at least half of it
The two men eating alone are now joined by someone I recognize
The owner that I had seen on The Daily Show
Kris if you kick it up a notch we can do this every weekend
He comes over to the table
Asks what activities we are going to do
ATV's and shooting
We are the only resort in the entire world to have access for ATV's
Jeannie, "I love the outdoors but I can't go up high"
Our ATV's are automatic
They've thought of everything
Yes, everything
On the ride you will come to a place called Top of the World
So high that airplanes will fly below
Then he launches in to the special lights
These are based on the biologic make up of a lobster's eye
They are used to melt the snow to make an ice tunnel
Mr. Foreman continues to talk about the press they have gotten
A book on the NYT Best Sellers list is based at Elk Mountain Resort
He had me sold . . . I wanted to kiss a bear and drive to the top of the world
Why would you think that you couldn't do something?
Tom Foreman makes you believe that you can do anything
Enter the rest of the guests
Three sets of couples that look like my neighbors
Fit soccer moms?
Yes, Kris
I just drove 4 states over to get away from them
Now they are going to spoil my mountain view
Mr. Foreman goes over to the new couples
The super sweet firebox
Then our food comes
Every time there was another opportunity to be put in our place
We were still really awkward
Betsy has a bowl of puss and I get a bowl of noodles
It was couscous Jeannie
Jeannie starts to panic, all I get are these noodles
Campbell's has everything including broth
Then they bring the broth
After that they bring out dinner
The whole thing was terrific
Except that we were both completely terrified
To get over the petrification of being treated so well and Elk Mountain Resort stay more nights
Kris you are the king of upgrade
So after dinner Santa jumps up
We get our bill after dinner
Betsy goes white
Shut up Jeannie, I'll tell you later
The one thing you can't return is food
What I was freaking out about was that our house wine turned out to be $18 a glass
From their perspective, the lesbians aren't satisfied
Chef Jeff asks if dinner was to their liking
Then Thomas comes over and asks
After that the waitress comes up
Sure, they are trained like the CIA to read unhappiness
What would you ladies like to do?
We would like a jacuzzi?
Our eyes meet and we realize . . . they aren't out to get us . . . they are out to spoil us
Drinking our sangria in the hot tub
The cheap wine was awesome
Betsy took 100 pics of the tops of trees
At the Boulder art fair there was a dude with aspen photos
So we retire to the room and Jeannie puts on a robe
Sliding into the bed of heaven
Mrs. Smith, this is going to be the greatest night of my life
The greatest part of this is that I have no kids to wake me up
Betsy wakes up at 6:01 for coffee and viewing birds that were probably released for my pleasure
Do you know how much this is costing per minute? Get up Jeannie
We decide to take a hike
We start to walk by workers that gardening
When they see you they stop, stand, smile and ask you if you need anything
Landscapers saw us, they froze like deer
When we went by them they commenced working again
Tom has thought of everything
When a crossed eyed man in golf cart tells you "good luck" heed his warning
People are freezing along the trail "I'm a tree. I'm a tree. I'm a tree"
Maybe the trail was made for someone who came one time
Betsy, they did not release cows into the national forest for you to view
Queue the cattle
Someone left it on the comment card no doubt
Gotta watch out for the feral cows
Jeannie was petrified of them
Now you know why he told you good luck
That guy used to not be cross eyed till a cow incident
We can hear them shrieking and yelling
There they are . . . the soccer moms on the zip line
Whew, my Nike sports bra is twisted
We are on our way back
Jeannie freezes as we stand on Have you told anyone that you are not Mrs. Smith?
I see two brown ears rising out of this draining ditch
Out jumps a giant mule deer
Betsy chases it to take it's photo
The lesbians are crazy!
What are the lesbians doing now?
Time for lunch on the patio
We need some cigarettes and an ashtray
"Can I have an ashtray?"
She speaks into her cleavage mic
Around the corner, "I'm on it"
I know it is fun to play spies but this is weird
It was awesome though, instant ashtray
Lesbians are on porch, queue deer
Queue the geese
Then the soccer moms come bouncing back fit and tan