water park | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

Season 21 Ep 05: Making Waves, Bandanas in the Pool, Dog Grill

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 13:53:38 -0600

Croncast - 2009-01-26.mp3
Show: #505
Length: 22:00
Size: 20.2 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

This show brought to you by Podiobooks.com
Hair plugs for your dog
He'll always look like a puppy
Flint for sparking doberman jaws
A grill for my dog with diamonds
Add some flint too for sparks
That would be hot
Burglars like shiny stuff
Made the water park trek
Long way to Wisconsin birthday part
Don't kiss my kids
Or lick your face
Bandanas in the pool

Tags: water park doberman jaws sparking teeth Wisconsin birthday bandana

Season 19 Ep 18: Hey Sugar, Maiden Warrior, Let's meet

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 13:22:04 -0600

Croncast - 2008-02-22.mp3
Show: #464
Length: 32:14
Size: 29.8mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

It's been a while
I'm rusty
Remembering the order that I say things in
I don't use the Secret, no
You are a closet Unitarian Mr. B
No I am not
Are you a Secretologist?
She says random stuff
I'm just speaking my mind
That is what she things
Trying to get my goat
Takes one to know one
You are messing with wrong chick
She told me that she someone from my church
The woman told me she was a Humanist
Does that mean you guys are Scientologists?
You're giving away our secrets
Now you know before I say anything about Scientologists
We have a listener that meets all of Betsy's anti-requirements
We love him though
I wasn't messing with engineers, I know them
I admire the way that they think
She rolls over, I need to tell you something
She's going to tell you she tested positive for something
"My name . . ."
Your name?
"Yeah"
Yes
"Noel"
Yeah, I got it
"It means Maiden Warriors"
My engineer roommate began stirring in his loft
I taught him everything he needed to know about women
I had the scariest roommate in the entire world
I don't think you have told it, Betsy
**Note: this is one of the best stories Betsy has told on the show**
**Listen in at the 8:00 minute mark**
The alcoholic woman at the water park
She reminded me of your mom, Kris
Listers, you tell me
The text message I got was a hook-up message
No, it wasn't
I will leave it up to the listeners
Have you shared it with your friends
Yeah
What did they say?
Well . . .

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

Tags: Maiden Warrior Humanist Secretologist alcoholic women

Presidentologists do it better (late show today)

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 07:20:10 -0600

President's Day is a really big day for us. We usually celebrate it by throwing a party for our friends and other President worshipers. We've never told anyone this before but we are Presidentologists.

Yes, it is true.

One day Abraham L. will come back for us in his wooden, beaver pelt powered spaceship. He will take with him only the believers.

If I drive by an auto accident, I can look at it and know that myself and the other Presidentologists are the only people who can truly help those injured in it.

For these reasons the today's show will be later this afternoon. We've got some rituals to finish at the water park.

Tags: president's day presidentology religion of the people water park

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 06, 2007

Fri, 06 Jul 2007 08:33:30 -0500

Croncast - 2007-07-06.mp3
Show: #383
Length: 32:06
Size: 22.0mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 06, 2007

Tickets are on sale now for the live show . . . get your's or find out more

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

The live show is in two days!
Markx got it right, "baste"
Mr B, I smell a whole line of products for you
Water sun block with a baster?
After four days at water park the chlorine was getting to me
It was Michael Jackson' favorite place . . . lots of kids and you get bleached
Showing off my chicken skin legs
Remember when I told you about the kids . . . the hair metal kids?
Yes, I remember
I was driving by Goodwill and there they were
I won't tell anyone where to go for the boxes
Is that lady out there in the Volvo?
They cut their boxes up now
I noted to myself it was strange to see the kids
Are the kids real or are you making them up from your subconscious?
So the drummer from Ratt is standing there playing lookout
Which I realized after working in the group home and seeing kids act this way
His other Ratt band mates were in the dumpster
I didn't get it
Why not, baby, it was behind a movie theater
They were after posters and stuff
Turns of that they are your kind of people
I was looking at them as little baby thugs
Oh, baby
Kris' cell phone doesn't work in the basement
I need you to look this up on eBay
I can't hear you
What is it?
It's used retard! Gently carried, slightly touched
Then you tell me to put it back
That's four times my investment
I did find, however, a new threat to my Goodwill goodies
What does Kris have for show prep?
I got out int he world and went to see accountant
We had some tax debt and it turns out we have even more tax debt
I hope the accountant did that
What! What Mr. B
Booba, you gotta listen to me
The feds, uncle sam, is a greedy bitch and wants his money now
Accountant says, you're not in trouble
Yes, I am . . . with my wife
I need to explain to you why I am thinking of cashing out my retirement to pay taxes
You don't understand, my life could be in danger
Betsy is going to Valhalla and learning to use heavy weaponry
Betsy tries to play it off
Somehow she must not have been here during the windfall
I lucked into a windfall
That's ok Mr. B if you want to apologize again
I know you've already blown your top
How did your mom know?
I didn't tell her
Nobody can make me feel any worse
I was watering the lawn experiment and realized I could have paid for the kids to go to college
I spent all that money, I didn't have a plan, I thought the money would keep coming
It's slowing down, it's slowing down . . . can we maintain
You're mom said, "Why do you feel guilty?"
Let him feel guilty
I am getting exhausted by life lessons
Breaking the dumpster diving rules
The unitarian karma is in effect with you and those kids
I am having an "eh" week
Elliot's behavior has been tough
Sorry to be a downer but, damn
We gotta be there to back one another up
Big deal, appliance deliveries today
Live show Sunday night . . . ready for you on Monday!

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
Look for the graphic on "Audience Survey" on the main page

Tags: Valhalla Michael Jackson Goodwill movie posters tax accountant

The Black Keys coming to town

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 15:30:36 -0500

Just bought tickets to see The Black Keys perform next month here in Chicago on the 25th. This will be my first live show for a touring band since Jolie Holland in the winter of 2005 when Betsy was carrying the baby. Not that it ever stopped but not on her hip is what I mean.

The bad news is that we are on a little vacation to a water park in central Illinois that weekend and might not be able to make it. I am pretty sure we will, these guys are the only artists besides Tom Waits that I have an aching desire to see live.

If you're going to the show or want to go to the show and hook up with us leave a comment.

Tags: The Black Keys Black Keys Chicago November 25th Black Keys Tour