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Season 21 Ep 23: The Mexico Part 2

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 14:55:13 -0400

Croncast - 2009-03-25.mp3
Show: #523
Length: 33:08
Size: 30.4 mb
Format: mp3

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Introducing our driver, Rueben
Pronounced Rue - been
You'll understand why shortly
We're on the homepage in iTunes podcast store
In the parenting category
You're the whip cream
I am the pie to your whip cream
Does that mean we are getting divorced?
Rueben has discussing the directions that the Montana girls gave him
Nervous like Mom telling me, "Let's go to TJ to buy school supplies"
Sterling silver bangles
Hurling off into the middle of nowhere
The jungle begins flying by
Look at that, it's great
Is it abandoned?
Right, just like central Illinois
Look at you, getting all metric
Jungle was 20 km away
Fine, how about 20 clicks?
Betsy gets scared and starts talking
The Montana girls want you shut up
Actually, it was Erasure
Luggage in my lap
Moobs are getting damp
Rueben rolled up all the windows the moment we got in
4 adult Americans and one Mexican adult
Our bodies use more energy, seriously
They throw the old road next to the new road
You might need a chunk later
It'll have the rebar in it right away
Betsy asked to see the girls' directions
Oh my, God
"OK, like this is going to be so great. Take a left I don't know where, crappy town and it has a number 4."
Betsy's rendition of this is priceless, you have to listen
Around the crappy town, around and around
Forty minutes later we're still circling the town
Weaponry was at full blaze in plenty of places
Security is tight at Goodwill but not like this
Rueben speaks three words of English - yes, no and maybe
And he doesn't know what either of them mean
Don't fly to a foreign country without the address of where you are going
If I were on this trip with Jeanie
No Mrs. and Mrs. Montana it would have been safe!
The highlight of my trip was passing the local airport
I think it's called . . .
Rueben whips around, "Nooooooooooooooooo"
We were 20 clicks from were we supposed to be in the opposite direction
He hands the directions to the armed guard
We find the joint
The girls tip him like $1.50 USD
Rueben peels out in reverse
We hit our heads on the back window
But we arrived in one piece
Colonialism is alive and well
You can't tell me that you didn't breath a sigh of relief
Happy to be alive and I need a burger
The next four days became a huge pain in the ass
Look at these awful white people and their destruction of paradise
While, asking me to rub aloe on my back

Tags: Mexico Vacation Dreams Tulum Rueben the montanas colonialism

Season 21 Ep 9: Copies, Chicken Chutes, Cheap Divorces

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 13:02:22 -0500

Croncast - 2009-02-06.mp3
Show: #509
Length: 29:41
Size: 27.3 mb
Format: mp3

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This show brought to you by Affordable Promotions
I'm on the wellness train
Gary Shilts cheap divorces window scraper
Betsy's host read
I didn't know that you background in radio?
Your dating a of DJ
I got this gig through FFA
I wasn't gonna check chicken chutes
Feta is for farmers
Chemists making cheese
I was the hottest chick in FFA
They could break walnuts with their thighs
You know, those girls
They smelled like hog shit at school
Which farm implement to have sex in for comfort
What else are the going to do?
It laid fallow long enough
See you didn't get to do that
They would have given you the bullhorn one morning
Get your feral cat poison by the gallon. Two for one!
Corn based economy
Flat tire again
Buy wine and bottled water for earthquake
Better if it was a Croncast poster
Join the department of health
"You probably have hep c. Brought to you by Croncast.com"
We could find tons of new listeners
Small town video store All the labels were black and white
Quality of my relations was my credit

Tags: goat cheese FFA wellness train cronast ads corn based economy

i've owned many a smartphone - via twitter

Fri, 30 Jan 2009 12:01:39 -0500

this is a sign of things to come , http://asu.ms/3tSAJk . nearly any os could hurt wm.

Tags: android windows mobile

busted half of'em

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 21:31:15 -0400

baseballs, rocks, jarts or slamming them, i broke half of our neighbors carriage house windows growing up. they look pretty good now.

Tags: half house carriage windows growing

in need

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 20:02:18 -0400

this bear, in some other shots also, drew me to it.

it was positioned in the window to be child height for those walking by the window on the way in.

Tags: window child walking height positioned

baby general

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 19:55:49 -0400

the nutcrackers take orders from this creepy toddler doll that appears to be in charge of all other elements in the window.

Tags: appears charge elements window doll

you really need me

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 19:53:42 -0400

buy this bear or else.

i really dug the way that the weathered store window was subtly caught in this shot for an under the glass hue.

Tags: shot caught under glass hue

the clown sees all

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 19:49:30 -0400

the whole experience of glaring through the store windows with betsy was tinged with a feeling that time had stopped. that, and this glittering petulant clown was the life source for the mannequins in the window.

Tags: clown glittering stopped petulant life

Season 20 Ep 19: San Francisco Part 2, The Meetup

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 14:25:08 -0400

Croncast - 2008-06-04.mp3
Show: #494
Length: 41:59
Size: 28.8 mb
Format: mp3

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We're back for part two of San Francisco
The pre pre-school baby is in a kissing phase
She kissed a diseased baby
Then she kissed me and now I am infected
Other than daddy just do
I can blame it on her cuz I got the documentation
Her encrusted nostril in photos
I could track back the vector of my illness
Yes, you are the carriers
Listen to Croncast, "They argue with one another in their basement"
We rank with NPR shows in the post
How are we different than any other shows?
Funnier
Let the woman talk
No love for this man
I didn't get a party when I was there
Heading to the meetup at House of Shields
What if no one shows up?
People were bound to show up
Four people showed up
I am so glad that I disappointed you in a positive way
David, Sam, Russ and Katherine

The Meetup: Left to Right: Russ, Sam, Katherine (in back), David, Betsy (in blue), Jeanie

David has been listening for a long time
A very long time
He was in college, birthday, marriage to attorney
Look back at things that have happened while we have been doing the show
Schlomo gave us the space
It was dark, with a kicked over chair
That is HoS
Russ got a pre-smoking ban chair with an ashtray built into it
This is where we made the mistake
We started drinking right away, heavily
Jeanie kept up with me drink for drink
Mind you she is one third my size
We left the meetup to go dancing
More drinks
Then Jeanie starts dancing with a bearded Marylin Monroe
Having a great time and we stiffed them on the cab
Just drunk bitches we were
We gotta get to sleep
We have things to do the next day
We surface at 10 am
Jeanie didn't get out of bed till 3
I see a pattern with your Jeanie vacations
Remember Chef Jeff?
Back in my skinny days
Now I'm chubby
There's a food shortage I'm good for 8 weeks
At 8pm Mrs. and Mrs Smith are going to hop on a romantic cruise
They should have named it, "The Good Ship Jagermeister"
A little romantic music for you
If I tried to do that with my friends Evan or Mike
So the next day we rent a car
And we end up dumped in a pile of homeless people
They're like day of the dead zombies
Here comes the scariest wican beast i have ever seen in my life
This weather beaten hag pops up in the window
Shit happens, some people aren't what you expect
Are we on the road to Guerneville?
You can't do that with a kind vegan sister
A big coin receptacle
"I'm saving up to clone my cat, donations welcome"

Tags: San Francisco Guerneville Betsy Smith Jeanie Bowen meetup

the toad sees all. well, maybe just me.

Wed, 14 May 2008 15:08:44 -0400

we've lived here for four years and i've never had anything fall in this window well before.

today it has been a bunny and now two toads.

next shot i hope to post is stacks of $100's that fell from the sky into the window well. fingers crossed.

Tags: window stacks post fell sky

i've fallen and i can't get out

Wed, 14 May 2008 10:17:13 -0400

the banging on my escape route window-well plexiglass went on too long not to be a bird or strong wind . . . i thought.

pull back the curtain and i see this little bunny sitting right there. i suppose that is good because if it was anything else that might bite me i would just have to leave it in there.

boxed him up and sent him to the rabbit sausage factory. ok, i might have released him back in the yard and outside the fence to give him a fighting chance versus the dogs.

cute little bunny, be smart and hop far from this house before little deaf dog snags you with her one good tooth.

Tags: little bunny might window back

Season 20 Ep 7: Koi Pond of Death, Kipp, Horticulture Authority

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 10:01:19 -0400

Croncast - 2008-04-18.mp3
Show: #482
Length: 26:40
Size: 18.3 mb
Format: mp3

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Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2007 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

Kris is all business all the time
I am business baby even when I sleep
You're on Twitter 24/7
I was dreaming about API's
That is why I slept through the earthquake
Why you should be like me
Fifth graders would listen
It is like dreaming about math
What parent wouldn't say, "I would like my kid dreaming about math"
You can't negative criticism
The survey we ran for one year
The likes and dislikes are finally available
It's not that
"He laughs at nothing"
The laugh is used to fill in the gaps
Go back and listen to the first few shows with gaps
No one is addicted to your laugh
I say addicted to laughing in general
It is good for you
Adam Curry released some demographic data
So with that I will release all survey that we did later today
STICKERS - first 10 people to send me their address from the contact page
GET - a sticker
Swearing was a thing we did a lot of
We've gone through iterations
Your mom draining her tub
My options were here or next to the sump pump
The outdoor work began around here
Anything I try to do never works
We know this Betsy
The neighbor's chemically altered grass
The grass is smart it knows not even to cross property line
Raised timber bed
Longtime listeners might remember the coi pond
The koi pond of death
I hire them to clean up the yard, remove some timbers and edge my mulch
People that run their own business have psychological problems
They do it because they can't get a normal job
Anybody can be a landscaper
Kipp's Lawn Repair
Kipp is name of death
Just says drug habit
I ask him for a quote
He's a horticulture authority
You could sell his rotten lumber
ReplacementDeckParts.com
That should be your next business
Green has become a scam in many ways
AAA1 Steve
Are you bonded?
Yes, I've posted bond before
Oh, no
That sort of happened with the Comcast guy
He'd done time
Or as he said, "I did a bit"
He hadn't seen his kids in years
That TV would fit right out that window
I got my eye on them
I don't trust them ever
Betsy is soo like Daniel Day-Louis in There Will Be Blood
Upton Sinclair wrote the book just for you
Would you quit junking for $1 million?
I couldn't do it
That would only last you 3-4 months, Kris
Right, 50ould go to the divorce
Banking where you used to live
You mail stuff to your bank?
Well, it's an hour long drive

Tags: Koi Fish croncast stickers horticulture authority Upton Sinclair Daniel Day-Louis

Season 19 Ep 15: KGB Training, Easy Women, The Long Haul

Mon, 11 Feb 2008 13:07:51 -0500

Croncast - 2008-02-11.mp3
Show: #461
Length: 33:28
Size: 22.9mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Pick post any post
Tell me what kind of man I am
What kind of dirty man
What kind of wife walks around slovenly
You've fixed it
You look like Theo on The Cosby Show
The shirt is crazy
Right and I love it
My mom bought it from home shopping network
It is designed for a pin
It looks like a bank secretary
When these comments come in
Yeah, they come from new listeners
Do you remember the Lincoln?
Having to slide out of it shotgun style
It was always falling apart
Passing money out the door at McDonald's because window is broken
There was a lot of tension in the house early on
Years worth of tension
But the shows got better
Our lives got better
I am surprised anyone listened
I love you but my friend hates you guys
You gotta work with me people
We've gotten a lot better at telling stories
We like to deliver a good show
Hence, the word 'show'
I don't sparkle when I move
On that tip, we've been cranking out the Resale Queen
Catch up now
It's a show about topics
Not nothingness
Buy it used on eBay NIP
My improv show this week
This is your big shot
A career option
Some might call me gifted
I don't know who those people are
At a party with Betsy
She shares this all the time, "yes, I skipped a grade"
That is one of the first things people tell you
Technically what we are doing here is illegal
No money changed hands
Thank for easy women
I wouldn't have been married if it weren't for easy women
You wouldn't have been born if it weren't for easy women
There is a woman at the class who REALLY likes me
She tried to undress me during a scene
Does it make you feel good?
So we got Bar Louie and now this woman
What are you learning at improv?
First rule is to be supportive
Second is don't undress anybody
Maybe it is you
Are you sending the vibe?
No, no, no, no, noooooooo
She pulled my shirt up in front of a room of people
Audience was like ewww
Nobody wants to see my baby tummy
It looks like I was attacked by a bear
80 members?
That is not a home owner's association
I respectfully decline to go down this road
I battled with the Russian chick again
Shopping with the kids is like having a wild raccoon duct taped to your back
You get to see everyone's ankle bracelets
She took my plates
It's her KGB training
You crossed the line and should have never done it

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

View Kris's resume or download it

Tags: Homer Simpson Bar Louie Russian women Resale Queen wild raccoon

Mother-in-law on Linux? Yep.

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 11:35:15 -0500

Am I crazy? Nope. It's show time for Linux.

Some of the the Linux flavors have matured enough to be great solutions for keeping family members safe from viruses and giving them the tools, graphically, that they need. So much so that Dell is now offering computers with it as an alternative to Windows.

However, it's not just family members that benefit, it saves the "son-in-law tech support company" a ton of time and headaches.

And now there is a great tool available called Automatix that is a great asset for installing new apps quickly. Sure, I am comfortable with command line work but if there is a gui available that can make installing software simpler than finding a package, decompressing, cd to directory and then running . . . well, I am all for it.

You can see from the photo above that I chose Xubuntu for the install, a smaller footprint of Ubuntu. It's designed to run on low RAM machines.

It's perfect for a mother-in-law prone to installing software from every popup ad that she encounters. Which is the reason that her Toshiba laptop has a desktop that looks like this:

So far so good.

Tags: Ubuntu Xubuntu Toshiba Dell laptop Linux

New Flickr Uploadr makes me want to upload

Wed, 21 Nov 2007 09:08:51 -0500

I caught this blog post this morning about the Flickr release of an updated version of their desktop uploader.

It is a much needed upgrade and . . . and . . . for those of you, like me, that use Flickr for backing up your photos will love that the new version doesn't force you to resize large images. Being able to archive my original images to Flickr just made the service even more useful.

It's available for Windows and Mac. However, at Flickr the links for the download are still pointing to the old version.

Get version 3.0 in the original post.

Thanks, DI and Yahoo!

Tags: Flickr Uploadr desktop upload Flickr uploader 3.0 archive flickr

chit chat kitty cat

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 13:53:34 -0500

this is my favorite shot from the trip downtown naperville today.

living a few miles away helps make trips more frequent but i saw something different in the downtown today. for some reason i chose to focus on the window graphics/art and the reflections of other downtown elements.

also was a good time with elliot.

the 11 photo set is here.

Tags: downtown focus window chose reason

Zuner or later

Wed, 14 Nov 2007 15:58:51 -0500

Well, the new Zune Marketplace launched yesterday. For now I will hold my opinions to myself as I see the project mature a bit.

I'm excited about the podcast section of the software, since it is Windows based and comes from Microsoft. Both things mean a new reach for podcasting.

However, when I went into the store, Croncast is not in their directory. So for now, no links to Zune Marketplace. I will add some and sing some praises, maybe, when we are added to the store.

If you get a chance to use the software, go to the podcast marketplace and "suggest a podcast". Namely, Croncast with this link http://www.croncast.com/shows.rss, but also add any others that you listen to and can't find by searching.

Tags: Zune podcast Microsoft Zune Marketplace Croncast Apple iTunes

Smartphone absurdity, I want just one

Sat, 25 Aug 2007 12:23:33 -0400

I didn't realize how absurd this smartphone crap was until the day before yesterday. We have a potential client using Blackberries as podcast players. Which was no big deal since I worked on a solution a few years ago at my day job but I needed to get the same version as the client. Hence a new radiation hot spot for my palm.

Now in the house:

1 Treo 700 (mine, Verizon)
1 xv6700 (Betsy, Verizon)
1 iPhone (work, AT&T)
1 Blackberry 8703e (work, Sprint)

Two of them are for work, like I marked them above, but it is ridiculous. They all do like one thing better than the others, one carrier's plan is better priced or the network makes all the difference. What do I mean?

Best sounding as a phone:
1. Treo
2. iPhone
3. Blackberry
4. xv6700 (horrible)

Ease of use as a phone:
1. iPhone (my mother-in-law could use it)
2. Treo
3. Blackberry
4. xv6700 (need 3 hands to make a call)

Ease of use overall:
1. iPhone
2. Blackberry
3. Treo
4. xv6700

Best OS:
1. xv6700 (windows mobile 5.0, too bad everything else about it sucks)
2. iPhone
3. Treo
4. Blackberry

Best media playback:
1. iPhone (wonder why?)
2. xv6700
3. Treo
4. Blackberry

Best keypad:
1. Blackberry (update: thanks Garrick for pointing out I misspelled it the first time -LOL)
2. Treo
3. xv6700
4. iPhone (it's pretty . . . hard to use quickly)

Best sms device:
1. Treo
2. Blackberry
3. xv6700
4. iPhone

Best email device:
1. Blackberry
2. Treo (would be third if AT&T edge were faster)
3. iPhone (on wifi this is second)
4. xv6700

Best web device (network):
1. Treo (doubles as EV-DO modem, love it)
2. xv6700 (doubles as EV-DO modem, never used it)
3. iPhone
4. Blackberry (locked into a special start page, blah and doubles as EVDO modem but Sprint rates are insane)

Best web device (wifi):
1. iPhone (experience much like real browsing
2. xv6700 (fast but reformats pages)
The other two are AWOL with no wifi capability

Best camera:
1. iPhone
2. Treo
3. xv6700
Blackberry is without

Best network:
1. Verizon
2. Sprint
3. AT&T

Best overall:
1. iPhone
2. Treo
3. Blackberry
4. xv6700

Taking all of this into consideration and my experience with all four operating systems and form factors, I have decided that my ultimate phone and carrier combo would look something like this:

An iPhone on Verizon's network, use as EV-DO modem, with an add on keypad and GPS onboard. That would get an 'ooh la la' and an amen.

Tags: iPhone xv6700 Treo 700 Blackberry 8703e Verizon EVDO Sprint GPS

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 17, 2007

Fri, 17 Aug 2007 08:45:47 -0400

Croncast - 2007-08-17.mp3
Show: #398
Length: 29:56
Size: 20.5mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 17, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

I'm losing my voice again
Thanks to your children
Serves you right!
Mr. "In a minute"
Hitting refresh is not a job
Doing who is queries all day
The fact that you know what a who is query is . . . time for love love
The pitter patter of Gigi upstairs
Don't spray that in your eye
Maggie locked me in the basement
Every woman in this house locks me in the basement
Once she realizes I am on one side and she is on the other she freaks out
Daddy, daddy dadddy
I begin to stress because I hear the crying
It activates that parental thing in me
There is one way out other than crawling out
A big man in a small window
Yeah, it is like fat women and little dogs
I begin yelling for the other one to come and unlock the door
The dogs start barking
I'm screaming at the top of my lungs
I start yelling up the vents hoping Elliot would hear me
Why didn't you just stick one man titty at a time out the window and ease out
You need to get out of the house Mr. B
I really wish we could spend time together at things like the Great American Yard Sale
You could be my wing man Mr. B
Anyways, I got you
Who wants to play with plushies with you
Betsy does improv class night two
It will make me a better listener, Kris
It has brought insight into your life
I have learned what it is like to be a man
Someone will redirect you in the moment and you can move on
I just think you've got a brain like golden retriever
I don't have to be a tree at home
We should have a family game night with improv games
Oh, wait I have an idea . . . how about family HTML programming night right before dessert
The new dude walks in to class and he is a programmer
I thought you were a coder
I can smell it on your breath
What does it smell like?
Your mother's basement
It was super fun
I had a near death experience Mr. B
How does that happen when all you do is go and get coffee and hit up Goodwill
I put down the mocha latta
I'm parked next to a big shiny Lexus
Maggie freaks and I open my car door into the car
Then I see that the car is occupied
Fuck you and your fucking small car
The woman gets out of her car very slowly
I don't know what you are supposed to do in that situation
It's a Volvo, it's bullet proof, don't touch me
It gets worse
I did what any self respecting mommy would do
I lick my shirt and rub the mark off her car
She makes eye contact and says, "Stop licking my car"
My ass was grass
Get your lips off my Lexus
I had successfully removed the scratch with my magic eraser finger
I hit your car but I successfully slimed off the mark
The dust of Elk Mountain
I would get arrested for that
I know what I am going to do
I ran
I ran away from her
I picked up Maggie and ran
If she hits my car, well, it is insured
I wasn't going to wait until she popped out my eye teeth
Betsy will minimize anyone else's shit
Just because you don't care about your car doesn't mean other people don't
The Dust of Montrose
Was my greatest vacation ever
Your not helping me out Mr. B
The Great American Yard Sale has moved to a mall parking lot
Westfield shopping center won't know what hit
Welcome to camp Junk Ass
One legged box races
There are some one legged people that can gallop
I need you to help me out
I'll get there at four in the morning and it will give me a 10 minute head start
They stole my Jaguar off my hood
What it the whole point of owning the Jaguar is the stupid little shiny thing
Yeah, now it is next to some kids tee ball trophy
Dealership says none in stock
Ornament $211, labor $78 and with tax it will be about $330
Didn't you have any markings on it?
Thanks to Bernadette for this review and write up!

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
Look for the graphic on "Audience Survey" on the main page

Tags: Black Lexus Great American Yard Sale improv class Dust of Montrose Jaguar hood ornament

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 03, 2007

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 09:27:44 -0400

Croncast - 2007-08-03.mp3
Show: #393
Length: 32:41
Size: 22.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 03, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

Kris is losing his voice
The most emotional day of Jeanie's life ensues
Jeanie wakes up hammered
Betsy woke up and rubbed her feet all over Jeanie
It is the curse of Betsy
Betsy hates feet, can't stand feet
Wants nothing to do with feet
However, she can't keep her feet off of you
She has to put them on you
And these aren't regular feet
They are a women's size 12
A man's size 11 1/2
And they are like meat hooks
Dry, jerky meat hooks
And they are rough and jagged with a sixth toe on each foot
Like the Chinese guy in the Guinness Book
It must be a female thing
Evan yells at me when I do it to him
Why do you gotta put your toes on me?
Get on your own side dude!
Sorry, Mrs. Smith greatest day ever isn't gonna cap out
While I'm dying of alcohol and nicotine poisoning
I wake up and the toilet is full of Kobe of bananas foster
I didn't puke on the floor . . . it is from when I got out of the shower to puke
Jeanie, "This is gross"
We have to get up, today is the second greatest day of my life
The day that I get to go and shoot stuff
I'll have the fruit plate
It comes back as fruit art
We tell the waiter, but it is obvious that Betsy is hungover
The waiter comes back with cappuccino for the ladies
Jeanie gets amped
Somebody give that woman a firearm
Betsy now feels the same way that I did when we were on the ATVs
Even Linda Hogan has to put chin to cleavage and push on
No pressure, step up to the plate
We walk in to Valhalla
Turns out that John is going to help us
There are like 10 bronze Remington statues
Gigantic NRA flags on the wall
Celebrity photos on the wall
John, ex-Navy Seal, comes over and talks to us
I have never listened so hard in my life
"Oh shit, we are really going to do this"
This will be in live combat simulation mode
The bullets will explode
"We do not point the gun at anyone. Including me," John
This is when Jeanie begins to panic
We have to sign a waiver with or social security number
If you had been in the presence of an ex-Navy seal
John comes over and lays down 9mm pistols in front of us
Jeanie looses her color, "I'm trapped in this steal room with pulverizing bullets"
More instructions on how to hold the gun
He helps Jeanie out arm over arm
We are not going to be Olympic competitors if rifle
Ready position
Jeanie pulled . . . and she melted
The Navy Seal saw it coming
He grabs her. Jeanie, "Bull shiiiit!"
All of the sudden there are stars in the sky
She is still standing right next me
I can't quit shaking
Do you need some water?
He grabs lapel, "We have a freaker"
He knew you were going to hit the road
Lodged, malfunction, strike the magazine
Bang, bang, b-bang
Shells are falling all around Betsy's Crocs
Betsy turns around with the gun and Jeanie hits the deck
That is just the beginning
Betsy, "It's OK to go Jeanie"
Trying to be encouraging while crying
Jeanie is the world's best friend
John2 at the front desk watches the uncontrollable shaky Jeanie
Do you want some oxygen?
Finally they send a car
Meanwhile back at Valhalla . . .
OK you shot'em in the head . . . but it doesn't mean they can't still kick your ass
You keep shooting till they don't move
The look on your face is the look in that picture!
John has made a very large impact on your life
I am going to take you to a live scenario room
If this were a long term course we would work on your startle reflex
Betsy is awesome with a pistol
They take Betsy into a biker bar with a terrorist
I know it went down but you've got to keep shooting them
So Betsy clears the room . . . "Clear and cold"
Fear of firearms
John, "We have one more room for you"
He walks Betsy into a biker bar scenario room
Your face baby, oh my god
So in the corner of the bar is a robber
All you can see is his head and arm because it was around a hostage
I turned and dropped him with one shot between the eyes
It was the best feeling that I ever had
So Kris this is what I am thinking . . . a well armed wife is a happy wife
"You cannot beat and armed woman"
They sold purses designed for your concealed weapon
I am putting it out there for birthday
Henry just erased everything off his board and wrote, "I win."
You might be the first person to be turned away at the Unitarian church
I was going to tell Elliot, "Mommy took down a terrorist today"
So now it is time to leave
Cold maze is a good maze
I think something that contributed to my discomfort was not breast feeding for 3 days
To the right of me is a breast pump going full speed
Betsy finished up . . . and says I got to get rid of this stuff
It's like the trucker's pee bombs
Yeah, except this is 90 proof
She looks out window and says, "Are you ready?"
Jeanie, "Why is it going to be beautiful? Is it going to turn into fairy dust"
Is this going to be amazing?
I gotta do this cool because there is a wind going
Betsy throws it out . . . and it comes right back at her
The inside of the Volvo is now covered with breast milk
We stop at the Continental Divide
You remember how I feel about high mountain roads
Betsy, keep talking to me, keep talking
Those nets are to catch landslides
You could have explained pump and dump
All of the sudden we see cable cars
"The highest point on highway 50"
It is gorgeous
I was not feeling well
Jeanie is shaking, exhausted and needs a pick me up
Betsy, what kind of fudge do you want
"What dude," Betsy says Colorado slow
I think that I am freaking out
Now we have to drive down the mountain
Fudge won't help anything
We made it down it ok
But we were following an RV
Can you use those for cars?
No you have to hit the mountain
The RV's brakes were on fire
It took us six hours to get home
That's it, installment 4 of Betsy and Jeanie's trip to Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla Shooting Club

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Tags: Remington Valhalla Shooting Club Linda Hogan Continental Divide shop Betsy Smith Jeanie Bowen

Betsy and her husband Kris Jun 22, 2007

Fri, 22 Jun 2007 09:10:41 -0400

Croncast - 2007-06-22.mp3
Show: #379
Length: 28:48
Size: 19.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jun 22, 2007

Tickets are on sale now for the live show . . . get your's or find out more

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Kris is funny too
Well, you should be . . . you've been learning for years from me
I should call you "lady ambiguity"
You are like the thing on Lost that traverses the forest
I went through the basement windows
Locked in the basement
I am proud of you Kris, there could have been a jar at your feet
I call the house phone from my cell
Could have opened it with a pair of scissors
You who took the certified to sell the house class
Kris has a cold
Ah, you are so dramatic
So just tell your story Mr. B
I gave up on all of you trying save me
Who's the dumb ass now
It sucks to be locked in a little box doesn't it?
You can hold it till she gets home
I used the escape exit from the basement
Turns out I am not as fat as I think I am
Kris's body dysmorphic disorder
How did you get out of the well?
Very easy, big man struggling out of a small hole
I'm glad it happened
When I met people who listen to the show last year they figured I weighed 800 lbs
The commenter has to be new to the show
Or it is Betsy's mom
Thank you for caring
It doesn't look terrible
Betsy has a lot of stuff
I give Betsy a hard time and she gives me one too
It is part of our schtick
Bety's hair now looks like Eddie Vedder from 1991
Oh, I forgot to tell you
You know how when you are old and you see young kids and say, "They are dressing like that now"
I almost laughed right at them
The hair metal look appears to be back with the kids
You can mess with the Slayer they are not a hair band
The awkward dopey kids
Checking their hair in the mirror
How the hell did I not ever have clue?
That was you nearly 20 years ago
Sweet Pea let me tell you about these boys
The guilty red neck pleasure that Kris has been indulging in
No preventative care for yourself?
The water bottle carrier
Get a really thick leather man belt
One that says Denis Austin?
No
Bad ass dudes don't give away their belts, they wear them till they fall off
Speaking of jugs
I went T-shirt shopping for you tonight Kris
Margarita Team
Tommy Bahama| ZZ Top on the Apple TV
Selling off the audio equipment for tax loot
Show quality will change a bit, but I am on it today

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Tags: Tommy Bahama Margarita Team the creature from Lost ZZ Top proud of Kris

Safari public beta it isn't working on XP MCE for me

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 15:04:49 -0400

Safari is looking good on my pc.

So good, in fact, that after reboot, uninstall and reinstall it remains the Paris Hilton of my browsers. Sure, it looks sort of pretty but we all know it would rather be off partying with the other beautiful children instead of being locked up on my VAIO . See below.

Tags: Safari for PC Safari on Windows Mac vs PC new battle ground

Quickcam10.exe will break your Thunderbird 2 install or upgrade

Thu, 19 Apr 2007 08:11:15 -0400

Thought I would be cool and upgrade to Thunderbird 2 this morning from verion 1.5. Thunderbird is my trusty email program that keeps me connected to the outside world . . . my window to the world from the Smith manpit.

As a user for the last three years I know better:

than to have thunderbird or firefox open during upgrade
not back up the address book
not backup my email

Did my duty, began the install and kaput, "Error . . . r\n\r\nmozMapi32.dll . . .". Shit! But not a big surprise given my Thunderbird upgrade experiences.

Did my searches for the dll and ended up in a couple of places that didn't help but this one did.

Solution:

stop Quickcam10.exe (yeah, bizarre)
run install again
rejoice that the email gods have smiled upon you

Tags: mozMapi32.dll nmozMapi32.dll Thunderbird 2 Quickcam10.exe Thunderbird upgrade error

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr 09, 2007

Mon, 09 Apr 2007 09:44:32 -0400

Croncast - 2007-04-09.mp3
Show: #347
Length: 33:23
Size: 22.9mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris April 9, 2007

Kris is back from New York
Betsy starts drawing pictures of my forhead
Elliot, "Do you remember what happened after you had Maggie and you had beans in your arm?"
Lima beans in hosiery
It's April 9th . . . shouldn't the Unitarians be out burning something?
It's that time of year the fertility time
Unitarians have three open arms
The variety is what scares me
I like knowing that I can travel nearly 1000 miles from home
Look out my window and see McDonalds, Starbucks and a Friday's
Beyond the pavement
Town after town after town
Mr B, you're getting to be a worldly dude
I knew I was going to get yelled at
Everyday, I knew it was growing
No there was nothing going on Sunday
I should have left Saturday night
I had a really awesome time
Some people get to see Times Square . . . Croncast style I get to meet Geraldo
The News Corp Walk of fame
Big shout out to Jodi! Thank you so much for the tour. It was great to meet you!
I saw Bill O'reilly people getting Bill O'Reilly-ish
The nameplates, check these out
After the nameplates I come upon the General Lee of broadcasting
Check out the tattoos
They're not prison quality there old school
Right, your grandfather didn't have tattoos?
Not my side of the family, well mine did
So what did they look like?
Bill O'reilly on Anna Nicole's body?
No I'm sure he's going out to get that one later that day
Hey Nike listener's were calling you on the tour if you're down for August
Yeah these tours are cool, not the bus tour style
It's really cool to get these opportunities
Our listeners are really interesting folks
Have to say this . . . the people at Fox were great
Betsy was impressed by Jodi's purse
Coming to Seattle at the beginning of August
Mommy's depressed and daddy is out having fun
We're going to Atlanta in late August also
Let me tell you about my little General Lee
Betsy fills out the adopt-the-doggie-app
"One old lady should take care of another"
That sounds like a lesbian love ad
It doesn't sound like adopt a schnauzer?
The Red Hat Society, no sex . . . movies and chocolate
The doggies adopt out lady is the alpha dog
You're going to force me into buying one from a puppy mill
I need to see your two year old and the dog interact in a cage match
Elliot was a little gentleman
This woman is screening my children

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Tags: Geraldo The New Yorker Hotel Fox News Bill O'Reilly PodCampNYC Unitarian Holidays

Catch up with us while we are on break

Sun, 04 Mar 2007 09:18:23 -0500

For those of you with a desire to catch up with the show while we are on hiatus (cause that is what they call it in the biz, ha!).I have created some really kick ass automated RSS feeds that do some cool stuff.

The first is the catch up with us in 22 days. The podcasts are sent one for every weekday in March. The 22 archive shows were selected by Mike Marusin, Betsy and myself as a retrospective of what a Croncast listener might like to hear again and a newbie should hear for the first time, like the vacation shows.

The second is a feed that will send you a new show every weekday until we quit doing the show. Seriously, it will just keep sending you a new show every weekday out of the archive from with the date you sign up. Enjoy!

Feel free to ping me or leave a comment with any feedback you might have.

Catch up in 22 weekdays

Catch up in 22 weekdays RSS

ARCHIVES - There are a few ways to download archived shows besides clicking the green "download" button for every single show.

1. This way is kind of cool . . . one show sent to you every weekday from our first show all the
way to most recent. Chances are you won't catch up to the newest shows with this feed but
it is a way to get a Croncast every weekday to brighten your morning commute!

Get this feed (only available from the Archives Page).

2. Start from the very beginning and load up! Subscribe to each one of these feeds to
to download the archives. I would do one RSS feed but it exceeds the "valid" size limit
of 200k used by most readers. How's that for nerdy?

Novemer 8, 2004 to April 31, 2005

May 1, 2005 to October 31, 2005

November 1, 2005 to April 31, 2006

May 1, 2006 to October 31, 2006

November 1, 2006 to Today!

3. Stream a playlist with iTunes, Windows Media Player or WinAmp

Tags: moderated media consumption Croncast archive feeds catch up in 22 days mm rss feeds moderated media feeds moderated media rss