yours | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

The San Antonio, Doddering Bus Surfers, UES

Wed, 14 Apr 2010 09:14:17 -0500

Episode: #614
Length: 31:21
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Those embarrassing moments
Like smelling yourself
Baby, you looked like a pigeon
The beauty of marriage
Not really, honey
Just behave normally
That's how I will pick up the next one
The Freudian slips begin
Who is the hot lady standing at my door?
Oh, that is my wife
Whew!
I can hit on her full force
Beauty to bloodhound or Bloodhound to beauty
Betsy telling the Wheel of Fortune story grows
It has a life of its own
How I won my to Upper East Side
Sounds way better than paid off my credit cards, wah wah
No affairs with shirtless men
Nothing
Making the sacrifice
The relationship that you have with the city
And scene
Here come his stand ins
Ready to make cat calls
I did not get to go to circus school
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: ASPCA cat doddering bus surfer upper east side san antonio

Bloodhound to Beauty, Circus School, Freudian Slip

Mon, 12 Apr 2010 12:18:18 -0500

Episode: #613
Length: 25:12
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Tags: circus school freudian slip NYC bloodhound to beauty

Season 24 Ep 13: The Shorty Croncast

Mon, 12 Apr 2010 12:04:20 -0500

Episode: #613 The Croncast Shorty
Length: 4:03
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

Tags: smell yourself freudian slip NYC bloodhound to beauty

Legless Junker, iPad Love, Birthday Booze

Sat, 10 Apr 2010 11:21:46 -0500

Episode: #612
Length: 29:00
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Fixing the iPhone streaming issue
Apple is tough on this
One day it just quit working
I feel like the worm in the Apple
I have a new enemy, Kris . . . red wine
I've seen you use a Night Train bottle as a pillow
Can you just breathe in my face
Birthday party and free booze
You lack control
Drinking with the ladies means sleeping on the bathroom floor
You are 34
That is too classy
You can't throw up in front of the baby sitter
Your pillow next to the bath tub
5 feet 9 and your feet are hanging out into the hallway
If I took a photo people would think it's a crime scene
The last time I got that drunk . . .
Please, do you hear yourself
Well, you're not a lady
Love hanging with the nerds
You can't bring McDonalds in the cab when you're gonna puke
We were like two Hummers walking down the sidewalk
Chatting with the baby sitter
I love your iPad
I am going to wear the same clothes out tonight
After I spray myself with Febreeze
Back to Illinois
Garage sale times
He passed me
Legless junker
The 1995 Barbie was the prize
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: birthday booze baby sitter iPad love legless junker custom scooter

Season 24 Ep 12: Croncast Shorty

Sat, 10 Apr 2010 11:07:32 -0500

Episode: #612 The Croncast Shorty
Length: 4:34
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

Tags: birthday booze baby sitter iPad love legless junker custom scooter

Bundle of flowers or bale of hay?

Sat, 23 May 2009 10:05:19 -0500

I am trying to be cute here. After testing out the Google Reader Bundle feature yesterday I came to the quick conclusion that it is a step in the right direction but closer to a bale of hay than a bundle of flowers.

Do you know what goes into a bale of hay? I learned in my years of small town living . . . a 100 plus pounds of unorganized hay and two brown pieces of twine. They're heavy as hell to lift from the bailer, the machine that scrapes up the hay from the field, and only those with the patience to wear long sleeves, jeans and gloves in 90 degree heat are allowed the privilege of participating while they are fresh.

Google Reader's Bundle feature has more similarities to this analogy than I would care to admit. And, yes, when I demoed it I made sure to put on a flannel shirt, Lee jeans and some mittens - the closest thing I now own to leather workman's gloves.

So, here's what I've got for you - there's plenty of room for improvement.

People don't want whole feeds combined to make one massive feed filled with content from the highest level filter that exists, publishers. Well, maybe they do if that is all that you offer. Granular access to content isn't the Holy Grail or what is next . . . it is simply how it should be.

And besides, there have been utilities to combine feeds like this for years. Do you know any of these product names beyond Yahoo Pipes? Remembering Pipes is easy because the last time you used it you told yourself you would never do it again.

A Google Reader Bundle has a web page and a feed . . . an Atom feed, not an RSS feed. Enough said here, it needs a RSS feed. The Atom feed itself is missing critical meta data like title, description, pub date, source, feed item origin, publisher, etc.

As a publisher, my concerns about this initial release of the bundle feature are the missing RSS feed and the lack of associated meta data for the content that makes the bundle. Which begs the next question of what metric is available to know how much additional syndication my content is getting once it has entered the Google Reader Bundle ecosystem? Currently there isn't one that is publicly available and I would venture to say that not for a very long time, if ever, there will be one offered.

With some more work Google can bring new features and hopefully a full set of tools that users and publishers can both use. But in this current state it is still in an insular silo of Google user nerdom. Yes, it still is a walled garden of content, of sharing and privileged consumption. It is a bale of hay.

Tags: Google Reader Bundle RSS feeds bale of hay Atom feeds

Thanks to NYC meetup listeners!

Mon, 18 May 2009 09:38:52 -0500

Now that we've got a little room to breath, both of us wanted to thank everyone that came out for the New York meetup.

Sure it's a little belated but you get it!

It was great to meet all of you and hea your crazy stories . . . it's not wonder we get along so well! Don't worry about knowing more about us than we do you. After you were sufficiently filled with booze and food you told us everything about yourselves ;-).

We're looking forward to the next meetup and the next sets of episodes coming shortly.

Tags: New York Croncast meetup nyc

another look

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 20:37:34 -0500

in the last close up you could really see betsy in her face, but this furrowed brow belongs to yours truly.

Tags: belongs yours truly brow furrowed

caught bugs

Tue, 06 May 2008 12:18:49 -0500

the kids have been carring this thing around for days.

it is full of bugs, spiders and slugs.

i recommend a bug hut for you and yours. keeps the kids busy and makes for interesting conversation.

Tags: bugs kids keeps yours busy

Croncast Listener Survey Results

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 18:28:13 -0500

Well, we've shared with you, and now you've shared with us. Below is the survey data that over 200 of you filled out during the past year. I thought you guys might like to see what other listeners think of the show (good and bad), spend online, how much loot they make, if they have or don't have kids and a ton of other stuff.

Thanks for sharing!

Update: Likes and Dislikes have been moved to their own post.

Demographics
What is your age?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	<12	1	1%
	18-24	8	4%
	25-34	90	42%
	35-44	83	39%
	45-54	22	10%
	55-64	9	4%
Totals		213	100%

What is your gender?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	Male	118	55%
	Female	95	45%
Totals		213	100%

What is the highest level of education you have achieved?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	Less than high school graduate	3	1%
	Graduated high school or received equivalent degree (e.g., GED)	9	4%
	Attended college but did not graduate	40	19%
	Graduated from 2-year college	23	11%
	Graduated from 4-year college	79	37%
	Masters Degree	44	21%
	Doctoral Degree	10	5%
	Other Professional Degree (MD, LLB, etc)	5	2%
Totals		213	100%

Please indicate which best describes the total combined income before taxes of all members of your household.
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	Under $5,000	5	3%
	$10,000 - $19,999	5	3%
	$20,000 - $29,999	12	6%
	$30,000 - $39,999	15	7%
	$40,000 - $49,999	12	6%
	$50,000 - $59,999	25	12%
	$60,000 - $74,999	20	10%
	$75,000 - $99,999	32	16%
	$100,000 - $149,999	53	26%
	$150,000 - $199,999	16	8%
	$200,000 or over	9	4%
Totals		204	100%

What is your employment status?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	Full-time (35 hours or more)	156	73%
	Part-time (less than 35 hours)	16	8%
	Student	12	6%
	Retired	5	2%
	Temporarily unemployed	1	1%
	Homemaker	19	9%
	Other	4	2%
Totals		213	100%

What is your current marital status?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	Married	146	70%
	Single, never married	45	21%
	Divorced or Separated	18	9%
	Widowed	1	1%
Totals		210	100%

Counting yourself, how many people are currently living in your household?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	1	24	11%
	2	67	32%
	3	39	19%
	4	54	26%
	5	20	10%
	6	3	1%
	7	1	1%
	8	2	1%
Totals		210	100%

How many children under the age of 18 are currently living in your household?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	None	103	49%
	One	38	18%
	Two	48	23%
	Three	15	7%
	Four	3	1%
	Five	1	1%
	More than Five	1	1%
Totals		209	100%

Which of the following best describes your primary place of residence?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	I rent the apartment/co-op/condo where I live	35	17%
	I rent the house in which I live	21	10%
	I own the co-op/condominium where I live	6	3%
	I own the house in which I live	137	65%
	Other	11	5%
Totals		210	100%

What language is spoken most often in your household?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	English	203	95%
	Spanish	1	1%
	German	2	1%
	Norwegian	1	1%
	Other, Please Specify	7	3%
Totals		214	100%

Purchasing
Have you shopped online in the past 30 days?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	Yes	194	92%
	No	16	8%
Totals		210	100%

How much did you personally spend on internet order items in the last 12 months?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	Nothing	4	2%
	$1-$49	8	4%
	$50-$99	13	6%
	$100-$199	23	11%
	$200-$499	52	25%
	$500-$799	35	17%
	$800+	76	36%
Totals		211	100%

How often did you attend the movies in the last 90 days (3 months)?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	Once a week or more	3	1%
	2-3 times a month	21	10%
	Once a month	50	24%
	Less than once a month	71	34%
	I did not attend the movies in the last 90 days	66	31%
Totals		211	100%

When did your household last purchase or lease a vehicle?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	In the past 12 months	57	27%
	1-2 years ago	52	25%
	3-4 years ago	54	26%
	5 or more years ago	35	17%
	My household does not own or lease a vehicle	11	5%
Totals		209	100%

How many credit/debit cards do you own?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	None	9	4%
	1	25	12%
	2	62	30%
	3	42	21%
	4	38	19%
	5	11	5%
	6 or more	17	8%
Totals		204	100%

How much did you spend for computer software for home use in the past 12 months?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	Nothing	37	18%
	$1 - $99	49	24%
	$100 - $199	37	18%
	$200 - $299	38	19%
	$300 - $499	18	9%
	$500 or more	25	12%
Totals		204	100%

Careers
How large is the organization in which you work?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	Less than 20 employees	28	18%
	20 to 99 employees	24	16%
	100 to 999 employees	40	26%
	1,000+ employees	60	39%
	I don't know	2	1%
Totals		154	100%

In which industry does your company primarily operate?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	Arts/Entertainment/Recreation	6	4%
	Banking/Finance/Insurance	12	8%
	Business Services	4	3%
	Computer Hardware	4	3%
	Education	18	12%
	Government/Military/Defense	14	9%
	Internet	11	7%
	IT - Systems Integration	13	9%
	Manufacturing	8	5%
	Media	4	3%
	Medical/Healthcare	14	9%
	Professional, Scientific, & Technical Services	7	5%
	Real Estate	4	3%
	Retail/Distribution/Import/Export	3	2%
	Telecommunications	2	1%
	Other, Please Specify	29	19%
Totals		153	100%

What is your job title?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	Chairman/CEO/COO/Partner/President/Owner/Principal	11	7%
	EVP/General Manager	1	1%
	Vice President	5	3%
	Director	8	5%
	Manager	38	25%
	Staff - non management employee	90	59%
Totals		153	100%

With which of the following job functions are you primarily involved?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	Arts/Creative/Design	6	3%
	Business Development/Strategic Planning	7	4%
	Consulting	11	6%
	Customer Service	8	4%
	Education/Teaching	11	6%
	Engineering	1	1%
	Executive	4	2%
	Finance	7	4%
	Healthcare Provider	4	2%
	Human Resources	4	2%
	IT Services	27	15%
	Legal Services	2	1%
	Production/Operations	19	11%
	Research	5	3%
	Sales/Marketing	6	3%
	Software Development	2	1%
	Technology Support/Help Desk	6	3%
	Other, Please Specify	51	28%
Totals		181	100%

Listening Habits
Do you subscribe to the RSS feed for this show?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	Yes	188	83%
	No, I listen to or watch this show without subscribing	39	17%
Totals		227	100%

How many episodes of this online show have you listened to or watched?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	None (I just saw this link to the survey on the site)	1	0%
	2-3	1	0%
	4-5	3	1%
	6 or more	223	98%
Totals		228	100%

How often do you listen to or watch this show?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	I always listen to/watch each new episode	211	94%
	I sometimes listen to/watch each new episode	11	5%
	I rarely listen to/watch each new episode	2	1%
Totals		224	100%

About how much of each show episode do you generally listen to or watch?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	I always listen to/watch the entire episode	215	96%
	Usually at least 75%	10	4%
Totals		225	100%

On average, how many times do you listen to or watch each episode?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	One time	210	93%
	Two times	13	6%
	Three times	2	1%
Totals		225	100%

How do you most often listen to this podcast?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	On my computer	60	29%
	On my MP3, iPod or other portable player	141	68%
	On my cell phone	2	1%
	Other, Please Specify	3	2%
Totals		206	100%

How do you most often listen to or watch this podcast?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	On an iPod, MP3 player or other portable device with NO Internet capabilites	17	90%
	On an iPhone, PSP, cell phone, or other portable device with Internet capabilities while NOT connected to the Internet	1	5%
	Other, Please Specify	1	5%
Totals		19	100%

Satisfaction
Subject	Importance	Satisfaction	Gap
Audio Quality	8.22	9.53	-1.31
Video Quality	3.29	5.43	-2.14
Overall Quality	8.66	9.38	-0.72
Content	9.05	9.10	-0.05
Host(s)	9.32	9.52	-0.20
Reliability (new episodes available when promised)	7.77	9.04	-1.27
Length of episodes	7.07	8.82	-1.75
Frequency of new episodes	7.78	9.02	-1.24
Placement of ads or sponsorships in podcast	4.44	8.25	-3.81
Website design	5.40	7.86	-2.46
Website content	5.77	8.00	-2.23
Overall Satisfaction		9.31

Tags: Croncast Survey Kris Smith Betsy Smith Advertise Cronast Demographics

Season 20 Ep 5: El Camino, Cafe Krisay, Tell All Your Friends

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 14:46:38 -0500

Croncast - 2008-04-17.mp3
Show: #480
Length: 32:24
Size: 22.3 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2007 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

Short ones this time
Before you even open your trap, Betsy
And clean the lint from yours
Nice tight and concise . . .
Here is what happens with Croncast at 500
When they put the B before the K
Doesn't sound right to me
We are going to re-brand the show
And move to one day a week . . .
But, BUT, you the listener could get it up to two or even three days
Do tell, Kris
Do you remember "Tell a Friend Friday"?
Evo told tons of people
So for the next 20 shows you need to tell all of your people to listen to Croncast
At 500 shows if we double audience size we will go to two days a week
At 500 shows if we have tripled the audience size we will do three days a week
So you've got to get to it
Hopefully it will spread like herpes, Kris
The El Camino is coming back
I want a truck minivan combo
They are missing the boat
Poor customers service
Smoke starts coming out of holes where espresso is supposed to come out
I inhale deeply the scent of burnt coffee and plastic
How not to buy a hermit crab

Tags: espresso machine hermit crab el camino tyf

Season 20 Ep 1: Season 20, Sybaris, Lime Gatorade

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:40:01 -0500

Croncast - 2008-04-04.mp3
Show: #476
Length: 29:53
Size: 20.5 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

My brain gears are spinning
I can't even speak
I don't hear voices
Genetic tendency to be a gear head
No I don't think
Kris has a weird cough
I feel burned by the Radio Shopping Show
How can you get burned by them?
They stuck it to me
No
The hotel we got for $100+ a night
Turns out I can get it on Expedia for $63 a night
Oh, baby
Was it an Expedia deal?
You can get them that cheap
You end up with a bed mate
Not even the Sybaris
Do they have them other places?
We'll talk Sybaris later
And I found out that . . .
The bathroom is shared
Shared by who?
Everyone on our floor
Convincing yourself the stay will be fabulous
I am letting Jeanie pick the itinerary
Smart move
Betsy line for locals. . .
Get ready for it Jeanie
"My last name is really Shilts. My uncle was Randy Shilts."
Shut up
You'll be using it to try to get dinner reservations
I could use that the Sybaris
Me working at home is driving you crazy
Well we are in to month 16 of it
No I will not be doing yard work
Well, on Monday we should be square on some stuff
We'll have a bit of news

Tags: Shilts San Francisco Moser Hotel Sybaris Jeanie

Rant: Strategic blog commenting? Strategic tweeting?

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 08:23:42 -0500

Listen up Mr. and Mrs. internet marketer, your actions are sour, insincere and totally transparent as to your desire to dupe someone into clicking your link in an attempt to make a buck. You are full of shit and we know it. And, your students suck even worse at it.

Here is one example of "strategic blog commenting" by an idiot following the advice to get Google alerts for keywords related to his/her own site:

"Thank you for providing such useful info about dogs. The picture at this page is beautiful and love to eat one, look delicious." - Internet Marketing Douche Bag (real name hidden to protect the innocent)

The user email was admin@ourdataentry.com and the user URL linked back to a site about dog care. I'd say contextually there is something amiss here since the photo, other comments and title all indicated that the post was about hot dogs.

In this group I am not talking solely about the automated comment spammers that originally made our lives miserable but this new wave of get rich quick, "My internet marketing coach told me to do this" and internet marketing coaches, themselves.

As you and your people strive for authenticity, I believe that is one or your credos, maybe that term is no longer used, but you are about as authentic as a Gucci purse at a swap meet.

The entire reason for this post is because the comment above showed up next to a message from twitter that I was now being followed by 'helpmycashgrow'. Are you kidding me? You people make my head hurt. He also dropped this gem - "At work right now, at least i'm "supposed" to be working". Sir, you give me the confidence to let you help me grow my cash.

So now that people are strategic tweeting as a piece of their better mouse trap I would also like to call out the ass kissers on twitter, those trying to make an impression with someone that they don't know by disparaging another twitter user who comments directly with the person you are trying to kiss up to. Just don't do it. Might turn out that the disparaged and the ass kissee are good friends and the ass kissees other friends read that you are disparaging their friend.

Again we can see you for what you are but when you stoop to a troll level it is even more apparent that you have nothing to add except a desire to, as you perceive it, move up the food chain.

My hope is that you will all go back to infomercials and ripping off the elderly with home improvement scams. But I am guessing your type is here to stay and I just need to get better at filtering you out.

Tags: Internet Marketing Coaches Suck Teach Yourself and Save Your Money

Season 19 Ep 26: Kick Ass Mustache, Spilled Coffee, Toe Rings

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 10:54:07 -0500

Croncast - 2008-03-28.mp3
Show: #473
Length: 11:17
Size: 7.84 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Shout to Mike Dunn
You are digging yourself a hole Kris
Walking in NYC is not like walking anywhere else on the planet
Like a mommy in the morning?
Putting on deodorant walking down the block
Not one person looked at me sideways
Don't ask him for money
I love New York
I want to live someplace with a goat
They won't let me have a goat in New York
Well, when it poops they would see it
People just might want to eat your goat
It would poop and you would chasing chocolate marbles on the sidewalk
She had toe rings
That was it getting on the plane
The kids keep going ape
I knock her Starbucks down and spill it
I am in row one, so I can get out quick
I really wanted to help this woman
Especially, when the chubby hamster next to you spills your coffee
She says, "Let me clean it up"
She put on her toe rings thinking today would be different
Did you get a toe ring to the face?
Turns out to be Billy Bob Thornton?
No
He was four Billy Bobs
Did you put on deodorant before you got on the plane?
When the person next to you seeks comfort
She starts weeping
I felt like such an asshole
It was not just the coffee it was the culmination of lots of things
We really need to go
And that is it. This is such a short show.
The kids are wired
Spilled Coffee
Kris is sick
Regular shows and show notes Monday.

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

Tags: New York City toe rings Mike Dunn mustache spilled coffee

Season 19 Ep 21: John Adams, Hershey's Floor, Lock Picking Kit

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 08:30:15 -0500

Croncast - 2008-03-17.mp3
Show: #468
Length: 30:01
Size: 20.7mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

It's been a couple weeks
It's good to hear your voice baby
Stasis soon, I said
That was work
Thanks to Josh Bancroft for the message
Betsy was just attacked
It is no one else's fault but yours
You are to blame
I was watching a show about John Adams on HBO
Which is a sign your balls are reaching your knees
What were you watching?
Oprah's Big Give
I heard it is horrible
Yeah, it is pretty bad
Mom decided to go to bed
I thought I would pick up her old dog and carry it upstairs
I am talking about my empathy for this cold hearted bitch
I reach down to pick up the dog
And what do I get
That bitch attacked me with her one good tooth
She inserted it viciously into the palm of my hand
I got the hysterical laughs
Don't make me put the dog to sleep
She was laying on a piece of Zeus's bone
That is why she bit
I know
This is on page one of your baby book
Your mom tried to get your dad to do something he shouldn't
You love chaos in your life
Why else would I be married to you?
You look at a situation that appears to be calm
And you can find the chaos
How can you disagree with me?
I can't
That brings me to a story Mr. B
Jeanie is moving on up
Up where
Here you doofus
You neglected to notice that your children aren't in school
You have set precedence with this
Yeah, I have dropped him off twice with no school
Hello
So we take Elliot with us to go and look at rental homes
That is a good idea
Jeanie calls up a property management company
We have three houses lined up
Is that foreshadowing? Is that what they call it in the biz?
For $1100 a month what do you get?
The lemon yellow peeling paint house
It was made for a Model A
If you kick out the stick it all would have fell down
Couldn't tell where the house was
How could you not?
We saw it and the Psycho music played
Jeanie is polite
We went through with it
Why?
Maybe there is something fabulous here
Gluttons for punishment you are
I used to launch my He-Man action figure from the cloths line
Nifty, I feel robbed
If you only had one He-Man toy why did you treat him so bad?
They would have changed my name to Poindexter
You'll understand that when we open the side door
It was a smelly out of Cops house
The poor wife who was shackled to the bastard who owned
I am going to laugh because I am scared
Different paint in rooms
Different borders
This one looks like your mom put it up after a bottle of Smirnoff and Scope
The boards on the floor didn't even touch
No one sanded the floor they just painted it brown
It was a Hershey's floor with gaps
Slops of brown
At the next house he can't find the key
He busts out a lock picking kit
The place looks beautiful
But we see a ring around the walls
It had flooded and they never cleaned it up
I looked behind the wet bar
There were mushrooms growing out of the baseboards

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

Tags: He Man Jeanie lock picking kit rental house Oprah's Big Give

Season 19 Ep 19: The Mr. B's, Conspiracy, School Stories

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 12:38:19 -0600

Croncast - 2008-02-25.mp3
Show: #465
Length: 33:15
Size: 22.9mb
Format: mp3

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I'm busy, I got things to do Mr B
No replacements.com did not sponsor the last Resale Queen
Avenue for Revenue
You should use that your service
The road to cash is paved with stoneware
The cartoon, thank you
It's not funny
I don't need to take look or a photo
It's like you are Mooney
The 1980's kerfuffle
How often do you ask yourself, "who owns the building I am in?"
Are you going to play cops and robbers in the afterlife?
They have diversified in weaponry
Designed and patented his own handguns
I don't know any of them
You are crazy
Are you a Moonie Kris?
I am way undercover
Betsy volunteers weekly for Elliot's art class
It isn't volunteer anymore I am requested
Even as an adult I am afraid of the principal
Now they will punish my child
You have issues
What?
He touched another girl inappropriately
What happened?
The only job of a principle is to make sure school district doesn't get sued
That could be true
The whole "gun" hands on the playground
That's true
What happens at the private school?
I went to a Christian school for first grade
No way!
Let me remind you I skipped a grade
How could I forget
He kept guns in his office

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

Tags: iPod kerfuffle racoons christian school sheep barn

Season 19 Ep 13: The Coffee Drinker, Whip Antennae, CB Radio Booty Call

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 09:54:53 -0600

Croncast - 2008-02-06.mp3
Show: #459
Length: 29:08
Size: 20.0mb
Format: mp3

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BigJon wanted to know who "The Coffee Drinker" is
Suspense, I don't how we did it
The Coffee Drinker background
Has something to do with CB Radios
The big whip antennae's on trucks
If you had two you were the shit
So some ladies would come on night and ask for "The Coffee Drinker"
We thought it might be a kid like us
A sophisticated kid drinking Folgers with their folks
Could have been the farmers having coffee
Water and syrup falls on ice in cup
Too much for a small town person to handle
Yeah, you need training to run the fountain soda dispenser
The old guys brought in a scanner
The Coffee Drinker wouldn't reply back
Of course he wouldn't
Kris, you need some help
Get yourself something nice when I don't talk
Cruising around in the morning
How do you know who his kid is?
Bill had some issues
He had rebel flag stickers on his car, no one really liked him and he listened to too much AC/DC
He says, that The Coffee Drinker was his dad
His dad tilled my garden every year
Is that why you are the way you are?
Maybe I should have said tilled my mom's garden
You gotta use the lingo
Smokey and the bandit style
A CB radio booty call
It's not the one that you are thinking of
They are like nannies
Small town = "Not my business"
I think I need to resurrect this story
You can't just end there
You have to come with conviction
Your car won't want to stop
These people just let life happen to them
Until something forces them to move on
No lapping waves at their shore
Lots of driving around happens
He pulled you over because he wanted to talk to you
Where I'm from men can't do that
You're with that Smith boy, ain't you
Johnny law vs. the high school kids
Typical
They don't have any training
This is how you hit'em with the yellow pages
This is how you hit'em with the white pages
He was throwing the beers out the sun roof
Straight up in the air
The cop is dodging our beer cans
You left a trail of beer crumbs for him to follow
It was late at night they could have been anyone's beers
There were a lot of drunk bunnies and chipmunks the next morning
What should you do in that situation?
Full circle in your life would be becoming the town cop

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

View Kris's resume or download it

Tags: CB Radio The Coffee Drinker rebel flag stickers drunk bunnies sun roof

Twitter background guidelines

Sun, 27 Jan 2008 10:21:12 -0600

Ever wanted to make an interesting Twitter background? Here's how I did it.

Side note: This post comes to you straight from an email reply to fellow long-time podcaster Michael Geoghegan in regards to my Twitter background.

Also of note, this layout works best on higher res monitor settings. I imagine that most active Twitter users that are going to be viewing the site as opposed to sms or mobile versions are on high res settings. That said, let's roll.

Creating your background
-----------------------------

File Dimensions: 2048 px by 1707 px (no clue why i used these dimensions but I am sure I knew what I was doing at the time)
Branding Dimensions: 80 px by 587 px
Coordinates: X=20, Y=14
Horizontal position: 20 px from the left (give yourself some padding)
Vertical position: 14 px from the top (will line up your graphic with the top of the twitter logo. our eyes like symmetry) File size and type according to Twitter: "Images must be smaller than 800k. GIF, JPG, PNG."

Aesthetics
------------

Color palette: Pick colors that match that with default Twitter stylesheet colors. If they contrast too much follow the Change Background directions above and change the colors for Text, Name, Link, Sidebar fill and Sidebar border as needed.
Recommendation: Choose colors that work with the default and save yourself the headache of matching the CSS to your image. Follow Twitter's lead.

Uploading your background
------------------------------

Change Default Background: Login and click 'Settings' >> click 'Design' >> Select 'Use my custom style below' radio button >> Upload your image

It took me quite a bit of time to get a background image that I was happy with. There was a lot of editing and uploading again, and again until I got it right. I would suspect if you're like me your experience will be much the same. So have patience when getting it just right. And remember that you are working within someone else's website and can't control all the features.

Update: This is the background that I based this tutorial on - Croncast background all by itself if you want to use it as a guide.

Here's my current background at work (note: it is now free-form) - http://twitter.com/croncast.

Tags: template size twitter background Michael Geoghegan twitter

Season 19 Ep 9: Casey's Bags, The Breakups, Groups of two

Fri, 25 Jan 2008 10:44:44 -0600

Croncast - 2008-01-25.mp3
Show: #455
Length: 26:05
Size: 18.0mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here!
Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

You know the comments have been light
You haven't been on Kris
People said they loved the mono story
But that shit was a total downer, Kris
You can't keep going parking with those ladies
I lived out every Bruce Springsteen song, ever
Small town birth control: Casey's bag
Some hostess snowballs and a bag
You date leans over and says thanks for the birth control
Who wants to buy condoms from their conservative cousins
She thinks you got long johns and condoms
We actually went out together
Sure I hadn't left in two weeks
It snowed a foot of snow and the road was open
Our driveway looks like a demolition derby
Still has your parked car on it
I had a dream about running for Treasurer in Naperville
We won't be selling the car
Betsy, right now
Small web job saved it for now
The big things are next
Things are turning around for you Mr B
We went to Silicon Prairie
I hate that name
I love it, Kris
It could be changed to Farm Hand Geeks
Or even Country Coders
The had Rock Band and that was fun
Sure, Dave Bost and Larry from Microsoft were there
They are Microsoft Evangelists
Why don't you have an xbox?
I don't spend money on games
Get a rhumba from Goodwill
They're charging more than eBay
It's even first generation
So you get on Rock Band
My first band broke up during the first song
You guys sucked
But then you moved to the lead singer
You nailed it
Do you have "Short, short man by 20 fingers?"
You have such a love for old school Chicago house
The same drum
Can I clue you in to rock
The same song for the last 30 years
It's like ick, Kris
House music is all about feeling good
Did your mom just happen to be on street corner in Davenport, IA?
It's not a boob without nipple
Yeah, it's all cleavage without it
Not really
Good, when I see you come on stage I hate you
Better, to know that you hate yourself too
Now lets have some fun
New curriculum for ever class
That is not the school you want to go to
Betsy, you are too dirty
Yeah, news flash
I have all these shows for you to point out what's wrong with me
My checklist is all filled in
Tomorrow: Resale Queen Podcast by 9 a.m. CST
Topic: What you need in your resale kit
Shout out to Yoosun Lee in NYC

View Kris's resume or download it

Tags: Rock Band Silicon Prairie Dave Bost Microsoft Evangelist Davenport

Season 19 Ep 4: Volvo Petting Zoo, Butter Dish, The Wheel

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 08:20:21 -0600

Croncast - 2008-01-14.mp3
Show: #450
Length: 38:50
Size: 26.7mb
Format: mp3

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New intro music keeps on rolling along
Posts are the items in the site
I think you lost dad at upload
That could be the catch phrase from a nerd movie
"You had me at upload"
Having the love of a nerd is like that of a Golden Retriever
The red in their eyes
Like the bloodhounds
We'll get your's fixed someday
You can get side by side
And then I'll get you plastic surgery, the both of you
We do dis and dis, but not dis
I should have bitten his face
We took the dogs to the groomer
Changing deaf dogs name every three weeks
What does it matter?
You know what happens to 15 dogs right?
Sure, they die
No
The dog is walking around with cancer and a 13th nipple
Dog groomers should know better and look for lumps
The number one thing that gets skipped is the finger in the butt
No one wants to drain a dog
Let fail you
Betsy likens web designers with Goodwill
The two handed dog shave
Like she was swinging a bat
The last time they cut off a mole
It was like a half-dollar size
Don't feed her by hand
She wants to even the score
How many times has this dog been to the pound?
Thirteen times
Mom is nuts when we go to vet or groomer
Sure, your dog is big and he pees on your knees
When we hit the door little deaf dog freaked
I didn't realize she was that aware
Of course she is
Then my mom takes on the trauma of the dog
I know from the Dog Whisperer that is not how to act
The dog wants someone to lead
First of all, she's deaf
I want you to write that in big block letters
She needs to be drained, I can tell
Then she feels guilty for bringing in the dog
I know how this goes
Then my mom will decide to put the dog to sleep
It only has one duty . . . eat what Maggie drops
I swear Shih Tzus were designed to catch spaghetti on their head
Just do what is least invasive
Gonna put in a Jarvik .021?
In six months we'll be Shih Tzu shopping again
Your mom is the Kevorkian of the dog adoption world
I got Wheel of Fortune auditions today!!
I know you are so excited
The sounds you were making when you got the email
If I win money I'm buying a goat
This here is the only petting zoo in the entire nation delivered to you in a Volvo
Designer outlet mall parking lots would never be the same
Two dollars, don't touch my goat
You need to be comfortable
What not to do
I was freaking because I thought from your yell something was happening
Sure, like Maggie went face first into a hot stove
Nope, just The Wheel
Eeyor tells you how to overcome your fear of success PBS special
What happens when Betsy is on and knows it?
You get too over the top . . . just catch yourself and reel it in
Kris, quit with the analogies
I say this as your number one fan
I have been there for every party where you hold court
You'll be fine
Marcus hits my cart
He says, "who the hell are you?"
I ask where the butter dish is at
His reply, "Oooooooo oooooOOOO"
The manager walks up and taps me on the shoulder, "did you see that doll house?"

Tags: dollhouse Shih Tzu dog groomer butter dish Kevorkian

Season 19 Ep 3: Wheel of Fortune, Mailmen, Mrs. Coach

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 08:56:44 -0600

Croncast - 2008-01-11.mp3
Show: #449
Length: 28:23
Size: 19.5mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Leave us a comment anytime
After reading the comments I am starting to feel sad
Kris, don't feel sad . . . you'll change your mind
Real reasons
We just do it, it's become part of our day
We've become part of that
It's like a radio station
And they are playing Rod Stewart
What? Kris you have lost your mind
Would you rather I say Nazareth "Hair of the Dog"?
What are you talking about?
You should pre-screen your thoughts
Like a celebrity does
Wive's would love these things
Coming back from the long break
Saying things as opposed to telling stories
It was your birthday it made for a weird show
I have to go to the bank
I noticed you didn't buy your own cake
Yes, I needed to step it up and buy one
The bank was a ruse
Turns out the cake was frozen
Much like you
I couldn't really cut it
I told the kids it was an ice cream cake
I forgot to buy candles
Yeah, you made me blow out a lighter
It wasn't just a Bic
This is why being married to you is difficult
You should just say what I think
Kris starts telling Elliot about the lighter
All I can think is shut up, idiot
He doesn't need to know that stuff
I thought about the house burning down
You gotta pull the thing back and click
Mr B. I am so worried about the Wheel of Fortune audition
What am I going to wear?
What am I going to do with my hair?
I think you are projecting a bit
I am going to start combing my eyebrows over my forehead
I hit 33 and my eyebrows are out of control
Big eyebrows are creepy
I didn't say mono-brow
You think the producers are looking for middle America
A mom with pizzaz
I'm not sure I buy that
Maybe you should watch the show
Men wear suits . . . the same on that they wear to funerals and weddings
All the women wear pins
That reminds me of the coach story when you were helping Andy shop
Leave it up to your mom
She'll just buy it off QVC for you
The UPS man, the mail man and the garbage man all have our numbers
QVC delivered twice a day around here
The mail man knows everything that goes on in your life
She's got QVC on the tv and the laptop
The guy from the Queer Eye show is on, she yells
We wake up every Wednesday morning to breaking glass
The garbage man hates us
The QVC bags all end up scattered around the cul de sac
When I was a kid we got the neighbors mail for a week
I knew that he wasn't paying his bills
Water is a luxury
He spent all of his money on Jaguars and software
Baby, you got unfinished projects everywhere
It's typically the man
Feigning the CWI to watch prison shows
It was a very serious sledding injury
I can wear chest pads
Keeping up with the IRS
Just one of those things
Monday you be blinded by my bespangled sweater and snow man pin
I need to seem charming and wholesome
Don't tell them about the podcast
I already did
Well then you need to be yourself
Jeanie said I won't be funny in a pant suit
I disagree you would look very funny in a pant suit

Tags: Nazareth QVC Rod Stuart Wheel of Fortune Mrs. Coach

One of those moments

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 17:54:24 -0600

With so much going on around here - Croncast hiatus, kids on vacation, seeing old friends, the holidays and looking for a new job, I've got time to be both stressed and relaxed at the same time. Which, has my brain in a wildly creative state.

I was thinking about my life today, and more specifically my life with Betsy, and the circumstances in both of our lives when we knew each of the other was the "one". We had many of the same friends and participated in the same recreational activities but had not all that much in common. It was the right fit though!

Since that time, over 14 years ago, and like many married couples there have been good times and bad times. In all of these situations most of my memories of them include associations such as people, places and the emotions of those times.

As I was processing this out today while writing some code I was able to sum it up, if only to myself, like this - the only ghosts in this world are the ones that we create.

Life is all about choices. It's time to ring out the old and welcome the new!

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU AND YOURS!!!

Tags: New Year ghosts 2007 Croncast

Thanks Kore for the laughs!

Wed, 19 Dec 2007 10:22:24 -0600

Yesterday morning a comment came in from long time listener Kore Peterson with a very funny dancing Smith family on the other end of the link - Dancing Elf Smiths.

Thanks Kore for putting this together and sharing it!

Tags: elf dancing elves flash Kore Peterson Dancing Elf Smiths

What good are 3 hits from Google search results?

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 08:56:11 -0600

I can tell you. It all depends on what people are searching for.

Painfully obvious, right?

Well, not so much when someone searches at Google for intitle:"chocolate" ext:rss. The odds are astronomically high that even chocolate experts weren't even returned as results. See for yourself.

So what does this mean? It means that someone searched Google for a RSS feed (ext:rss) with the word chocolate in the title (intitle:"chocolate").

Yes, the search is more advanced than a keyword or phrase based search but that isn't my full point. The reason that it matters is that not only did this individual search for chocolate but also culture and abba. Not quite sure what it says about the person searching for those topics . . .

So for me, these three hits matter. They are three more than I would have normally received for those topics and a chance for me to get them to possibly subscribe to those feeds, subscribe to my podcast, click an ad (yes, I like money) or get my brand in front of them.

I am able to do this with keyword feeds that I create dynamically from posts that get the same SEO treatment that a normal webpage would get.

The other plus for this type of search is the fact that they return so few results and Croncast happens to be ranked #1 for most of them including searches like, say . . . "CNN" or "Micorsoft" or "iTunes".

I've had conversations with a friend, Rick Klau, about RSS feeds being indexed in Google search results. Most of those discussions focused on my saying that feeds should show up in search results and Rick saying that they shouldn't.

My stance is that some people, like myself, benefit from these results the same way that we benefit from a normal click through to our sites. I am able to do this by checking where the individual who clicked through is coming from and displaying a web page instead of the RSS with the exact same data that was in the feed.

But I don't stop there. I also make sure to let the user know how they got to the page and that they can now subscribe to that feed. It's a soft landing for what traditionally has been a hard look at XML or ugly feed displays in browsers. Which is where you will end up with 99.9 out of 100 feeds if you click through them when returned in a search.

What is Rick's position? If 99.9 are bad then they should be removed. For the time being I will agree that he is right. But that doesn't mean that this is the way it always has to be.

A couple of things could change this:

1) The uptake of RSS since IE7 and and FireFox now display their own XSLT to prettify the XML. Sort of like FeedBurner does.
2) Publishers add their own XSLT for their feeds
3) Publishers using blogs, most of which are dynamically generated, are written with code that can check for referers like Goolge, Live and Yahoo and redirect the user to a page that has the same content as the feed
4) My favorite. Google could create their own XSLT document that loads the feed into it.

Maybe that was more than a couple but I believe there are a lot of ways to welcome feeds into indexed search results beyond having to type in a search like intitle:"Google" ext:rss.

By the way, I'm not number one on this one Google is with it's YouTube property.

Next up, how to create RSS feeds with keywords in the title, how to get the .rss extension added to your feeds and landing pages for feeds.

Tags: RSS search page rank Google search RSS XSLT FeedBurner

I hope this clears things up a bit

Wed, 24 Oct 2007 21:50:29 -0500

Hey guys, I wanted to clear up something that some of you might have been thinking about my exit from Room 214 because of my explanation. My intention was not to be vague but with any new direction in business partnerships you make agreements.

I was not *__insert your verb for no longer employed by here__* from Room 214. I left on my own.

After many long discussions with my partners, and friends, we agreed that it was in the best interest of the Room 214 that we make an arrangement, this arrangement, to move forward with development of Castlock and allow Room 214 greater flexibility.

What is Castlock? It is the software that I wrote in 2006 and have recently guided development of to release version 2.5 with many new features. You can take a look at Castlock.com.

In my return to Palegroove and the workforce in general, I am in good relations with my partners as we continue to do business together as co-owners of RSSready.

Which is more than I can say for most partnerships that I have experienced and many that you, yourself, might have been involved in. Believe me, I have heard the horror stories and lived my own.

This is a really exciting time. However, I'd be lying if I didn't also say a bit scary. But what would life be without change? Hmmmmmm . . . sort of like living in Naperville?

Tags: Castlock Kris Smith RSSready RSSignite Episodr