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January 2010 All

Secret Sauce, Betsy Gets a Job, Weaponized Spit
1 comments      Added on January 29, 2010 by Kris
Show: #543
Length: 29:31
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Show notes gotta wait
But the show doesn't!!
Check your feeds and enjoy
Have a great weekend guys!
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag


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Tags
  costco  strollers  things  weaponized spit  awesome sauce  






 

Green Pants, Entering the Scene, Chicagowaukee accent
2 comments      Added on January 27, 2010 by Kris
Show: #542
Length: 30:33
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

I walk out on the stoop every morning to pick up the Times
I have on my robe, bunny slippers
You wish you could afford the Times
That's true
Or had a stoop of my own
Trampled by clicking heels heading out of the building
What I like about New York is you can count on people
You can trust them
However, you can't trust the New Yorkers that wear green pants
They will slam doors on you
Push you off the curb in front of a bus
The have an alliance with leprechauns
It's true
Trying to transcribe your kids homework from accented folks
We couldn't understand each other
You're accented now too, baby
You've toured the midwest
They can't understand you
Your Chicagowaukee accent
It's all about dominance in NY
Passive dominance is the flavor of the relationship
It's like entering an improv scene
Costco in the city experience
99/100 emails are for you
We did get noticed on the street
We handled it horribly
The kids were like what?
Really you know who I am?
The walking class is stuck during the NYC marathon
Only people left were us and the runners


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Tags
  Chicagowaukee  leprechaun  bunny slippers  NYC marathon  


 

The Night Out, Black Coats, Greasy Spoonage
1 comments      Added on January 25, 2010 by kris
Show: #541
Length: 32:33
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Leaving the comments
Sexy Betsy
That is all that I am calling you from now on
Like Galore Vixen
I went out with a new friend
It's hard to know what to dress like with new friends
She's a cool, cool kind of chick
Got pink streaks in her hair
She's a mommy, she's a nice lady
Guilt laden Bear speech
What?
Like wearing laundered clothes?
You gotta fill in the gaps
Had to put in earings
Always, but that is gaps of two years
Cough, cough
You didn't sound awful before
There are plenty of other folks that take 5 photos of themeselves a day
Maybe, they do
Let it hang there
Everybody here wears black
All winter coats are black
They all want to melt, it's like camo
Fast food is a class issue in NYC
If someone could ship me a chili cheese burrito from Taco Bell
The greasy spoon with Rolls Royces parked out front
It's a friggin greasy spoon
Park it in the cross walk
The kind you want to be!!
Driver will play on his iPhone while he waits
Angel the pitbull that attacked me
What kind of tool knows the name, got attacked and puts up a flier?
Talk of the NYC rub and tug joints
I was too busy doing the farmer's daughter


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Tags
  betsy smith  night out  pink streaks  farmers daughter  






 

the hottest woman i know | @reslaequeen | good gawd, baby.
6 comments      Added on January 23, 2010 by Kris

the hottest woman i know | @reslaequeen | good gawd, baby.

every time that betsy decides to go out with friends she has me take her photo.

probably, because it isn't that often that she gets to let her hair down and be an adult.

she does a saint's work with us. elliot, maggie and myself owe so much to her unsung work holding this family together.

i love her with all my heart and cherish the time that we have together. or maybe i constantly take it for granted and should be appreciative more often than when i am looking at your photo when you're not here?

baby, i love you.

i'm going to wait up for you and give you a big hug when you walk through the door. i might even cry because i am happy.

you are the best thing that ever came into my life and stuck around.


  

Tags
  work  photo  often  together  baby  


 

Doorman Wars, Overheard, New York Days
2 comments      Added on January 22, 2010 by kris
Show: #540
Length: 28:25
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Getting it on
Dude, that was so smarmy
You should talk like that job interviews
That way you would get every job
How are you homeless and buying brand new stuff?
I got a family and Cobra
IT skills true
Contracts and Cobra are for me
Cement truck guy got my dog and benies
Garbage picking in NYC
That couch you're sitting on was free
The doorman battles
What sort of breed are these guys?
They sweep you with your eyes
They're unionized
Snagging late night coupons when the bodega closes
You don't give that away for free!
Her mom told her that
The boyfriend was not into it
Oh, you don't have a . . .
I overpaid now
You were pretty for a guy


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Tags
  NYC Doormen  test  cement trunk  bodega lottery tickets  


 

Eyebrow scaping, Subway Dance Crew, Celebrity Encounters
6 comments      Added on January 20, 2010 by kris
Show: #539
Length: 30:25
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Server issues today, apparently the it ate the show and post
Thanks to those that sent messages!
Betsy thinks that I shave between my eyebrows
I'm just flakey and y'all scrape my flesh
Betsy wants to talk celebrity sightings
Mark was in town and we went to Kidrobot
And who else, Kris?
Mr. I'm Rick James, Bitch
Just us
I can't stand the fact you get to see all these people
On to pizza
NY is so awesome for show prep
The old man says, I'll be there in 15 minutes
Am I going to jail today?
Not today?
But I am still going to jail, yes?
Yes.
The dance crew gets on the subway


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Tags
  kidrobot  dave chappelle  subway dance crew  celebrity encounters  eyebrow shaping  


 

Streaming Player, Bald is Sexy, Queens Blvd.
1 comments      Added on January 18, 2010 by Kris
Show: #538
Length: 28:07
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Comments are all moderated now
Due to massive amounts of spam that is coming in
Great news . . . streaming player is ready to use
Go to Croncast -> Click 'streaming player' -> Sign in -> Listen
The Nextel phone chirp chirp is like the construction worker Twitter
Maybe I have a stroller you don't know about
A total Manhattan business is man strollers
Man purses are not in the scope
They're totally off limits
He's a cross dressing pimp
And he also coos
Dude is wearing a full length beaver coat
You should hold classes at the annex for cross dressing pimps
Queens they should go with you
The battle cry for cross dressing pimps
If you made that sound in Queens something would eat you
Tumbleweeds and paint ball
The greatest Goodwill ever
As far as clothing goes
$1.69 a pound for clothing
You can pick up Diesel Jeans
I may like them but I need Mavi jeans
Those fit
Not Levi's or Wranglers
There are no Wranglers in Manhattan
Cuz no one sells them here
The fancy man pants get their own hangers and racks
Size 28 Bootcut Citizens of Humanity Jeans
Yeah, no one is looking for that
Well maybe somebody is but you can't price for that one guy
Huge blue troughs full of this stuff
Safe with a prison, police, needles
Totally safe because it's like Aurora, IL
We pass the Dominican greasy spoon
I want to eat there and you guys always choose the hot dog joint
Mc Dominicans is the name, not really
Eyed up on the luv train
Betsy can't get enough of these stories from me
Wanna party, giant?


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Tags
  luv train  man musk  wanna party giant  queens resale  nextel chirp  


 

The Penthouse, Bedazzled Shirts, Purse Selling Zombies
1 comments      Added on January 15, 2010 by kris
Show: #537
Length: 28:09
Format: mp3

I can't tell you the story off the show
There is safety on the show
A good tight story
Directors cut?
Just tell me the story
Three hundred people waiting to get in . . .
And then us
Yeah, with you I don't think club with a 'K'
It looks like John Goselin fell from an airplane and exploded
All too much
The 6'8 400 lbs bouncer comes over
Failed arena football player
Heading to the penthouse party
Yes, I'll take you up right now
I don't fit at all
The head neck move dance all together
We make our way in
Turns out it is a Penthouse part
Not a penthouse party
Was TMZ there?
They see you the music stops and they ask who let this guy in
Schlumpy midwestern guy, who let him in?
I was on the of the line
Sure the Pussy Cat Dolls were doing there show
Did they say i gotta go to the bathroom
No, but they did let me know I might not get in
Leave you outside?
Yeah, but I totally understand
Gonna make it happen
I know that you know that I am impressed
You aren't making eye contact with me
We get into the VIP area
That was it
Didn't know what to do after that
Then the free drinks began
They brought out the Cristal
It was a cliche of cliches
Everyone is loving it
The AVN awards ends and the adult stars start showing up
Every Ed Hardy design was represented
Bouncers couldn't figure out who or why we were there
Let me tell you what we were doing while you were partying
I took Maggie to a craft shop
Where?
On Canal Street
Nice
Yeah, I was attacked by purse selling zombies
I would call you from hell, but not bother you from heaven
That's marriage
The store was half empty
Right, cuz all the embroidery thread was needed for the shirts in vegas


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Tags
  Pure Las Vegas  VIP  Penthouse Party  schlumpy  Ed hardy  


 

The New York Days Begin, Feral Las Vegas Cats, Costco Lust
6 comments      Added on January 13, 2010 by kris
Show: #536
Length: 40:05
Format: mp3

Thank you!
To all those that are cool . . . you rock!
If you're not cool, you can get cool
Why start on the 13th?
I can't avoid the number - I should embrace it
It's always in my address
Homeless guy that sleeps in front of only that address
Working on the streaming version player
Will be ready by Friday
How should I know that 3XL in gay is in XL?
I thought things were fancy in Naperville
Until I experienced Elliot's public school
Can anyone ring the bell at NYSE or NASDAQ?
Grammy tickets?
Where is this place and who are these people?
Having a nice car in New York
She has a huge Range Rover
What are we?
We're the Walking Class
Party at the wine bar for the parents
I don't have a baby sitter
No worries, my nanny can watch your kids too
Thanks but I can't get there
Don't worry my husband has a car service
I was just at Costco, you bitch
No idea how I would even get there
The suburban delights are missing here
No alone time here
What kind of hell is to be in Las Vegas for a week
You would sleep with a girl named Debra
I did leave Miss Debra to do her thing
My hotel turned out to be a motel
And yes it had feral cats
I could hear water dripping
Sure, that was the dead hooker in the wall
Fresh sponge paint on everything
If you had been raised with a vagina
You never would have accepted that room
Setting me for slaughter
I thought I was dead
You have a story to tell me Mr B
Friday, baby
It is too long
You went to a penthouse party in Las Vegas
No, a Penthouse party in the VIP
I've got no idea how to describe it


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Tags
  Get Cool  NYSE  The New York Days  Miss Debra  No tell motel  


 

new shows on magic 13 - via twitter
0 comments      Added on January 12, 2010 by Kris
hey guys, for those that haven't seen the show notes from warm up episode, the new shows start wed. 13th.



  

Tags
  new croncast  


 
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