Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

Season 22 Ep 07: Betsy's Clairvoyant, You're Grounded, Gameshow Desires

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 12:20:41 -0500

Croncast - 2009-06-16.mp3
Show: #533
Length: 25:51
Size: 23.8 mb
Format: mp3

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What you don't have is the funny
I'm bringing it to over 40 people Thursday nights
All in the old Seinfeld time slot
What are you up against?
Oh, yeah . . . ER reruns
They used to stay home for Greys Anatomy
Not so hot early on
Doing the shows for your cousins
12 people versus 50 and percentage laughing
Well, I can see you telling a joke in a restroom
All about pumping your ego up
Two fangirls waiting for me
Thinking they can't find the bathroom
"Oh, my god. You were so funny."
Bitsy's door star - they can't speel
The bicycle issue
There is no issue . . . I am the BMX'n boy
Kris, I couldn't ride a bike until I was 10
That is the plan the man is on
He got my physical genes
My neighbors got rich of off my physical ineptitude
I learned to ride in the grass
Of course you did softy
I saw a malleable four year old girl in front of me
She wanted to go fast
Daddy, go get the tool box
She takes the wrench from me
Takes the training wheels herself
Took 2 minutes to get her going
Then 20 to get her starting off on her own
Loving it for the freedom
Number one for her was freedom
The second is that Elliot can't ride a bike
She pointed it out, Not me
A stranger isn't going the pick the nutty kid
The other was her fear of punishment
She tried to give up
I motivated her
She got so upset that she just did it
All kids are different and need different motivational techniques
Just a wee bit of manipulation
One teaspoon of manipulation and one of sweat
You gotta throw in some love
You know that I am clairvoyant Mr B
Baby, you can't tell people that
That is just too much
Walking to school in a Marlboro Jacket
They had a denim one that I wanted
You could deduce that knowing my history
Betsy is ready to restart her career as a game show contestant
When you hit the track you become a robot
I'll be back later, I got ponies to read up on

Tags: Seinfeld bmx game show ponies fangirl

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Season 22 Ep 02: Gothar, Alaskan Nomads, Ham Ketchup Sandwich

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 11:26:05 -0500

Croncast - 2009-04-17.mp3
Show: #527
Length: 24:15
Size: 22.3 mb
Format: mp3

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Bringing it on the Friday!
That's a post, this is a post I know that I am fabulous
Helps promote the show
Give these people a chance
Then the audience swells
My kids can't sleep
More popular than Wired magazine daddy's
I can make a super sandwich
For your daughter
The ham and ketchup sandwich
Fulfilling her need "Scooby Doo Style"
That's on you
Appaloosa is where I am going
Let's count down your shiny chasing skills
Glad you can admit them
You are my little raccoon
Betsy is going to be on the Radio Shopping Show
Gotta give the back story
Rubeeen had been there to show us
Pet a lizard Sure he'll bring the salmonella to your front door
This is my favorite lizard, Gothar
Sure, he's gotta pack the lizards
It's totally worth two hundred bucks
The party phenomenon
Turn it all into a party
What kind of burner are you?
Pipeline or bust
They were on the bust side
We have a token listener in Alaska
Don't even try
Nomad in some populations, transient in our community
I was just that good

Tags: lizard food gothar alaska wired ham sandwich

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Season 21 Ep 24: The Mexico Part 3

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 11:52:03 -0500

Croncast - 2009-03-30.mp3
Show: #524
Length: 41:24
Size: 38 mb
Format: mp3

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When, when, when, when
This was supposed to go out Friday
Maggie has been insanely sick
What happens when you read all of these Oprah books?
It should come with a six pack of Xanax
Difficult times?
Write a book
You need to change your name to Kristina
Sending email as Kris Smith
People would respond to me as a woman<
br> So I had to make it Kristopher Smith Wait, Mr B
I have to give a shout out to Carrie, thanks for coming to my show
The Mexico Part 3 begins now
Betsy, you are at the buffet, go . . .
If I had known that they served guacamole breakfast, lunch and dinner
Standing at the buffet
A woman sidles up next to me
"What part of Canada are you from?"
I speak like that because I lived in Milwaukee for a few years
Where's that?
Wisconsin
Is that a big city?
All the push ups that you do
They could throw a rock at it
She was wearing the crocs
Then I scanned the room and it was covered in crocs
That is he face of colonialism
Later . . .
I'm the only American
What is the most expensive shit you got behind this bar?
Grand Marnier on the rocks the entire trip
Do you want to know how to cook the guacamole?
He was like a bull fighter
Super hot
Fellas watch out for this
They will whisk you wife away
The Italian says, "You mean this prison"
You must leave this compound
They will take you to the jungle
They get electricity for 2 hours a day
It is wonderful
Deciding to go deep see fishing
How did you get over the shark fear?
We were stuck at the front gate
How many signs do you need?
It was like a road block
We were there on a gift certificate
I'm thinking that this will be so nice
The authentic Mexican experience awaits
We get to the place
Sure, it would have have been authentic
But didn't the charter company name tell you all you needed to know?
Captain Rick's
It should have
Yeah, if it were Captain Ricardo's
On the boat with a Canada
They start swearing at us in Spanish
Turns out I am the only one that knows it
I kept my mouth shut
Betsy catches Dory (see photo in post)
"Chocha Grande"
How is the fish doing?
Mas muerto
They pull it back into the boat
Cut up Dory and turned her into chum
We had Captain Bicho
More protected species were caught
Chopped and chum
Chocha account is over 11 at this point
I'm the bloke, right
Don't be a chocha Mr B

Tags: Crocs Canadian Tourists The Mexico GrandMarnier

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Season 21 Ep 23: The Mexico Part 2

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 14:55:13 -0500

Croncast - 2009-03-25.mp3
Show: #523
Length: 33:08
Size: 30.4 mb
Format: mp3

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Introducing our driver, Rueben
Pronounced Rue - been
You'll understand why shortly
We're on the homepage in iTunes podcast store
In the parenting category
You're the whip cream
I am the pie to your whip cream
Does that mean we are getting divorced?
Rueben has discussing the directions that the Montana girls gave him
Nervous like Mom telling me, "Let's go to TJ to buy school supplies"
Sterling silver bangles
Hurling off into the middle of nowhere
The jungle begins flying by
Look at that, it's great
Is it abandoned?
Right, just like central Illinois
Look at you, getting all metric
Jungle was 20 km away
Fine, how about 20 clicks?
Betsy gets scared and starts talking
The Montana girls want you shut up
Actually, it was Erasure
Luggage in my lap
Moobs are getting damp
Rueben rolled up all the windows the moment we got in
4 adult Americans and one Mexican adult
Our bodies use more energy, seriously
They throw the old road next to the new road
You might need a chunk later
It'll have the rebar in it right away
Betsy asked to see the girls' directions
Oh my, God
"OK, like this is going to be so great. Take a left I don't know where, crappy town and it has a number 4."
Betsy's rendition of this is priceless, you have to listen
Around the crappy town, around and around
Forty minutes later we're still circling the town
Weaponry was at full blaze in plenty of places
Security is tight at Goodwill but not like this
Rueben speaks three words of English - yes, no and maybe
And he doesn't know what either of them mean
Don't fly to a foreign country without the address of where you are going
If I were on this trip with Jeanie
No Mrs. and Mrs. Montana it would have been safe!
The highlight of my trip was passing the local airport
I think it's called . . .
Rueben whips around, "Nooooooooooooooooo"
We were 20 clicks from were we supposed to be in the opposite direction
He hands the directions to the armed guard
We find the joint
The girls tip him like $1.50 USD
Rueben peels out in reverse
We hit our heads on the back window
But we arrived in one piece
Colonialism is alive and well
You can't tell me that you didn't breath a sigh of relief
Happy to be alive and I need a burger
The next four days became a huge pain in the ass
Look at these awful white people and their destruction of paradise
While, asking me to rub aloe on my back

Tags: Mexico Vacation Dreams Tulum Rueben the montanas colonialism

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Season 21 Ep 22: The Mexico Part 1

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 14:51:06 -0500

Croncast - 2009-03-23.mp3
Show: #522
Length: 32:12
Size: 29.6 mb
Format: mp3

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Back from the Mexico
This here would be part 1 of a multi-part series
This is where we take you on our vaction with us
I think I've been drinking excessively
She sweats the daiquiri
For those of you caught up, you know that we weren't around last week
We were on Betsy's Wheel of Fortune vaction to Mexico
Best part - it was free
I'll get to the parts where you nearly broke down
Props on the plastic plants you bought
Excellent investment for returning home
Growing up in a silk jungle
Dusty cornflower blue carnations
These flowers are special
They will be here forever
At some point you know that your mother-in-law will show up
Thank you for admitting that you didn't want to go with me
You can't relax for your life
Right, I can't do it
My biggest concern was the webernets close at hand
I had to have wi-fi
And your gear
One laptop, a netbook, iPhone, Treo, Camera and tons of cables
There you are a big nerd
That's just the way that it was
I don't want to take him on a vacation
What happens if you don't have them and need them?
Getting on Facebook drunk is a bad idea
They have an international speaking doctor on staff
Mayan vs Spanish vs English
He had watched 6 seasons of ER
The Swedish Slenders came up with Continental airplane designs
Hulking massive dude in the cramped seat typing on a toy computer
The women sitting behind you Mr B inspired them
They had their own "Baby Daddy Con '09"
Loose women? Is that what you are trying to say
The entire flight "My Baby Daddy..." the entire trip
The way they talked about them you would expect their baby daddies to be titans of industry
Best job I ever had was working at the shrimp hut
Needless to say that they didn't have any kids with them
Was excited she got to run cash register
Maybe in 2010 Baby Daddy Con '10 will be on your next flight
Keynote speaker will address "fertility in tough times"
If Jeanie were here
We would have started drinking and laughed at the girls
The best in flight entertainment
I am fixated on the Mayan the thing
It's a cultural thing
Continental bathrooms in the terminals, good god
I needed a ladder to get down to the urnial to pee
Not on the plane, baby
They were out to make you out to feel like 7'5
Continental "Making you feel like a big man."
Mexican customs
Betsy comes to a complete stop and follows directions
Abiding by the rules while no one else is
Move it, chocha
Chocha is now my new middle name
Why didn't we plan for a ride to resort?
Jumping on the newbies
Look, fat people on spring break
Kris gets into protection mode
We roll outside to get on your Grey Line minibus
Only two people heading in our direction
The girls from Montana
We're out there chatting for an hour as we wait
They pull up in a baja raced VW Jetta
Us and the girls pile in
The driver waits outside reading the directions the girls gave him
Twenty minutes later he gets back in the car
Little did we know what was written on that paper
If they had given to me, I would have kicked them to the curb
Find out what was on that paper on Wednesday

Tags: Mexican Vacation Dreams Tulum Baby Daddy Con daiquiri mix chocha

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Season 21 Ep 21: Doggy DNA Test, Marsupial Wife, Trustafarians

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 13:10:28 -0500

Croncast - 2009-03-13.mp3
Show: #521
Length: 30:57
Size: 28.2 mb
Format: mp3

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Here we are
March 13th, 2009
Yep, I said it
iTunes has a new fancy feature
Still us reviews
"Betsy's good...Kris is better"
The studio space, manpit remodel has helped my mental state
What are you reaching for?
Betsy is wearing a hoody
Paper in front pocket
My marsupial wife
Doggy DNA test results have arrived
I wish you get down with the fact that Herc is a porn star
My fauxberman is . . .
Want to find out? We get into at 1:50 into the show
He's 25% nothing?
WTF? how much did you pay for this
Finding out what composes a vajayjay slayer
His doberman shining
American terrier? uh no
Picking him up from the rescue
I expected as everyone else did he would be full grown dobie
The Amex Full Panel Mixed Breed Analysis says . . .
Well, my emotions are getting the best of me
No more pitbull in sweater photos please
Betsy's new show is rocking like crazy
Elliot's teacher is sitting front row
Oh, baby
You're like a stress bunny
Sure when you were baked
You have to check out Betsy's facebook profile
See her college shots that Jeanie uploaded
Do you have a trust fund too?

Tags: dog dna test Amex Panel Mixed Breed Analysis fauxberman trustafarian

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Season 21 Ep 20: Paper Collars, Carry On, Mexico Anxiety

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 15:26:55 -0500

Croncast - 2009-03-11.mp3
Show: #520
Length: 30:30
Size: 28.0 mb
Format: mp3

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Traveling with Grammie's carry on
Boarding the dogs
Mexico anxiety is coming home to roost
Paper dog collars
Hercy vajajay slayer
TSA was just messing with me
It wasn't a vacation
Did you have the kids?
Did you drink?
Yes and yes
Then it was a vacation

Tags: peecol kidrobot mexico anxiety paper collars grandma luggage

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Season 21 Ep 19: Comedy Shrine, Tiny orbit, Keeping it Croncast

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 12:40:17 -0600

Croncast - 2009-03-06.mp3
Show: #519
Length: 30:28
Size: 28.0 mb
Format: mp3

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Betsy's opening night went of without a hitch!
Every Thursday night at The Comedy Shrine, Naperville
Using Kris as a prop during the show
How is that not like the rest of my life?
Big changes in the Smith house . . . again
And when isn't it big changes, Kris?
Always, Croncast moments

Update: Missed the Evo Terra note. Sharing is truly caring as even as @evo_terra gets his toes did. Sorry we missed this one, buddy!

Tags: Comedy Shrine Laugh Time Betsy Smith croncast moments

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Season 21 Ep 18: The comments episode

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 13:29:10 -0600

Croncast - 2009-03-02.mp3
Show: #518
Length: 29:43
Size: 25.2 mb
Format: mp3

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The comments show
Been a long time since we have done one of these
Check out Matt's rider for Betsy
That's it on show notes

Tags: Blackberry Verizon comments Matt Snodgrass

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Season 21 Ep 17: Fly home stoned, Polyester rugs, Gesticulate freely

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 12:37:27 -0600

Croncast - 2009-02-27.mp3
Show: #517
Length: 27:26
Size: 25.2 mb
Format: mp3

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Get it on
Leave us some comments here or reviews in iTunes
Not really vicious
But spousal hate
Funny on many levels
A paid gig for Betsy
Will you be on IMDB?
I don't know what you're talking about
March every Thursday
Five other chicks all under me
Sounds like my kind of life
It's all coming together
Adam Carolla is now on the podcasting
Maybe we need to hire him
Six women under me
I want to write that book
Re-organized the basement
I had to get it on
Needed to change up my space
This winter is killing me emotionally
Short shorn polyester rug
It's 85 colors and shades of testosterone
Been stuck down here working for so long
I got a bit claustrophobic
Proud you cleaned up
Making space
I was afraid to touch your desk
Now I can gesticulate freely
It's like we're single again
Right from your mother's clutches to mine
You would be perfectly happy at public storage
Don't ship Grandma's meds via FedEx
So she can fly home stoned
Right, like God intended
Sherlock in Mumbai

Tags: Adam Carolla Podcast FedEx mule gesticulate freely Sherlock in Mumbai

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Season 21 Ep 16: Passport Time, Making Waves, Legitimacy

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 16:25:51 -0600

Croncast - 2009-02-25.mp3
Show: #516
Length: 29:42
Size: 26.7 mb
Format: mp3

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Way short on show notes
Been working all day
Just found time now to put this out
One of your funniest shows

Tags: Riviera Maya Mexico Vacation Facebook friends the earth

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Season 21 Ep 15: Standing, No Cutsies, Betsy's Big Show

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 12:50:31 -0600

Croncast - 2009-02-23.mp3
Show: #515
Length: 27:41
Size: 25.4 mb
Format: mp3

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Hope everyone had a great weekend
This show we get down with our lapses in mondey diet
Fiscal responsibility never sounded so bad
Like, "never yell at the pit boss," for instance

Tags: pit boss comedy shrine no cutsies fiscal responsibility

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Season 21 Ep 14: Rat Poison, SHE Squad, Followed Home

Fri, 20 Feb 2009 13:23:38 -0600

Croncast - 2009-02-20.mp3
Show: #514
Length: 26:43
Size: 24.6 mb
Format: mp3

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Missed the Wednesday show
Besty's been sick
Must be the path
Never buy rat poison, Gatorade and get a passport photo at same time
It's no just my paranoia, I was followed home by a black mercedes
Sure, Kris, they sent the SHE Squad after you
Right after they finished shooting a show on Lifetime
Bret Michaels mouth
Yes, Betsy, the dogs mouth is cleaner and he eats his own poop

Tags: Lifetime SHE Squad rat poison black mercedes Bret Michaels

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Season 21 Ep 13: That Episode, Get the Patch, Expo Cubes

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 17:18:37 -0600

Croncast - 2009-02-16.mp3
Show: #513
Length: 22:57
Size: 21.1 mb
Format: mp3

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This show brought to you by PodioBooks.com
Gingerly I speak as Betsy does withdraw
I had a dream about her using the patches as band aids
Nicotine burn
The smoking cessation has begun
I've got the kids show notes are short
You listen, you will know.

Tags: smoking cessation nicotine patch middle finger missing meds

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Season 21 Ep 12: Triscadecaphobic, Mental Sabbatical, Rescue Animals

Fri, 13 Feb 2009 12:49:11 -0600

Croncast - 2009-02-13.mp3
Show: #512
Length: 24:13
Size: 22.3 mb
Format: mp3

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This show brought to you by Affordable Promotions
I won't say the date
A bit triscadecaphobic are we?
As usual
I know how this goes
It's a big business day
The cyclical nature of our moon phases matched with a Friday the ____
Happy Valentines Day Mr B
I'm going to buy you a gross of coffee mugs with my face on them
Great, I could sell them at Starbucks or a quarter
WachterBach haul
Sounds like a Worcester sauce
Pfaltzgraff and a fancy brand called Kimberly-Clark
Getting the freezer
"I remember that like it was yesterday"
That makes you old
The recall feature to tell the stories properly
Hercules came to me while I was sleeping
The stories that people tell about their rescue animals
What is going on with Facebook?
Everyone is showing up
All of your past infested lovers
I can see my friend that is now on a mental sabbatical

Tags: mental sabbatical moon phases triscadecaphobic wachterbach

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Season 21 Ep 11: The Kitty's Gone, CarMax Sale, Kelly Blue Book

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 12:14:43 -0600

Croncast - 2009-02-11.mp3
Show: #511
Length: 33:56
Size: 31.2 mb
Format: mp3

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This show brought to you by Affordable Promotions
Pick a post, any post to leave a comment
You can leave a comment for our 2012 shows
It's a whole new internet that I developed on my own
Valentine's day is 3 days away
Buy you love an "I love you baby USB drive"
You gave me the best gift ever Mr B for Valentines Day
Conversion van jokes search this site for John Elway
I read a thread
Ping me when you're ready
So you're reading this thread about CarMax
Supposedly they pay close to Kelly Blue Book for car
Saved by a bucket of chicken
Selling a car privately
Was much to worry about
The slow drive-by in the Ford Explorer
It's the same person
I've been to that garage sale
The same Velma
That would be Vonda
CarMax gives you an appraisal
So we go for it
The Volvo will be sold
Picking it up after detail
The car knew
The dash lit up with warnings
30 minutes later all good
We decide to get both cars appraised
Well, Kris' gift?
The photo above says it all
Trunk full of auto parts and a mechanic strapped to bumper
But we still did something that Dave Ramsey would frown on
Hit up the casino last week
It felt really good to be really bad . . . on a budget
What is so hot to ladies about a man that plays the tables?
No oxygen tank

Tags: Jaguar CarMax appraisal Kelly Blue Book Dave Ramsey

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Season 21 Ep 10: Coffee Breath, 100 years old, Chingtao

Mon, 09 Feb 2009 15:20:22 -0600

Croncast - 2009-02-09.mp3
Show: #510
Length: 25:05
Size: 23.1 mb
Format: mp3

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This show brought to you by Affordable Promotions
The show notes be short
Jorge asks all night long where the 5'5 lady is
She's 100 years old
She gives me injections of insulin
Twater
Do you mean water?
Twater
OK
Chingtao
Following Betsy's car
Getting smoke and coffee breath 25ft behind

Tags: coffee breath Twater chinese joint insulin injections

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Season 21 Ep 9: Copies, Chicken Chutes, Cheap Divorces

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 13:02:22 -0600

Croncast - 2009-02-06.mp3
Show: #509
Length: 29:41
Size: 27.3 mb
Format: mp3

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This show brought to you by Affordable Promotions
I'm on the wellness train
Gary Shilts cheap divorces window scraper
Betsy's host read
I didn't know that you background in radio?
Your dating a of DJ
I got this gig through FFA
I wasn't gonna check chicken chutes
Feta is for farmers
Chemists making cheese
I was the hottest chick in FFA
They could break walnuts with their thighs
You know, those girls
They smelled like hog shit at school
Which farm implement to have sex in for comfort
What else are the going to do?
It laid fallow long enough
See you didn't get to do that
They would have given you the bullhorn one morning
Get your feral cat poison by the gallon. Two for one!
Corn based economy
Flat tire again
Buy wine and bottled water for earthquake
Better if it was a Croncast poster
Join the department of health
"You probably have hep c. Brought to you by Croncast.com"
We could find tons of new listeners
Small town video store All the labels were black and white
Quality of my relations was my credit

Tags: goat cheese FFA wellness train cronast ads corn based economy

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Season 21 Ep 08: Where is everybody, Blue Book, Not well

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 10:42:21 -0600

Croncast - 2009-02-04.mp3
Show: #508
Length: 23:57
Size: 22mb
Format: mp3

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No show notes, I'm sick
I'm heading to bed
Glad I built scheduled posting into this thing!

Tags: kelly blue book dealership chipotle economy

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Season 21 Ep 07: We've got three, Manternity clothes, Old Spice Pirate

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 15:31:16 -0600

Croncast - 2009-02-02.mp3
Show: #507
Length: 27:28
Size: 25.7 mb
Format: mp3

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Betsy starting her own line of manternity clothes
You need to try harder baby
I have never worn Old Spice
But I keep looking over my shoulder for a sailor
Tell us your thoughts on eliminating our car loan debt
To do so properly get the skinny from the last 5 minutes of the show

Tags: Lincoln Town Car Manternity dairysnake Old Spice Pirate

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Season 21 Ep 06: The Child's Strengths, Egg Nog Down, Banana Seat Dream

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 00:22:39 -0600

Croncast - 2009-01-28.mp3
Show: #506
Length: 28:45
Size: 26.4 mb
Format: mp3

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This show brought to you by Dorothea's Song an audio book by author Ron Vitale
Get the audio book and the PDF visit www.losoil.com
Breaking down the banana seat bike
Infinite blackness
We're still married
When I get nervous I get funny
Much, much more on this episode

Tags: banana seat awakening parsonage clever vocabulary irregardless

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Season 21 Ep 05: Making Waves, Bandanas in the Pool, Dog Grill

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 13:53:38 -0600

Croncast - 2009-01-26.mp3
Show: #505
Length: 22:00
Size: 20.2 mb
Format: mp3

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Hair plugs for your dog
He'll always look like a puppy
Flint for sparking doberman jaws
A grill for my dog with diamonds
Add some flint too for sparks
That would be hot
Burglars like shiny stuff
Made the water park trek
Long way to Wisconsin birthday part
Don't kiss my kids
Or lick your face
Bandanas in the pool

Tags: water park doberman jaws sparking teeth Wisconsin birthday bandana

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Season 21 Ep 04: Shivering and Grumping, Venereal Stimulant, Life Plan

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 13:30:32 -0600

Croncast - 2009-01-21.mp3
Show: #504
Length: 24:07
Size: 22.1 mb
Format: mp3

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Of those last week and yore
Kris, I've noticed that you've gotten chilly today
My body is cuddling itself trying to keep warm
I turned off the heat to try to force you out of the house
The cold isn't bothering me
So this was part of your master plan
A cocoon of The North Face goodness
All this little spoiled babies
Kids why don't you go see your dad
Shivering and grumping
I eat like I'm a seal
Get out, see some people
Skinny folks listen up
The chubby friend gets to make the salad jokes, Not you
The fat jokes are for me
Fattitudes about the chunky
Of course they're going to order the fries
When I lost weight I felt like a spy
Listening to people talk about the people
It's not blubber, it's a 42 in waist
The size I come is thick
I'm like a cylinder
You could benefit from some manternity clothes
My tummy isn't that protrusive
With the beard I wouldn't be a venereal stimulate any longer
Your mom probably called you that
I caught from my Buick
Someone was eating donuts in my car again
It's a medical term
Life Plan '09
Credit cards are all paid off

Tags: the north face venereal stimulant manternity clothes life plan

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Season 21 Ep 03: Obama Eve, Tigers and Stripes, Funding Love

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 16:03:57 -0600

Croncast - 2009-01-19.mp3
Show: #502
Length: 35:56
Size: 33.0mb
Format: mp3

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Me and the man are calling it a guys night . . . no show notes
None really needed because Besty is all Obama and I play devil's advocate
I'll be sleeping in the shed

Tags: Obama collector coins tiger stripes obama eve

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Season 21 Ep 02: Africa for the Weekend, Oprah taping, Cardigans and Plaid

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 12:30:41 -0600

Croncast - 2009-01-14.mp3
Show: #502
Length: 35:56
Size: 33.0mb
Format: mp3

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Is that why you are wearing what you are wearing?
You got me this
Right, from the Greek Orthodox garage sale
From hefty to hot
Not hot in my heft?
These are some things we need to discuss
I checked out this cardigan
Then I brought it home to you
Then you put it on
That was four months ago
You haven't taken it off since
It's my man cardigan
I always wear my gear
My wardrobe is devolving
You are not hairy enough to pull off the look
I know that i don't have enough hair
This shirt comes in with built in boobies
A flannel bra in my case might work
Jammy bras
The people want to hear about Oprah
Sure they do
You never know who could pop by Oprah's studio
I could get a Kindle
We drive to Harpo Studios
Based on Grammy's address advice
It's gonna cost to park here
Too much snow this year
Everyone's gone back to the old country
It's 4:30 a.m.
Where's Harpo Studios?
Huh?
Turns out we were 10 blocks off
Just look for the 50-foot tall flashing Oprah statue
I thought it was on south Michigan
It's far away from where you are
They don't put up with anything
The Oprah rules
Handheld facial scanners
They make sure you can't get in again
Drama just getting there
The warm up chick shows up
She's lame
I could have killed it
So I got the opporutnity to speak
It was my shot to get my mom on the show
I love this
I made them go wild in warm up
They brought me a boom mic
Held by a girl named Boom Mic
4 minutes to show
This woman in the front row starts puking
Oprah went all diva after her first segment
Oprah, are you going to let your hormones be the excuse not to lose weight this year?
Damn!
That reminds of me of my trip last month
The one to Drew Peterson's cul de sac
Stuck in a snow drift
Feeling dirty
Why would you stalk a serial killer?
You are so stupid sometimes, Kris
What?
You would have went with me if you knew
No
Well, I wouldn't have gotten stuck

Tags: Kindle Oprah show Harpo Studios Drew Peterson flannel bra Handheld facial scanner

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